dannmarys

HI all,

I am a long time lurker, rare poster and was hoping you all could give
me some advice. I was contacted today by a friend of a friend who
wants to do a story on hsing in our city's monthly magazine. Her
exact words were:

"Indianapolis Monthy wants me to feature five or six families that
homeschool....very different families who homeschool differently and
for different reasons (religious, intellectual, special needs, etc.)

Would you help me find some good folks? The articles will be very
short with a picture so I am seeking people who are passionate and
blunt about what they do, even if it alarms mainstream folks."


I am excited about the opportunity to share the ideas of unschooling,
but worry about bringing unwanted attention to my family. I know that
some of you on these boards have "outed" your lifestyle in articles
and such and was wondering if there were any negative ramifications.

A couple of things that cross my mind are that Indiana is a VERY easy
state to hs in and I keep thinking that sooner or later someone is
going to start a campaign to regulate hsing more in our state and
don't want to give them ammo. Also, my youngest wants to try school
so, unless she changes her mind before then, she will be going to
first grade in our local public school. I don't live in Indy but
close enough that it is very probable that some of those at this
school will read this article.

Any advice would be appreciated.

Mary

Pam Sorooshian

On Jul 6, 2005, at 5:32 PM, dannmarys wrote:

> I know that
> some of you on these boards have "outed" your lifestyle in articles
> and such and was wondering if there were any negative ramifications.

LOL - we were once "outed" on the floor of the U.S. House of
Representatives in a speech by our congressperson.

I've newspaper and magazine interviews, been on local tv a few times
and national tv once.

No negative repercussions of any kind.

-pam

[email protected]

-----Original Message-----
From: dannmarys <marydan@...>

"Indianapolis Monthy wants me to feature five or six families that
homeschool....very different families who homeschool differently and
for different reasons (religious, intellectual, special needs, etc.)

Would you help me find some good folks? The articles will be very
short with a picture so I am seeking people who are passionate and
blunt about what they do, even if it alarms mainstream folks."


Any advice would be appreciated.

-=-=-=-=-=-=


Unless you are VERY, VERY, VERY, VERY comfortable and confident in
unschooling and its accompanying lifestyle, I wouldn't do it.

*I* have no problem being quite vocal about our decision to unschool,
and my car is a rolling advertisement for unschooling. BUT---unless you
exude confidence, unschooling can come across as stupid and neglectful,
and an interview can do more harm than good. If you KNOW what you're
doing is right and you can explain it well, go for it. If you're
wavering or the slightest bit unsure, I'd avoid it.

Journalists love sensationalism, and it could be that that's her angle.
She actually uses the words, "blunt" and "alarms." That could be a
signal! <g>


~Kelly



Kelly Lovejoy
Conference Coordinator
Live and Learn Unschooling Conference
October 6-9, 2005
http://liveandlearnconference.org

[email protected]

In a message dated 7/6/05 11:34:17 PM, pamsoroosh@... writes:


>
> >  I know that
> > some of you on these boards have "outed" your lifestyle in articles
> > and such and was wondering if there were any negative ramifications.
>

I've always been "out there," and haven't had problems, but each person's
circumstances are different, and some towns or states might have a crazy person
lurking and wanting to cause trouble, or someone's neighbor might be itchin' to
call authorities. I can't say that just because I haven't had problems that
others might not.

My worst problems have been with journalists and their insensitivity and
ignorance. Their story isn't as important as your life, so if it makes you
uncomfortable or you just simply don't want to mess with it, just say no. The
stress won't do you and your kids any good, and the odds are small that their
article will make a big positive change in the world.

Sandra


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dannmarys

> Unless you are VERY, VERY, VERY, VERY comfortable and confident in
> unschooling and its accompanying lifestyle, I wouldn't do it.


I would say that I am about two and a half veries worth of
comfortable and confident--lol. I have been doing this about four
years and it is only in the last year and a half or so that I have
been totally comfortable telling other hsers we unschool. I always
said unschooling when pressed to identify a style but usually
avoided having to do so and was always a little anxious about it.
Now, I no longer worry about what other hsers think and will respond
to questions (expecially from newcomers) from an unschooling
perspective.



