Kristina Hayes

Thanks for everyone's suggestions previously about my 4yo and spending
money, etc. Thought I'd share what we've done. Whenever we go to a craft
fair, store, etc., and I see something that my brain says, "That would be
easy to make!" I point it out to her as something she could make if she
wanted and sell at a craft fair or on my website, etc. She's liked a few of
the ideas but hasn't wanted to do it. Things like the pretty fluffy hair
ties (which she always wants to buy!) that are just ribbons knotted around
elastic with a few beads on the end. She's also thought about trying to
sell birthday cards to her grandparents.

We've also started a notebook in which she can gluepictures of, draw, or
write the things she wants. She's had a ton of fun looking through catalogs
and pasting pics into the notebook.

Now when she comes to me with a want, and I can't afford it, I can say, "You
should add that to your notebook!" and if she replies, "But I don't want to
wait so much to get it," I can suggest she earn some money. So far she's
said, "No thanks," but I don't feel guilty saying no anymore. I think if
she really wants something she has enough means to get it, and that she's
just having fun "wanting," the same way I have fun planning my dream home or
ogling embroidery machines with no real expectation of ever owning them.
:-)

Also reflected on the dance class issue some more, and don't feel so bad
about that either. My kids love to dance. So they can dance. Why should I
feel any more compelled to send them to dance class than to public (or
private) school? Morgaine is also starting to "get" saving for a home . she
has been acting out a lot lately, and when I ask her what's going on, she
says, "I just want some privacy," or expresses a need for personal space.
She spends a lot of time now planning for how she'll decorate her room when
she gets it. Fun . !

Kristi



Kristi Hayes

Mamatoto Advocate

GypsyMama.com

Joyful mama to Morgaine, Orion, and Isaac



"There are no great things, only small things with great love. Happy are
those." ~Mother Theresa









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In a message dated 7/13/2004 4:37:03 PM Mountain Daylight Time,
hayes@... writes:
Also reflected on the dance class issue some more, and don't feel so bad
about that either. My kids love to dance. So they can dance. Why should I
feel any more compelled to send them to dance class than to public (or
private) school?
===============

School isn't usually trying to get kids to do things together as a group,
except sports, theater and music.

"My kids love to sing, so they can sing."
Yeah, but not in four part harmony.

"My kids love to act, so they can act."
Some, yes, but not in a play with other people.

"My kids love to play instruments, so they can play."
One serious aspect of music is playing it with others.

Dance classes tend to organize choreography and group activities that a
person can't do all on her own

So the parallel to learning other things (like geography, or reading, or
math) doesn't hold for dance, in several ways.

Sandra


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