[email protected]

Hello,

I am a fellow "my kids always fight" poster here. I have posted and read off and on for awhile. I gleaned alot from the thoughtful answers here. I liked seeing Don Miguel Ruiz mentioned, I have learned alot about myself and trust and my doing my own personal best. We have 3 of his books and my dh will get a set of his cards. Thoughts to ponder during the day.

Cookies yesterday. Friend sees bater. He is 11. Can I have the beater?
Yes and I hand it to him. Hey, no he can't says one of my kids. I handed that kid the bowl, full of dough. 3 other kids came into the tiny kitchen. I left. They all ate dough, I came back when there was room for me, made cookies. We were making big cookies to make ice cream sandos. Periodically 1 or another came in, got a fingerful and left. I made the big cookies, was able to make 1 doz. more reg. sized and then off to the Nutcracker my kids are in. I remained mostly quiet with helpful action. This works wonders with my kids. When I speak too much they grab onto my words and seem to pull me right into the explosion.

I have had the screaming meltdown dowl (is this the right word) each morsal out fairly experiences also. More than I can count. And my kids can fight about what the air smells like, no not fog, like winter. No not winter like fog. Yesteday's conversation between 5dd and 7ds. I smiled, like foggy winter and winteryfog and froggy sminter and sminter frogs. It is really foggy here in the California Valley. At dusk all the grass gives rise to the eerie stuff.

Mary

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

SHYRLEY WILLIAMS

Whenever I feel exhausted or stressed I take out the
picture I have of Celyn, lying in NICU covered with
tubes. I took it just after the doctors told me she
wasn't going to live, and that if she did live she
would be a blind/deaf vegetable.
That picture remins me to be grateful for every day I
have with her, howvere hard and to take joy in the
three healthy kids I have regardless of their
fighting.

Shyrley

--- mfhickman@... wrote:

---------------------------------
Hello,

I am a fellow "my kids always fight" poster here. I
have posted and read off and on for awhile. I gleaned
alot from the thoughtful answers here. I liked seeing
Don Miguel Ruiz mentioned, I have learned alot about
myself and trust and my doing my own personal best. We
have 3 of his books and my dh will get a set of his
cards. Thoughts to ponder during the day.

Cookies yesterday. Friend sees bater. He is 11. Can I
have the beater?
Yes and I hand it to him. Hey, no he can't says one of
my kids. I handed that kid the bowl, full of dough. 3
other kids came into the tiny kitchen. I left. They
all ate dough, I came back when there was room for me,
made cookies. We were making big cookies to make ice
cream sandos. Periodically 1 or another came in, got a
fingerful and left. I made the big cookies, was able
to make 1 doz. more reg. sized and then off to the
Nutcracker my kids are in. I remained mostly quiet
with helpful action. This works wonders with my kids.
When I speak too much they grab onto my words and seem
to pull me right into the explosion.

I have had the screaming meltdown dowl (is this the
right word) each morsal out fairly experiences also.
More than I can count. And my kids can fight about
what the air smells like, no not fog, like winter. No
not winter like fog. Yesteday's conversation between
5dd and 7ds. I smiled, like foggy winter and
winteryfog and froggy sminter and sminter frogs. It is
really foggy here in the California Valley. At dusk
all the grass gives rise to the eerie stuff.

Mary

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]



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=====
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Elizabeth Hill

** Whenever I feel exhausted or stressed I take out the
picture I have of Celyn, lying in NICU covered with
tubes.**

Happy Christmas, Merry Solistice, Good Yule to you Shyrley.

I have an inspirational baby picture lying next to my keyboard here.
Husband is lying in bed, and next to him sleeping infant James reaches
out his little arm and hand to hold onto dad's upper arm. It's such a
nice attachment parenting picture because is shows clearly that the
child needs the loving presence of the parent. And I love those
star-shaped baby hands. So adorable.

