Tina

Hi, all! My name is Tina. I'm new to the group. I think
my "waiting period" is up, so I am eager to start picking your
brains. That is, of course, if you feel like sharing.

We are a combined family of seven children. They are as follows:

Tabitha, 18 - Public School Senior
Amy, 17 - Public School Senior
Tammi and Tracey, 16 - Public School Junior
Amie, 14 - Charter School 8th Grade
Andrew, 12 - Charter School 6th Grade
Adrian, 10 - Home School

I shared the above to give you a feel for the dynamics of our
family. It's a VERY long story...Amy, 17 and Adrian, 10 are my
biological children. I learned about homeschooling too late to start
with Amy, or so I thought. Right from the beginning, we knew that we
were going to home school Adrian due to the terrible school system.
We just didn't want to put another child in that system.

I've not figured out how to LEGALLY homeschool Amie and Andrew,
otherwise I would for sure. They actually request to be home
schooled. I do include them in our summer activities as learning is
a year long practice not devided into quarters and holidays.

I started homeschooling Adrian from the beginning and only made it
through to kindergarden as we thought the smart choice was to put our
three youngest in a highly acclaimed partnership school. Bad choice
there! Live and learn. Fortunately, I continuously educate myself.
After changes were made to the educational institution that we
enrolled them in we quickly figured out that it would not work for
our family. I pulled Adrian out after Christmas break in third grade.

Since that time I have read numerous books. I am a true book worm,
so this comes completely natural. I love research, so what better
topic? We started out very scheduled because that was what Adrian
wanted. Our lives continued to shift and change, so it warranted
change in our approach to education. Throughout our journey I have
learned more and more about the philosophy of unschooling.

We have instituted the philosophy of unschooling in our home this
year. So, needless to say it is VERY new to us. I understand and
agree with the philosophy to the best of my ability. I know it's a
journey and a process, especially given our history. We are
currently reading "I Learn Better by Teaching Myself" by Agnes
Leistico and plan to read the follow up book "Still Teaching
Ourselves" as soon as we finish this one. I thought it a good idea
for us to read it together. I wanted Adrian to have a little
understanding of what we were doing, and he absolutely loves to be
read to.

After all that, my question is this:

How do you make it through the boredom stage? Right now he doesn't
do a whole lot. When I ask him what he's interested in he
says, "Nothing." I know that eventually he will get into something,
but what is so called normal for this time period of adjustment? We
have made it through things that were difficult for me to not
interfere with like playing PS2 all day, everyday. I know and accept
that this is perfectly normal and acceptable in the unschooling
philosoply, but it goes against everything ingrained in our heads.
You know where I'm coming from.

I'm just wondering if anyone else has gone through this from a
similar situation. I'd love to hear how you and your children
adjusted as former institutional schoolers, to structured
homeschoolers, to unschooling.

I welcome your wisdom...

Tina

pam sorooshian

<<Hi, all! My name is Tina. I'm new to the group. I think
my "waiting period" is up, so I am eager to start picking your
brains. That is, of course, if you feel like sharing.

We are a combined family of seven children. They are as follows:

Tabitha, 18 - Public School Senior
Amy, 17 - Public School Senior
Tammi and Tracey, 16 - Public School Junior
Amie, 14 - Charter School 8th Grade
Andrew, 12 - Charter School 6th Grade
Adrian, 10 - Home School
>>
I've not figured out how to LEGALLY homeschool Amie and Andrew,
otherwise I would for sure. >>

Why can you not homeschool them legally? What state are you in?



<<<After all that, my question is this:

How do you make it through the boredom stage? Right now he doesn't
do a whole lot. When I ask him what he's interested in he
says, "Nothing." >>>

What is he ACTUALLY doing? Unless he is in a coma, he is actually doing
something. Are you waiting for him to do "educational" things?


<<I know that eventually he will get into something,
but what is so called normal for this time period of adjustment? >>

No adjustment necessary - just tell him he gets to be on summer
vacation all year round.


>>We
have made it through things that were difficult for me to not
interfere with like playing PS2 all day, everyday. I know and accept
that this is perfectly normal and acceptable in the unschooling
philosoply, but it goes against everything ingrained in our heads.
You know where I'm coming from.>>>

I'm having trouble knowing who you mean when you say "we" and "us" and
"our" and so on.

<<I'm just wondering if anyone else has gone through this from a
similar situation. I'd love to hear how you and your children
adjusted as former institutional schoolers, to structured
homeschoolers, to unschooling.>>

Not sure what you're going through. What is your son really doing? Is
he playing playstation and you're counting the minutes until he says,
"Mom, will you get that math book down for me?"


-pam

Fetteroll

on 5/6/04 7:40 PM, Tina at zoocrew@... wrote:

> How do you make it through the boredom stage? Right now he doesn't
> do a whole lot. When I ask him what he's interested in he
> says, "Nothing."

You say he's playing PS2 all day and also say he doesn't do a whole lot. So
what exactly is he doing? What games does he enjoy? What does he do when
he's not playing games?

> I know that eventually he will get into something,
> but what is so called normal for this time period of adjustment?

Depends on the child. Depends on what he needs to recover from. Depends on
what he has around him.

What else are you offering? What are you doing with him? Part of unschooling
is exposing them to the world and being with them. Sometimes being with them
means being available and being aware of their needs while giving them the
time and space to explore. Sometimes being with them means *being with them*
as in playing with them, watching TV with them, sharing your favorite shows
with them, listening to books on tape in the car with them, having
conversations, inviting them along to be with you while you do things around
the house.

