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In a message dated 3/31/05 9:24:44 AM, ddzimlew@... writes:

<< I trust Dylan can ask about slaughterhouses when he wants to know. I
trust if he never wants to know, then that's all right for him. >>

I hid something from my kids, in a way.
Something they might've been ready for or not, but I figured it could wait,
given our circumstances and where we live and their particular circle of
friends.

I have not rented or mentioned the mini-series Roots.
They'll probably discover it someday, and now that I've named it, one of them
might ask within the week.

Even though they're big fans of LaVar Burton and Lou Gossett, Jr., and even
though I usually bring up lots of connections, that one has been left where it
is until they discover it, or later.

Because of the people my kids have met and the way they've been exposed (and
blissfully not exposed more often) to the history of race relations and
cultural prejudices, they have each individually thought that anyone who made
blanket prejudiced statements against someone for being Hispanic or Black or Asian
was just stupid and not very nice. That has worked out better for them than I
think things have worked for some other families I know in which the children
are steeped in prejudice or too-much-detail history or the too-much-detail
explanation for why people might not be nice to them. Rather than justify and
rationalize others' prejudices, they simply see prejudice as massively wrong
and unfair. Not understandable, but something people should get over and not
condone.

As they've gotten older and heard jokes and met people who would say tacky
stuff, they've asked sometimes, but usually it's "Why would he think that?" and
I give short answers, like "Maybe his parents say things like that a lot," or
"Maybe his cousins aren't all Trujillos like yours are."

I realize it's a luxury we have for living in a more homogenous part of the
country, and that probably in MOST parts of the country I couldn't have pulled
this off.

Someday when any of them sees Roots, he or she won't have to ask why I never
showed them. They'll know.

Sandra

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Just a little personal comment on this.
Oh, how I wish I had been shielded from Roots at least for a little while. At about 8, I watched without a parent in sight and was traumatised. There are still scenes stuck inside my 40-year-old adult head that I may have been better off never having seen, or at least not alone at 8.
Tess

-------------- Original message --------------
Sandra wrote:
>
>> I hid something from my kids, in a way.
> Something they might've been ready for or not, but I figured it could wait,
> given our circumstances and where we live and their particular circle of
> friends.
>
> I have not rented or mentioned the mini-series Roots.
> They'll probably discover it someday, and now that I've named it, one of them
> might ask within the week.
>

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Pam Sorooshian

On Mar 31, 2005, at 11:28 AM, SandraDodd@... wrote:

>
> I hid something from my kids, in a way.
> Something they might've been ready for or not, but I figured it could
> wait,
> given our circumstances and where we live and their particular circle
> of
> friends.
>
> I have not rented or mentioned the mini-series Roots.

Me too. We actually have it recorded but it is put away out of sight.
Not hidden, but not really something they'll run across easily, either.
I wanted them to watch it when they could put it into perspective.

> They'll probably discover it someday, and now that I've named it, one
> of them
> might ask within the week.
Well- more than likely they will. One of those coincidences, but one of
Rosie's friends was reading it a few weeks ago and told Rosie she
really "should" read it - so she's got it out of the library right now.
She told me there is a miniseries and she said the library has it and
she wants to watch it. So - since Rosie talks to Sandra's kids, they're
probably going to hear about it one of these days from her. Maybe. If
so - sorry about that. I think Rosie could wait on it a while longer,
but Roya and Roxana would probably get a lot out of it and they have
the perspective to handle it.

-pam

Elizabeth Hill

**Well- more than likely they will. One of those coincidences, but one
of Rosie's friends was reading it a few weeks ago and told Rosie she
really "should" read it - so she's got it out of the library right now.
She told me there is a miniseries and she said the library has it and
she wants to watch it.**

I have a counter-suggestion, or supplemental suggestion.

I remember not watching Roots when it was aired when I was in Jr. High. My mom couldn't stand to watch anything emotionally distressing. Later, when I read the book, the descriptions of the conditions on the slave ship were the most disturbing part for me.

Anyway, a less graphic book, but one that may be better written, is Octavia Butler's book _Kindred_. It starts in present-day L.A. and deals with a woman being repeatedly pulled back in time to live with her enslaved ancestors (and her white slave-owning ancestors, too).

I suppose reading Uncle Tom's Cabin would be of historical interest. (Have you guys watched The King and I and connected to this story that way?)

Betsy

PS I've been speculating about what would be a reasonable age to expose my kid (almost 11) to Hotel Rwanda or Schindler's List. I've seen the latter, but not the former.

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In a message dated 3/31/05 6:26:23 PM, ecsamhill@... writes:

<< PS I've been speculating about what would be a reasonable age to expose
my kid (almost 11) to Hotel Rwanda or Schindler's List. I've seen the latter,
but not the former. >>

I'm 52 and haven't watched either, and probably won't.
I'm not going to expose my kids to those either.
I also wouldn't way "NO" if they wanted to watch them without me, with others.

They know as much of Uncle Tom's Cabin as one learns from knowing The King
and I.

Sandra

Pam Sorooshian

On Mar 31, 2005, at 5:27 PM, Elizabeth Hill wrote:

> I suppose reading Uncle Tom's Cabin would be of historical interest.
> (Have you guys watched The King and I and connected to this story that
> way?)

Yes. We saw The King and I live 2 or 3 years ago - and both Rox and
Rosie decided to read Uncle Tom's Cabin at that time. I'm not sure if
either of them actually got through the whole book -- but they both
carried it around for a while <G>.

Thanks for the book suggestion - sounds good.

-pam

averyschmidt

> Oh, how I wish I had been shielded from Roots at least for a
little while. At about 8, I watched without a parent in sight and
was traumatised. There are still scenes stuck inside my 40-year-old
adult head that I may have been better off never having seen, or at
least not alone at 8.

But there is a lot of gray area between shielding and forcing a
child to watch it alone. My husband and I both had good memories of
watching Roots as children. It had a lasting effect on me,
personally, but not in a bad or traumatized way. Perhaps it was my
personality (and I think I was older than 8) or perhaps it was
because I didn't have to watch it alone without adult input.

My husband and I recently got the first part of Roots from Netflix
and our children were welcome to watch it with us or not. My 9yo,
who often chooses not to see anything blatantly violent, was fine
with watching it. I warned him about the part that I personally
find the most disturbing- which is the part where Kunta Kinte gets
whipped until he says his name is Toby- and I let him know when it
was coming so he could leave the room or close his eyes. He's very
aware of what he can handle and what he can't. He wanted no part of
The Passion of the Christ when his stronger-stomached older brother
watched it.

As far as perspective on slavery- we had not too long ago read a
book together called How I Found the Strong about a boy who helps a
runaway slave, which my sons found fascinating and which led to lots
of discussion, so maybe the timing for them just happened to be
right.

My 9yo, the one I was most concerned about, was the most
disappointed of all of us that parts 2 and 3 were damaged and no
longer available from netflix.

Patti