This is my first post...
homebody_momma
My name is Jill, I have four kids (7yo boy, 5 1/2yo girl,
2 1/2yo boy and 2mos boy). When the older two were babies, the
thought of school never sat well with me. I looked into
homeschooling and thought that would be the path we would take
(without the support of my family, of course). Then I found out
about a Charter School, without going into detail, it sounded good
to me at that point. We got in (they hold a lottery) and right now,
my oldest two kids are enrolled there (1st grade and K). It's not
what I thought it would be. (Surprise, surprise!) They have an
open door policy, encourage parent participation as much as possible
and emphasize community, especially in the school. Grades are mixed
and they profess hands on activities. It is better than a public
school. But not good enough. I guess I fooled myself into thinking
the school would be able to teach my kids better than them learning
on their own. I have two other kids now, that makes it impossible
for me to be as involved as I want to be. We've been planning on
hsing for high school because the school only goes up to 8th grade,
so the kids are familiar with the idea of it. They ask how much
longer (until they can hs). They tell me they like school, but
would rather stay home. I dread getting up mornings, we yell and
get a rather harsh start just about every day (my dd has tactile
issues and getting dressed is a fiasco, especially under
pressure!). I love the idea of unschooling, it just fits so well
with my relaxed attitude :) (Although my mother calls it
irresponsible...) The kids do enjoy going to school, so I think we
are going to finish up the year and just not go back next year.
I'm looking forward to the freedom, all aspects of it. Unschooling
will allow us to live "our" way. I'm looking forward to the kids
knowing their own limits, eating and sleeping for example. I'm
concerned about bedtimes though, and how that will work. I want
them to go to bed when they need to, but with 4 small kids, after
they are in bed is the only alone time I get with my husband. Can
anyone offer suggestions on how to have the unwinding time (as much
as I love hanging out with my kids, I look forward to my quiet time
every night). Would it squelch their ability to distinguish when
they are tired if we designate quiet time after a certain hour?
Whew, that was longer than I thought it would be! Thanks for
reading. I'm looking forward to hearing your thoughts :)
Jill
2 1/2yo boy and 2mos boy). When the older two were babies, the
thought of school never sat well with me. I looked into
homeschooling and thought that would be the path we would take
(without the support of my family, of course). Then I found out
about a Charter School, without going into detail, it sounded good
to me at that point. We got in (they hold a lottery) and right now,
my oldest two kids are enrolled there (1st grade and K). It's not
what I thought it would be. (Surprise, surprise!) They have an
open door policy, encourage parent participation as much as possible
and emphasize community, especially in the school. Grades are mixed
and they profess hands on activities. It is better than a public
school. But not good enough. I guess I fooled myself into thinking
the school would be able to teach my kids better than them learning
on their own. I have two other kids now, that makes it impossible
for me to be as involved as I want to be. We've been planning on
hsing for high school because the school only goes up to 8th grade,
so the kids are familiar with the idea of it. They ask how much
longer (until they can hs). They tell me they like school, but
would rather stay home. I dread getting up mornings, we yell and
get a rather harsh start just about every day (my dd has tactile
issues and getting dressed is a fiasco, especially under
pressure!). I love the idea of unschooling, it just fits so well
with my relaxed attitude :) (Although my mother calls it
irresponsible...) The kids do enjoy going to school, so I think we
are going to finish up the year and just not go back next year.
I'm looking forward to the freedom, all aspects of it. Unschooling
will allow us to live "our" way. I'm looking forward to the kids
knowing their own limits, eating and sleeping for example. I'm
concerned about bedtimes though, and how that will work. I want
them to go to bed when they need to, but with 4 small kids, after
they are in bed is the only alone time I get with my husband. Can
anyone offer suggestions on how to have the unwinding time (as much
as I love hanging out with my kids, I look forward to my quiet time
every night). Would it squelch their ability to distinguish when
they are tired if we designate quiet time after a certain hour?
Whew, that was longer than I thought it would be! Thanks for
reading. I'm looking forward to hearing your thoughts :)
Jill
Barbara Chase
>They tell me they like school, but would rather stay home. I dreadHi Jill,
>getting up mornings, we yell and get a rather harsh start just about every
>day
>
>The kids do enjoy going to school, so I think we are going to finish up
>the year and just not go back next year.
How about just not go to school when your kids don't want to go... let them
stay home when they want to, and go when they want to. [I don't know...
maybe this has become illegal or something... but when I was in school if I
had a note from my parent it didn't matter how much school I missed.] See
what that's like rather than waiting until Summer and continuing with all
of the arguments. You say they like school, so perhaps they would like to
go if it's really their choice. Or, maybe you will discover that staying
home really works out great and you didn't have to wait after all.
Mahalo,
Barbara
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[email protected]
In a message dated 1/27/05 2:01:41 AM, homebody_momma@... writes:
<< They ask how much
longer (until they can hs). They tell me they like school, but
would rather stay home. >>
So? Why did they go today? (if they did)
Would another family LOVE to have their places? Can kids join at this time
of the year? Do they have a waiting list even during the schoolyear?
-=-I dread getting up mornings, we yell and
get a rather harsh start just about every day-=-
That builds up and builds up in one's life and relationship and soul.
-=-(Although my mother calls it irresponsible...) -=-
I'm assuming you're over 21, though, and can tell your mother to give it a
few years and not to micromanage your life.
-=-The kids do enjoy going to school, so I think we
are going to finish up the year and just not go back next year. -=-
If one had a terminal disease, would you finish the schoolyear?