Joyce

Tina

> I've not figured out how to LEGALLY homeschool Amie and Andrew,
> otherwise I would for sure. >>
> Why can you not homeschool them legally? What state are you in?


We are in Michigan. You have to be a biological parent. Not to
mention that biological mom is "out there," so it's just not an
option.


> <<<After all that, my question is this:
> How do you make it through the boredom stage? Right now he doesn't
> do a whole lot. When I ask him what he's interested in he
> says, "Nothing." >>>
>
> What is he ACTUALLY doing? Unless he is in a coma, he is actually
doing
> something. Are you waiting for him to do "educational" things?


No, I am not waiting for him to do something "educational." I'm just
waiting for him to do something that resembles more than laying
around. He has started to do more lately. He decided that he would
like to read more books. By that he means me read more to him which
I am perfectly comfortable with. I have not been sitting idly by
pining away at what he is or is not doing. I'm just observing with
honest curiosity as I go about my day which he is starting to
participate in more lately.



> I'm having trouble knowing who you mean when you say "we" and "us"
and "our" and so on.


By "we" and "us" I am referring to my son and myself. We are the
active participants in his day to day endeavors.


> Not sure what you're going through. What is your son really doing?
Is
> he playing playstation and you're counting the minutes until he
says,
> "Mom, will you get that math book down for me?"


No, I am not counting the minutes. I think I made it clear that I am
okay with him playing PS2. I'm referring to the boredom that he is
experiencing.

Thank you - Tina

Tina

> You say he's playing PS2 all day and also say he doesn't do a whole
lot. So what exactly is he doing? What games does he enjoy? What does
he do when he's not playing games?>

I think you misunderstood. He went through a stage where he played
PS2 all the time. He still plays PS2, but he does not play it all
day anymore. He has been spending some time outside lately.

> What else are you offering? What are you doing with him? Part of
unschooling is exposing them to the world and being with them.
Sometimes being with them means being available and being aware of
their needs while giving them the time and space to explore.
Sometimes being with them means *being with them* as in playing with
them, watching TV with them, sharing your favorite shows with them,
listening to books on tape in the car with them, having
conversations, inviting them along to be with you while you do things
around the house.>

I've been offering various books, opportunities to cook, he
participated in helping to plan a cooking class for local homeschool
kids that I offer once per month to a few local groups we belong to,
we talk a lot, read, watch History Channel (his choice, not mine),
etc. He has a lot of opportunities presented daily. There is no
lack of opportunity or myself. I am with him everyday and
available. I gues my concern is that he seems so "blah." I can't
really say one thing that he is excited about. I just want him to
have fun.

Please bear in mind that I am not forcing anything on him or
following him around expressing my concern. These are just my
thoughts from observing and participating in his day. I've read
about children going through "stages" where they aren't into much of
anything. I was just wondering in anyone else has experienced the
same thing with any of their children.

Thanks - Tina

[email protected]

In a message dated 5/10/04 5:06:43 AM, fetteroll@... writes:

<< > I know that eventually he will get into something,
> but what is so called normal for this time period of adjustment?

Depends on the child. Depends on what he needs to recover from. Depends on
what he has around him.
>>

So-called "normal" is one month for every month he was in school. So for a
child of (picking an age of random poster child) ten years, maybe he's been in
school for five or six years.

Meanwhile, back at the same ranch, he has a mom who probably went to school
for twelve to twenty years. So the child will be recovered from his school
years before the mom is, and she will need to keep working on it consciously, AND
at the same time work not to let her own school-brain and school years keep
him from enjoying his new awareness.

Sandra

Tina

Point well taken...

Tina

--- In [email protected], SandraDodd@a... wrote:
>
> In a message dated 5/10/04 5:06:43 AM, fetteroll@e... writes:
>
> << > I know that eventually he will get into something,
> > but what is so called normal for this time period of adjustment?
>
> Depends on the child. Depends on what he needs to recover from.
Depends on
> what he has around him.
> >>
>
> So-called "normal" is one month for every month he was in school.
So for a
> child of (picking an age of random poster child) ten years, maybe
he's been in
> school for five or six years.
>
> Meanwhile, back at the same ranch, he has a mom who probably went
to school
> for twelve to twenty years. So the child will be recovered from
his school
> years before the mom is, and she will need to keep working on it
consciously, AND
> at the same time work not to let her own school-brain and school
years keep
> him from enjoying his new awareness.
>
> Sandra

Alyce

--- In [email protected], "Tina" <zoocrew@w...>
wrote:

> No, I am not counting the minutes. I think I made it clear that I
am
> okay with him playing PS2. I'm referring to the boredom that he
is
> experiencing.
>
> Thank you - Tina

Hi Tina,

I'm jumping in a little late here, and am far from expert, but can
share a little bit of what has happened with us. I've only been
doing this 2 years... 1 1/2 years unschooling. The adjustment was
awkward and we initially had periods of boredom... I know what
you're talking about anyway. Initially when you're doing scheduled
stuff or whatnot, you don't have time to be bored but you sure have
time to be miserable. Suddenly, you have all this time to do what
you want and you just don't have a clue what in the world to do. So
accustomed to being told "do this, then that" etc. Is he fully
aware that he can really do almost anything he wants? When this
kicked in with my youngest (now almost 8) he spents weeks just
cutting paper up into little pieces and making a huge mess... but he
was content. Then the pieces began to take form... animals,
letters, etc. That's done now. :) He's finally "got it" that if
he comes up with an idea that's remotely doable (and most everything
is doable at least on some level...be creative), he can go for it.

