kenai606

Hi,
My name is Rachel and I have been homeschooling for 5 years now and I
am suddenly realizing that both my kids and I really want to be
unschooling instead. I have a 10 year old son and 2 daughters 7 & 5.
This was my first year homeschooling all 3 and it just is not working
the way I thought it would. I finally pulled my Unschooling handbook
off the shelf one day and read the whole thing cover to cover... This
is the way I should be schooling. I talked to my kids and they were
totally in love with the concept. I am so tired of feeling like we
are behind on learning and "schoolwork" that I could just scream.
The days we just "took off" and did what we all wanted was so much
nicer and calmer... Why haven't I tried this before now? I am so
looking forward to reading all of the posts on this list and getting
to know everyone. In my community it is so lonely being a
homeschooler let alone an unschooler that it is very hard sometimes.
I live in a small rural community in Alaska. You would think more
people would like to get together since I know there are lots of
home/unschoolers around they just don't want to for some reason. My
kids don't get along with the public schooled kids in the
neighborhood because of the diffence in interests and personalities
that they feel very lonely too. So I am hoping that if I can at least
bounce ideas off of some of you and likewise we will all feel better.
Thanks!

rumpleteasermom

Hi Rachel,

My older dd is also named Rachel. Mine are much older than yours 17,
14 and 10. But we went through the no one to play with thing too. My
girls have a few friends - - 2 that they see often and a 3 or 4 more
that they only see occassionally. Mine just don't get along well with
others their own ages. They are just different. They are however,
perfectly happy with the situation. I hope yours are too. If they
are, don't worry about it. If the loneliness is a big issue, take
them lots of places and let them meet lots of different kinds of
people. That helped mine a lot in the beginning. They saw that it
was okay to be defferent and then they stopped worrying about it.

Bridget


--- In Unschooling-dotcom@y..., "kenai606" <kenai5@g...> wrote:

> I live in a small rural community in Alaska. You would think more
> people would like to get together since I know there are lots of
> home/unschoolers around they just don't want to for some reason. My
> kids don't get along with the public schooled kids in the
> neighborhood because of the diffence in interests and personalities
> that they feel very lonely too. So I am hoping that if I can at
least
> bounce ideas off of some of you and likewise we will all feel
better.
> Thanks!

Bonni Sollars

Hi Rachel, my name is Bonni and I have benefitted enormously from this
group. I have four kids aged 7g,9b,11b,14b. We are really enjoying
unschooling, and try to do things socially like church, skateboarding,
sports, visiting public school friends or visiting kid centers between
3:00 and 5:30 and hanging out at the mall for social activities. I guess
it's different in rural Alaska. My kids are all very outgoing like their
dad, not like me.
---My kids don't get along with the public schooled kids in the
neighborhood because of the difference in interests and personalities
that they feel very lonely too.---
I don't think it is just a homeschooling thing, since I used to attend ps
and I didn't fit in or feel at home with the way everyone behaved or
thought, especially the way they treated each other. I hung out a lot in
nature, by the river, on a mountain all by my lonesome with a dog or
horse. I lived in rural Oregon. I then moved to big-city Fort
Lauderdale, Florida when I was twelve. Talk about culture shock. I
would climb trees and swim far out into the ocean and hang out reading at
the library to escape. In middle school, I started being more sociable
and to find other kindred spirits. Well, loneliness is hard. I tell my
kids, "Boredom is the soil in which imagination grows." It is too true.
What I'm trying to say is, loneliness is part of the human experience,
and the fact that your children don't relate to the ps kids interests and
personalities is a sign of their awareness of who they are. It's not
necessarily a "bad" thing, like ps teachers always make it out to be.
Bonni

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

zenmomma *

>>My name is Rachel and I have been homeschooling for 5 years now and I am
>>suddenly realizing that both my kids and I really want to be
unschooling instead.>>

Hi Rachel and welcome to unschooling and all its' joys. :o)

>>I live in a small rural community in Alaska. You would think more
people would like to get together since I know there are lots of
home/unschoolers around they just don't want to for some reason.>>

It's the same thing here where I live in Utah. I'm not sure what that's all
about. I can't even pull together a park day here. So I know what you mean
about feeling lonely. Hope some discussions here will help.

Life is good.
~Mary






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Tia Leschke

>
>The days we just "took off" and did what we all wanted was so much
>nicer and calmer...

Welcome! Do you have a name? <g> I'm glad you're finding your way now.

> Why haven't I tried this before now? I am so
>looking forward to reading all of the posts on this list and getting
>to know everyone. In my community it is so lonely being a
>homeschooler let alone an unschooler that it is very hard sometimes.
>I live in a small rural community in Alaska. You would think more
>people would like to get together since I know there are lots of
>home/unschoolers around they just don't want to for some reason.

