J. Stauffer

<<We have an open bed policy>>

This is us. None of the kids have slept with us on a consistent basis.
Some of them have NEVER come in, some do if they had a bad dream or
whatever. Zach, now 10, just brings his bedding and sleeps in the floor of
our room if he feels a need to be close.

Julie S.
----- Original Message -----
From: "Danielle E. Conger" <danielle.conger@...>
To: <[email protected]>
Sent: Wednesday, December 31, 2003 6:49 AM
Subject: Re: [UnschoolingDiscussion] Co-sleeping was unschooling and potty
training


> All mine slept with me through most of their first year. Made it so easy
> with the nursing--never had to wake up. All those other mothers dragging
> around, complaining. Not me! There was always another one on the heals (my
> kids are 17 months apart), so they moved into their own room. My first and
> third both wanted to sleep alone at that point--they would wake up crying.
> I suspect it was dh's snoring. <LOL> The middle one was the only one who
> probably would still be sleeping with us, but she moved in with her older
> sister. We got them bunk beds about 9 mos. ago, but they chose to both
> sleep in the top together. Go figure.
>
> We have an open bed policy, though, so we almost always have one of them
in
> the bed with us for some portion of the night.
>
> --danielle
>
>
> "List Posting Policies" are provided in the files area of this group.
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[email protected]

In a message dated 12/31/2003 10:22:37 AM Eastern Standard Time,
jnjstau@... writes:
This is us. None of the kids have slept with us on a consistent basis.
Some of them have NEVER come in, some do if they had a bad dream or
whatever. Zach, now 10, just brings his bedding and sleeps in the floor of
our room if he feels a need to be close.



Our 15 year old has times when she drags her blankets and pillow and sleeps
in the floor beside me. We talk or watch TV or sometimes she just wants to
know I'm there, RIGHT there. DH doesn't really "get" why this happens, but
thankfully he's come far enough into this "venture" as he calls it to just not say
anything and roll over and go to sleep.

She never really did this at all (well she did co sleep from an infant but
wanted her OWN room like the big kids around two I guess) but in the last year I
guess it's been happening. Sometimes two or three nights in a row. Then
maybe not for a month.

A LOT around the death of her friend in August and following, when there are
reminders. I'm glad my children LIKE being close to me, even at 15, almost
16. My mother was the very last place I would have looked to for comfort or
security.

glena


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

[email protected]

> >All mine slept with me through most of their first year.


We started co-sleeping when my oldest was a day old. We brought him home and
he cried and cried in the bassinet so I decided to bring him in bed with us
so that we could all sleep better. That was the day that dh and I decided that
we would always try our best to meet our children's needs and take their
needs seriously. I believe that was what set us in the right frame of mind for
unschooling. I believe that my oldest being a high need child was a gift. If
it wasn't for him we may never have challenged the accepted "normal" child
raising beliefs of the general public, and may never have come to such a
respectful and joyful way of living.

Anyway on co-sleeping, my boys 9 and 6 have always slept with us, we do have
a king size bed. They haven't ever mentioned sleeping in their own beds. We
love it that way. We all sleep so peacefully. I remember a couple of years
ago my oldest was saying that the mattress was bothering his back, that he
would wake up with a back ache so we went shopping for a new mattress. Everyone
trying it out. The store owner probably thought we were nuts but never said a
word. I guess a sale is a sale.

Pam G


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

kayb85

I'm glad my children LIKE being close to me, even at 15, almost
> 16. My mother was the very last place I would have looked to for
comfort or
> security.

Very cool. :)
Sheila

[email protected]

In a message dated 12/31/03 10:09:06 AM, rubyprincesstsg@... writes:

<< A LOT around the death of her friend in August and following, when there
are
reminders. I'm glad my children LIKE being close to me, even at 15, almost
16. My mother was the very last place I would have looked to for comfort or
security. >>

When I was 14 and 15 I had two friends kill themselves. My room was a scary
dark canning-room (half underground, not as finished as the rest of the
house),and my parents were two rooms away, and their room opened into the living
room, where there was a couch. A couple of times I had nightmares so severe I
couldn't breathe, and when I went to my mom's bedside and begged just to be able
to finish the night out on the couch in the next room, was told no, go back
to my own bed.

