Laura Johnson

Ben bought his guns today. He picked out two, one yellow and one red that shoot darts. It was actually no big deal. They were 88 cents each. Only frustrating thing is that the darts don't work that well. I mentioned that since they were so inexpensive that they might not work as well. He said that was fine, he mostly wanted the guns. I guess that's it. We were on our way to a b-day party at the friend of mine's home that was appalled that I got the guns. I told him that he was not allowed to bring them into their house that they weren't allowed to have them. "how dumb" he said. He did walk right up to her and tell her nice and loud, "I have two new guns." I think he heard me tell dh about her reaction. She looked at me and rolled her eyes and shook her head. My other friend told her to get over it. I said "really". So, we are a toy gun totting family. <g>
Laura J

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

[email protected]

In a message dated 10/3/04 5:18:04 PM, lauraj2@... writes:

<< So, we are a toy gun totting family. <g> >>

Well, you have a toy gun toting kid.
What one person does isn't what the whole family does.

I'm glad he got guns (though I think the good six-shooters would be more
satisfying gun-wise, and they can come with a belt with holsters), but I wonder if
that last line of your post wasn't indicative of part of the angst in the
situation. If you see what your child does as what the family does/is/believes,
then that's more pressure on him (and you) than you would have if you can
separate his beliefs and practices from your own a little.

It happens gradually (ideally) with anyone, but unless the parents see that
they can be OVERinvested in their children's actions, they might not loosen up
as early as is good for the kid.

If Holly watches Blind Date, we are not "a Blind Date watching family."

If Kirby plays Magic, we're not "a Magic Cards family."


In the context of a social life in which the prevailing prejudice and control
is "no guns," though, I can see the statement. If I were in the
homescooling group in town that considers Harry Potter to be REALLY dangerous actual
magic, and if I then after a few years of that bought some Harry Potter books, I
might think we were a Harry Potter reading family. When there's a big "IS" or
"ISN'T," I guess that's more likely to seem applicable.

A big taint. You're all plastic-gun tainted. <g>

Sandra

Penne & Buddies

Now here's one for ya' ~ my stepson's stepdad bought him one of
those superblaster drencher guns when he was younger and his
military mom had a hissy fit! We never knew until then how she must
have felt about his collection of GI Joe's at our house (don't know
what she did with the accessories that came with the Lego sets at
her place.)

We're not a gun family, either, so Joe began to play more with
Barbie and Ariel than with his weapons when the younger siblings
came along -- which may or may not sound any better... Despite my
best efforts to distract the kids away from the wild, wild western
ways -- Bud's younger brother, Vince, insisted upon biting his toast
(and any other food that would serve) into the shape of a gun and
later "invented" molded paper guns of all shapes and sizes.

Every time he went to visit his grand-dad at the family pharmacy,
who knew how much he loved guns and war history, he would present
him with a new toy water gun while he told him a story from the big
war (and my dad hated the army!) Vince was in awe of a wooden gun
at Silver Dollar City and another at Frontierland in WDW -- and when
we saw the excitement on his face, well, the old cowboy-n-indian
days resurfaced and he got his fondest wish.

Vince is sixteen now and still loves guns (even taught his little
brother the fine art of making paper models,) along with Swiss Army
knives, light sabers, etc. It's definitely not our thing, and he
knows how I feel about his older brother joining the military -- so
we'll see what happens. We've given him a chance to explore while
under our wings, and hopefully, he'll be better prepared to make
good choices on this and other matters when he leaves the nest.

It's a wonderful opportunity to explore your feelings on the subject
with both friends and family. Right now, our kids are trying to
figure out how to convince the neighbor's daughter that they really
don't want to play "dead" (no guns involved) and bury her in the
field. She's on a kick this month -- we'll be glad when Halloween's
over.

The local grocer put the goriest masks on display right in front of
the entrance so no one (including the sensitive folks like me) can
avoid them. A couple of years ago, one of the baggers at another
store came over to help clean up a spill, dripping in fake blood
himself, and hung around while we checked out with our younger
children. I was totally grossed out and so was my husband and the
older kids.

Honestly, I couldn't believe the manager hadn't sent him home with
all that makeup, which was extreme compared to everyone else in the
place. I wonder if his mom ever let him play with guns when he was
little... Anyway, I took the opportunity to share my feelings in an
e-mail to the store afterwards, and plan to do the same with this
grocer concerning the costume rack at the front door. We'll all be
better for the experience, I'm sure.

