Heidi Here

Hi all,
I have been homeschooling for the past 9 years (very relaxed) I LOVE what I have read about unschooling, BUT here's my problem maybe you can all help me get past myself, I can see that my son will and does great unschooling, he has allot of interest in "stuff" My daughter (12) doesn't have much of an interest in anything...well I will get to that in a minute. She doesn't care a thing in the world about math (just does very simple adding and subtracting) does not spell good at all and really doesn't care to read, doesn't like history...I get myself scared about her , that ,and I am not a good speller and it makes me feel "not very smart" at times. She is dyslexic so I did not push her in these area's. I guess I get "scared" when other kids her age come around and I see how advanced they are and I feel like I am doing her wrong even though I know how much she hated doing "school". The one thing she is interested in is making maps...maps of her room maps of our neighborhood, she loves to decorate, and she is very very good at planning parties. Its when I start to make the map making "schoolesh" she turns off, I thought she could learn some math with the map making, you know measuring and such but she just doesn't care.Please help me to learn to trust that she will be OK. Does anyone else have a child who doesn't really care about learning much of anything?
Thanks for all the help,
Heidi
"--- Original Message -----
From: Shannon Rizzo
To: [email protected]
Sent: Tuesday, November 23, 2004 1:24 PM
Subject: RE: [UnschoolingDiscussion] Maslow


If he can't feel when he's full, they really should get him tested to rule
out Prader-Willi Syndrome, as Debbie mentioned. Maybe eating disorder
sufferers also have trouble feeling when they're full, but it is one main
symptom of PWS. While trying to empower him and help him emotionally is
wonderful, if it is Prader-Willi Syndrome they need to get it diagnosed so
they can begin to manage it. PWS is a genetic disorder for which there is
no cure, but untreated the patient becomes obese and has many other issues.
Hopefully his issues are psychological and can be overcome.

Shannon



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nellebelle

>>>>The one thing she is interested in is making maps...maps of her room maps of our neighborhood, she loves to decorate, and she is very very good at planning parties.>>>>

What awesome skills! I hate to decorate, though I'd like to have my house look a bit more as if it were planned rather than everything looking like it was just stuck somewhere. I'm just not good at it. Planning parties? People make a living at planning parties for other people! And making maps. Wow! That is art and math and geography and social studies and much much more.

Let go of what she *should* be doing and celebrate what she does. That is a lot for a 12 year old.

Mary Ellen

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[email protected]

In a message dated 11/23/04 6:23:08 PM, kleincrew@... writes:

<< Its when I start to make the map making "schoolesh" she turns off, I
thought she could learn some math with the map making, >>

She will, if you leave her alone.

<<Please help me to learn to trust that she will be OK.>>

After you change the way you see the world, she will start to be okay in your
universe.
After you stop making things schoolish she will be closer to okay.

<<Does anyone else have a child who doesn't really care about learning much
of anything?>>

If you make it your business to judge how much she cares about learning, and
you're being the judge of how much is "much" and what is "anything," the
problems will remain.

It might help for you to read this:

http://sandradodd.com/seeingit
and
http://sandradodd.com/deschooling

Sandra

Robyn Coburn

<<<<I guess I get "scared" when other kids her age come around and I see how
advanced they are and I feel like I am doing her wrong even though I know
how much she hated doing "school".>>>>>

There's an idea seems to be a bit of a theme floating through the lists just
now, or maybe I am just sensitive to it. It's this notion of how being
around schooled (or school-at-home) kids can make us feel inadequate, or
scared as you put it. Sometimes it goes further and makes our kids start to
doubt themselves and their futures.

There are times when I want to say stay away from them for a while, during
transitioning to Unschooling, or particularly vulnerable times - like the
beginning of puberty perhaps. I'm not sure whether this is always feasible
or desirable - after all Unschoolers usually don't force our children to
isolate themselves from their friends. But boy, there are times when it's
tempting and might make us feel better.

I sometimes feel these pressures myself. Just yesterday at Park Day some of
the H/S mothers were talking about some history curriculum on DVD, that
their really young (4,5,6 yo) kids were "really enjoying". Jayn shows no
interest in history, except the idea of the magical olden days when
Princesses lived in castles. I, yes even I, felt a gentle brush of anxiety.
Which is way better than a deep and painful panicky stab of anxiety as I
might have felt a couple of years ago.

On occasions when schooled kids seem to be "advanced" it is helpful to focus
only on our child's strengths and individuality, and remember that she has a
whole lifetime to learn whatever she wants to. It isn't a competition. Maybe
this is one time when some school bashing is in order ;) - these kids may
seem "advanced" but how much of it will they recall after the end of year
tests are done? The schooled kids are being scaled against an average. It is
helpful to remember that averages are created out of combining every number,
including the extremes at either end, and while helpful in looking at
populations, are not useful predictors of individual performance.

Perhaps it would be reassuring to picture our children as completely outside
of the "average scale", to picture them strolling back and forth past the
line of other "graded" people at will. There is no real reason to assume
that any of these kids will end up happier, kinder, more confident, or more
"educated" than any of our sons and daughters.