If every day at school they administered a little bit of poison that was
building up and would have be detoxified or treated, would you finish the
schoolyear?
-=-I'm looking forward to the freedom, all aspects of it. Unschooling
will allow us to live "our" way. -=-
You're living your way now. You're choosing the rough mornings and the
desire for what you don't have.
Why look forward to living your life your way when you could be doing it now?
-=-I'm looking forward to the kids
knowing their own limits, eating and sleeping for example. -=-
Meanwhile, they're learning other lessons that will have to be unlearned.
-=- I'm
concerned about bedtimes though, and how that will work. I want
them to go to bed when they need to, but with 4 small kids, after
they are in bed is the only alone time I get with my husband. -=-
You could say they need to be in bed but they don't have to be asleep. Make
it easy for them to listen to tapes or CDS (books on tape or music) or to
watch movies to go to sleep.
-=Would it squelch their ability to distinguish when
they are tired if we designate quiet time after a certain hour? -=-
No, I don't think so.
Sheesh, with no quiet time, NOBODY sleeps. But if by quiet you mean silent
and in the dark, yeah that's squelching. I used to be put in my room, told to
go to sleep, and have the light turned off on me. I had lots of nightmares.
My daughter, at 13, has never had a nightmare.
If your kids want to go to school to hang out with their friends, that's a
good reason. If you want them to finish the year because it seems finishing a
year is the way life should be, that's not a good reason.
http://sandradodd.com/empowerment
Sandra
<< They ask how much
longer (until they can hs). They tell me they like school, but
would rather stay home. >>
So? Why did they go today? (if they did)
Would another family LOVE to have their places? Can kids join at this time
of the year? Do they have a waiting list even during the schoolyear?
-=-I dread getting up mornings, we yell and
get a rather harsh start just about every day-=-
That builds up and builds up in one's life and relationship and soul.
-=-(Although my mother calls it irresponsible...) -=-
I'm assuming you're over 21, though, and can tell your mother to give it a
few years and not to micromanage your life.
-=-The kids do enjoy going to school, so I think we
are going to finish up the year and just not go back next year. -=-
If one had a terminal disease, would you finish the schoolyear?
If every day at school they administered a little bit of poison that was
building up and would have be detoxified or treated, would you finish the
schoolyear?
-=-I'm looking forward to the freedom, all aspects of it. Unschooling
will allow us to live "our" way. -=-
You're living your way now. You're choosing the rough mornings and the
desire for what you don't have.
Why look forward to living your life your way when you could be doing it now?
-=-I'm looking forward to the kids
knowing their own limits, eating and sleeping for example. -=-
Meanwhile, they're learning other lessons that will have to be unlearned.
-=- I'm
concerned about bedtimes though, and how that will work. I want
them to go to bed when they need to, but with 4 small kids, after
they are in bed is the only alone time I get with my husband. -=-
You could say they need to be in bed but they don't have to be asleep. Make
it easy for them to listen to tapes or CDS (books on tape or music) or to
watch movies to go to sleep.
-=Would it squelch their ability to distinguish when
they are tired if we designate quiet time after a certain hour? -=-
No, I don't think so.
Sheesh, with no quiet time, NOBODY sleeps. But if by quiet you mean silent
and in the dark, yeah that's squelching. I used to be put in my room, told to
go to sleep, and have the light turned off on me. I had lots of nightmares.
My daughter, at 13, has never had a nightmare.
If your kids want to go to school to hang out with their friends, that's a
good reason. If you want them to finish the year because it seems finishing a
year is the way life should be, that's not a good reason.
http://sandradodd.com/empowerment
Sandra
Pamale Teitelbaum
--- homebody_momma <homebody_momma@...> wrote:
your post really resonated with me. We too were
thrilled to get into an alternative school by lottery
in our neck of the woods (Brooklyn, NY) and it didn't
live up to our expectations. My oldest son (8) ended
up falling thru the cracks big time and I began trying
to advocate for him with the Board of Ed. I decided
this past summer that he wasn't going back to school.
I wanted to pull him out in April of last year but
everyone advised me not to as it would limit our
'choices' as we moved forward, blah, blah, blah.
I wish I had listened to my instincts instead of
'everyone'. It would have been two months less
torture for my ds. Your situation sounds a bit
different, but if your kids really want it, you may
want to consider taking them out of school sooner than
later. On the brighter side, the big pluses of their
school experience was that we met some really great
families, most of whom we still see on a regualar
basis.
We had some issues surrounding the bedtime thing as
well (mostly my husband had the issues). The kids
(boys, 8 and 6) were staying up till 1, 2 in the AM
and as a result I was staying up till 3, 4. They
never went to bed early even when they were in school,
but it became a little extreme - even for their
nocturnal momma! So, we had a family discussion about
it, and compromised on a time (for us, 9:45) that the
kids would start to get ready for bed - baths or
showers, brush teeth, pick up their room a bit (with
our help) and pick out books to read or to be read to
them.
All this was decided with the proviso that if they
were involved in something they could take an
additional 15 min or whatever time they needed to
complete it. Also, I made the commitment to be
available to them for a hour to read to them or talk,
sing, whatever, in their room. So at about 11 or so,
I close their door and they can sleep, sit in bed and
read, talk to each other, read to each other, what
have you. They know too that they are always welcome
in our bed if they feel like it. I guess we have more
of a flexible guideline for them to be in their room
and (preferably) in bed than a bedtime. Having this
guideline before it's time for bed really seems to
help them wind down a lot. That way when I gently
remind them that it's 9:30, and then 9;45, they know
they still have lots of time to 'be up' and do some
more stuff. They also know that it's flexible and we
will respect their input and needs if they need to be
up doing something longer.
