Diamondlady1025

Hi Sandra and Hi Everyone!

I have a question to ask about unschooling and discipline.....

What are your views with which what is the best form of discipline to use or
not use with your child while unschooling?

I ask this because lately while visiting with a few of what is left of our
schooled" friends (My middles son in particular is having trouble "letting
go" of his one last "schooled friend" David) I noticed that their mother
when they got into trouble would spank them and send them to the corner. Now
me personally, I do not believe in that and never have because I do not
believe in shaming a child into compliance, I always treat my childre3n with
respect and do not really consider this an effective way of being with
children......so I was curious as to your views on this Sandra and everyone
and as to what if anything I should say to her. She is considering
homeschooling and I have been speaking to her about unschooling as of late,
but the happening of this type of discipline the other day at her house just
really upset both me and my kids, as that is not how I treat my children, so
I was wondering what everyone's thoughts were on the matter?

And Sandra, do you have any info about this very subject on your website
that I might be able to refer her to?

Thanks so much for the help! :)
Patti and the boys (Unschoolers Chris 12, Matthew 7, Anthony 6)

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Diamondlady1025

Hi it's me again!

Opps! I forgot to clarify something in my last post......

What I meant to say was that my girlfriend was using this form of discipline
on HER children while my kids and I watched, not her doing this to my
children. When I re-read my post, it did not sound right, so I wanted to
clarify it! :)

Thanks,
Patti and the boys (Unschoolers Chris 12, Matthew 7, Anthony 6)

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

[email protected]

In a message dated 4/18/04 2:43:20 PM, Diamondlady1025@... writes:

<< And Sandra, do you have any info about this very subject on your website
that I might be able to refer her to? >>

First things first. <g>

http://sandradodd.com/spanking

(lots of links to better ideas)

and a confession of me being a less-aware, younger mom, and swatting Marty:
http://sandradodd.com/zeneverything

-=-What are your views with which what is the best form of discipline to use
or
not use with your child while unschooling?-=-

I just talk to them.

Not "just" talk to them, but the principles of keeping kids safe in their own
home extends to all of the kids. So if Holly is harrassing Marty, I want to
arrange for Marty to have some Holly-free space, but I don't want to turn
around and disturb Holly's peace. (That example is fresh as it's happened twice
in two days that I had to extract Holly from Marty-space.)

-=-so I was curious as to your views on this Sandra and everyone
and as to what if anything I should say to her.-=-

That's a rough one. Depends how much you want to maintain the friendship. I
would probably write her a letter and give to her in writing so she can't
interrupt or explain away or misinterpret what you said to her. I think I
would lean on the idea that it's upsetting for your son to see it, and maybe she
could just avoid it, especially if your son's presence had anything to do with
it. (Like if she's being tough on her kids for his sake, somehow; not
thinking of a good way to say what I'm imagining.)

Sandra

diamondlady1025

Thank you Sandra for the website info and for the suggestion. You
are right a letter might be best in this case. I would like to try
and still be friends with her especially since she is still weighing
the unschooling issue herself for her kids and herself.

But you are right, I do not value this type of behavior being shown
in front of me or my kids, so I think a leter to her might just work
and also giving her the website info too, that just may open her
eyes to see when spanking and sending your child to the corner just
is wrong and why and that there are many many other effective ways
to handle it. The website info has been a great help, I have been
reading it off and on all day! :) I even joined Pam's No spanking
yahoo group too! Did not know she had one! :)

Thanks for the websites again and if anyone else has any other ideas
too, please let me know. I am open to any and all suggestions.

Thanks,
Patti and the boys (Unschoolers Chris 12, Matthew 7, Anthony 6)

--- In [email protected], SandraDodd@a... wrote:
>
> In a message dated 4/18/04 2:43:20 PM, Diamondlady1025@h... writes:
>
> << And Sandra, do you have any info about this very subject on
your website
> that I might be able to refer her to? >>
>
> First things first. <g>
>
> http://sandradodd.com/spanking
>
> (lots of links to better ideas)
>
> and a confession of me being a less-aware, younger mom, and
swatting Marty:
> http://sandradodd.com/zeneverything
>
> -=-What are your views with which what is the best form of
discipline to use
> or
> not use with your child while unschooling?-=-
>
> I just talk to them.
>
> Not "just" talk to them, but the principles of keeping kids safe
in their own
> home extends to all of the kids. So if Holly is harrassing Marty,
I want to
> arrange for Marty to have some Holly-free space, but I don't want
to turn
> around and disturb Holly's peace. (That example is fresh as it's
happened twice
> in two days that I had to extract Holly from Marty-space.)
>
> -=-so I was curious as to your views on this Sandra and everyone
> and as to what if anything I should say to her.-=-
>
> That's a rough one. Depends how much you want to maintain the
friendship. I
> would probably write her a letter and give to her in writing so
she can't
> interrupt or explain away or misinterpret what you said to her.
I think I
> would lean on the idea that it's upsetting for your son to see it,
and maybe she
> could just avoid it, especially if your son's presence had
anything to do with
> it. (Like if she's being tough on her kids for his sake, somehow;
not
> thinking of a good way to say what I'm imagining.)
>
> Sandra