I'm glad I remember that, because it will never happen to my kids.

Sandra

Elizabeth Roberts

I had a similar experience and always said that I'd not do the same to my children. If they needed me at night, they needed me. I wouldn't turn them away.

I know that many things I do as a parent are in part reactionary from the way I was brought up, but in many instances, I'd have to say it's a really good thing!

MamaBeth

SandraDodd@... wrote:

In a message dated 12/31/03 10:09:06 AM, rubyprincesstsg@... writes:

<< A LOT around the death of her friend in August and following, when there
are
reminders. I'm glad my children LIKE being close to me, even at 15, almost
16. My mother was the very last place I would have looked to for comfort or
security. >>

When I was 14 and 15 I had two friends kill themselves. My room was a scary
dark canning-room (half underground, not as finished as the rest of the
house),and my parents were two rooms away, and their room opened into the living
room, where there was a couch. A couple of times I had nightmares so severe I
couldn't breathe, and when I went to my mom's bedside and begged just to be able
to finish the night out on the couch in the next room, was told no, go back
to my own bed.

I'm glad I remember that, because it will never happen to my kids.

Sandra


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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Olga

We have never co-slept but we also would never consider not allowing
our kids in our room. My 2yo has been in a lot lately which I have
no probelm with except no one wakes up happy. It is amazing how
much room that little body takes up! He tends to push me to the
edge and kick my dh. However, he tends to come in when I am dead
asleep so by the time I realize he is there I am too tired to do
anything about it. Once he is asleep, and if I have the energy I
will put him back in his bed. My 5yo will come in occasionaly,
escpecially if he wakes up and finds his brother gone. We just
bought one of those new airbed sleeping bags and leave it next to
the bed. He comes in when he needs and plops and he is
comfortable. I wish I had thought of it sooner. I am going to try
and get the little one to use it more.

Olga :)
--- In [email protected], "J. Stauffer"
<jnjstau@g...> wrote:
> <<We have an open bed policy>>
>
> This is us. None of the kids have slept with us on a consistent
basis.
> Some of them have NEVER come in, some do if they had a bad dream or
> whatever. Zach, now 10, just brings his bedding and sleeps in the
floor of
> our room if he feels a need to be close.
>
> Julie S.
> ----- Original Message -----
> From: "Danielle E. Conger" <danielle.conger@c...>
> To: <[email protected]>
> Sent: Wednesday, December 31, 2003 6:49 AM
> Subject: Re: [UnschoolingDiscussion] Co-sleeping was unschooling
and potty
> training
>
>
> > All mine slept with me through most of their first year. Made
it so easy
> > with the nursing--never had to wake up. All those other mothers
dragging
> > around, complaining. Not me! There was always another one on the
heals (my
> > kids are 17 months apart), so they moved into their own room. My
first and
> > third both wanted to sleep alone at that point--they would wake
up crying.
> > I suspect it was dh's snoring. <LOL> The middle one was the
only one who
> > probably would still be sleeping with us, but she moved in with
her older
> > sister. We got them bunk beds about 9 mos. ago, but they chose
to both
> > sleep in the top together. Go figure.
> >
> > We have an open bed policy, though, so we almost always have one
of them
> in
> > the bed with us for some portion of the night.
> >
> > --danielle
> >
> >
> > "List Posting Policies" are provided in the files area of this
group.
> >
> > To unsubscribe from this send an email to:
> > [email protected]
> >
> > Visit the Unschooling website and message boards:
> http://www.unschooling.com
> >
> > Yahoo! Groups Links
> >
> > To visit your group on the web, go to:
> > http://groups.yahoo.com/group/UnschoolingDiscussion/
> >
> > To unsubscribe from this group, send an email to:
> > [email protected]
> >
> > Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to:
> > http://docs.yahoo.com/info/terms/
> >
> >
> >
> >