I'm curious what you've tried. Have you put a notice up in the library,
for instance. That's the first thing I'd do, and I'd make it clear that it
was either for unschoolers or all welcome. Otherwise the unschoolers might
think you're structured homeschoolers and not respond.
Good luck!
Tia

No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.
Eleanor Roosevelt
*********************************************
Tia Leschke
leschke@...
On Vancouver Island

[email protected]

In a message dated 11/12/2004 5:12:15 PM Eastern Standard Time,
[email protected] writes:
You might also try contacting this woman to see if she can be of any help:

camillebauer25@...

I don't know if that's an active email address or not, I got it off the
Maryland Unschoolers site at http://
It's not a good email address anymore. But if it was, it probably wouldn't be
a good idea to post someone's address who may not be on this list and doesn't
know you posted it. She is on Maryland UFC so Kathleen can contact her there.
Elissa
Life's challenges are not supposed to paralyze you;
They're supposed to help you discover who you are.
~Bernice Johnson Reagon


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Danielle Conger

====

It's not a good email address anymore. But if it was, it probably wouldn't be
a good idea to post someone's address who may not be on this list and doesn't
know you posted it. She is on Maryland UFC so Kathleen can contact her there.
Elissa

======

Well, as I said, it was posted right on the Maryland Unschoolers list,
saying in big ol' letters "contact me." So, I don't think it was a
breach of etiquette to post it on this list together with the website url.

--Danielle

http://www.danielleconger.com/Homeschool/Welcomehome.html



>
>

mayajourney

Hi,

I'm new to the group and struggling with an unschooling dilemma. Besides the ongoing dilemma of unschooling my kids amongst peers and family, this issue is about how to handle my current situation.

Recently my husband was diagnosed with cancer. He is doing well through his treatment, but he was the breadwinner in the family. As a teacher himself, he struggled to understand how unschooling our kids worked so much better for them and our family. Both kids have tried a few weeks of traditional school, but failed miserably to fit into the "box." The teachers failed to see the value of how bright my children are because everyone is so worried about their teaching jobs and test scores.

I may have to return full time to work or create a job that brings in enough to support us all. Knowing that the kids cannot succeed in an atmosphere that is so stifling (emotional breakdowns,labels, bullying, etc), what can I do to make this all work. I know I'm not the only momma out there who struggles to make this all work.

It doesn't help that people look upon me like, "I told you so. Your kids will never survive in the world if you unschool them." Yet, I feel like they survive well in the world, just not in the educational system world.

Hence, my dilemma of what to do. Do I let go of unschooling and prepare them with standardized school curriculum (with total resistance on both our sides)? Or do I continue to just trust that everything will work out if they have to go to traditional schools?

I just need advice, opinions, experiences, etc to help me reflect on this.

Thanks,
Maya

Sandra Dodd

-=-Do I let go of unschooling and prepare them with standardized school curriculum (with total resistance on both our sides)? Or do I continue to just trust that everything will work out if they have to go to traditional schools?-=-

Those aren't the only two choices.
And I hope you're not "just trusting" anything, but that you're making conscious decisions toward their learning and their happiness!

Any child might end up in a traditional school. It could happen. Even if the parents have chosen another unschooling family to care for the child, something could happen to all those parents. No reason to become agitated about that.

Learning doesn't have to happen during "school hours." Even if you work full time, the kids can be spending time with you outside of those hours, with you available to provide stimulating activities and conversations, and answer their questions. Can your husband just hang out with them, take care of them, while you're at work? If so, I think unschooling can continue.

But if putting them in school is what you decide to do, this might help some:
http://sandradodd.com/schoolchoice
You don't need to support the school fully to the wall on all their beliefs and requirements.

Sandra

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

sherylmundy

I am sorry that you are in a difficult situation but remember the way you handle this is an opportunity to teach your children. We have unschooled our 4 kids, my youngest is now 16 and she is now going to the Community College and studying Mechanical Engineering. All of my kids are at University as Engineering Majors and no we are not Engineers ourselves this is just the field they all liked. Will your husband be able to help your children as needed? Will he be home most of the time that they are home? Do you have supportive friends or family nearby? How old is the oldest child, can he/she babysit? Will you be working close enough to drive home at lunch? There is always a way to make it happen if you really want to.

