daddyof2specialgirls

Good evening all!

I am contemplating the idea of "unschooling" my two girls ages 10 and 5. I have been a stay at home dad for 8 years and really love being around my babies. I was given this idea today by two wonderful woman I have met at my oldest's performing arts center in Ohio. I want to hear peoples reasons for unschooling as well as what is done in your home on a day to day basis. Because I am new to this, keeping it away from the radical side of things would be great. My brain can only wrap around so much at a time. Thanks so much everyone, I appreciate your time and ideas!

Raymond

Debra Rossing

Hello Ray

My hubby is the stay home parent at our house too (he's been the at home parent since our 14 yr old son was 18 months old). We started along this path when DS was born and at every milestone along the way, it just made sense so we kept going. Putting our active, needs to move to think, boy into a desk for 6 hours per day made zero sense when he was a wee one. And, as he's gotten older, there has never seemed to be any reason to put him into that situation.

There are lots of "our day" threads in the archives, you might want to look through those. Also, those tend to be 'highlight reels' so don't let them overwhelm you. Life goes along, some days have lots of 'stuff' happening and other days are pjs and cocoa and movies all day. What do your days look like during a snow day or school holiday or even an average Saturday? That's what our days look like too.
--DebR

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[email protected]

You might start with some reading. This is one good site -- http://joyfullyrejoycing.com/

Nance


--- In [email protected], "daddyof2specialgirls" wrote:
>
> Good evening all!
>
> I am contemplating the idea of "unschooling" my two girls ages 10 and 5. I have been a stay at home dad for 8 years and really love being around my babies. I was given this idea today by two wonderful woman I have met at my oldest's performing arts center in Ohio. I want to hear peoples reasons for unschooling as well as what is done in your home on a day to day basis. Because I am new to this, keeping it away from the radical side of things would be great. My brain can only wrap around so much at a time. Thanks so much everyone, I appreciate your time and ideas!
>
> Raymond
>

Meredith

These days I work out of the home and my partner is the at-home parent and is self-employed.

Since I'm at work at the moment, I'll toss out some useful links and be back later ;)

Typical days:
http://sandradodd.com/typical

and a fantastic related essay "Moving a Puddle" for a nice view of how unschooling works:
http://sandradodd.com/puddle

Another view of how unschooling works:
http://sandradodd.com/museum

This is a good "why unschooling?" primer - it's a list of the principles which support learning:
http://sandradodd.com/pam/principles

And a good collection of ideas about learning - what it is and how it works:
http://sandradodd.com/connections/

That should keep you busy for awhile! That site is kind of a big "scrapbook" of things people have written about unschooling over the years, well worth exploring.

---Meredith

Meredith

"daddyof2specialgirls" wrote:
> I want to hear peoples reasons for unschooling as well as what is done in your home on a day to day basis. Because I am new to this, keeping it away from the radical side of things would be great.
***************

I started out helping homeschool my stepson and blundered my way towards unschooling. By the time my daughter was a toddler, I was pretty sure unschooling was something I wanted to do.

Beyond that, I'm afraid I can't avoid the "radical" part of unschooling ;) The more I learned about learning, the more I realized that learning is a vital part of human nature and that learning is utterly dependent on the perceptions and perspectives of the individual. So it's not that teaching or rules or chores are "bad" it's that they're not effective in any kind of consistent manner - the results depend entirely on the interaction between personality, environment, and relationships. All the nuts-and-bolts of how unschooling works has to do with being sensitive to those factors.

The most wonderful thing I've learned while unschooling is that it's Okay to be kind and sweet to my kids. That might not sound like much, but if you think of all the times and ways parents fight with kids, how often parenting is described as a struggle... You Don't Have To Do That. You can be your kids' friend as well as their parent and it won't ruin them (a good friend! not the annoying friend who dumps problems too big to handle on you, the good friend who's always willing to help but doesn't get in the way).