Vayan con Dios, Amigos ~
Penne & the Crew

~ Makin' a Difference from the Heart ~
http://kitchencrew.ardfamilyco-op.net

--- In [email protected], SandraDodd@a... wrote:
>
> In a message dated 10/3/04 5:18:04 PM, lauraj2@v... writes:
>
> << So, we are a toy gun totting family. <g> >>
>
> Well, you have a toy gun toting kid.
> What one person does isn't what the whole family does.
>
> I'm glad he got guns (though I think the good six-shooters would
be more
> satisfying gun-wise, and they can come with a belt with holsters),
but I wonder if
> that last line of your post wasn't indicative of part of the angst
in the
> situation. If you see what your child does as what the family
does/is/believes,
> then that's more pressure on him (and you) than you would have if
you can
> separate his beliefs and practices from your own a little.
>
> It happens gradually (ideally) with anyone, but unless the parents
see that
> they can be OVERinvested in their children's actions, they might
not loosen up
> as early as is good for the kid.
>
> If Holly watches Blind Date, we are not "a Blind Date watching
family."
>
> If Kirby plays Magic, we're not "a Magic Cards family."
>
>
> In the context of a social life in which the prevailing prejudice
and control
> is "no guns," though, I can see the statement. If I were in the
> homescooling group in town that considers Harry Potter to be
REALLY dangerous actual
> magic, and if I then after a few years of that bought some Harry
Potter books, I
> might think we were a Harry Potter reading family. When there's a
big "IS" or
> "ISN'T," I guess that's more likely to seem applicable.
>
> A big taint. You're all plastic-gun tainted. <g>
>
> Sandra

Laura Johnson

>>>Well, you have a toy gun toting kid.
What one person does isn't what the whole family does

Actually, we are all toy gun toting, because we all have one now and were joining in on playing last night, yep, even me. So, I'm a toy gun toting mama, too! <g>. He chose the guns because of the price and the color. He likes red and they look like ray guns and they were only 88 cents (a bargain hunter already). He hasn't seen holsters anywhere yet, so he probably wouldn't know what one was. These shoot out darts, I think that was part of the appeal. He calls them his missiles. He did get the first ones he saw and decided to save up for one of those pirate guns at Disney World. So, he got cheap ones now and will get the cool ones when we go this winter. Funny, he talks to me endlessly about guns, but never mentions it to his dad unless I'm around. Interesting.

Ben is learning to play Magic also. Trouble is he wants to play with his friends and none of them are learning it, he's five and plays with his hand face up for now until he learns to read the cards. Though he can recognize words like Kraw Wurm and Alpha Myr already. When did Kirby learn to play Magic? We are a Magic card playing family (we all play, not much for me anymore, but dh has been playing for years) and a D/D playing family too, all of us now. One of our friends who is really into it, (he's all time Dungeon Master when we play) they were watching Ben for us one evening. He starting the kids on playing D/D, their 3 & 5 year old daughters and my son. We knew it was only a matter of time before he got them into an adventure.

You make a good point though. He goes to gymnastics, and we are not a gymnastics family. He is a separate person. Just as I am and so is David, the dad.
Laura J

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Elizabeth Hill

**One of our friends who is really into it, (he's all time Dungeon
Master when we play) they were watching Ben for us one evening. He
starting the kids on playing D/D, their 3 & 5 year old daughters and my
son. We knew it was only a matter of time before he got them into an
adventure. **

We've been playing a card game that's a humorous take off on D&D called
Munchkin. It's funnier and simpler than full-fledged D&D, so it's a
possible entry point for families who want to raise their kids up to be
dungeonairians. <g>

Betsy

[email protected]

In a message dated 10/4/04 12:34:09 PM, lauraj2@... writes:

<< When did Kirby learn to play Magic? >>

I tried to help him learn from a two-deck intro pack, but I was baffled. He
was eight or nine then.

He got a better deck when he was eleven or twelve, from a friend who was
running a card shop. He read things on the internet, and examined his cards.
Maybe it was about then that he got chances to play with other people.

It's not one of his favorite games, but he does have a talent for remembering
rules of games. He was sent to represent Active Imagination (where he works)
in a Magic Tournament last year, but it's not his game of choice.

Sandra