He spent the first year at home taking everything apart - toys,
broken electronics, etc. I just supervised the screwdrivers, etc.
The last couple of months he's been building completely new things
out of all these random parts and having a good old time. He also
uses cardboard, books, shoes, cooking spoons, whatever, to build
roadways and garages, etc, for his toy cars... and cars are his
thing. He likes toys that are replicas of actual vehicles you'd see
on the road. He can spot a cadillac from 3 blocks away (one of his
faves)... followed by the late 60's mustang. lol... (more my speed
there)

He also spends a lot of time in the tree outside tying a rope in a
hundred different ways... creating some combo of an obstacle course
and additional climbing/navigating options... one day he asked for a
rope... we bought it... he's played with it til it's brown! It's
only been a few weeks. 1,000 different uses... that I never thought
of.

I guess I ask... does your son completely grasp that any idea that
he comes up with is an idea worth pursuing? Or is he still in
schooly mode where you can't cross those "lines" or make a mess? My
house is a perpetual mess of clay creations, parts of things that
were once whole... magazine clippings (my daughter - 14 spent the
entire day yesterday building a scrap book from magazine
clippings... she's taking a fashion design class and has suddenly
developed an interest in wedding planning!)


It's an adjustment, yes, I can speak to that. And we still have
times that I hear "I'm bored"... so I ask... if you could do
anything right now, what would it be? And from there we brainstorm
and build. :) "I'm bored" happens less and less often as time goes
by though.

I'm still plodding along myself. But maybe this can help?

Alyce

[email protected]

Tina wrote:
<<I'm just wondering if anyone else has gone through this from a
similar situation. I'd love to hear how you and your children
adjusted as former institutional schoolers, to structured
homeschoolers, to unschooling.>>


It was a years-long road and very bumpy for this former teacher with
a pretty domineering personality.


Quick recap - 3 children. Traditionally schooled and parented until
the oldest was going into 6th grade. School-at-home and traditional
parenting for the next 3 years. Oldest son goes back to ps in 9th
grade. Unschooling and traditional parenting for the next 3 - 4
years. Middle son goes back to ps in 9th grade. Unschooling and
mindful parenting last 2-3 years. Daughter not seriously considering
going to 9th grade - although she does mention it from time to time.


Unschooling didn't blossom until I stepped away from traditional
parenting.



BTW - older brothers' current advice to daughter this past
weekend - don't go to high school :-)


Mercedes
happily living with dd and dh and feeling lucky that ds's are
living together not too far away in Seattle. . . . .

Tina

Alyce

Thank you so much for sharing your experience. It's nice to hear
from someone who's "been there, done that." I don't know that he
fully grasps the concept, yet. We've both kind of been winging it.
I'm sure we'll get the hang of it sooner or later.

I like your suggestion of asking him what he would do if he could do
anything he wanted. I think I'll try that one out for size.

Thanks again for sharing...

Tina

--- In [email protected], "Alyce" <Groups@V...>
wrote:
> --- In [email protected], "Tina" <zoocrew@w...>
> wrote:
>
> > No, I am not counting the minutes. I think I made it clear that
I
> am
> > okay with him playing PS2. I'm referring to the boredom that he
> is
> > experiencing.
> >
> > Thank you - Tina
>
> Hi Tina,
>
> I'm jumping in a little late here, and am far from expert, but can
> share a little bit of what has happened with us. I've only been
> doing this 2 years... 1 1/2 years unschooling. The adjustment was
> awkward and we initially had periods of boredom... I know what
> you're talking about anyway. Initially when you're doing scheduled
> stuff or whatnot, you don't have time to be bored but you sure have
> time to be miserable. Suddenly, you have all this time to do what
> you want and you just don't have a clue what in the world to do.
So
> accustomed to being told "do this, then that" etc. Is he fully
> aware that he can really do almost anything he wants? When this
> kicked in with my youngest (now almost 8) he spents weeks just
> cutting paper up into little pieces and making a huge mess... but
he
> was content. Then the pieces began to take form... animals,
> letters, etc. That's done now. :) He's finally "got it" that if
> he comes up with an idea that's remotely doable (and most
everything
> is doable at least on some level...be creative), he can go for it.
>
> He spent the first year at home taking everything apart - toys,
> broken electronics, etc. I just supervised the screwdrivers, etc.
> The last couple of months he's been building completely new things
> out of all these random parts and having a good old time. He also
> uses cardboard, books, shoes, cooking spoons, whatever, to build
> roadways and garages, etc, for his toy cars... and cars are his
> thing. He likes toys that are replicas of actual vehicles you'd
see
> on the road. He can spot a cadillac from 3 blocks away (one of his
> faves)... followed by the late 60's mustang. lol... (more my speed
> there)
>
> He also spends a lot of time in the tree outside tying a rope in a
> hundred different ways... creating some combo of an obstacle course
> and additional climbing/navigating options... one day he asked for
a
> rope... we bought it... he's played with it til it's brown! It's
> only been a few weeks. 1,000 different uses... that I never
thought
> of.
>
> I guess I ask... does your son completely grasp that any idea that
> he comes up with is an idea worth pursuing? Or is he still in
> schooly mode where you can't cross those "lines" or make a mess?
My
> house is a perpetual mess of clay creations, parts of things that
> were once whole... magazine clippings (my daughter - 14 spent the
> entire day yesterday building a scrap book from magazine
> clippings... she's taking a fashion design class and has suddenly
> developed an interest in wedding planning!)
>
>
> It's an adjustment, yes, I can speak to that. And we still have
> times that I hear "I'm bored"... so I ask... if you could do
> anything right now, what would it be? And from there we brainstorm
> and build. :) "I'm bored" happens less and less often as time
goes
> by though.
>
> I'm still plodding along myself. But maybe this can help?
>
> Alyce

Tina

Thank you for sharing...