My kids don't take baths or showers every day, but
when they do at night, I see a big difference in how
relaxed and 'ready' for bed (as in actually sleeping)
they are. Also, my kids sometimes drink tea with me
before bed. They love cocoa spice (yogi tea brand),
but you can make your own with cocoa powder, cinnamon
and/or cardamom, and a little honey and milk. We
never did the hot milk thing, but I can see how that
might be soothing as well.
It's been a few weeks of doing this and has made a
huge difference. We've had no complaints from them
about it what-so-ever and we've all been getting up a
bit earlier (tho-they are never up before 10Am) which
gives us a jump on the day.
Hope this helps. Sorry it got so long
-Pamela, mom to Joshua (8) and Aaron (6)>
Do You Yahoo!?
Tired of spam? Yahoo! Mail has the best spam protection around
http://mail.yahoo.com
>I'm
> concerned about bedtimes though...Cantime) and don't think I've posted here yet. Jill,
> anyone offer suggestions on how to have the
> unwinding time (as much
> as I love hanging out with my kids, I look forward
> to my quiet time
> every night). Would it squelch their ability to
> distinguish when
> they are tired if we designate quiet time after a
> certain hour?
>
>Hi all. I'm fairly new here (been lurking for some
your post really resonated with me. We too were
thrilled to get into an alternative school by lottery
in our neck of the woods (Brooklyn, NY) and it didn't
live up to our expectations. My oldest son (8) ended
up falling thru the cracks big time and I began trying
to advocate for him with the Board of Ed. I decided
this past summer that he wasn't going back to school.
I wanted to pull him out in April of last year but
everyone advised me not to as it would limit our
'choices' as we moved forward, blah, blah, blah.
I wish I had listened to my instincts instead of
'everyone'. It would have been two months less
torture for my ds. Your situation sounds a bit
different, but if your kids really want it, you may
want to consider taking them out of school sooner than
later. On the brighter side, the big pluses of their
school experience was that we met some really great
families, most of whom we still see on a regualar
basis.
We had some issues surrounding the bedtime thing as
well (mostly my husband had the issues). The kids
(boys, 8 and 6) were staying up till 1, 2 in the AM
and as a result I was staying up till 3, 4. They
never went to bed early even when they were in school,
but it became a little extreme - even for their
nocturnal momma! So, we had a family discussion about
it, and compromised on a time (for us, 9:45) that the
kids would start to get ready for bed - baths or
showers, brush teeth, pick up their room a bit (with
our help) and pick out books to read or to be read to
them.
All this was decided with the proviso that if they
were involved in something they could take an
additional 15 min or whatever time they needed to
complete it. Also, I made the commitment to be
available to them for a hour to read to them or talk,
sing, whatever, in their room. So at about 11 or so,
I close their door and they can sleep, sit in bed and
read, talk to each other, read to each other, what
have you. They know too that they are always welcome
in our bed if they feel like it. I guess we have more
of a flexible guideline for them to be in their room
and (preferably) in bed than a bedtime. Having this
guideline before it's time for bed really seems to
help them wind down a lot. That way when I gently
remind them that it's 9:30, and then 9;45, they know
they still have lots of time to 'be up' and do some
more stuff. They also know that it's flexible and we
will respect their input and needs if they need to be
up doing something longer.
My kids don't take baths or showers every day, but
when they do at night, I see a big difference in how
relaxed and 'ready' for bed (as in actually sleeping)
they are. Also, my kids sometimes drink tea with me
before bed. They love cocoa spice (yogi tea brand),
but you can make your own with cocoa powder, cinnamon
and/or cardamom, and a little honey and milk. We
never did the hot milk thing, but I can see how that
might be soothing as well.
It's been a few weeks of doing this and has made a
huge difference. We've had no complaints from them
about it what-so-ever and we've all been getting up a
bit earlier (tho-they are never up before 10Am) which
gives us a jump on the day.
Hope this helps. Sorry it got so long
-Pamela, mom to Joshua (8) and Aaron (6)>
>__________________________________________________
>
>
>
>
>
Do You Yahoo!?
Tired of spam? Yahoo! Mail has the best spam protection around
http://mail.yahoo.com
Leah
"How about just not go to school when your kids don't want to go... let
them
stay home when they want to, and go when they want to"
I've not posted before, but just wanted to note that in our state a
parent can be charged for their child's truancy. If a child misses too
many days the parent can end up on probation! Unbelievable. So, I
pulled my son out of their school. lol
Leah (Warren, MI)
-----Original Message-----
From: Barbara Chase [mailto:barb@...]
Sent: Thursday, January 27, 2005 4:26 AM
To: [email protected]
Subject: Re: [UnschoolingDiscussion] This is my first post...
How about just not go to school when your kids don't want to go... let
them
stay home when they want to, and go when they want to. [I don't know...
maybe this has become illegal or something... but when I was in school
if I
had a note from my parent it didn't matter how much school I missed.]
See
what that's like rather than waiting until Summer and continuing with
all
of the arguments. You say they like school, so perhaps they would like
to
go if it's really their choice. Or, maybe you will discover that
staying
home really works out great and you didn't have to wait after all.
Mahalo,
Barbara
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
"List Posting Policies" are provided in the files area of this group.
