Ren Allen

" He
simply won't do it and I don't want to force him or anything."

Good!! He's way too young. Is there a reason he isn't nursing still?
Kids have a natural desire to suck until around 6 years old or so
usually. It varies from child to child of course, but it's very
natural to have a strong desire to suck at that age.
I can't imagine trying to wean a baby that young.

In other countries he'd still be getting nursed on demand. Heck, if it
were my child he'd still be getting nursed on demand!!:) I realize
there are real life reasons for not nursing (adoption, health issues
etc...) but the need/desire is still there.

Ren

Kim J. Flowers

Well, I was only able to nurse for a little while after he was born because
of some meds I had to take (long term). I had no choice. I really wish I
was still nursing.
And as I said, I am in no hurry to get him off the bottle, I just was hoping
he would start using a cup a little, he just rejects it so strongly.

Kim Flowers - Wife to Nolan for 10 years
Stay at Home Mama of 4 wonderful boys
"I would rather have someone hate me for who I am than like me for who
I am not".


_____

From: [email protected]
[mailto:[email protected]] On Behalf Of Ren Allen
Sent: Thursday, December 29, 2005 6:22 PM
To: [email protected]
Subject: [UnschoolingDiscussion] Couple mommy questions...


" He
simply won't do it and I don't want to force him or anything."

Good!! He's way too young. Is there a reason he isn't nursing still?
Kids have a natural desire to suck until around 6 years old or so
usually. It varies from child to child of course, but it's very
natural to have a strong desire to suck at that age.
I can't imagine trying to wean a baby that young.

In other countries he'd still be getting nursed on demand. Heck, if it
were my child he'd still be getting nursed on demand!!:) I realize
there are real life reasons for not nursing (adoption, health issues
etc...) but the need/desire is still there.

Ren





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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Kathleen and David Gehrke

>Dear Kim ,
Your little one might just have a different
temperment. Some folks are more sensitive and their
nervous systems are more exposed or delicate or
something. I have had children who cried a lot. I just
held them and comforted and realized it was just who
they were. They are very content folks today.
Sometimes comforting was not what they wanted.. That
is okay. There is nothing that says we will all be
happy all the time. Babies have times they are more
fussy. Just keep him close to you. I know this a real
challenge when you have other little ones around. They
really are only little for a tiny while, let the dirt
pile up and snuggle the babies. Have hubby pitch in
and help get the house stuff done when the kids are
down for the night. Also try to stay relaxed. Babies
are so sensitive to our signals and emotions and
especially evenning tends to get to be a busy time for
lots of us.
Do not panic about your guy who wants his bottle. I
liked getting special cups from the dollar store, you
know ones with Santas at Christmas, whatever. Then at
meal times have the cups out. He will ask when he
wants one. It is fun to use theme cups for the older
kids too. My kids still want them. And my little ones
generally do not want to be far behind the older ones.
No pressure from you just the availability of another
option.
Kim are you interested in moving towards unschooling?
Just Curious,
Kathleen
"Your focus is your reality" Qui Gon Jin or however
you spell his name.. <G>

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Sandra Dodd

On Dec 29, 2005, at 7:22 PM, Kathleen and David Gehrke wrote:

> Just keep him close to you. I know this a real
> challenge when you have other little ones around. They
> really are only little for a tiny while, let the dirt
> pile up and snuggle the babies.

=================================

Really good advice. The more patient and giving you can be now, the
sooner it will be better, I think.

My kids all really liked backpacks. Some moms can use a Snuggli or
the equivalent kind of sling even with bigger kids, but I never got
the hang of it. But I did use an aluminum frame backpack like people
use for hiking, and would just carry a baby around that way lots of
times. They can see what's going on, and they can touch you and see
you and feel your heart beating. If one fell asleep up there I'd
take the pack off and get them safe and comfortable, sometimes not
even taking them out (it had a stand that could be folded out).

Children who need more closeness just need more closeness.

If you don't already sleep with him, maybe try that. If he doesn't
take a bath with you, maybe do that. The more touch and togetherness
you can manage, the sooner he'll have enough.

Sandra

jenstarc4

> And as I said, I am in no hurry to get him off the bottle, I just
was hoping
> he would start using a cup a little, he just rejects it so
strongly.
>

Just curious, why do you want him to use a cup? I was kind of the
opposite, I really tried to hold off on the cups because frankly
bottles are sooo much less messy and drippy. Then when I thought we
should try some other options, I found a nipple for a bottle that
was shaped like a sippy cup thing only soft like the bottle
nipples. It was a great transition from a bottle to a sippy cup.
My 4 yo still uses bottles and sippy cups, but also likes straws a
lot. Its always good to keep your options open! She has chewed
little holes in most of her bottle nipples and likes certain holy
ones better than others based on how she's chewed through them. For
a while I thought that the nipples were just getting old and wearing
out and I was throwing them away and getting new ones. Well, she
didn't like those ones, she liked the ones with her little chew
holes.

