Judy

or should I say that we've decided to forgo the expensive curricula
we purchased, after pulling our 6yr. old out of private school, and
go back to learning by living. I am often in doubt, however, that I
am providing enough of an atmosphere to guide her learning. If she
were an only child, like when she was an only child, I would be
taking her to museums, etc., stimulating her interests further. She
has two younger brothers, though, and trips of that sort have
resulted in nothing but frustration. Just going to the library is
such a challenge. I try to do things once my husband is home but
often I am exhausted by that point and need time to myself. There
is so much pressure, from relatives (in-laws, especially)and society
in general, to measure her learning by teaching six hours a day, as
if she were in school. I am often afraid that my mother-in-law will
call social services or something and that they'll find that I've
been neglecting my children's education. Even worse, I worry that I
am. How do you know when you are okay? Anyone in the same boat out
there and/or have any suggestions. Thanks. I feel blessed you all
exist and that I finally found an avenue for support.

Robyn Coburn

<<<<or should I say that we've decided to forgo the expensive curricula
we purchased, after pulling our 6yr. old out of private school, and
go back to learning by living. >>>>>

Hi Judy,

You may also find more help at UnschoolingBasics, also at Yahoo groups, a
list more specifically designed for new unschoolers. I mean don't leave here
at all - they are really complimentary lists. Since you have younger
children in the home you might also be interested in AlwaysUnschooled at
Yahoo.

Even a brief period of being in school can be damaging - and I'm guessing
you saw some damage or you wouldn't have pulled your dd out. She will need
to spend some time de-schooling (also called decompressing). Just pretend it
is vacation for the time being, and let her relax and play.

Also, with the holidays are coming up so soon, you have the perfect excuse
to tell your relatives that you are going to re-examine your schedule, or
some such vague yet true statement, after the new year. This will give you
time to do plenty of reading about Unschooling in the interim.

For a good start try www.sandradodd.com/unschooling

For a different format, but a lot of the same wonderful writers, try
www.unschooling.info Everything organized into topics.

For mindful parenting - especially of little ones - info try
www.naturalchild.org

Also John Holt. For relatives who still think schools are fabulous places
for every child, but want to learn more, try giving them some John Taylor
Gatto.

I pretty much always leave dealing with his mother's negativity to my dh. He
prefers it that way also. If you have genuine fears that your MIL would do
something so disruptive to family unity as call CPS (or whatever it is
called in your state) I think the first person to talk to about that might
be your dh.

Welcome to the journey. Don't forget to "Breathe deeply".

Robyn L. Coburn

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In a message dated 11/8/2004 5:28:22 PM Eastern Standard Time,
thefashionpeach@... writes:
There
is so much pressure, from relatives (in-laws, especially)and society
in general, to measure her learning by teaching six hours a day, as
if she were in school. I am often afraid that my mother-in-law will
call social services or something and that they'll find that I've
been neglecting my children's education.
Why dont you get the in-laws to take her on some trips and get involved in
aiding her in her teaching. If there so concirned, they should take some time
out of their life to be mentors or something.
(P.S. it dosent stop there, see if any family or friends with less on there
plate (young kids ARE really hard to travel with) want to help out...It could
be fun for both them and her.


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Danielle Conger

Hi Judy,

Welcome to Unschooling! I would also suggest the AlwaysUnschooled group
*in addition* to this group, as we talk a lot about younger children
(under 8) and moving towards Unschooling naturally.

I also recognize your email from IRL, (waving here) and would encourage
you to come to the Life is Learning Unschooling Support group. We meet
the second Monday of the month, from 7:00--9:00 at the Safeway Starbucks
in Prince Frederick. You can check the SMHN calendar if you're interested.

--Danielle

http://www.danielleconger.com/Homeschool/Welcomehome.html

>
>

Fetteroll

on 11/8/04 4:58 PM, Judy at thefashionpeach@... wrote:

> There
> is so much pressure, from relatives (in-laws, especially)and society
> in general, to measure her learning by teaching six hours a day, as
> if she were in school.

If you approach unschooling with the need to prove to doubters that it works
it's going to interfer with giving your kids what they need.

If you approach unschooling with confidence, knowing it's the best thing you
can give for your children, then you won't need to show people they're wrong
and you're right to get them to agree that what you're doing is right.

One of my favorite analogies is Mother Teresa. She didn't need to prove to
anyone she believed she was doing right. She just did it. If people doubted,
she could give them information but their doubt was their problem to work
through. (At least that's the vision that a several-years-ago viewing of the
documentary about Mother Teresa has left me with!)

If people bend over backwards trying to prove to others that they're right
they come across as being doubtful themselves. It feels from the outside as
though the "I need to prove I'm right" people aren't sure about what they're
doing and they want to substitute agreement for confidence.

There isn't an easy way to get to that confidence! It takes a lot of reading
and a lot of seeing the world through your kids eyes rather than seeing your
kids through the world's school colored glasses.

Usually I don't mention unscholing. I just say homeschooling. If people ask
further about curriculum, I say I just follow her interests. If they ask if
she gets a break over the summer I say if she stops being interested in
things then we'll take a break but so far that hasn't happened ;-)

What many people find helpful when dealing with relatives is giving them
books and saying that you've done your homework on the subject and if they'd
like to discuss it with you, then you'll be happy to once they're up to
speed.

Joyce