Visit the Unschooling website and message boards:
http://www.unschooling.com
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Yahoo! Groups Links
* To visit your group on the web, go to:
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* To unsubscribe from this group, send an email to:
[email protected]
<mailto:[email protected]?subject=Unsubs
cribe>
* Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to the Yahoo! Terms of
Service <http://docs.yahoo.com/info/terms/> .
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
them
stay home when they want to, and go when they want to"
I've not posted before, but just wanted to note that in our state a
parent can be charged for their child's truancy. If a child misses too
many days the parent can end up on probation! Unbelievable. So, I
pulled my son out of their school. lol
Leah (Warren, MI)
-----Original Message-----
From: Barbara Chase [mailto:barb@...]
Sent: Thursday, January 27, 2005 4:26 AM
To: [email protected]
Subject: Re: [UnschoolingDiscussion] This is my first post...
>They tell me they like school, but would rather stay home. I dreadevery
>getting up mornings, we yell and get a rather harsh start just about
>dayHi Jill,
>
>The kids do enjoy going to school, so I think we are going to finish up
>the year and just not go back next year.
How about just not go to school when your kids don't want to go... let
them
stay home when they want to, and go when they want to. [I don't know...
maybe this has become illegal or something... but when I was in school
if I
had a note from my parent it didn't matter how much school I missed.]
See
what that's like rather than waiting until Summer and continuing with
all
of the arguments. You say they like school, so perhaps they would like
to
go if it's really their choice. Or, maybe you will discover that
staying
home really works out great and you didn't have to wait after all.
Mahalo,
Barbara
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
"List Posting Policies" are provided in the files area of this group.
Visit the Unschooling website and message boards:
http://www.unschooling.com
_____
Yahoo! Groups Links
* To visit your group on the web, go to:
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/UnschoolingDiscussion/
* To unsubscribe from this group, send an email to:
[email protected]
<mailto:[email protected]?subject=Unsubs
cribe>
* Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to the Yahoo! Terms of
Service <http://docs.yahoo.com/info/terms/> .
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[email protected]
In a message dated 1/27/2005 3:58:37 AM Eastern Standard Time,
homebody_momma@... writes:
Kindergarten last year. My ds was happy and having a great time. Kindergarten
was playtime to him and he wanted to stay. They were having holiday parties and
plays, and he was in art class. An award party for advanced readers, and
tons of fun things. He wasn't ready to leave. I was ready for him to leave, I
had regained my confidence to live the way we always had. School was hard on
our family, and we definitely never had much of a schedule and that was a real
challenge.
We all talked about it and he knew what life was like before. He didn't
really like getting up at the same time everyday, or missing out on shopping and
parks and all that. Playing with his brother, being with us. He didn't like
when the teachers made him wait to do things because other kids didn't know how
and they needed help first or when they counldn't go outside on gorgeous days
cuz the teachers had things to do. So unless it was FUN, he wasn't thrilled.
He chose to stay in with the option of staying home whenever he wanted. He
felt good to finish the year and so did I (sort of). We set aside our true
living for many months and I can never get that back.
He hasn't really mentioned school since the end of last year.
If your kids are choosing to stay in and see it as fun and social, awesome.
But if it's a struggle in the mornings and the yelling kinda gets you all off
on the wrong foot, then I'd end it now. Unlearn all that's not needed and
recapture what life was like before schooling. Enjoy them now in all their
freedom and innocence. I knew what that was before kindergarten and boy!!! do I
appreciate it soooo much more now that it's over.
As for bedtimes, get a "winding down for the day" routine going. Baths,
reading stories, or whatever gets everyone in a lazy, comfy mood. Our 3 year old
is a fantastic snoozer so he usually tells us when he's ready. He'll ask if
it's naptime yet. As for our 7 year old, he loves reading time and he likes
to lay in our bed and watch TV, sometimes with us or while we're in the living
room watchin' our own stuff. But he is usually ready by 10 or so. He'll play
his gameboy or watch videos on it until he's alseep. I think the key is that
if they want to stay up, they can. We just ask that it's quiet when we are
in bed. They know daddy has to work. They know I like to take short naps
sometimes during the day. We have always made an effort to do quiet things if
someone in the house is resting and that just extends into the night too.
You have a toddler and a newborn too. So sleep is essential for you when you
can get it. Make it a point that staying up is their choice but once you and
your hubby are in bed or the little ones are in bed for the night, that it is
time for quiet activities. But I would definitely get jammies on and all
that. That seems to help with winding down.
HTH
Pamela
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
homebody_momma@... writes:
> The kids do enjoy going to school, so I think weJill, I can appreciate where you are coming from because we went through
> are going to finish up the year and just not go back next year.
Kindergarten last year. My ds was happy and having a great time. Kindergarten
was playtime to him and he wanted to stay. They were having holiday parties and
plays, and he was in art class. An award party for advanced readers, and
tons of fun things. He wasn't ready to leave. I was ready for him to leave, I
had regained my confidence to live the way we always had. School was hard on
our family, and we definitely never had much of a schedule and that was a real
challenge.
We all talked about it and he knew what life was like before. He didn't
really like getting up at the same time everyday, or missing out on shopping and
parks and all that. Playing with his brother, being with us. He didn't like
when the teachers made him wait to do things because other kids didn't know how
and they needed help first or when they counldn't go outside on gorgeous days
cuz the teachers had things to do. So unless it was FUN, he wasn't thrilled.
He chose to stay in with the option of staying home whenever he wanted. He
felt good to finish the year and so did I (sort of). We set aside our true
living for many months and I can never get that back.