Sooo, kids just know what they want, the trick is figuring out what
it is they want if they can't tell you. I also strogly agree with
those who said, give more of yourself to the little guy and then he
won't feel so needy. I know how hard that is! I had a very needy
one too.

Kim J. Flowers

Well, I guess it seems like something he should eventually learn how to
do....I am just offering.

And I guess I wasn't clear in my other posts, but I do NOT let him cry, I
hold him or sit with him when he wants me too. The only time he is not
completely attached to my body is when he is sleeping. So I don't think I
could give him more of myself. He has my whole self all the time, because I
do want him to feel secure.

Kim Flowers - Wife to Nolan for 10 years
Stay at Home Mama of 4 wonderful boys
"I would rather have someone hate me for who I am than like me for who
I am not".


_____

From: [email protected]
[mailto:[email protected]] On Behalf Of jenstarc4
Sent: Friday, December 30, 2005 10:48 PM
To: [email protected]
Subject: [UnschoolingDiscussion] Re: Couple mommy questions...


> And as I said, I am in no hurry to get him off the bottle, I just
was hoping
> he would start using a cup a little, he just rejects it so
strongly.
>

Just curious, why do you want him to use a cup? I was kind of the
opposite, I really tried to hold off on the cups because frankly
bottles are sooo much less messy and drippy. Then when I thought we
should try some other options, I found a nipple for a bottle that
was shaped like a sippy cup thing only soft like the bottle
nipples. It was a great transition from a bottle to a sippy cup.
My 4 yo still uses bottles and sippy cups, but also likes straws a
lot. Its always good to keep your options open! She has chewed
little holes in most of her bottle nipples and likes certain holy
ones better than others based on how she's chewed through them. For
a while I thought that the nipples were just getting old and wearing
out and I was throwing them away and getting new ones. Well, she
didn't like those ones, she liked the ones with her little chew
holes.

Sooo, kids just know what they want, the trick is figuring out what
it is they want if they can't tell you. I also strogly agree with
those who said, give more of yourself to the little guy and then he
won't feel so needy. I know how hard that is! I had a very needy
one too.





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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Betsy Hill

** Well, I guess it seems like something he should eventually learn how to
do....I am just offering.**

I think you are referring to drinking out of a cup?

Let's step back for a minute. I think it's a generally accepted
unschooling idea that *kids can and will learn things when they are
ready** (and interested). It helps unschooling flourish if you and I
believe that our kids can and will learn necessary skills and don't need
us to push them past their resistance. "Respect the resistance", I say.

I think there's a real hang-up in our culture about getting kids to do
things at the youngest possible ages. Letting go of that will help
unschooling in general, I believe.

Betsy

Mary

When my kids were little and attached to a bottle, I found these bottle
straws that insert into the nipple of the bottle. That way the child doesn't
have to hold the bottle upside down to drink. They work great and me and the
kids loved them!

Mary

-----Original Message-----
From: [email protected]
[mailto:[email protected]] On Behalf Of Kim J. Flowers
Sent: Thursday, December 29, 2005 8:09 PM
To: [email protected]
Subject: RE: [UnschoolingDiscussion] Couple mommy questions...

Well, I was only able to nurse for a little while after he was born because
of some meds I had to take (long term). I had no choice. I really wish I
was still nursing.
And as I said, I am in no hurry to get him off the bottle, I just was hoping
he would start using a cup a little, he just rejects it so strongly.

Kim Flowers - Wife to Nolan for 10 years
Stay at Home Mama of 4 wonderful boys
"I would rather have someone hate me for who I am than like me for who
I am not".


_____

From: [email protected]
[mailto:[email protected]] On Behalf Of Ren Allen
Sent: Thursday, December 29, 2005 6:22 PM
To: [email protected]
Subject: [UnschoolingDiscussion] Couple mommy questions...


" He
simply won't do it and I don't want to force him or anything."

Good!! He's way too young. Is there a reason he isn't nursing still?
Kids have a natural desire to suck until around 6 years old or so
usually. It varies from child to child of course, but it's very
natural to have a strong desire to suck at that age.
I can't imagine trying to wean a baby that young.

In other countries he'd still be getting nursed on demand. Heck, if it
were my child he'd still be getting nursed on demand!!:) I realize
there are real life reasons for not nursing (adoption, health issues
etc...) but the need/desire is still there.

Ren





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