So I invite you to try a little bitty bit of unschooling: say yes more. Not about everything all the time and not at random - question your "Nos" and "laters", your "have tos" and "shoulds" and rethink some of those. Find more options, more ideas, more ways to say yes. Just that. And life with your children gets sweeter and more peaceful. That's pure gold.

---Meredith

Jo Fielding

--So I invite you to try a little bitty bit of unschooling: say yes more.
Not about everything all the time and not at random - question your "Nos"
and "laters", your "have tos" and "shoulds" and rethink some of those. Find
more options, more ideas, more ways to say yes. Just that. And life with
your children gets sweeter and more peaceful. That's pure gold. -

Thank you very much for writing that so beautifully. I'm going to print it
out and stick it on my wall. I think it would make an awesome Just Add
Light and Stir post.



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lindaguitar

Raymond -

My kids are grown now, both in college and working, but they were unschooled from ages 8 and 10 through their teens.

Reasons for unschooling:

I strongly believe (and always believed, since I was a kid myself) that children do not need to be told what to do, think, read, or write, in order to learn what they need to know to function well in this world. I think it is to the great detriment of children and society as a whole that our educational system tells kids that they *have to* learn A, B, and C, and that all other knowledge and skills are not as valuable. I have also always hated the idea of learning for tests and grades, rather than for its own sake.
Kids see what people do and know in the world they live in, especially now, in the age of electronic media. Children who live in modern "1st world" societies basically have access to the whole world, through the internet, TV, and movies, as well as books. Even the poorest families in the U.S. and most English speaking countries can access the internet, DVDs and books through the public library system, for those who don't have/can't afford these things at home. (Most places that have public schools and compulsory attendance laws also have public libraries.)

Every child wants to learn what s/he needs to know, in order to pursue his/her own goals, and will, if given the freedom, resources, and encouragement to do so.

Some of the books and articles that inspired me when we first started homeschooling (which very quickly went from "eclectic", creative homeschooling to unschooling) were:

"Deschooling Society", by Ivan Illich (available online, for free),

"What Does it Mean to Be Well Educated? And Other Essays on Standards, Grading, and Other Follies", by Alfie Kohn,

and a LOT of the articles written by Daniel Greenberg, one of the founders of the Sudbury Valley School in MA. There are a lot of great articles/essays about how children learn when given freedom, trust, and respect, on the Sudbury Valley School's website, sudval.org.

Another aspect of unschooling that was always important to me is treating children with respect and courtesy, patience and kindness, and honoring their rights as human beings. In the public school system, and most private schools, the adults tend to treat the kids with the utmost DISrespect, and the schools are a veritable model of tyranny. There is a documentary called "The War On Kids" that I highly recommend watching. Parents who homeschool by doing "school at home" often tend to emulate that tyrannical system at home. I don't see how we, as a society, can expect kids to grow up as good citizens who understand and work to preserve equality, justice, freedom, compassion, and Democracy, when they are raised as virtual prisoners, slaves, and inconsequential peons.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
You asked what is/was done in our homes on a day to day basis. It varied from day to day, in our home. And there weren't very many days when we just stayed home. My kids participated in a variety of classes, outdoor play at parks, field trips, and recreational activities with other homeschoolers, or at local rec centers, or with scouts or synagogue youth groups. When the weather was nice, we went swimming often.

But when we were at home, we did all kinds of different things. We watched TV/DVDs/online videos; did art and all kinds of crafts; played musical instruments; played board games, computer games, active games, and imagination games; rode bikes and went for walks; experimented with photography and making videos; I read aloud to my kids a lot; they played with friends in the neighborhood; they helped me with some of the housework.

When they got into their teens, they started reading to themselves a bit more (and we still read aloud to each other), and started doing some creative writing. At about the age of 15 or 16, they each started to take some online high school level courses and studying/learning subjects that they found out they would need to know for college. They were still taking various classes outside the home, too. They learned some really interesting stuff in classes – including some basic computer programming, video editing and production, zoology/biology through classes at the zoo, advanced sculpting/pottery techniques, and they learned a whole host of skills and knowledge through participating in Venture Scouts. (My daughter got life guard certification through the scouts, and has a life guard job now.) We volunteered at a Shakespeare theater frequently (getting to see the plays for free), and attended plays at local colleges and high schools. My daughter and I still volunteer at the Shakespeare theater.