Betsy

pam sorooshian

On Dec 18, 2004, at 9:27 AM, mfhickman@... wrote:

> And my kids can fight about what the air smells like, no not fog, like
> winter. No not winter like fog. Yesteday's conversation between 5dd
> and 7ds.

Critical thinking skills development!

My kids do that too - I have no good answers - I just got used to it
<G>.

-pam

[email protected]

In a message dated 12/18/2004 12:23:00 PM Central Standard Time,
shyrley.williams@... writes:

Whenever I feel exhausted or stressed I take out the
picture I have of Celyn, lying in NICU covered with
tubes. I took it just after the doctors told me she
wasn't going to live, and that if she did live she
would be a blind/deaf vegetable.
That picture remins me to be grateful for every day I
have with her, howvere hard and to take joy in the
three healthy kids I have regardless of their
fighting.



~~~

Thanks for the reminder, Shyrley. {{{}}}

I helped my daughter-in-law pack up their apartment this week. She's moving
to another town so she can do her student teaching (I know, I know). She's
only 21, smart as a whip, but still emotionally young. They've been married
almost 2 years already. I was a good mother-in-law, and didn't speak when
she complain that Jake wasn't there to help her with this, and Jake wanted it
this way and such, and how she just *spoiled* him all the time.

That's all well and good, and I could be charitable and laugh along with
her, if Jake were just off on the beach on vacation somewhere. But he's not.
He's sleeping in a bunk beside his battle buddy, in a barracks in south
Louisiana and he's getting up every morning at 5 to do PT and learning urban
warfare all day so he'll know what to do when he gets to Iraq ON HER BIRTHDAY.

So, she really shouldn't complain to me, his mother who is helping her pack,
about how hard she has it. One can go too far worrying about other's
suffering, but we should try to find the proper perspective.

Karen


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

[email protected]

<< That's all well and good, and I could be charitable and laugh along with
her, if Jake were just off on the beach on vacation somewhere. But he's
not.
He's sleeping in a bunk beside his battle buddy, in a barracks in south
Louisiana and he's getting up every morning at 5 to do PT and learning urban
warfare all day so he'll know what to do when he gets to Iraq ON HER
BIRTHDAY. >>

He's where he is by his own choice, and wasn't drafted.
He's alive.
He has a wife who loves him.
He has a mother who loves him.

-=-Whenever I feel exhausted or stressed I take out the
picture I have of Celyn . . . .
That picture reminds me to be grateful for every day I
have with her-=-

Both Shyrley and Karen are experiencing extreme mothering traumas, and I'm
glad they're abot to help others meet their challenges as wholly and warmly as
can be done. It would be easy for people here to recommend despair and
freaking out and panic, but that rarely adds positively to a situation. Having
moms who can soothe and support is better than not having it.

And now I feel bad about being cranky to Kirby last night about not putting
the seats back in my van, and about being grumpy at Marty Friday morning when
he was (legitimately, turned out) too sick to go to work. Little things, in
light of BIG things, seem even smaller.

Sandra

nellebelle

>>> Little things, in light of BIG things, seem even smaller>>>>

I was recently diagnosed with breast cancer. The odds are in my favor, so I will probably be OK. I am scheduled to begin chemotherapy in January.

Although we hear the reminders regularly, sometimes it takes the personal for it to sink in. Today, this moment, is all we really have for ourselves and with our loved ones.

Mary Ellen
PS My husband found the lump. Consider this your email reminder to do those monthly breast exams! The smaller the tumor, the more likely that the cancer has not spread. I spent nearly nine consecutive years breastfeeding, so don't think yourself immune even if you do all the right things.

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

[email protected]

In a message dated 12/19/2004 11:12:04 AM Central Standard Time,
SandraDodd@... writes:

He's where he is by his own choice, and wasn't drafted.
He's alive.
He has a wife who loves him.
He has a mother who loves him.



~~~

You're right. Thanks.

But it's she who needs the perspective. I'd just like her to express a
little gratitude once in a while. Not to me, but just general thankfulness.
She's young, yet.

Karen


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]