The cookies are gone
Have a Nice Day!
Ok, 3 packs of cookies are gone in less than 2 days.
That wouldn't be a problem except for one thing:
They ate every single one without a thought that their dad might want some (since he bought them).
He bought the last pack last night, and they were gone before lunch today.
Its this inconsiderateness that I get angry at, not the fact that the cookies are gone.
Any suggestions?
Kristen
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
That wouldn't be a problem except for one thing:
They ate every single one without a thought that their dad might want some (since he bought them).
He bought the last pack last night, and they were gone before lunch today.
Its this inconsiderateness that I get angry at, not the fact that the cookies are gone.
Any suggestions?
Kristen
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Game-Enthusiast
If I had felt it was important to Dad, I might have mentioned it to the kids
before the cookies were gone that he'd like some when he got home. If I
didn't remember to and realized it after, I would mention to the kids that
I'd bet Dad would have liked to have some of those cookies, maybe next time
you could try to remember to save him some. It would work here. Not sure
about at your house.
Angela
game-enthusiast@...
Any suggestions?
Kristen
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
before the cookies were gone that he'd like some when he got home. If I
didn't remember to and realized it after, I would mention to the kids that
I'd bet Dad would have liked to have some of those cookies, maybe next time
you could try to remember to save him some. It would work here. Not sure
about at your house.
Angela
game-enthusiast@...
Any suggestions?
Kristen
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
yukonaurora65
I have four kids. I'm really realistic about how many minutes treats
will or can last in our house. We have treats that are freely
available. These range from pop, chips and candy to yoghurt, smoked
salmon, corn on the cob or an always full fruit bowl.
When Mom or Dad have treats that aren't to be shared (or at least
not yet-like maybe a cake for dessert) we take them into our
bedroom. If it needs to be refridgerated or frozen then everyone is
made aware of whose treat it is. Likewise, if the kids have bought
themselves something (older ones) or requested a special something
(the whole bunch) they can also request that no one touch it.
It's just a matter of basic respect in our house. Also, no one is
really ever hurting for treats here either.
Nadine
will or can last in our house. We have treats that are freely
available. These range from pop, chips and candy to yoghurt, smoked
salmon, corn on the cob or an always full fruit bowl.
When Mom or Dad have treats that aren't to be shared (or at least
not yet-like maybe a cake for dessert) we take them into our
bedroom. If it needs to be refridgerated or frozen then everyone is
made aware of whose treat it is. Likewise, if the kids have bought
themselves something (older ones) or requested a special something
(the whole bunch) they can also request that no one touch it.
It's just a matter of basic respect in our house. Also, no one is
really ever hurting for treats here either.
Nadine
Aimee
<<Its this inconsiderateness that I get angry at, not
the fact that the
cookies are gone.
doing it because the cookies taste good, and you have
lots of kids competing over who gets what. ;-) Big
family, right?
You, as an adult, would maybe keep some reserved for
your husband...can you really see your young children
thinking of this on their own, and doing it?
You grab one package and say, hey guys, enjoy those
cookies, I'm just gonna take this one for Dad. He
bought them, and he's going to want some. I'm sure
he'll share when he opens them....Whatever. Or, you
just hide them. lol Seriously. What cookies they
don't know about, won't hurt them. ;-)
Kids this young (right?) don't automatically *think*
of these things, doesn't make them inconsiderate. As
parents of young children, we have to remember that
their experience of the world is limited, that's what
*we're* around for.
Beware of having adult expectations for young kids. If
you think of it that way, you might realize how goofy
it sounds. ;-) I betcha if you mentioned how mad you
were for them not keeping any for Dad, they'd be
shocked. (not that you should do that, IMO, what's
done is done)
~Aimee
the fact that the
cookies are gone.
>>They're not doing it out of inconsideration, they're
doing it because the cookies taste good, and you have
lots of kids competing over who gets what. ;-) Big
family, right?
You, as an adult, would maybe keep some reserved for
your husband...can you really see your young children
thinking of this on their own, and doing it?
You grab one package and say, hey guys, enjoy those
cookies, I'm just gonna take this one for Dad. He
bought them, and he's going to want some. I'm sure
he'll share when he opens them....Whatever. Or, you
just hide them. lol Seriously. What cookies they
don't know about, won't hurt them. ;-)
Kids this young (right?) don't automatically *think*
of these things, doesn't make them inconsiderate. As
parents of young children, we have to remember that
their experience of the world is limited, that's what
*we're* around for.