Linda

--- In [email protected], "daddyof2specialgirls" wrote:
>
> Good evening all!
>
> I am contemplating the idea of "unschooling" my two girls ages 10
> and 5. I have been a stay at home dad for 8 years and really love
> being around my babies. ...I want to hear peoples reasons for
> unschooling as well as what is done in your home on a day to
> basis. Because I am new to this, keeping it away from the radical
> side of things would be great. My brain can only wrap around so
> much at a time. Thanks so much everyone, I appreciate your time and
> ideas!
>
> Raymond

Joyce Fetteroll

> At about the age of 15 or 16, they each started to take some online
> high school level courses and studying/learning subjects that they
> found out they would need to know for college.

I wanted to pull this out because it's a path many imagine that their unschooling teens will eventually make or have to make if they want to go to college.

Some kids -- as Linda's did -- may choose preparing for college. But many won't. If kids are interested in college, it's very common to go to community college first. Colleges have placement exams to assign students to math and perhaps English classes that match their levels. (The remedial classes exist for students who went through 12+ years of school instruction!) It's much easier for most kids to take a class or two than to prepare on their own.

Unschooled kids can also take community college classes just out of interest that won't require math and English competency.

When applying for college, unschooled kids have the ability to standout from the piles of practically identical grade transcripts by showing all the interesting ways they've learned.

Joyce

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

lindaguitar

--- In [email protected], Joyce Fetteroll wrote:
>
> Some kids -- as Linda's did -- may choose preparing for college.
> But many won't. If kids are interested in college, it's very common
> to go to community college first.

This is not an option in every state. It's not an option in GA, where we live. (I wish it had been. My kids would have preferred to take classes in person, with other students, at a community college before the age of 18, and without having to pass tests and submit a specific transcript-form that had to look as if they had completed the standard public school curriculum.) The unschoolers who live in states with community colleges that accept all applicants are lucky. I've been hearing from lots of parents in other states whose kids were able to do this, for years.

I'm kind of curious as to whether GA is the ONLY state where people have to qualify, through testing, to get into so-called "community colleges". I got the impression that Kansas or Oklahoma may be the same. Does anyone here know?

Unschoolers in GA (and similar states, if there are any) do have the option of enrolling in any online community college in another state where the colleges accept all applicants. I know some GA unschoolers who have done this through an Arizona community college. But that brings the students right back to the situation of having to do independent study. It works for some. I'm just mentioning this to show that even in a homeschooler-hostile state like GA, there are various options.

(And I'll spare you all the rant on the low quality of education and teachers in the horrid so-called "community colleges" here in GA, where they ACT like the the state colleges are superior to those in other states, by the mere fact of making the applicants jump through hoops to get in. And I'll refrain from a tirade on GA's obsession with "standards" - and how these standards are aimed at producing uniformly dumbed-down, unthinking, un-enthusiastic automatons ....)

Linda

[email protected]

Florida has the same sort of college placement test. It used to be called the CPT and now is the PERT.

The test is used to determine whether a student -- high school age dual enrollment and every other -- is ready for college-level work. There is a math section and an English section. You can pass one section and not the other and take courses in the area where you passed while studying to re-test in an area where you had difficulties.

There are samples of the test available on the websites of the community/state colleges. It is a free test for high-school age students for two or three tries. I think there is a small charge for older students.

And you have to put together a transcript.