He hasn't really mentioned school since the end of last year.
If your kids are choosing to stay in and see it as fun and social, awesome.
But if it's a struggle in the mornings and the yelling kinda gets you all off
on the wrong foot, then I'd end it now. Unlearn all that's not needed and
recapture what life was like before schooling. Enjoy them now in all their
freedom and innocence. I knew what that was before kindergarten and boy!!! do I
appreciate it soooo much more now that it's over.
As for bedtimes, get a "winding down for the day" routine going. Baths,
reading stories, or whatever gets everyone in a lazy, comfy mood. Our 3 year old
is a fantastic snoozer so he usually tells us when he's ready. He'll ask if
it's naptime yet. As for our 7 year old, he loves reading time and he likes
to lay in our bed and watch TV, sometimes with us or while we're in the living
room watchin' our own stuff. But he is usually ready by 10 or so. He'll play
his gameboy or watch videos on it until he's alseep. I think the key is that
if they want to stay up, they can. We just ask that it's quiet when we are
in bed. They know daddy has to work. They know I like to take short naps
sometimes during the day. We have always made an effort to do quiet things if
someone in the house is resting and that just extends into the night too.
You have a toddler and a newborn too. So sleep is essential for you when you
can get it. Make it a point that staying up is their choice but once you and
your hubby are in bed or the little ones are in bed for the night, that it is
time for quiet activities. But I would definitely get jammies on and all
that. That seems to help with winding down.
HTH
Pamela
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[email protected]
In a message dated 1/27/2005 10:35:06 AM Eastern Standard Time, Pamale Teitelbaum <pamelateitelbaum@...> writes:
Get them O-U-T!
~Kelly
>I wish I had listened to my instincts instead ofIn five years of unschooling, I've NEVER heard anyone say she wished she had left the kid(s) in school longer. Never!
>'everyone'. It would have been two months less
>torture for my ds. Your situation sounds a bit
>different, but if your kids really want it, you may
>want to consider taking them out of school sooner than
>later. <<<<<
Get them O-U-T!
~Kelly
cslkll
Hi Jill. I am new to posting here but not new to unschooling.
Your mornings should definitely improve when you take the kids
out of school. Our mornings are great, the kids sleep until
they wake up. As for the situation with your mother, when my
mom asks, "but when do you have time to homeschool?" I always
tell her that she knows that is not what we do, and then I ask if she
thinks my kids are somehow lacking. Her answer is always "no way!"
I then get to smile and say she's welcome to let me know if she
ever feels they are. good luck coming into the unschooling world,
it's a beautiful life. krista
Your mornings should definitely improve when you take the kids
out of school. Our mornings are great, the kids sleep until
they wake up. As for the situation with your mother, when my
mom asks, "but when do you have time to homeschool?" I always
tell her that she knows that is not what we do, and then I ask if she
thinks my kids are somehow lacking. Her answer is always "no way!"
I then get to smile and say she's welcome to let me know if she
ever feels they are. good luck coming into the unschooling world,
it's a beautiful life. krista
[email protected]
In a message dated 1/27/05 1:28:50 PM, kbcdlovejo@... writes:
<< In five years of unschooling, I've NEVER heard anyone say she wished she
had left the kid(s) in school longer. Never! >>
DITTO.
<< In five years of unschooling, I've NEVER heard anyone say she wished she
had left the kid(s) in school longer. Never! >>
DITTO.
Kevin Falkowski
Hi Leah,
Where are you in Warren?
I live near you.
You can e-mail me at kfalkowski7042@...
Michelle
Where are you in Warren?
I live near you.
You can e-mail me at kfalkowski7042@...
Michelle
----- Original Message -----
From: "Leah" <kainoa72@...>
To: <[email protected]>
Sent: Thursday, January 27, 2005 11:35 AM
Subject: RE: [UnschoolingDiscussion] This is my first post...
>
>
> "How about just not go to school when your kids don't want to go... let
> them
> stay home when they want to, and go when they want to"
>
> I've not posted before, but just wanted to note that in our state a
> parent can be charged for their child's truancy. If a child misses too
> many days the parent can end up on probation! Unbelievable. So, I
> pulled my son out of their school. lol
>
> Leah (Warren, MI)
>
>
> -----Original Message-----
> From: Barbara Chase [mailto:barb@...]
> Sent: Thursday, January 27, 2005 4:26 AM
> To: [email protected]
> Subject: Re: [UnschoolingDiscussion] This is my first post...
>
>
>
> >They tell me they like school, but would rather stay home. I dread
> >getting up mornings, we yell and get a rather harsh start just about
> every
> >day
> >
> >The kids do enjoy going to school, so I think we are going to finish up
> >the year and just not go back next year.
>
> Hi Jill,
>
> How about just not go to school when your kids don't want to go... let
> them
> stay home when they want to, and go when they want to. [I don't know...
> maybe this has become illegal or something... but when I was in school
> if I
> had a note from my parent it didn't matter how much school I missed.]
> See
> what that's like rather than waiting until Summer and continuing with
> all
> of the arguments. You say they like school, so perhaps they would like
> to
> go if it's really their choice. Or, maybe you will discover that
> staying
> home really works out great and you didn't have to wait after all.
>
>
> Mahalo,
> Barbara
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>
>
>
> "List Posting Policies" are provided in the files area of this group.