My kids have spent way too much time playing games on the computer and talking to internet friends both of which they would not do if we were regular schoolers. Because of this they are very good at computers and have gotten part time jobs as web designers, etc. They have not learned many traditional things but most schoolers have not learned what they have taught themselves. Do not worry about grades, mine never had a grade until college and get all A's and B's. Trust yourself and your kids you know them better than anyone, talk with them about this and ask them for ideas you may be surprised what they come up with.


Good luck.

Shery
--- In [email protected], "mayajourney" <mayajourney@...> wrote:
>
> Hi,
>
> I'm new to the group and struggling with an unschooling dilemma. Besides the ongoing dilemma of unschooling my kids amongst peers and family, this issue is about how to handle my current situation.
>
> Recently my husband was diagnosed with cancer. He is doing well through his treatment, but he was the breadwinner in the family. As a teacher himself, he struggled to understand how unschooling our kids worked so much better for them and our family. Both kids have tried a few weeks of traditional school, but failed miserably to fit into the "box." The teachers failed to see the value of how bright my children are because everyone is so worried about their teaching jobs and test scores.
>
> I may have to return full time to work or create a job that brings in enough to support us all. Knowing that the kids cannot succeed in an atmosphere that is so stifling (emotional breakdowns,labels, bullying, etc), what can I do to make this all work. I know I'm not the only momma out there who struggles to make this all work.
>
> It doesn't help that people look upon me like, "I told you so. Your kids will never survive in the world if you unschool them." Yet, I feel like they survive well in the world, just not in the educational system world.
>
> Hence, my dilemma of what to do. Do I let go of unschooling and prepare them with standardized school curriculum (with total resistance on both our sides)? Or do I continue to just trust that everything will work out if they have to go to traditional schools?
>
> I just need advice, opinions, experiences, etc to help me reflect on this.
>
> Thanks,
> Maya
>

Jenny Cyphers

***I am sorry that you are in a difficult situation but remember the way you handle this is an opportunity to teach your children.***

I don't think a traumatic illness is an opportunity to teach your children.  It might be an opportunity to become closer as a family, or renew priorities, or shift priorities, or change directions entirely.  In situations that involve a great deal of stress, the best way to look at it, is in each different choice that comes up, choose the one that creates more peace and less stress and sometimes that might be putting the kids in school, even if temporarily.  If kids are totally opposed to going to school, then by all means don't add that, it will create more stress not less.

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

sherylmundy

I don't think a traumatic illness is an opportunity to teach your children."

Six months ago we had to run from our house as it burned to the ground during the Caughlin Wilfire in Reno. We lost everything we have ever owned, 2 cars, and 7 pets. I think the way we pulled through that taught our kids a lot. I am not saying that is anything like what you are going through and I think how ever you get through it is the best thing you can do. Life teaches lessons no matter what we intend.

Sheryl

Sandra Dodd

-=-I think the way we pulled through that taught our kids a lot..... Life teaches lessons no matter what we intend.-=-

The objection, I think, was to the idea that *anything* would be used as "a way to teach" a child anything.

Children learned from the way you pulled through after a fire.
Children learn lessons from life.

As long as a parent clings to the idea of "teaching lessons," even if it's a defense of life teaching lessons, unschooling will elude them.

Unschooling is about learning, and not about teaching.


http://sandradodd.com/teaching/
http://sandradodd.com/learning

Sandra

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Joyce Fetteroll

On May 31, 2012, at 10:48 AM, sherylmundy wrote:

> Life teaches lessons no matter what we intend.

I'm sorry for what you went through!

But it helps people think more clearly about unschooling to see the difference between teaching and learning.

Teaching is about getting a specific understanding -- a specific change -- into someone's head.

But there's no guarantee that what gets pushed will go in. Or that something entirely different won't get pulled in. If that specific something isn't pulled in, no teaching has taken place.

Learning is about pulling what the learner finds meaningful in. And inside a new understanding grows.

But not matter how a teacher prepares the environment, the teacher can't control what gets pulled in or how it will change someone.

Teaching is pushing. Learning is pulling.

While life will "push" some events on us that we don't choose. While that push will change each person. But life isn't attempting to change someone in any particular way. Life isn't really trying to do anything ;-) It just throws stuff at us.

Some people will be crushed by an event. Some people will become stronger. Some people will develop coping strategies that range from great to poor. Since what they learn won't be the same, no teaching can be say

The clearest generalization that can be made is life dumped a challenge on them and it changed them in some way.

> I think the way we pulled through that taught our kids a lot.

It's clearer to say the way you pulled through allowed them to see some coping tools in action. How the loss effected each person would mean that some found some tools more useful, and others found other tools more useful.

What they pulled in, what they found meaningful, how it changed them, wasn't in your control.