Tina

--- In [email protected], mulwiler@h... wrote:
> Tina wrote:
> <<I'm just wondering if anyone else has gone through this from a
> similar situation. I'd love to hear how you and your children
> adjusted as former institutional schoolers, to structured
> homeschoolers, to unschooling.>>
>
>
> It was a years-long road and very bumpy for this former teacher
with
> a pretty domineering personality.
>
>
> Quick recap - 3 children. Traditionally schooled and parented until
> the oldest was going into 6th grade. School-at-home and traditional
> parenting for the next 3 years. Oldest son goes back to ps in 9th
> grade. Unschooling and traditional parenting for the next 3 - 4
> years. Middle son goes back to ps in 9th grade. Unschooling and
> mindful parenting last 2-3 years. Daughter not seriously
considering
> going to 9th grade - although she does mention it from time to time.
>
>
> Unschooling didn't blossom until I stepped away from traditional
> parenting.
>
>
>
> BTW - older brothers' current advice to daughter this past
> weekend - don't go to high school :-)
>
>
> Mercedes
> happily living with dd and dh and feeling lucky that ds's are
> living together not too far away in Seattle. . . . .

pam sorooshian

On May 10, 2004, at 4:54 AM, Tina wrote:

> I think you misunderstood. He went through a stage where he played
> PS2 all the time. He still plays PS2, but he does not play it all
> day anymore. He has been spending some time outside lately.

Tina, I feel a little like we're dragging info out of you, a bit at a
time.

"He has been spending some time outside lately."
Doing what? Sitting on the porch looking at the clouds go by?
Skateboarding?

-pam
National Home Education Network
<www.NHEN.org>
Serving the entire homeschooling community since 1999
through information, networking and public relations.

Cally Brown

>
>
>So-called "normal" is one month for every month he was in school. So for a
>child of (picking an age of random poster child) ten years, maybe he's been in
>school for five or six years.
>
>Meanwhile, back at the same ranch, he has a mom who probably went to school
>for twelve to twenty years. So the child will be recovered from his school
>years before the mom is, and she will need to keep working on it consciously, AND
>at the same time work not to let her own school-brain and school years keep
>him from enjoying his new awareness.
>
Well, actually.....

I spent 15 years in school / university - and I'm now 52yo and STILL
working on it!! So, you see there's "normal" and there's those like me
that are not "normal' - but that's no reason for me to stop trying, stop
working on it. And there are those who take much less than what is
"normal" - lucky them.

Everyone is unique and has to find their own way. Adults and children.
If we are lucky we have a mother or a mentor like Sandra to help us
along our way, but even then there are those of us that find our way
more slowly. But that doesn't mean we are bad, or worse than others, or
in need of someone to tell us what to do. It just means we are taking
longer to learn to be at ease with our own selves.

Boredom and 'blah-ness' are not bad things, IMO. They happen when the
old way of being is (mostly) cleared out, and the new way of being is
still being found. It has happened again and again over the years for
me. I find an enthusiasm, a passion, for something and life is so
exciting. Then the enthusiasm disappears or fades to something less all
consuming, and I get bored, blah, and settle down to a period of 'doing
nothing' but reading indiscriminately, feeling blah blah, - then just
when I think that I'm going to be bored for the rest of my life, some
new, or revitalised passion enters my life.

If I am nagged to 'do things' it actually slows down the clearing out
period and so also delays the revitalisation process.

Cally

Julie Bogart

--- In [email protected], "Tina" <zoocrew@w...> wrote:


> >
> > Unschooling didn't blossom until I stepped away from traditional
> > parenting.


Wanted to ditto the above. Changing how we parent is what made unschooling blossom.

Julie B

Tina

Thanks for your input. I understand what you are saying. When I
think about it, I go through the same thing myself...

Tina

--- In [email protected], Cally Brown
<mjcmbrwn@i...> wrote:
> >
> >
> >So-called "normal" is one month for every month he was in school.
So for a
> >child of (picking an age of random poster child) ten years, maybe
he's been in
> >school for five or six years.
> >
> >Meanwhile, back at the same ranch, he has a mom who probably went
to school
> >for twelve to twenty years. So the child will be recovered from
his school
> >years before the mom is, and she will need to keep working on it
consciously, AND
> >at the same time work not to let her own school-brain and school
years keep
> >him from enjoying his new awareness.
> >
> Well, actually.....
>
> I spent 15 years in school / university - and I'm now 52yo and
STILL
> working on it!! So, you see there's "normal" and there's those
like me
> that are not "normal' - but that's no reason for me to stop trying,
stop
> working on it. And there are those who take much less than what is
> "normal" - lucky them.
>
> Everyone is unique and has to find their own way. Adults and
children.
> If we are lucky we have a mother or a mentor like Sandra to help us
> along our way, but even then there are those of us that find our
way
> more slowly. But that doesn't mean we are bad, or worse than
others, or
> in need of someone to tell us what to do. It just means we are
taking
> longer to learn to be at ease with our own selves.
>
> Boredom and 'blah-ness' are not bad things, IMO. They happen when
the
> old way of being is (mostly) cleared out, and the new way of being
is
> still being found. It has happened again and again over the years
for
> me. I find an enthusiasm, a passion, for something and life is so
> exciting. Then the enthusiasm disappears or fades to something
less all
> consuming, and I get bored, blah, and settle down to a period
of 'doing
> nothing' but reading indiscriminately, feeling blah blah, - then
just
> when I think that I'm going to be bored for the rest of my life,
some
> new, or revitalised passion enters my life.
>
> If I am nagged to 'do things' it actually slows down the clearing
out
> period and so also delays the revitalisation process.
>
> Cally

Alyce

Ditto ditto. :) There's that too.