>
> Visit the Unschooling website and message boards:
> http://www.unschooling.com
>
>
>
> _____
>
> Yahoo! Groups Links
>
>
> * To visit your group on the web, go to:
> http://groups.yahoo.com/group/UnschoolingDiscussion/
>
>
> * To unsubscribe from this group, send an email to:
> [email protected]
> <mailto:[email protected]?subject=Unsubs
> cribe>
>
>
> * Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to the Yahoo! Terms of
> Service <http://docs.yahoo.com/info/terms/> .
>
>
>
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
> "List Posting Policies" are provided in the files area of this group.
>
> Visit the Unschooling website and message boards:
http://www.unschooling.com
> Yahoo! Groups Links
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
homebody_momma
Sorry it took so long to respond...
They like to go to school to be with their friends. My dd (5 1/2)
really likes her teachers, too.
Yes, I know we really need to change our morning routine...
My mom...she's pretty strong in her opinions. She doesn't ever
stand in my way of what I want to do, just has no problem voicing
her dislike or why she doesn't agree. But I certainly wouldn't
change my mind because of her opinion or idea, if its something I
feel strongly about. I just mentioned it because that's how she is
and that's what I'm up against, you know?
Hmm, if they had a terminal disease, I'd do what would make them
happiest, of course! If that meant staying in school, that would be
fine. If that meant staying home, well, that would be better.
As far as a little bit of poison at a time, I see what you mean.
And maybe I am just in denial, but since they like going to school
and it isn't just a regular sit in your desk all day and do
meaningless paperwork kind of school, I don't see it as dire. Of
course, its not as good as being home, but that is what I am
struggling with, I guess. Why is it so difficult to just do it?!
Does it get easier once they are signed out? I hope so...
Unschooling
But if by quiet you mean silent
still being so young, they would require more attention I would be
willing to give after all day. I would be afraid that I would burn
out.
Thanks for your response, it certainly made me think :)
Jill
--- In did)
They like to go to school to be with their friends. My dd (5 1/2)
really likes her teachers, too.
Yes, I know we really need to change our morning routine...
My mom...she's pretty strong in her opinions. She doesn't ever
stand in my way of what I want to do, just has no problem voicing
her dislike or why she doesn't agree. But I certainly wouldn't
change my mind because of her opinion or idea, if its something I
feel strongly about. I just mentioned it because that's how she is
and that's what I'm up against, you know?
Hmm, if they had a terminal disease, I'd do what would make them
happiest, of course! If that meant staying in school, that would be
fine. If that meant staying home, well, that would be better.
As far as a little bit of poison at a time, I see what you mean.
And maybe I am just in denial, but since they like going to school
and it isn't just a regular sit in your desk all day and do
meaningless paperwork kind of school, I don't see it as dire. Of
course, its not as good as being home, but that is what I am
struggling with, I guess. Why is it so difficult to just do it?!
Does it get easier once they are signed out? I hope so...
Unschooling
>and the
> will allow us to live "our" way. -=-
>
> You're living your way now. You're choosing the rough mornings
> desire for what you don't have.***You're right.
But if by quiet you mean silent
> and in the dark, yeah that's squelching.No, I certainly wouldn't do that to them. It's just that with them
still being so young, they would require more attention I would be
willing to give after all day. I would be afraid that I would burn
out.
Thanks for your response, it certainly made me think :)
Jill
--- In did)
>this time
> Would another family LOVE to have their places? Can kids join at
> of the year? Do they have a waiting list even during theschoolyear?
>soul.
> -=-I dread getting up mornings, we yell and
>
> get a rather harsh start just about every day-=-
>
> That builds up and builds up in one's life and relationship and
>give it a
> -=-(Although my mother calls it irresponsible...) -=-
>
> I'm assuming you're over 21, though, and can tell your mother to
> few years and not to micromanage your life.=-
>
> -=-The kids do enjoy going to school, so I think we
>
> are going to finish up the year and just not go back next year. -
>that was
> If one had a terminal disease, would you finish the schoolyear?
> If every day at school they administered a little bit of poison
> building up and would have be detoxified or treated, would youfinish the
> schoolyear?Unschooling
>
> -=-I'm looking forward to the freedom, all aspects of it.
>and the
> will allow us to live "our" way. -=-
>
> You're living your way now. You're choosing the rough mornings
> desire for what you don't have.doing it now?
>
> Why look forward to living your life your way when you could be
>unlearned.
> -=-I'm looking forward to the kids
>
> knowing their own limits, eating and sleeping for example. -=-
>
> Meanwhile, they're learning other lessons that will have to be
>asleep. Make
> -=- I'm
>
> concerned about bedtimes though, and how that will work. I want
>
> them to go to bed when they need to, but with 4 small kids, after
>
> they are in bed is the only alone time I get with my husband. -=-
>
> You could say they need to be in bed but they don't have to be
> it easy for them to listen to tapes or CDS (books on tape ormusic) or to
> watch movies to go to sleep.=-
>
> -=Would it squelch their ability to distinguish when
>
> they are tired if we designate quiet time after a certain hour? -
>mean silent
> No, I don't think so.
> Sheesh, with no quiet time, NOBODY sleeps. But if by quiet you
> and in the dark, yeah that's squelching. I used to be put in myroom, told to
> go to sleep, and have the light turned off on me. I had lots ofnightmares.
> My daughter, at 13, has never had a nightmare.that's a
>
> If your kids want to go to school to hang out with their friends,
> good reason. If you want them to finish the year because it seemsfinishing a
> year is the way life should be, that's not a good reason.
