[email protected]

In a message dated 5/27/02 6:41:42 PM Central Daylight Time,
[email protected] writes:

<<
I admit it, I am a strewer of sorts. My oldest boy does not like
going to the library >>

Strewing works fabulously here.
My oldest doesn't really like picking things out at the library as of late.
Not sure why.
So I will very often see something I think is interesting...a movie, book or
whatever. I check it out and leave it with the other library materials we got.
I've seen him reading the books I've checked out and really enjoying them.
So should I just ignore it when he says he doesn't want anything that day?
Is it manipulative to see something I think he may enjoy and bring it home?
No. Only if I hope to see him reading it and am disapointed when he doesn't.
A book sitting out where he can see it is simply available.
Some of them have sat until we return it. Others get picked up. It's totally
up to him.
That's no manipulative in any way.
I'm simply giving him more choices.
Ren

[email protected]

In a message dated 5/28/02 2:03:21 PM Central Daylight Time,
[email protected] writes:

<< I see now that had I been practicing purposeful strewing, they might
>have gotten caught up in other things instead of their current
>fascinations. For us, I think strewing what I found most interesting
>would have had the effect of superimposing my likes over theirs.
>>


This totally confuses me. You have a problem with strewing because they might
miss out on their own interest somehow?
And this from a person that only 8 months ago said this:

"I think there is a world of different between letting them learn to make
their own choices and letting them make YOUR choices too. My kids have a
list of chores and a list of basic amounts of schoolwork to be done each
week. The less they do, the more controlled the following week is. So
it really is up to them but their choices have consequences."

I don't care if the child asked for help getting to a certain goal, REQUIRING
chores and schoolwork is ok, but strewing is not?
You contradict yourself completely at every turn.

Ren

rumpleteasermom

Well Ren,

It has already been established that that was not an accurate picture
of what was really going on here. I don't have time to go back and
find when but I know it is there. The lists were things agreed upon
and hashed out by all those involved and the control had more to do
with keeping Rachel from sliding into a depression and doing nothing
than anything else. The lists BTW, are gone now. Rachel is back on
anti-depressants and coping well. Her activity level is not dropping
so there is no need for a list any more.
BUT if any of them start to slide into a place where they are not
contributing to the family, I will not ignore the situation and just
hope they get better.

Bridget




--- In Unschooling-dotcom@y..., starsuncloud@c... wrote:
> In a message dated 5/28/02 2:03:21 PM Central Daylight Time,
> Unschooling-dotcom@y... writes:
>
> << I see now that had I been practicing purposeful strewing, they
might
> >have gotten caught up in other things instead of their current
> >fascinations. For us, I think strewing what I found most
interesting
> >would have had the effect of superimposing my likes over theirs.
> >>
>
>
> This totally confuses me. You have a problem with strewing because
they might
> miss out on their own interest somehow?
> And this from a person that only 8 months ago said this:
>
> "I think there is a world of different between letting them learn to
make
> their own choices and letting them make YOUR choices too. My kids
have a
> list of chores and a list of basic amounts of schoolwork to be done
each
> week. The less they do, the more controlled the following week is.
So
> it really is up to them but their choices have consequences."
>
> I don't care if the child asked for help getting to a certain goal,
REQUIRING
> chores and schoolwork is ok, but strewing is not?
> You contradict yourself completely at every turn.
>
> Ren

[email protected]

In a message dated 5/29/02 9:47:39 AM, ecsamhill@... writes:

<< However, I
don't think my kid is going to be lured away from his own developmental
journey because I'm rolling golden apples across his path. He has a
powerful ability to make his own choices and to say "no". >>

Beautiful image, Betsy! Golden apples...

Elizabeth Hill

**I guess because that isn't what I'm saying. The way some of you talk
about strewing sounds (to me anyway) as if you are saying that you
think about it all the time and are constantly finding things to
strew. And what I have said is that that would have made big changes
in how my kids had turned out. If I had spent any extra time
thinking about what to put in front of them and procuring it and
leaving it about for them, they would not have had any free time.**

I'm not the strewing queen, and I may not even being doing the strewing
thing "right", but I'll add my two cents.

Purposeful strewing is not something that I do or think about
constantly. It really only comes up when we have a lull, or when my son
sleeps in a long time in the morning and I get bored. (Not enough email
that day?) Then, in the process of tidying up, I might find a book or a
toy that has never been used or not been used recently and I'll put it
in a prominent place. The tiniest example I can think of is once I had
moved the K'nex into a dresser drawer instead of a transparent storage
box. I "strewed" them, when they hadn't been touched for awhile, by
just pulling the drawer open so he could see them and be reminded of
them. Our board games are overflowing the storage that we have in the
living room, so every so often, when I'm pondering whether I can get rid
of any of the overflow, I rotate one or two games back in from the
garage. I bring them in and stick them on a table, rather than inside
the cabinet we have. One of my main objectives with strewing is to
circulate things. I believe if unschooling/life ever gets dull a fine
way to liven it up is to clean out a closet.