--- In [email protected], "Julie Bogart"
<julie@b...> wrote:
> --- In [email protected], "Tina"
<zoocrew@w...> wrote:
>
>
> > >
> > > Unschooling didn't blossom until I stepped away from
traditional
> > > parenting.
>
>
> Wanted to ditto the above. Changing how we parent is what made
unschooling blossom.
>
> Julie B

[email protected]

In a message dated 5/10/2004 11:32:20 AM Eastern Daylight Time,
zoocrew@... writes:
No, I am not waiting for him to do something "educational." I'm just
waiting for him to do something that resembles more than laying
around. <<<<

He's healing. Let him lie around. He needs it. When he's ready, when he's
healed, he'll start doing so much you won't be able to keep up.

Patience. Patience. Patience.

~Kelly


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

[email protected]

In a message dated 5/10/2004 3:31:37 PM Eastern Daylight Time,
zoocrew@... writes:
> What else are you offering? What are you doing with him? Part of
unschooling is exposing them to the world and being with them.
Sometimes being with them means being available and being aware of
their needs while giving them the time and space to explore.
Sometimes being with them means *being with them* as in playing with
them, watching TV with them, sharing your favorite shows with them,
listening to books on tape in the car with them, having
conversations, inviting them along to be with you while you do things
around the house.>

I've been offering various books, opportunities to cook, he
participated in helping to plan a cooking class for local homeschool
kids that I offer once per month to a few local groups we belong to,
we talk a lot, read, watch History Channel (his choice, not mine),
etc. He has a lot of opportunities presented daily. There is no
lack of opportunity or myself. I am with him everyday and
available. I gues my concern is that he seems so "blah." I can't
really say one thing that he is excited about. I just want him to
have fun.<<<<<


*MY* question is: What are YOU doing?

I'm a busy girl myself. Sometimes the boys are just along for the ride.

I'm not hosting the conference this year, so I've had a bit more free time!
<g> I got two bee hives two weeks ago---I'm a beekeeper! We just got back from
the Lake Eden Arts Festival---three days of art and music and food and
peaceful people sharing a mountain top. We picked up our new guide dog puppy this
morning---a nine week old vizsla puppy named Ryan. I just finished planting my
vegetable garden. I am GOING to finish tiling the upstairs bathroom that I
started last summer! <bwg>

The boys enjoy watching the bees, loved LEAF, can't stop snuggling the new
pup, will devour the tomatoes and beans from the garden (they'll weed a little
bit too), and will be delighted to have a working toilet and tub in their
bathroom!

It's life----be busy! It'll rub off on the children!

~Kelly


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Tina

I know...I know...

:):)

Thank you - Tina

--- In [email protected], kbcdlovejo@a... wrote:
> In a message dated 5/10/2004 11:32:20 AM Eastern Daylight Time,
> zoocrew@w... writes:
> No, I am not waiting for him to do something "educational." I'm
just
> waiting for him to do something that resembles more than laying
> around. <<<<
>
> He's healing. Let him lie around. He needs it. When he's ready,
when he's
> healed, he'll start doing so much you won't be able to keep up.
>
> Patience. Patience. Patience.
>
> ~Kelly
>
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Tina

I don't know that I could be busier. The hard part about where he is
right now for me is that he wants me to watch movies with him. Once
I stop moving I get SO sleepy that I fall asleep during the movie.
Also, it's VERY hard for me to sit there and do nothing while we're
watching it. I need to be doing something. Even when I'm watching
television I am reading, making a list, drawing (on those rare
moments with MY American Girl kit :), planning something, doing the
bills, etc. He doesn't like it if I don't pay attention to the movie
with him.

I took him to the Mt. Clemens Craft Show on the spur of the moment
last Friday. I included him in the planning of our next cooking
class, tomorrow. He planned Mexican food, his favorite and helped me
shop for the ingredients that we need. It's hard to keep his
attention for too long, but at least he's showing SOME interest.

When he's at his dad's house he has started writing comics. I've not
seen any yet, and it's only been one time, but maybe there's
something to that. He does have a lot of adult interaction in his
life, but not a lot of child interaction. That does bother me
sometimes, but I don't know that it's really a big deal.

Anyway, I think I got a little off there. I think the key for me is
to notice what WE are doing TOGETHER. Am I getting that right?