Robyn L. Coburn

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Elizabeth Hill

**and she is very very good at planning parties.**

I don't know how much extra money you have for party food and party
decorations, but it might be fun and educational to have lots more
parties. Possibly celebrating holidays from different countries, or
birthdays of historical figures, or even something more bizarre. (I'm
sure there's more than 2 possibilities, but my brain has run out of steam.)

However, taking her interest and purposely twisting it to be educational
(as I have suggested) could backfire. Encouraging her interests can be
good. Tricking her into learning history and geography is not so good.

Betsy

PS (Before she tried to take over the planet with her multi-media
empire, Martha Stewart was a caterer. And her magazine still has a lot
of party-oriented content.)

[email protected]

In a message dated 11/24/2004 1:08:33 A.M. Eastern Standard Time,
ecsamhill@... writes:

I don't know how much extra money you have for party food and party
decorations, but it might be fun and educational to have lots more
parties. Possibly celebrating holidays from different countries, or
birthdays of historical figures, or even something more bizarre. (I'm
sure there's more than 2 possibilities, but my brain has run out of
steam.)<<<<

Celebrate everything! <g>

She could also consider conference planning! <bwg> I love to throw parties.
The conference is one *very* large party----and my love kind of grew and grew
and grew!

~Kelly, party girl







[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Heidi Here

Thanks for all the help you guys!
I guess I got upset because my daughter came home from riding her bike and said that the kids around the corner said that she was stupid because she was homeschooled and that kids in "real" school learn much much more. That makes me so mad and upset and then I start to think that maybe I am doing her wrong (but for 9 years now I know different)We are new to Florida and she will be starting Scouts and I start to think Gosh what if they want her to read ( she can but really doesn't like to , it takes her longer cause she is dyslexic), I don't want her to feel bad about herself, I know in my heart that but the time she has to make her way in the world she will know all she needs but I just have a hard time every now and then with the "rest" of the world. I wish I knew some unschoolers that lived near me, I would for a while just hang with them until I get used to Unschooling in this state and get to know some people. Thanks for being here for me,
Heidi
Have a great Thanksgiving all!!
----- Original Message -----
From: kbcdlovejo@...
To: [email protected]
Sent: Wednesday, November 24, 2004 8:09 AM
Subject: Re: [UnschoolingDiscussion] Question...help


In a message dated 11/24/2004 1:08:33 A.M. Eastern Standard Time,
ecsamhill@... writes:

I don't know how much extra money you have for party food and party
decorations, but it might be fun and educational to have lots more
parties. Possibly celebrating holidays from different countries, or
birthdays of historical figures, or even something more bizarre. (I'm
sure there's more than 2 possibilities, but my brain has run out of
steam.)<<<<

Celebrate everything! <g>

She could also consider conference planning! <bwg> I love to throw parties.
The conference is one *very* large party----and my love kind of grew and grew
and grew!

~Kelly, party girl







[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]



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Robyn Coburn

<<<We are new to Florida>>>>>

You're in Florida?! Ah there are a lot of Unschoolers in different parts of
Florida, including Ren. Try www.nhen.org for local groups.

Robyn L. Coburn


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Ren Allen

I don't check in very often here anymore, but I noticed this:

" I wish I knew some
unschoolers that lived near me, I would for a while just hang with
them until I
get used to Unschooling in this state and get to know some people."

And couldn't resist asking what part of Florida you're in?
I run an inclusive/unschooling group in Pensacola and we're part of
a statewide affiliation of inclusive groups, so at least you could
find a group of folks not homeschooling for religious reasons...and
possibly an unschooler or two.
L.I.F.E. of Florida is a network that might be able to help you find
folks in your area. This list might be a great place too!!:)

Ren

Heidi Here

Thanks Ren!
I live in Eustis, Lake county/central Fl. I have only met real religious very school at home people and I just do NOT fit in.
I will check out the sites you told me
Thanks again and have a great Thanksgiving All,
Heidi
----- Original Message -----
From: Ren Allen
To: [email protected]
Sent: Wednesday, November 24, 2004 8:57 PM
Subject: [UnschoolingDiscussion] Question...help



I don't check in very often here anymore, but I noticed this:

" I wish I knew some
unschoolers that lived near me, I would for a while just hang with
them until I
get used to Unschooling in this state and get to know some people."

And couldn't resist asking what part of Florida you're in?
I run an inclusive/unschooling group in Pensacola and we're part of
a statewide affiliation of inclusive groups, so at least you could
find a group of folks not homeschooling for religious reasons...and
possibly an unschooler or two.
L.I.F.E. of Florida is a network that might be able to help you find
folks in your area. This list might be a great place too!!:)

Ren





"List Posting Policies" are provided in the files area of this group.

Visit the Unschooling website and message boards: http://www.unschooling.com


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ADVERTISEMENT





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Shawn

If you're looking for something to celebrate, try the M & N International website. The link is http://www.mninternational.com/images/Nov_Dec_MN.pdf. You definitely wouldn't want to miss National Peanutbutter Month or National Fun with Fondue Month, not to mention the 24th anniversary of Magnum PI.

Shawn


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