>If you KNOW what you're
> doing is right and you can explain it well, go for it. If you're
> wavering or the slightest bit unsure, I'd avoid it.


My lack of confidence doesn't come from a wavering belief in the
philosophy of unschooling but in my ability to do it as well as it
should be done. I can explain it well and passionately to people
but I doubt the ability of a journalist who is just learning about
it to explain it sufficiently in 250 words.

>
> Journalists love sensationalism, and it could be that that's her
angle.
> She actually uses the words, "blunt" and "alarms." That could be a
> signal! <g>
>

Those words concerned me a bit too. But, she is a friend of a friend
and I thought that she would be less likely to diss a friend of a
friend. I spoke to her today and explained it to her--I am not sure
how well she got it. I told her I would help get the word out to the
hs community that she was looking for people and she asked if we
would be the unschooling family and I told her yes (mostly because
my kids are excited about the idea). But, I haven't been at peace
about it and my husband called about an hour ago and said he was
having second thoughts too--he was a little worried from her word
choice too that she is looking to stir up controversy.

I think Sandra is right when she said that the stress on my family
isn't worth the small chance that it will make much of a
difference. I will be telling her we change our mind.


Thanks,

Mary

arcarpenter2003

--- In [email protected], "dannmarys"
<marydan@a...> wrote:
==I can explain it well and passionately to people
> but I doubt the ability of a journalist who is just learning about
> it to explain it sufficiently in 250 words. ==

If you do decide to go with the interview, you could write down your
"sound bites" and practice them, so you have them to fall back on.
Writing them down will help you condense your viewpoint and keep you
very succinct and "on message."

== the stress on my family
> isn't worth the small chance that it will make much of a
> difference. ==

That's fair. Unschooling will be around later, too, and there will be
more chances to write and speak and have your message heard.

Peace,
Amy

Elizabeth Hill

**

Unless you are VERY, VERY, VERY, VERY comfortable and confident in unschooling and its accompanying lifestyle, I wouldn't do it. **

Someone with either all kids grown or some kids grown might be in the safest position to be the unschooling poster family. If their methods sound crazy to outsiders, one can simply point out the results.

Betsy

wifetovegman2002

--- In [email protected], "dannmarys"
<marydan@a...> wrote:

> I am excited about the opportunity to share the ideas of unschooling,
> but worry about bringing unwanted attention to my family. I know that
> some of you on these boards have "outed" your lifestyle in articles
> and such and was wondering if there were any negative ramifications.


Are you homeschooling legally in your state? That would be one of the
first considerations. If you are "underground", then you might not
want the attention. Otherwise, there really is no harm in it and it
helps other homeschoolers in your state.


> A couple of things that cross my mind are that Indiana is a VERY easy
> state to hs in and I keep thinking that sooner or later someone is
> going to start a campaign to regulate hsing more in our state and
> don't want to give them ammo.


I don't think showing your family loving and learning together is
going to give anyone "ammo", unless that is the motivation for the
article all along. Reporters always have some sort of POV they are
trying to support with the types of people they choose to interview.

Ask some questions and get some idea about why they are writing the
article, and what they hope to show the general public.

> Also, my youngest wants to try school
> so, unless she changes her mind before then, she will be going to
> first grade in our local public school. I don't live in Indy but
> close enough that it is very probable that some of those at this
> school will read this article.


I doubt anyone will remember a little girl in an article written 3 or
4 or 5 weeks before school starts. They will have their hands full
with all the first graders and getting them used to being at school
all day and teaching them to read and add and subtract and stay in
line and stop giggling and to come running when the playground monitor
blows her whistle.

~Susan (wifetovegman)

nellebelle

>>>>>>>>>>Also, my youngest wants to try school
> so, unless she changes her mind before then, she will be going to
> first grade in our local public school.>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

I could be way off base, but this raises a red flag for me. If your homeschooling/unschooling lifestyle is working so well, why does your child want to go to first grade?