>
> http://sandradodd.com/empowerment
>
> Sandra
[email protected]
In a message dated 1/31/2005 11:35:12 A.M. Mountain Standard Time,
homebody_momma@... writes:
My mom...she's pretty strong in her opinions. She doesn't ever
stand in my way of what I want to do, just has no problem voicing
her dislike or why she doesn't agree. But I certainly wouldn't
change my mind because of her opinion or idea, if its something I
feel strongly about. I just mentioned it because that's how she is
and that's what I'm up against, you know?
==============
If she voices her dislike and the kids know, that's standing in your way to
some extent.
If you're "up against" her, she must be in her way.
=\= since they like going to school
and it isn't just a regular sit in your desk all day and do
meaningless paperwork kind of school, I don't see it as dire.-=-
If they like to be there and it seems fine to you, then there's no problem,
right?
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
homebody_momma@... writes:
My mom...she's pretty strong in her opinions. She doesn't ever
stand in my way of what I want to do, just has no problem voicing
her dislike or why she doesn't agree. But I certainly wouldn't
change my mind because of her opinion or idea, if its something I
feel strongly about. I just mentioned it because that's how she is
and that's what I'm up against, you know?
==============
If she voices her dislike and the kids know, that's standing in your way to
some extent.
If you're "up against" her, she must be in her way.
=\= since they like going to school
and it isn't just a regular sit in your desk all day and do
meaningless paperwork kind of school, I don't see it as dire.-=-
If they like to be there and it seems fine to you, then there's no problem,
right?
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
homebody_momma
--- Thanks for the suggestion, we actually could get in trouble for
truancy. But I have joined some homeschool groups around me and
decided that I will take the kids out of school for any of the
outings they are interested in. Nick missed 2 days and Tori only
stayed home once, so we've got a bunch of "free" days before I were
to get hassled.
Thanks again!
Jill
truancy. But I have joined some homeschool groups around me and
decided that I will take the kids out of school for any of the
outings they are interested in. Nick missed 2 days and Tori only
stayed home once, so we've got a bunch of "free" days before I were
to get hassled.
Thanks again!
Jill
> How about just not go to school when your kids don't want to go...let them
> stay home when they want to, and go when they want to. [I don'tknow...
> maybe this has become illegal or something... but when I was inschool if I
> had a note from my parent it didn't matter how much school Imissed.] See
> what that's like rather than waiting until Summer and continuingwith all
> of the arguments. You say they like school, so perhaps they wouldlike to
> go if it's really their choice. Or, maybe you will discover thatstaying
> home really works out great and you didn't have to wait after all.
>
>
> Mahalo,
> Barbara
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
homebody_momma
>Thanks for your advice! I would definately be comfortable with
> We had some issues surrounding the bedtime thing as
> well (mostly my husband had the issues). The kids
> (boys, 8 and 6) were staying up till 1, 2 in the AM
> and as a result I was staying up till 3, 4. They
> never went to bed early even when they were in school,
> but it became a little extreme - even for their
> nocturnal momma! So, we had a family discussion about
> it, and compromised on a time (for us, 9:45) that the
> kids would start to get ready for bed - baths or
> showers, brush teeth, pick up their room a bit (with
> our help) and pick out books to read or to be read to
> them.
>
> All this was decided with the proviso that if they
> were involved in something they could take an
> additional 15 min or whatever time they needed to
> complete it. Also, I made the commitment to be
> available to them for a hour to read to them or talk,
> sing, whatever, in their room. So at about 11 or so,
> I close their door and they can sleep, sit in bed and
> read, talk to each other, read to each other, what
> have you. They know too that they are always welcome
> in our bed if they feel like it. I guess we have more
> of a flexible guideline for them to be in their room
> and (preferably) in bed than a bedtime. Having this
> guideline before it's time for bed really seems to
> help them wind down a lot. That way when I gently
> remind them that it's 9:30, and then 9;45, they know
> they still have lots of time to 'be up' and do some
> more stuff. They also know that it's flexible and we
> will respect their input and needs if they need to be
> up doing something longer.
>
something like this, and I think dh would be too. I know the kids
would be good with it, too.
Thanks again,
Jill
Barbara Chase
>And maybe I am just in denial, but since they like going to schoolMaybe I missed something, but I didn't get the impression that they liked
school well enough to want to go in the mornings. Right now they don't
have an option, they *have* to go. Perhaps they are just making the best
of an icky situation, and might as well find something to like about it.
>and it isn't just a regular sit in your desk all day and doI had a friend who had to spend time in prison not because of a crime he'd
>meaningless paperwork kind of school, I don't see it as dire.
committed but because he was the political fall guy. He was really lucky
though, he got to go to the country club of prisons (in exchange for
pleading, that was the deal.) He found a lot to enjoy there, with the
pool, the tennis, etc. But, it was still prison. It was dire.
>Of course, its not as good as being home, but that is what I amYou've already given yourself the answer, "Hmm, if they had a terminal
>struggling with, I guess. Why is it so difficult to just do it?!
disease, I'd do what would make them happiest, of course!" Why wait until
they have a terminal disease? Ask them where they would be happiest right
now, which is the only moment you really have, and then honor their choice.
Don't make guesses about what they prefer, ask them! If you're not ready
to ask them, then acknowledge that you aren't ready and ask yourself what
you need and take steps to provide it for yourself. I think you already
hinted at your own issue when you said "they would require more attention I
would be willing to give after all day. I would be afraid that I would
burn out."
mahalo,
Barbara
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
homebody_momma
> >And maybe I am just in denial, but since they like going to schoolthey liked
>
> Maybe I missed something, but I didn't get the impression that
> school well enough to want to go in the mornings. Right now theydon't
> have an option, they *have* to go. Perhaps they are just makingthe best
> of an icky situation, and might as well find something to likeabout it.