Thanks - Tina

--- In [email protected], kbcdlovejo@a... wrote:
> In a message dated 5/10/2004 3:31:37 PM Eastern Daylight Time,
> zoocrew@w... writes:
> > What else are you offering? What are you doing with him? Part of
> unschooling is exposing them to the world and being with them.
> Sometimes being with them means being available and being aware of
> their needs while giving them the time and space to explore.
> Sometimes being with them means *being with them* as in playing
with
> them, watching TV with them, sharing your favorite shows with them,
> listening to books on tape in the car with them, having
> conversations, inviting them along to be with you while you do
things
> around the house.>
>
> I've been offering various books, opportunities to cook, he
> participated in helping to plan a cooking class for local
homeschool
> kids that I offer once per month to a few local groups we belong
to,
> we talk a lot, read, watch History Channel (his choice, not mine),
> etc. He has a lot of opportunities presented daily. There is no
> lack of opportunity or myself. I am with him everyday and
> available. I gues my concern is that he seems so "blah." I can't
> really say one thing that he is excited about. I just want him to
> have fun.<<<<<
>
>
> *MY* question is: What are YOU doing?
>
> I'm a busy girl myself. Sometimes the boys are just along for the
ride.
>
> I'm not hosting the conference this year, so I've had a bit more
free time!
> <g> I got two bee hives two weeks ago---I'm a beekeeper! We just
got back from
> the Lake Eden Arts Festival---three days of art and music and food
and
> peaceful people sharing a mountain top. We picked up our new guide
dog puppy this
> morning---a nine week old vizsla puppy named Ryan. I just finished
planting my
> vegetable garden. I am GOING to finish tiling the upstairs bathroom
that I
> started last summer! <bwg>
>
> The boys enjoy watching the bees, loved LEAF, can't stop snuggling
the new
> pup, will devour the tomatoes and beans from the garden (they'll
weed a little
> bit too), and will be delighted to have a working toilet and tub in
their
> bathroom!
>
> It's life----be busy! It'll rub off on the children!
>
> ~Kelly
>
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

pam sorooshian

On May 10, 2004, at 5:04 PM, Tina wrote:

> The hard part about where he is
> right now for me is that he wants me to watch movies with him. Once
> I stop moving I get SO sleepy that I fall asleep during the movie.
> Also, it's VERY hard for me to sit there and do nothing while we're
> watching it. I need to be doing something. Even when I'm watching
> television I am reading, making a list, drawing (on those rare
> moments with MY American Girl kit :), planning something, doing the
> bills, etc. He doesn't like it if I don't pay attention to the movie
> with him.

Craft shows and cooking just are so NOT likely to be thrilling to him,
unless he's very unusual. Sounds like he's pretty darn good-natured and
willing to have an okay time anyway, but ....

Sounds also like what he needs from you is for you to get more sleep
and be prepared to watch lots of movies for a while. Movies are very
very commonly a strong interest at his age, by the way, and having
someone to watch with who really WATCHES and is there for talking about
the movie later, is often really important.

I'm also a "do something else" kind of person when it comes to TV. But
I have learned to put away my other stuff and watch movies with my
family - it seems important and talking about movies is the opening for
so very very much interesting dialog with my teenagers.

And, Tina, I confess that I DO still pretty often fall asleep, just
like you described, when I slow down and the lights are low and we're
"doing nothing but" watching something on the tv/a movie. But my
teenaged kids have teenaged siblings and a father who LOVES movies so
they aren't relying as much on me. And I make an extra effort to watch
the movies that it seems like they really want me to watch with them.

Do you have some other kids close to his age who could start up a
"movie night?" Let them pick the movies, parents take turns providing
pizza and sodas and popcorn. Make it a weekly or every-other-week
event. Maybe somebody has a big-screen. Or maybe you could see if a
small movie theater in town will open up early and show a movie to
homeschoolers. Or maybe you could just make a regular "movie time" for
homeschoolers to meet at a theater. Or, join Netflix and let him create
the movie queue - reading reviews and rating movies he's seen in order
to get Netflix's individualized recommendations. Start watching movies
on a theme - an event or time period in history, or about dogs, or
about polar adventures or a particular writer or director's movies or
foreign movies or indy movies. Start a blog about movies you've
watched together and both of you write a little blurb about what you
liked (or didn't like) about each. Or .... lots of possibilities.

If he's interested in movies and in you watching with him, then THAT is
what you have to support. You can't just wait for that interest to
pass, hoping that a new interest that suits you better will take its
place.

You build his enthusiasm by supporting what he is interested in.

-pam
National Home Education Network
<www.NHEN.org>
Serving the entire homeschooling community since 1999
through information, networking and public relations.

Tina

I'm hearing a lot of "that just doesn't sound interesting" here.
What is being forgotten is that this IS what he is interested in.
The one thing that he says every year that he wants to do is COOK.
He likes it.

As far as the craft show goes, he did enjoy that too. The reason I
decided to stop was because it's FREE EXPOSURE to MANY different
styles of art. Art is something he has been exploring, and I thought
it may be fun to see just how creative people can be. Plus, he is
really into money, so he was interested in how much everything cost.
We didn't linger. In fact we only spent about a half hour there.
(On the contrary, I went back the next day with a friend and spent
four hours there:) He enjoyed the REAL wildlife photography, stained
glass art, wood working and cool yard stuff made from tools.

I really appreciate your suggestions on the movie watching. That's a
wonderful idea. As far as more sleep goes, not likely. :) If you
read my introduction, you may understand...

I'm definately taking the suggestion on setting something up on a
regular basis. That a great idea. Also, I have been thinking about
looking into the NetFlix thing, so that may be an option as well.

Thanks for the great ideas!