Life presented a big change. You used various tools to cope. The each were changed by life and by how you coped.

Joyce

Joyce Fetteroll

On May 31, 2012, at 11:26 AM, Joyce Fetteroll wrote:

> Since what they learn won't be the same, no teaching can be say

Sorry, didn't finish.

"no teaching can be said to have happened."

Joyce

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Cally

Sorry folks.  I have tried the ways listed to unsubscribe to no avail.   Please advise.
Thanks
Carole


>________________________________
> From: Joyce Fetteroll <jfetteroll@...>
>To: [email protected]
>Sent: Thursday, May 31, 2012 11:26 AM
>Subject: Re: [UnschoolingDiscussion] New to the group
>
>
>

>
>
>On May 31, 2012, at 10:48 AM, sherylmundy wrote:
>
>> Life teaches lessons no matter what we intend.
>
>I'm sorry for what you went through!
>
>But it helps people think more clearly about unschooling to see the difference between teaching and learning.
>
>Teaching is about getting a specific understanding -- a specific change -- into someone's head.
>
>But there's no guarantee that what gets pushed will go in. Or that something entirely different won't get pulled in. If that specific something isn't pulled in, no teaching has taken place.
>
>Learning is about pulling what the learner finds meaningful in. And inside a new understanding grows.
>
>But not matter how a teacher prepares the environment, the teacher can't control what gets pulled in or how it will change someone.
>
>Teaching is pushing. Learning is pulling.
>
>While life will "push" some events on us that we don't choose. While that push will change each person. But life isn't attempting to change someone in any particular way. Life isn't really trying to do anything ;-) It just throws stuff at us.
>
>Some people will be crushed by an event. Some people will become stronger. Some people will develop coping strategies that range from great to poor. Since what they learn won't be the same, no teaching can be say
>
>The clearest generalization that can be made is life dumped a challenge on them and it changed them in some way.
>
>> I think the way we pulled through that taught our kids a lot.
>
>It's clearer to say the way you pulled through allowed them to see some coping tools in action. How the loss effected each person would mean that some found some tools more useful, and others found other tools more useful.
>
>What they pulled in, what they found meaningful, how it changed them, wasn't in your control.
>
>Life presented a big change. You used various tools to cope. The each were changed by life and by how you coped.
>
>Joyce
>
>
>
>
>

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Jenny Cyphers

***Sorry folks.  I have tried the ways listed to unsubscribe to no avail.   Please advise.***

Go to the group on the web.  At the bottom of this post, if it's in email it says "visit your group".  When there, at the top left hand corner, just under the yahoo ad, there will be a thing that says "edit membership".  Go there.

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

sherylmundy

I think I will go back to not commenting on posts. You have corrected my speech enough. Bye.

--- In [email protected], Joyce Fetteroll <jfetteroll@...> wrote:
>
>
> On May 31, 2012, at 10:48 AM, sherylmundy wrote:
>
> > Life teaches lessons no matter what we intend.
>
> I'm sorry for what you went through!
>
> But it helps people think more clearly about unschooling to see the difference between teaching and learning.
>
> Teaching is about getting a specific understanding -- a specific change -- into someone's head.
>
> But there's no guarantee that what gets pushed will go in. Or that something entirely different won't get pulled in. If that specific something isn't pulled in, no teaching has taken place.
>
> Learning is about pulling what the learner finds meaningful in. And inside a new understanding grows.
>
> But not matter how a teacher prepares the environment, the teacher can't control what gets pulled in or how it will change someone.
>
> Teaching is pushing. Learning is pulling.
>
> While life will "push" some events on us that we don't choose. While that push will change each person. But life isn't attempting to change someone in any particular way. Life isn't really trying to do anything ;-) It just throws stuff at us.
>
> Some people will be crushed by an event. Some people will become stronger. Some people will develop coping strategies that range from great to poor. Since what they learn won't be the same, no teaching can be say
>
> The clearest generalization that can be made is life dumped a challenge on them and it changed them in some way.
>
> > I think the way we pulled through that taught our kids a lot.
>
> It's clearer to say the way you pulled through allowed them to see some coping tools in action. How the loss effected each person would mean that some found some tools more useful, and others found other tools more useful.
>
> What they pulled in, what they found meaningful, how it changed them, wasn't in your control.
>
> Life presented a big change. You used various tools to cope. The each were changed by life and by how you coped.
>
> Joyce
>

Sandra Dodd

-=-I think I will go back to not commenting on posts. You have corrected my speech enough. -=-

The difference between learning and teaching isn't "correcting speech." It's discussion of what makes unschooling work better.

It matters.

Sandra

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]