Although I understand some of the various reasons that homeschooled kids might want to "try" school, I think it might, to outsiders, reinforce the idea that most kids either need to or would prefer to spend the day in school with others their age, rather than at home with mom and siblings. I say this with some personal experience, as my homeschooled since age 5 dd decided to check out 6th grade last fall. I think the issues with young children "trying" school are quite different than for a child who has been unschooled for many of their school-age years.

Mary Ellen

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Elizabeth Hill

**

I don't think showing your family loving and learning together is
going to give anyone "ammo", unless that is the motivation for the
article all along. **

I wouldn't underestimate the meddlesomeness and narrow thinking of other people.

Here in CA, I've run across more than one person who was surprised to find out that homeschoolers (including unschoolers) don't have to take standardized tests. The fact that I could plainly state that kids in private schools here are also not required by law to take those tests didn't reassure them at all. These people *believed *that conventional testing was worthwhile and necessary to verify the quality of education. (I disagree strongly.)

(There was a David Albert article years ago in HEM, with sample questions from his (elder) daughter's 4th or 5th grade Social Studies test. Does anyone remember this article or know if it is available online? I thought the sample questions, about the Civil War, really made the test look silly.)

Betsy

dannmarys

> > Also, my youngest wants to try school
> > so, unless she changes her mind before then, she will be going to
> > first grade in our local public school. I don't live in Indy but
> > close enough that it is very probable that some of those at this
> > school will read this article.
>
>
> I doubt anyone will remember a little girl in an article written 3 or
> 4 or 5 weeks before school starts. They will have their hands full
> with all the first graders and getting them used to being at school
> all day and teaching them to read and add and subtract and stay in
> line and stop giggling and to come running when the playground
monitor
> blows her whistle.
>
> ~Susan (wifetovegman)


I live in a small town about 15 miles outside of Indy. School starts
Aug. 17 and the article won't run for a couple of weeks. If I worked
in the school system and I saw this article, I would read it. And, if
someone mentioned in the article was from my town, I would take
special note and if they showed up at my school or in my classroom
less than a month later, I would remember.

I used to teach, so I know that, no matter how much an educator tries
to guard against it, if a parent is seen as a "problem", this can
negatively effect attitudes toward the child. Some people are very
good at treating the child fairly in spite of this and others,
frankly, suck at it. Now, they will know we hs and I will have no
problem being up-front with her teacher about what I think about
school and its methods should the need arise--I imagine I will be one
of the most involved, non-invested parents they have ever seen. But I
would rather not have them know that I think most of what they do is
counterproductive and a waste of time before they even get a chance to
know her.


Mary

dannmarys

> I could be way off base, but this raises a red flag for me. If
your homeschooling/unschooling lifestyle is working so well, why
does your child want to go to first grade?
>
> Although I understand some of the various reasons that
homeschooled kids might want to "try" school, I think it might, to
outsiders, reinforce the idea that most kids either need to or would
prefer to spend the day in school with others their age, rather than
at home with mom and siblings.

Yeah, I thought of this too.

>I say this with some personal experience, as my homeschooled since
>age 5 dd decided to check out 6th grade last fall. I think the
>issues with young children "trying" school are quite different than
>for a child who has been unschooled for many of their school-age
>years.


Would you mind sharing how it went for her and elaboritng on the
differing issues?


Mary

[email protected]

In a message dated 7/8/05 12:44:14 PM, marydan@... writes:


> Now, they will know we hs
>

But if your child goes to school, you wont' be homeschooling.

I think it would be better for everyone involved if the families interviewed
have several years of experience with homeschooling, and here again is where
my personal view that children who aren't school-aged can't be really
homeschooled in ANY fashion kicks back in. A child who starts school in first grade
can't really be said to have ever homeschooled. Even if kindergarten is
"mandatory," it's not mandatory everywhere. If a child moves from a
non-kindergarten-requiring place to one where it's "mandatory," she doesn't have to go to
kindergarten before first grade.

Let's move the discussion back to how people learn. It's getting too far
from unschooling.

Thanks.

Sandra


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