Joni Zander

Hello great wise ones!

This is not at all an unschooling question, but I know this is the best
place to get the (child friendly, respectful) ideas I need to handle a
situation that may occur on Thursday.

We are having a holiday party, and I invited a family that my husband
doesn't want in our house (didn't know that at the time). Well, of
course, they are coming! They have three children, mom is home with
them all the time and often seems to be out of her element. My dh has
noticed that when they are at a party (the two neighborhood, outdoor
parties we've had), nobody watches the kids. It looks to me that the
mom just wants a break from being solely responsible for the kids, and
her dh seems to be totally clueless that she isn't watching them. The
mom will make comments to her dh, but not actually ask him to help
directly.

Anyway, their oldest is just five and at the parties we've had outside
just wanders around stomping on plants, pulling large parts of plants
up, dismantling lights, hitting other children, taking things from
others, etc. This absolutely drives my dh crazy, and he is afraid that
this little boy will wander around our house tearing things up.

What can I do (other than spend the entire party with this child)? Are
there some things I can do to help this child feel comfortable? Is
there something brilliant I can say to the parents?

My oldest babysits for this family, and I hope they are not expecting
her to be responsible for their children during our party - my daughter
will have her own friends attending and I don't feel it fair to ask her
to get involved in this. I, of course, will have hosting duties and
want to make sure that everything goes smoothly without spending all my
time with this one situation.


Joni Zander
FotoCEO@...

Rue Kream

>>What can I do

**Can you hire a teenager to play with them? It'd be worth a few dollars
for your family to be able to relax and enjoy the party. ~Rue


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

[email protected]

In a message dated 12/21/2004 1:43:59 P.M. Eastern Standard Time,
skreams@... writes:

Can you hire a teenager to play with them? It'd be worth a few dollars
for your family to be able to relax and enjoy the party. ~Rue




I've been to parties where that is done. All the children are introduced to
the "teen in charge" and if they need drinks or help with food or whatever,
they teen helps them out.

It was sort of like dropping the children off so the adults could relax.
They had the children in the family room downstairs with lots of activities and
their own foods and basically their own little party. I think there were
two teen girls supervising and the parents of the kids all ended up "tipping"
the girls for being so good with their kids and letting the adults be free to
socialize with each other but have the children nearby.

the girls ended up with some pretty good spending money too. I guess that
was just an extra and the hostess did not suggest it, another parent did and
more followed the idea with a tip.

glena


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Dawn Adams

Joni writes:
My oldest babysits for this family, and I hope they are not expecting
her to be responsible for their children during our party - my daughter
will have her own friends attending and I don't feel it fair to ask her
to get involved in this. I, of course, will have hosting duties and
want to make sure that everything goes smoothly without spending all my
time with this one situation.
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
Would it be possible to hire a babysitter or two for the night? I think that's what I'd be tempted to do.

Dawn (in NS)






[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

mamaaj2000

I could see a babysitter helping with normal situations, but I wonder
how much it would be with kids who are running around destroying
things with their parents present. Would they get upset that someone
else was telling their kids to stop? Something similar happened
around here...girl throwing rocks at a car and wouldn't stop, so the
owner of the car ended up raising his voice and the parents were
horrified about it. No, not about the fact that their dd was throwing
rocks...

I think I'd probably go to the parents after the first incident and
say something along the lines of "Oh, I'm sure you want to take care
of this yourself: Johnny just did such and such and I know you don't
want that going on. I'll let you talk to him and keep him from having
more problems." And then the next time "What happened with Johnny? It
seems like he really needs your help. Everyone is taking care of
their own kids since my daughter is with her friends." Etc.

--aj

--- In [email protected], "Dawn Adams"
<Wishbone@s...> wrote:
>
> Joni writes:
> My oldest babysits for this family, and I hope they are not
expecting
> her to be responsible for their children during our party - my
daughter
> will have her own friends attending and I don't feel it fair to
ask her
> to get involved in this. I, of course, will have hosting duties
and
> want to make sure that everything goes smoothly without spending
all my
> time with this one situation.
> >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
> Would it be possible to hire a babysitter or two for the night? I
think that's what I'd be tempted to do.
>
> Dawn (in NS)
>
>
>
>
>
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]