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In a message dated 4/2/2004 10:52:20 PM Eastern Standard Time,
cen46624@... writes:
<<what would families that have
different colors prefer to hear?>>


I have pale *white* skin and my kids have medium brown skin...they take after
their father, not me. Because we're divorced we're rarely seen together as a
family...it's usually the kids and me. I never mind when kids ask questions!
The usual one being, "How come your kids are a different color that
you?"...directed at me, or "How come your mom's white?"...directed at one of the kids.
We usually just say that families can have all different colors, and
sometimes the kids seem a bit shocked, and we're glad to have *expanded their
universe.*

What I don't like is when adults assume that I'm not their mom or even don't
believe that I'm their mom after I've corrected them! Children never make
this mistake. They can always tell who the *mom* is! <g>

--Jacqueline


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pam sorooshian

On Apr 3, 2004, at 5:36 AM, ivorygrace7@... wrote:

> What I don't like is when adults assume that I'm not their mom or even
> don't
> believe that I'm their mom after I've corrected them! Children never
> make
> this mistake. They can always tell who the *mom* is! <g>

Two of my three kids are light-skinned and light-eyed like me (except
they get a tan and I just don't) and nobody doubts they are mine. But
Roxana is Iranian-looking, dark-haired and dark-eyed. MANY times people
said very rude things in front of her. Grocer store checkers were the
worst offenders, asking, "Those two are yours but where did you get
this one?"

An answer I eventually started using (for my daughter's sake) was: "On
the outside she takes after the gorgeous women in her dad's family, but
she looks JUST like me, on the inside."

I never minded honest questions, really, but I did hate the rude things
people said that embarrassed Roxana and made her feel there was
something wrong with being darker or just different than her sisters.

If they quietly asked me something, that was better, but, it isn't any
business of a perfect stranger to find out why my middle daughter might
look different than her sisters, so any questions by strangers are
rude, imo.

-pam
National Home Education Network
<www.NHEN.org>
Serving the entire homeschooling community since 1999
through information, networking and public relations.

SHERRY LANGEVIN

Yes, I agree with whoever said, "just tell kids who ask that 'God made people in different colors', that's what I have done, too. . . As far as making any of my family members uncomfortable because they're different shades than I am, that's not happened. Yes I let them know that they're themselves and I wouldn't change them, and I welcome the 'diversity' that they bring.

Childrens remarks dont bother me. When my youngest was newborn, and I'd take both kids somewhere, and could hear kids asking their moms about my kids, the ones I appreciated were the moms who would say, 'look how lucky they are! They have a beautiful baby, and that little girl has new baby sister!' This was great for me, because my first child had jealousy issues at first, and when she'd hear that stuff, I think it made her realize that siblings could be a good thing.
.....they quietly asked me something, that was better, but, it isn't any
business of a perfect stranger to find out why my middle daughter might
look different than her sisters, so any questions by strangers are
rude, imo.

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