Beware of having adult expectations for young kids. If
you think of it that way, you might realize how goofy
it sounds. ;-) I betcha if you mentioned how mad you
were for them not keeping any for Dad, they'd be
shocked. (not that you should do that, IMO, what's
done is done)
~Aimee
[email protected]
In a message dated 8/22/04 8:00:46 AM, aimeel73@... writes:
<< Kids this young (right?) don't automatically *think*
of these things, doesn't make them inconsiderate. As
parents of young children, we have to remember that
their experience of the world is limited, that's what
*we're* around for. >>
And if they do think, maybe they think daddy's a mature human with money in
his wallet, while they're little kids, broke and stuck at home. And they'd be
right, if they thought that.
My kids will drink Dr Pepper warm, from the garage. I only like it cold. If
I put some in the refrigerator, though, it all disappears before I want one
(which is only maybe twice a week, and we have a stream of teenagers through
here). So I put a few in the back fridge, which is mostly longterm storage,
and my husband doesn't like DP so it's safe there. <g> I used to feel grumpy
at the kids for not ALWAYS saving one for me, and I'd go "Wah, wah, warm, me,"
kind of in a little irritating rant, but it was immature of me.
I could put my name on one, but I'm too lazy. I can drink them with ice and
stop whining. I can always keep so many that there will be an extra for me.
But I can't make the kids responsible for my very-occasional desire for a
soda.
I'm grown and they're not. The responsibility for creative and equitable
solutions is mine.
Sandra
<< Kids this young (right?) don't automatically *think*
of these things, doesn't make them inconsiderate. As
parents of young children, we have to remember that
their experience of the world is limited, that's what
*we're* around for. >>
And if they do think, maybe they think daddy's a mature human with money in
his wallet, while they're little kids, broke and stuck at home. And they'd be
right, if they thought that.
My kids will drink Dr Pepper warm, from the garage. I only like it cold. If
I put some in the refrigerator, though, it all disappears before I want one
(which is only maybe twice a week, and we have a stream of teenagers through
here). So I put a few in the back fridge, which is mostly longterm storage,
and my husband doesn't like DP so it's safe there. <g> I used to feel grumpy
at the kids for not ALWAYS saving one for me, and I'd go "Wah, wah, warm, me,"
kind of in a little irritating rant, but it was immature of me.
I could put my name on one, but I'm too lazy. I can drink them with ice and
stop whining. I can always keep so many that there will be an extra for me.
But I can't make the kids responsible for my very-occasional desire for a
soda.
I'm grown and they're not. The responsibility for creative and equitable
solutions is mine.
Sandra
Have a Nice Day!
My kids are almost 16, 12, and 9. I think they are old enough to have some consideration for others in the family, and old enough to realize that money is not unlimited.
If they were "young" kids, I'd agree with y'all, but their not :o).
Kristen
If they were "young" kids, I'd agree with y'all, but their not :o).
Kristen
----- Original Message -----
From: SandraDodd@...
To: [email protected]
Sent: Sunday, August 22, 2004 8:28 AM
Subject: Re: [UnschoolingDiscussion] The cookies are gone
In a message dated 8/22/04 8:00:46 AM, aimeel73@... writes:
<< Kids this young (right?) don't automatically *think*
of these things, doesn't make them inconsiderate. As
parents of young children, we have to remember that
their experience of the world is limited, that's what
*we're* around for. >>
And if they do think, maybe they think daddy's a mature human with money in
his wallet, while they're little kids, broke and stuck at home. And they'd be
right, if they thought that.
My kids will drink Dr Pepper warm, from the garage. I only like it cold. If
I put some in the refrigerator, though, it all disappears before I want one
(which is only maybe twice a week, and we have a stream of teenagers through
here). So I put a few in the back fridge, which is mostly longterm storage,
and my husband doesn't like DP so it's safe there. <g> I used to feel grumpy
at the kids for not ALWAYS saving one for me, and I'd go "Wah, wah, warm, me,"
kind of in a little irritating rant, but it was immature of me.
I could put my name on one, but I'm too lazy. I can drink them with ice and
stop whining. I can always keep so many that there will be an extra for me.
But I can't make the kids responsible for my very-occasional desire for a
soda.
I'm grown and they're not. The responsibility for creative and equitable
solutions is mine.
Sandra
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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[email protected]
In a message dated 8/22/04 10:04:26 AM, litlrooh@... writes:
<< My kids are almost 16, 12, and 9. I think they are old enough to have
some consideration for others in the family, and old enough to realize that money
is not unlimited. >>
If what you think they should be able to do and what they can do don't match,
your choices are between doing things that make the situation better, and
doing things that make the situation worse.
Mine are 12, 15 and 18, and they are not as good at consideration for others
in the family as I am. I could be angry and resentful, or I can be accepting
and encouraging and facilitating.