They are like that whenever we get ready, especially my oldest. He
lolligags arounds, and gets distracted very easily, even getting
ready for places he wants to go (friends houses, playing in the
snow, etc.) It's worse for school because its every morning and
theres a time issue.
> >and it isn't just a regular sit in your desk all day and docrime he'd
> >meaningless paperwork kind of school, I don't see it as dire.
>
> I had a friend who had to spend time in prison not because of a
> committed but because he was the political fall guy. He wasreally lucky
> though, he got to go to the country club of prisons (in exchangefor
> pleading, that was the deal.) He found a lot to enjoy there, withthe
> pool, the tennis, etc. But, it was still prison. It was dire.Point taken.
. I think you already
> hinted at your own issue when you said "they would require moreattention I
> would be willing to give after all day. I would be afraid that Iwould
> burn out."I think I said this in reference to not having a bedtime at all. I
meant I needed to know after a certain time, I'd be able to have
some quiet time for me after being fully available to them all day.
I did talk to the kids and they do want to leave before the year is
out. My oldest said he wants to stay in until Easter vacation and
will not go back after that, and my dd wants to stay for a special
celebration her class is having and then that will be it for her.
Which is fine with me, it gives me enough time to get the paperwork
together for the school district.
Thanks for the input, I'm sorry it takes so long for me to answer.
I don't get on as much as I'd like...
Jill
Barbara Chase
>I did talk to the kidshurray!
>and they do want to leave before the year is out.cool, now it's not a guess anymore.
>My oldest said he wants to stay in until Easter vacation andIsn't it amazing how it can work out; your kids have reasons why they want
>will not go back after that, and my dd wants to stay for a special
>celebration her class is having and then that will be it for her.
>Which is fine with me, it gives me enough time to get the paperwork
>together for the school district.
to stay just a little longer and that helps you with the extra time you
need! Congratulations!
Mahalo,
Barbara
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[email protected]
<< They are like that whenever we get ready, especially my oldest. He
lolligags arounds, and gets distracted very easily, even getting
ready for places he wants to go (friends houses, playing in the
snow, etc.) It's worse for school because its every morning and
theres a time issue. >>
It can help if parents avoid really negative terminology like "lolligags."
It's not good, "lolligagging." It doesn't even SOUND good.
Maybe he just doesn't really want to play in the snow or go to a friend's
house. Maybe he just needs more help. Some parents expect too much of children.
They think that if a child can tie his own shoes the mom should never help
him again, or once the child can sound out some words the mom doesn't need to
read aloud to him anymore.
HELP children get out of the house, and not only will they get out more
easily, but they will have had a shared time in which their mother was being kind
and generous with them. I still help my teenaged boys get out of the house
sometimes, and they're competent enough to get themselves up and out on time
even if I'm not here. But if I'm up and they're needing to get up and go, I will
offer breakfast, make sure they have clean socks, remind them of things they
might have wanted to take or do, help them review the day (as in "are you
coming right back after, or stopping somewhere else?" or "don't forget to call
Ryan" or "Did you ask for that weekend off for the trip to Arizona?" or
whatever).
-=-I think I said this in reference to not having a bedtime at all. I
meant I needed to know after a certain time, I'd be able to have
some quiet time for me after being fully available to them all day. -=-
If you look at it as what you need instead of what will help them learn about
themselves and their bodies' signals and needs in the longrun, that's find.
The vast majority of people do that. But if you want to see things in terms
of principles and of children's needs, there are other ways to see.
But all in all, your kids are in school and so most of what we're saying
won't apply or can't be seen until you're really unschooling.
Sandra
lolligags arounds, and gets distracted very easily, even getting
ready for places he wants to go (friends houses, playing in the
snow, etc.) It's worse for school because its every morning and
theres a time issue. >>
It can help if parents avoid really negative terminology like "lolligags."
It's not good, "lolligagging." It doesn't even SOUND good.
Maybe he just doesn't really want to play in the snow or go to a friend's
house. Maybe he just needs more help. Some parents expect too much of children.
They think that if a child can tie his own shoes the mom should never help
him again, or once the child can sound out some words the mom doesn't need to
read aloud to him anymore.
HELP children get out of the house, and not only will they get out more
easily, but they will have had a shared time in which their mother was being kind
and generous with them. I still help my teenaged boys get out of the house
sometimes, and they're competent enough to get themselves up and out on time
even if I'm not here. But if I'm up and they're needing to get up and go, I will
offer breakfast, make sure they have clean socks, remind them of things they
might have wanted to take or do, help them review the day (as in "are you
coming right back after, or stopping somewhere else?" or "don't forget to call
Ryan" or "Did you ask for that weekend off for the trip to Arizona?" or
whatever).
-=-I think I said this in reference to not having a bedtime at all. I
meant I needed to know after a certain time, I'd be able to have
some quiet time for me after being fully available to them all day. -=-
If you look at it as what you need instead of what will help them learn about
themselves and their bodies' signals and needs in the longrun, that's find.
The vast majority of people do that. But if you want to see things in terms
of principles and of children's needs, there are other ways to see.
But all in all, your kids are in school and so most of what we're saying
won't apply or can't be seen until you're really unschooling.
Sandra