Devapriya

>
> _________________________________________________________
> _______________________________________________________________________
> _
>
> Message: 24
> Date: Sun, 30 Nov 2003 22:07:11 EST
> From: SandraDodd@...
> Subject: Re: reports
>
>
> In a message dated 11/30/03 11:37:02 AM, devapriya108@... writes:
>
> << And she enthusiastically said she wanted to write a report. And
> you said to her, "I don't want a report". Now I trust that you had a
> good reason but can you explain why you responded like this? I would
> like to understand fully. I'm thinking that maybe you wanted her to
> understand that a report is written when someone wants one for a real
> reason. >>
>
> As it turned out, I laminated it and used it in a workshop on writing.
> <g>
>
>
> -=-A lot of parents, even unschoolers, would be tempted to try to,
> in a subtle way, encourage writing, or at least not discourage. I don't
> think you were really trying to discourage, but instead had some clear
> good intention.-=-
>
> We were joking around and I was telling them about school book
> reports, and
> she said she wanted to write one.
>
> I don't have a scanner working, but I'll try to put it up where people
> can
> see it someday. It's very decorated and decorative.

It would be really fun to see an unschoolers book report!
>
> -=- I do know that with my son who has been to PS that I have to
> really
> be careful not to react more to schoolish type interests, because he
> picks up on it and has an aversion to doing these things if they are
> considered schoolish and therefore more desirable. -=-
>
> When Marty was little I used to tease him if he would read something
> aloud
> (the name of a business, or a word off a billboard) and say "STOP! If
> I wanted
> you to read, I would have sent you to school." He thought it was
> hilarious
> that he was "rebelling" by learning to read against my will.
>
> It was along the lines of that when I told Holly I didn't want a
> report. It
> wasn't the reverse psychology of "no, no, I really don't want one,"
> though. I
> really did NOT want one!! <g>

yes, I'm starting to get it. This is very helpful in seeing it
differently--plus what you wrote just below.
>
> The last few years I taught, book reports took the form of private
> discussions, with the book in hand and the kid could look things up
> to read me good
> parts or find characters' names if they needed to. I didn't care if
> they said
> they didn't like the book, or that they had stopped "here" and showed
> me how
> far they had gotten before they decided to bail. The point was to
> discuss
> something they had read (rather than to have finished and summarized a
> book).
>
> I do that sort of thing with my kids all the time, so the traditional
> written
> book report to prove the book had been read, or to practice writing
> reports
> (I shudder at that justification) has no place in my life.
>
> -=-But he didn't mention the
> writing so I didn't. I peeked later without him knowing. I was very
> curious about the content and somewhat about the spelling. He was
> writing about Six Flags! It was cute.-=-
>
> I noticed someone criticized your looking. If he wanted it secret he
> could've hidden it.

Yes, I think it really depends on the kid and the situation. I know
that he knows that he can tell me anything. I also
know that it was highly unlikely that the content would have been
anything other than "light" in nature. In a situation
where there is a lot of love and respect and acceptance, there is
not much reason to hide anything.
>
> My kids and husband read over my shoulder lots of times. If I have
> something
> secret to write (which is rare) I do it in secret.
>
> Marty and Kirby share my computer sometimes. Sometimes they leave
> files
> open. Sometimes I've had to look at an "untitled" or oddly named file
> on the
> desktop to see where to put it. I see their writing there.
>
> One of the things I read into the record at that workshop (or at least
> passed
> around for people to see) was some online role playing stuff of
> Kirby's. It
> was really good. Its goodness wasn't in technicalities, but in the
> aliveness
> of the language, in the "voice" of the character, and in the
> tenderness of the
> treatment of the other character (he was being the dad to a young
> daughter,
> and this wasn't a "public" scene, but was in a chatroom, just the two
> of
> them---part of "storyline," but not in the way of in-person D&D games
> in front of
> the whole group).
>
> I got Kirby's permission to use that, though, before I used it. I
> didn't get
> his permission to read it before I read it.
>
> Now that he has his own computer, I wouldn't look at anything on there.
> What's on my physical or electronic desktop for me to have to move or
> clean up,
> though, seems fair game.
>
> My kids know my passwords. They can look at stuff on my computer.
> Things I
> want to keep close (Christmas notes and such) are named things they
> wouldn't
> think to look in.
>
> I found one of Marty's role playing scenes the other day. It was
> really
> sweet too.
> There's never cause in school to "write something sweet." All the
> sweet
> stuff is love notes and they're confiscated and the kid's in trouble
> for writing
> and passing them.
>
This is such a good point. And in both instances, they did not hide
them. Especially
interesting because they are boys.

> -=-Sorry this is long. Thanks for reading! And thanks for the talk by
> you and Richard.-=-
>
> Well you're welcome. <g>
>
> There are two other tapes of co-presentations by Richard and me. I
> think
> they're both better than the one on writing. One is "To Question or
> Not to
> Question: That is the Question," and "Peaceful Parenting."
>
Yes, I have the "To Question" one. It is very good. I'm gonna
listen again since knowing
you think its better. I will get the other one which I did not know
about. Thanks.

> Sandra
>
>