Even if your 16 year old is not broke and stuck at home, I'm assuming the 12
and 9 year olds lack the means to go and buy more cookies with their own
money, while your husband is perfectly capable of doing so.
-=-I'm grown and they're not. The responsibility for creative and equitable
solutions is mine.-=-
When my kids are 15, 18 and 21, I will still be more mature than they are.
When they are 18, 21 and 24, I will still be more mature than they are.
At some point I'll be demented or dead, and I would like for their memories
of me not to involve me ranting about them being old enough to take equal
responsibility for other people's feelings and money isn't unlimited and why can't
you keep Dr Pepper in the fridge even though I can't manage to mysef, and blah
blah blah. I COULD do that. I choose not to. I choose not to for
conscious and carefully considered reasons.
So far, the results are excellent. I could raise my expectations to an
unreasonable point and then my results would be bad. Anyone who expects a child,
even a 16 year old child, to have all the sensib
Sandra
<< My kids are almost 16, 12, and 9. I think they are old enough to have
some consideration for others in the family, and old enough to realize that money
is not unlimited. >>
If what you think they should be able to do and what they can do don't match,
your choices are between doing things that make the situation better, and
doing things that make the situation worse.
Mine are 12, 15 and 18, and they are not as good at consideration for others
in the family as I am. I could be angry and resentful, or I can be accepting
and encouraging and facilitating.
Even if your 16 year old is not broke and stuck at home, I'm assuming the 12
and 9 year olds lack the means to go and buy more cookies with their own
money, while your husband is perfectly capable of doing so.
-=-I'm grown and they're not. The responsibility for creative and equitable
solutions is mine.-=-
When my kids are 15, 18 and 21, I will still be more mature than they are.
When they are 18, 21 and 24, I will still be more mature than they are.
At some point I'll be demented or dead, and I would like for their memories
of me not to involve me ranting about them being old enough to take equal
responsibility for other people's feelings and money isn't unlimited and why can't
you keep Dr Pepper in the fridge even though I can't manage to mysef, and blah
blah blah. I COULD do that. I choose not to. I choose not to for
conscious and carefully considered reasons.
So far, the results are excellent. I could raise my expectations to an
unreasonable point and then my results would be bad. Anyone who expects a child,
even a 16 year old child, to have all the sensib
Sandra
[email protected]
In a message dated 8/22/04 11:04:43 AM, SandraDodd@... writes:
<< So far, the results are excellent. I could raise my expectations to an
unreasonable point and then my results would be bad. Anyone who expects a
child,
even a 16 year old child, to have all the sensib >>
I was truncated! I hate when that happens.
Sorry.
So far, the results are excellent. I could raise my expectations to an
unreasonable point and then my results would be bad. Anyone who expects a
child,
even a 16 year old child, to have all the sensibilities of an adul will
probably see bad results on that.
I think that's what I had written.
Also, I notice up above I might seem to be saying, "Screw the dad, let him
buy his own." What I'm trying to agree with is the person who said to stash
some by and not expect the kids to save some for him. YOU save some for him.
You're the one with the greater understanding.
They can have freedom and your husband can have cookies. Just takes a little
motherly management.
Sandra
<< So far, the results are excellent. I could raise my expectations to an
unreasonable point and then my results would be bad. Anyone who expects a
child,
even a 16 year old child, to have all the sensib >>
I was truncated! I hate when that happens.
Sorry.
So far, the results are excellent. I could raise my expectations to an
unreasonable point and then my results would be bad. Anyone who expects a
child,
even a 16 year old child, to have all the sensibilities of an adul will
probably see bad results on that.
I think that's what I had written.
Also, I notice up above I might seem to be saying, "Screw the dad, let him
buy his own." What I'm trying to agree with is the person who said to stash
some by and not expect the kids to save some for him. YOU save some for him.
You're the one with the greater understanding.
They can have freedom and your husband can have cookies. Just takes a little
motherly management.
Sandra
Have a Nice Day!
I dont think my expectations are unreasonable. But now I'm thinking of other things besides food.
I think we have boundary issues here. But I'm at a loss as to how to "facilitate" respect for boundaries beyond what I"m already doing, which is to model it, and verbalize it, and try to keep each of the kids out of the other one's space.
What do you do when that isn't enough?
Kristen
I think we have boundary issues here. But I'm at a loss as to how to "facilitate" respect for boundaries beyond what I"m already doing, which is to model it, and verbalize it, and try to keep each of the kids out of the other one's space.
What do you do when that isn't enough?
Kristen
----- Original Message -----
From: SandraDodd@...