Tina


--- In [email protected], pam sorooshian
<pamsoroosh@m...> wrote:
>
> On May 10, 2004, at 5:04 PM, Tina wrote:
>
> > The hard part about where he is
> > right now for me is that he wants me to watch movies with him.
Once
> > I stop moving I get SO sleepy that I fall asleep during the movie.
> > Also, it's VERY hard for me to sit there and do nothing while
we're
> > watching it. I need to be doing something. Even when I'm
watching
> > television I am reading, making a list, drawing (on those rare
> > moments with MY American Girl kit :), planning something, doing
the
> > bills, etc. He doesn't like it if I don't pay attention to the
movie
> > with him.
>
> Craft shows and cooking just are so NOT likely to be thrilling to
him,
> unless he's very unusual. Sounds like he's pretty darn good-natured
and
> willing to have an okay time anyway, but ....
>
> Sounds also like what he needs from you is for you to get more
sleep
> and be prepared to watch lots of movies for a while. Movies are
very
> very commonly a strong interest at his age, by the way, and having
> someone to watch with who really WATCHES and is there for talking
about
> the movie later, is often really important.
>
> I'm also a "do something else" kind of person when it comes to TV.
But
> I have learned to put away my other stuff and watch movies with my
> family - it seems important and talking about movies is the opening
for
> so very very much interesting dialog with my teenagers.
>
> And, Tina, I confess that I DO still pretty often fall asleep, just
> like you described, when I slow down and the lights are low and
we're
> "doing nothing but" watching something on the tv/a movie. But my
> teenaged kids have teenaged siblings and a father who LOVES movies
so
> they aren't relying as much on me. And I make an extra effort to
watch
> the movies that it seems like they really want me to watch with
them.
>
> Do you have some other kids close to his age who could start up a
> "movie night?" Let them pick the movies, parents take turns
providing
> pizza and sodas and popcorn. Make it a weekly or every-other-week
> event. Maybe somebody has a big-screen. Or maybe you could see if a
> small movie theater in town will open up early and show a movie to
> homeschoolers. Or maybe you could just make a regular "movie time"
for
> homeschoolers to meet at a theater. Or, join Netflix and let him
create
> the movie queue - reading reviews and rating movies he's seen in
order
> to get Netflix's individualized recommendations. Start watching
movies
> on a theme - an event or time period in history, or about dogs, or
> about polar adventures or a particular writer or director's movies
or
> foreign movies or indy movies. Start a blog about movies you've
> watched together and both of you write a little blurb about what
you
> liked (or didn't like) about each. Or .... lots of possibilities.
>
> If he's interested in movies and in you watching with him, then
THAT is
> what you have to support. You can't just wait for that interest to
> pass, hoping that a new interest that suits you better will take
its
> place.
>
> You build his enthusiasm by supporting what he is interested in.
>
> -pam
> National Home Education Network
> <www.NHEN.org>
> Serving the entire homeschooling community since 1999
> through information, networking and public relations.

[email protected]

In a message dated 5/10/04 6:19:27 PM, zoocrew@... writes:

<< The hard part about where he is

right now for me is that he wants me to watch movies with him. Once

I stop moving I get SO sleepy that I fall asleep during the movie.

Also, it's VERY hard for me to sit there and do nothing while we're

watching it. I need to be doing something. Even when I'm watching

television I am reading, making a list, drawing (on those rare

moments with MY American Girl kit :), planning something, doing the

bills, etc. He doesn't like it if I don't pay attention to the movie

with him. >>

Have you tried watching movies in the mornings or at lunchtime?

My best things to do while watching movies (so that I can still pay
attention) are sorting and folding laundry, and splitting kindling. We're off season
for that latter one.

-=-I took him to the Mt. Clemens Craft Show on the spur of the moment

last Friday. -=-

If he likes that sort of thing that was good. If he felt like his mom took
him to a girlie (or old lady) thing, it's not as good.

-=- I think the key for me is

to notice what WE are doing TOGETHER. Am I getting that right?-=-

Insufficient data.
Maybe it's a key, or a puzzle part, but it's not THE key.

Sandra

[email protected]

In a message dated 5/10/04 6:52:34 PM, zoocrew@... writes:

<< I'm hearing a lot of "that just doesn't sound interesting" here.

What is being forgotten is that this IS what he is interested in. >>

We can't forget what we don't know.

Please try not to criticize the feedback. Be as clear as you can be in the
first place, then take what you like and leave the rest.

Be analytical, and inquire and all, but to suggest we forgot something you
never told us won't carry the matter forward.

-=-As far as more sleep goes, not likely. :) If you

read my introduction, you may understand...-=-

Another suggestion on carrying matters forward: People join every day. Keep
your information current and understandable to people who've just joined. I
can't assume everyone knows Kirby is 17. I keep reminding people, because I
have no idea who's reading.

Sandra

pam sorooshian

Tina,

You started off here by saying your son says he is bored and that he
isn't interested in anything. You wanted to know how long it takes and
how to get through that period of adjustment until he gets into
something.

But now you're saying that he IS interested in things. And you keep
talking about things he's been interested in and things he is exploring
(like saying "Art is something he has been exploring.)

So - can you once maybe try, in the light of what has been talked about
here, to re-explain what your question really is? He's not bored,
right? He's interested in lots of different things. You do things
together that he likes. He's enthusiastic about the things you take him
to, like the crafts show. He likes to cook. He likes you to read to
him. He likes to watch movies.

Maybe you're a type A personality and he's not? Maybe you're just
expecting him to be super busy like you are? Maybe he's more laid back
and is satisfied with what's already going on in his life? Maybe it is
you who is not satisfied with him?

Whatever the situation, though, "Support his interests" and "Put your
focus on his strengths, not weaknesses you perceive in him," will still
apply.

-pam

[email protected]

In a message dated 5/10/04 7:22:14 PM, pamsoroosh@... writes:

<< So - can you once maybe try, in the light of what has been talked about
here, to re-explain what your question really is? >>

Maybe you don't need to.
It's quite possible and common for new unschoolers not to even know what
their early questions are.

Maybe you should just read here and think about it a lot more, and only post
when you have a clearly formed question or something new to share.

Thanks.

Sandra

Tina

<You started off here by saying your son says he is bored and that he
isn't interested in anything. You wanted to know how long it takes
and how to get through that period of adjustment until he gets into
something.