I do strewing for a few minutes a couple of times a month, if I think
about it. If I tidied up more often, I might strew more often. When I
clean up I'm always amazed at the things that I find that *I* have
forgotten we have. If I have a problem, <g> it's compulsive shopping
(thrift shops), not compulsive strewing.

I'm pretty sure I waste more of my time stepping over stuff my son has
strewn on the floor than he could possibly waste swerving or detouring
over what I put out.

I certainly think that school-at-home parents who make their kids spend
time on a subject they select are warping their kids, or at least
squandering some of their time that could be spent better. However, I
don't think my kid is going to be lured away from his own developmental
journey because I'm rolling golden apples across his path. He has a
powerful ability to make his own choices and to say "no".

Betsy

myfunny4

I don't strew. I share.

A recent post (I think it was yesterday...this thread is long...)
mentioned that kids can sense *contrived*. They can usually sense
contrived if they've been manipulated in the past. But kids who
trust their parents won't sense *contrived to elicit an educational
experience* if a mom leaves out a game or puzzle or gizmo gadget.
They'll sense mom's love.

I share all kinds of things with my kids. Some they like and become
interested in; some they thank me but move easily on to something
else. That's what a family does. They share their lives and their
interests.

We live in PA. I need to provide records for the state. As the
year goes on, if I see the science section of the portfolio is a
little anemic, I'll let my ds and dd know that. They start hunting
around for something to do. Sometimes they even ask me for
suggestions.

Debbie

Ren Allen

"We are reading Eragon. Just got to the part where Brom needs to
search the
record books for info and Eragon admits he has never learned to
read. Riley
danced on his bed last night that he can read better than Eragon and
Eragon is a
dragon rider."

I think that was very comforting for my Jared too...he's 11 and for
all intents and purposes, a beginning reader. We stalled out on the
last chapter or two. He's been too busy with Halo2 and MorrowWind
since Christmas.:)

We have the Dragon Riders of Pern to read next...we may never get to
them though.

Ren

Wendy S.

Hello all. I've just been reading about strewing on Sandra's site
and was wondering if it's the same thing as buying stuff that lays
around the house for your children to use as they want and when they
want. I have not, so far, bought stuff on my own to just leave
around the house, especially not with "strewing" in mind. There may
be things I buy (when dd is with me) that look like fun--ie: a giant
tin of TinkerToys that she *never* would have asked for but enjoys
immensely, or cool coloring books with coral reefs in them (that
haven't been used although reefs were a recent topic of discussion).
Most of "her" stuff is stuff she picks out to buy and plays with as
she wishes. Most of it lives in her room until she chooses to get it
out and bring it downstairs. I just don't feel very inspired in my
strewing, but then I wonder if I'm somehow failing my dd.

Just wondering.

Wendy S. in GA
http://www.trustbirth.com

"Motherhood: 24/7 on the frontlines of humanity. Are you man enough
to try it?" Maria Shriver




[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Pamela Sorooshian

On Nov 5, 2005, at 10:52 PM, Wendy S. wrote:

> Most of "her" stuff is stuff she picks out to buy and plays with as
> she wishes. Most of it lives in her room until she chooses to get it
> out and bring it downstairs. I just don't feel very inspired in my
> strewing, but then I wonder if I'm somehow failing my dd.

Are you saying you're never using your own knowledge about what might
interest her, but waiting for her to take the initiative all the
time? That's too much waiting. I mean, just take the example of games
- there are LOTS of times that kids can't imagine how much fun a game
is going to be, just from looking at the box, for example. If YOU
know that she LOVED Candyland, then you might pick up Chutes and
Ladders because it is also likely to be fun for her - you don't need
to wait for her to ask for it. She might never happen to see it and
might very likely never realize that it is a game she'd like a lot.
Or maybe she loves CLUE - she'd likely enjoy MASTERMIND - both
involve the same kind of logical thinking. So - how is she going to
know that?

I've heard of unschoolers who say they never bring home anything for
their kids - because they feel that puts subtle pressure on them to
learn what the parents are promoting. I say hogwash to that <G>. I
pick up stuff ALL the time - STILL do it and mine are 14, 18, and
almost 21. If I see an unusual fruit in the grocery store, I buy it
and take it home and put it on the table for others to notice. If a
kid is in the store with me I might say, "Oooh look at this. Let's
take it home and cut it open."

This is why some of us dislike the term "child-led" or "child-
directed" learning --- unschooling is not child-led or child-directed
learning - that makes it sound like the parent should just be a
"follower." Not so - parents are active participants and part of the
job of an unschooling parent is to keep the child in mind and to fill
his/her life with just the right amount of interesting new
experience, chances to repeat experiences, down time, and so on.

The only way to make it "just right" is to offer and not coerce. If
you don't "offer" stuff/ideas/experiences, then the kids aren't going
to even know what's out there. If you push too much on them, they can
feel pressured and that their learning is being taken over by you.

It isn't all that tricky, though, when you live with a kid and pay
attention and care deeply - to keep that child in mind and provide
him/her with a pretty steady stream of options/possibilities/ideas/
stuff, etc. Invite and offer a lot - it is your job to create a
stimulating and interesting environment around her.