To: [email protected]
Sent: Sunday, August 22, 2004 9:27 AM
Subject: Re: [UnschoolingDiscussion] The cookies are gone
In a message dated 8/22/04 10:04:26 AM, litlrooh@... writes:
<< My kids are almost 16, 12, and 9. I think they are old enough to have
some consideration for others in the family, and old enough to realize that money
is not unlimited. >>
If what you think they should be able to do and what they can do don't match,
your choices are between doing things that make the situation better, and
doing things that make the situation worse.
Mine are 12, 15 and 18, and they are not as good at consideration for others
in the family as I am. I could be angry and resentful, or I can be accepting
and encouraging and facilitating.
Even if your 16 year old is not broke and stuck at home, I'm assuming the 12
and 9 year olds lack the means to go and buy more cookies with their own
money, while your husband is perfectly capable of doing so.
-=-I'm grown and they're not. The responsibility for creative and equitable
solutions is mine.-=-
When my kids are 15, 18 and 21, I will still be more mature than they are.
When they are 18, 21 and 24, I will still be more mature than they are.
At some point I'll be demented or dead, and I would like for their memories
of me not to involve me ranting about them being old enough to take equal
responsibility for other people's feelings and money isn't unlimited and why can't
you keep Dr Pepper in the fridge even though I can't manage to mysef, and blah
blah blah. I COULD do that. I choose not to. I choose not to for
conscious and carefully considered reasons.
So far, the results are excellent. I could raise my expectations to an
unreasonable point and then my results would be bad. Anyone who expects a child,
even a 16 year old child, to have all the sensib
Sandra
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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[email protected]
In a message dated 8/22/2004 11:11:05 AM Mountain Daylight Time,
litlrooh@... writes:
I think we have boundary issues here. But I'm at a loss as to how to
"facilitate" respect for boundaries beyond what I"m already doing, which is to model
it, and verbalize it, and try to keep each of the kids out of the other one's
space.
What do you do when that isn't enough?
----------------
How long have you been trying to make a change from control to freedoms?
I'm sure it's like deschooling, about a month per year.
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
litlrooh@... writes:
I think we have boundary issues here. But I'm at a loss as to how to
"facilitate" respect for boundaries beyond what I"m already doing, which is to model
it, and verbalize it, and try to keep each of the kids out of the other one's
space.
What do you do when that isn't enough?
----------------
How long have you been trying to make a change from control to freedoms?
I'm sure it's like deschooling, about a month per year.
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Have a Nice Day!
We've been "free" for about 2 years now...maybe longer.
The boundary issues have been going on since they were born.
Kristen
The boundary issues have been going on since they were born.
Kristen
----- Original Message -----
From: SandraDodd@...
To: [email protected]
Sent: Sunday, August 22, 2004 11:44 AM
Subject: Re: [UnschoolingDiscussion] The cookies are gone
In a message dated 8/22/2004 11:11:05 AM Mountain Daylight Time,
litlrooh@... writes:
I think we have boundary issues here. But I'm at a loss as to how to
"facilitate" respect for boundaries beyond what I"m already doing, which is to model
it, and verbalize it, and try to keep each of the kids out of the other one's
space.
What do you do when that isn't enough?
----------------
How long have you been trying to make a change from control to freedoms?
I'm sure it's like deschooling, about a month per year.
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Have a Nice Day!
I should make it clear I guess that the problems seem to be impulsive AND habitual.
The way they get into our things (mine and dh) is impulsive.
The way they relate to each other is habitual and spiteful.
Kristen
The way they get into our things (mine and dh) is impulsive.
The way they relate to each other is habitual and spiteful.
Kristen
----- Original Message -----
From: Have a Nice Day!
To: [email protected]
Sent: Sunday, August 22, 2004 1:51 PM
Subject: Re: [UnschoolingDiscussion] The cookies are gone
We've been "free" for about 2 years now...maybe longer.
The boundary issues have been going on since they were born.
Kristen
----- Original Message -----
From: SandraDodd@...
To: [email protected]
Sent: Sunday, August 22, 2004 11:44 AM
Subject: Re: [UnschoolingDiscussion] The cookies are gone
In a message dated 8/22/2004 11:11:05 AM Mountain Daylight Time,
litlrooh@... writes:
I think we have boundary issues here. But I'm at a loss as to how to
"facilitate" respect for boundaries beyond what I"m already doing, which is to model
it, and verbalize it, and try to keep each of the kids out of the other one's
space.
What do you do when that isn't enough?
----------------
How long have you been trying to make a change from control to freedoms?
I'm sure it's like deschooling, about a month per year.
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
"List Posting Policies" are provided in the files area of this group.
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