But now you're saying that he IS interested in things. And you keep
talking about things he's been interested in and things he is
exploring (like saying "Art is something he has been exploring.)

So - can you once maybe try, in the light of what has been talked
about here, to re-explain what your question really is? He's not
bored, right? He's interested in lots of different things. You do
things together that he likes. He's enthusiastic about the things
you take him to, like the crafts show. He likes to cook. He likes you
to read to him. He likes to watch movies.>


Okay, let me try again. He told me himself that he is bored. I use
the term "interested" loosely. When we talk about what he is
interested in conversations he always wants to do more with cooking.
That's not to say that he's doing much with it. I try to keep
opportunity available so that he has opportunity to do what he says
he's interested in.

As far as "exploring art" goes. He has begun an interest in comics.
He's not been too artistically inclined for about a year or more. He
got a little discouraged by two of our other childen's natural
ability budding. He is a perfectionist and doesn't want to do
anything he can't do perfectly. That comes into play with the art.

That's the beauty of a list like this. Maybe it took me "talking" to
you all to realize that there are things that spark his interest.
He's just not really into anything, and maybe it bothers me to see
him so blah so often. I remember reading that children in this
situation go through that and that it's normal. That is the reason I
posted about it. I thought it would be encouraging to hear what
others have been through in similar situations.

Since we have been discussing this topic he has been a bit more
active. He's not laying around as much. He's no longer wandering
around aimlessly with a blank expression on his face. It has been
about a week now since I posted, and it had been going on for quite
some time.


<Maybe you're a type A personality and he's not? Maybe you're just
expecting him to be super busy like you are? Maybe he's more laid
back and is satisfied with what's already going on in his life? Maybe
it is you who is not satisfied with him?>


I never did retain all that personality information when I checked it
out years ago. :) Maybe there's something to that. He is very laid
back and doesn't like to be overstimulated. He's more of a one on
one person, as am I. I like a slower pace, but life doesn't allow
right now. It's my ultimate goal in life to SLOW DOWN...


<Whatever the situation, though, "Support his interests" and "Put
your focus on his strengths, not weaknesses you perceive in him,"
will still apply.>


That is exactly what I am trying to do.

Thanks - Tina

TreeGoddess

On May 10, 2004, at 8:41 PM, Tina wrote:

> Also, I have been thinking about looking into the NetFlix thing, so
> that may be an option as well.

Hi, Tina! I'm in the Macomb HS group with you though we've not yet met
IRL. LOL My youngest sister goes to high school with your DDs.

I just wanted to chime in on Netflix....I signed up for this service a
few months back and LOVE it. There's a distribution center in Lansing
so the turn around for movies in our area of MI is very quick. Expect
a movie to arrive w/in 2 days (not including Sundays, of course). When
I send a movie back they usually get it the very next day and send the
next movie out later that same day.

Try it out for 14 days free and cancel if you don't like it. I don't
think you'll be disappointed though. HTH and hope to meet you soon.
:)

-Tracy-

Tina

Tracy

What a small world! I have recognized a few of the screen names
here. Thanks for the input on the NetFlix. I've not heard one bad
review of the service yet. I know you are very happy with it. What
I'm wondering is if you find it financially reasonable. We typically
get our movies and games from Family Video, and it's difficult to
beat their prices. Well, unless it's the library. It's hard to beat
free! :):)

Thanks - Tina

--- In [email protected], TreeGoddess
<treegoddess@c...> wrote:
> On May 10, 2004, at 8:41 PM, Tina wrote:
>
> > Also, I have been thinking about looking into the NetFlix thing,
so
> > that may be an option as well.
>
> Hi, Tina! I'm in the Macomb HS group with you though we've not yet
met
> IRL. LOL My youngest sister goes to high school with your DDs.
>
> I just wanted to chime in on Netflix....I signed up for this
service a
> few months back and LOVE it. There's a distribution center in
Lansing
> so the turn around for movies in our area of MI is very quick.
Expect
> a movie to arrive w/in 2 days (not including Sundays, of course).
When
> I send a movie back they usually get it the very next day and send
the
> next movie out later that same day.
>
> Try it out for 14 days free and cancel if you don't like it. I
don't
> think you'll be disappointed though. HTH and hope to meet you
soon.
> :)
>
> -Tracy-

TreeGoddess

Pros of Netflix for us:

* No due dates or late fees -- my kids like to watch a movie over and
over and over and we're able to do that without anyone getting upset
because it's due back on a certain day. We keep it out as long as we
want.

* I don't really like to wander around the video store looking for a
movie to see and then get bummed out that it's out after all that.

* I can surf Netflix's web site 24/7.

* No need to venture out in a Michigan winter to return the movies.
Just pop them back into the postage-paid return envelope and put them
in my mail box.

* You can set up a "Queue" for your account and when you return a DVD
they'll send you the next one on your list automatically. No having to
remember the name of the movie that you wanted to rent, but it wasn't
at the video store. Just put it in your queue and you'll get it
eventually. ;) You can add up to 500 movies and are able to delete
and rearrange them any time.

I think that the service is great and it's only $20 per month. We'd
end up paying more than that in late fees if we rented as many movies
as we do from Movie Mania or another local chain. All I can say is
give it a try with their 14 day free trail. If you think it isn't
worth it you just need to cancel your account. :) HTH
-Tracy-

On May 10, 2004, at 10:43 PM, Tina wrote:

> What I'm wondering is if you find it financially reasonable. We
> typically
> get our movies and games from Family Video, and it's difficult to
> beat their prices. Well, unless it's the library. It's hard to beat
> free! :):)