-pam



[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Krisula Moyer

In our family, kids are ages 12, 10, and 5, we've found that certain
circumstances/preparations help optimize the strewing.

1) If the item being strewn(?) is somehow related to a recent interest,
that helps. Recently, my kids have gone on an all out tan grams marathon.
They were never interested in them before but dh saw a puzzle in Family Math
and started to do it. That led to dd cutting out pieces from a photocopy of
the book which led to a trip to the teacher store to find plastic ones (a
bargain at $1 per set)

2) If I clear off a table and provide an inviting work space, the item
offered becomes much more attractive. I used to worry that the items I
bought and offered were being rejected a lot. It occurred to me that it was
just too much to ask for them to both notice the thing amongst all the
clutter and also take the time to find a cleared off table to work at. Now,
I will often clean off a table, put out some cushions or chairs, and place
the item neatly on the table. (Recently I put out a variety of clay and
lots of tools along with nice plastic placemats to work on. Didn't say a
word about it and the next thing I knew all three kids were sculpting away
making all kinds of things - I find this miraculous)

3) If something occurs to me, dh or one of the kids, we are in the habit of
hitting pause on the TV or computer game to interject. Lightly, of course
so as not to be too annoying. But we have the most wonderful conversations
and find new directions to explore when we take the time to do this.
Yesterday a friend brought over the DVD of a movie about the crusades which
we watched together and even though ds didn't stay for the whole flick, we
knew he'd want to come back for the special features on castles and medieval
weapons. We hit so many topics of interest and now I have a whole new
subset of things that the kids will notice when I get around to strewing
them. (I recently ordered some castle blocks and now we have a previous
conversation and interest to tie that into.)

4) If it doesn't fly, I 'd better put it away and maybe try again later. If
I appear to be pushing a particular book or game or something I *will*
encounter resistance and then that item may be snubbed for a long time. If
I move on without too much fuss, or don't even mention it then the item can
more easily resurface later.


Anyway, It took a few years to recognize the patterns , and each family has
it's own quirks and family culture. Your family might like to find their
books organized by topic or to get their games strewn by the game fairy in
the middle of the night. I'm still trying to figure out a way to read to my
older kids during the day instead of when they're ready to fall asleep at
night. DD listens to Harry Potter books one or two pages at a time.LOL It
takes months (nay, years) to get through each volume but she still loves
them.

Happy strewing,
Krisula



[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Betsy Hill

** 4) If it doesn't fly, I 'd better put it away and maybe try again
later. If I appear to be pushing a particular book or game or something
I *will*
encounter resistance and then that item may be snubbed for a long time.**

That's a good description of how I think my kid feels.

A thought : "You can lead a horse to water, but there's not much sense
making him drink by shoving his head under the water."

(In the presence of water, or in the presence of stimulating new stuff,
we all 'drink' when we are thirsty.)

Betsy

[email protected]

I don"t know if sandra is still allowing conversation on this subject. I have
some info if you want to contact me. I got a note from Sandra last time
asking me not to discuss a certain subject and she had stopped conversation. so I
don't want to violate her rules again.
feel free to contact me if you like


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Pamela Sorooshian

On Nov 8, 2005, at 7:51 AM, TheFadels@... wrote:

> I don"t know if sandra is still allowing conversation on this
> subject. I have
> some info if you want to contact me. I got a note from Sandra last
> time
> asking me not to discuss a certain subject and she had stopped
> conversation. so I
> don't want to violate her rules again.
> feel free to contact me if you like


The subject line says, "strewing," and your post makes it sound like
Sandra wouldn't allow discussion of that.

Not so.

In fact, twice you've sent specific state information and Sandra
reminded you of OUR (list owners) request that people not post about
specific state laws on this list. There are people from every state
and around the world, here, and so local information is generally a
waste of time to most of the approximately 2,000 people. This list is
for talking about learning/unschooling - not the local legal stuff.

If you're wanting to give someone information about unschooling in a
particular state, though, you could send that information to me, as
I'm collecting "Unschooling Across the States" information and will
post it on the <unschooling.info> website when I have enough of it to
make it worthwhile.


-pam sorooshian, co-listowner



[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

[email protected]

This list is owned by Joyce Fetteroll, Pam Sorooshian and myself.
When the topic got off on local laws last week after a request for people to
contact the questioner privately, and when people were continuing to post to
the list, PAM asked people to end the topic.

This list has nearly 2000 members, some reading individual e-mails, some
reading digests, some reading online, some probably forgetting to read it most of
the time, but it's not a small list, and it's not a local list. There are
very many smaller and more local lists available with a simple yahoogroups.com
search.

Strewing is a wonderful topic to discuss here. Local laws are not good for
an international discussion list.
I'm sorry if this is confusing for anyone.


> -=-I don"t know if sandra is still allowing conversation on this subject. I
> have
> some info if you want to contact me.  I got a note from Sandra last time
> asking me not to discuss a certain subject and she had stopped conversation.
> so I
> don't want to violate her rules again.
> feel free to contact me if you like-=-
>



[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]