None of this seems overly burdensome to me if the student wants to take college classes. And it's not unusual at all -- https://bigfuture.collegeboard.org/find-colleges/academic-life/what-are-college-placement-tests

Nance



--- In [email protected], "lindaguitar" wrote:
>
> --- In [email protected], Joyce Fetteroll wrote:
> >
> > Some kids -- as Linda's did -- may choose preparing for college.
> > But many won't. If kids are interested in college, it's very common
> > to go to community college first.
>
> This is not an option in every state. It's not an option in GA, where we live. (I wish it had been. My kids would have preferred to take classes in person, with other students, at a community college before the age of 18, and without having to pass tests and submit a specific transcript-form that had to look as if they had completed the standard public school curriculum.) The unschoolers who live in states with community colleges that accept all applicants are lucky. I've been hearing from lots of parents in other states whose kids were able to do this, for years.
>
> I'm kind of curious as to whether GA is the ONLY state where people have to qualify, through testing, to get into so-called "community colleges". I got the impression that Kansas or Oklahoma may be the same. Does anyone here know?

Debra Rossing

> I'm kind of curious as to whether GA is the ONLY state where people have to qualify, through testing, to get into so-called "community colleges".

Here in CT, there are a couple of placement tests to determine what level a student is starting at - whether they need remedial math or the regular 101 math or whatever. I think it's just English/LA and math, and once that's done, they can take whatever. It's not the SAT/ACT type testing. And, it's not specific to homeschoolers, all applicants take the same tests. Heck, when I was heading to a regular 4 yr college years ago, I had my public high school transcript, my SAT scores AND I had to take the school's placement tests (Reading, writing, math).

Deb R


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Jodi Harvatin

Here in OK, they need the ACT to get into community college. Ridiculous, IMHO.

Jodi

Sent from my iPhone

On Feb 4, 2013, at 7:18 AM, Debra Rossing <debra.rossing@...> wrote:

> > I'm kind of curious as to whether GA is the ONLY state where people have to qualify, through testing, to get into so-called "community colleges".
>
>
>


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Dana Hoffman Ellis

>
> Here in CT, there are a couple of placement tests to determine what level a student is starting at - whether they need remedial math or the regular 101 math or whatever. I think it's just English/LA and math, and once that's done, they can take whatever. It's not the SAT/ACT type testing. And, it's not specific to homeschoolers, all applicants take the same tests

Same in Washington.
Dana

Sent from my iPad



[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

lindaguitar

--- In [email protected], Debra Rossing wrote:
>
> Here in CT, there are a couple of placement tests to determine what
> level a student is starting at - whether they need remedial math or
> the regular 101 math or whatever. ...

Placement tests are what I would think of as "normal" for a community college to give new students who don't have other kinds of test scores. But in most states - like CT - the placement test simply determines what level courses a student needs to take. In GA, applicants who score below a certain number of points aren't even allowed to enroll and take remedial courses! It makes no sense to me, but that's what they do here.

My daughter just barely got the minimum score needed in math. She scored extremely high in English and writing. She is currently taking remedial math for the 2nd time, because she wasn't able to pass it the first time. (She shows every indication of having dyscalculia, but, at this point, she doesn't want to spend the hundreds of dollars it would cost to get LD testing through the university, to get a diagnosis and LD accommodations. If she passes remedial algebra and then can't pass regular college math courses, she may decide the testing is worth it at that point.)

Linda

Mischa Holt

Just a heads up.our son was just accepted to a community college in GA
without ACT or SAT. Why do you think they "have to" have tests?

~Mischa



On Feb 4, 2013, at 7:18 AM, Debra Rossing debra.rossing@...
<mailto:debra.rossing%40mastercam.com> > wrote:

> > I'm kind of curious as to whether GA is the ONLY state where people have
to qualify, through testing, to get into so-called "community colleges".
>
>
>

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]





[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

JJ

In Florida, with similar requirements for CC placement testing. Favorite Daughter at age 15 dual-enrolled with similar test scores, bottomed out in math but very high in English -- happily enjoyed all coursework except math until she finished up her eligibility for dual enrollment and had to enroll as a "regular student, faced the same difficulty with passing basic math and was referred by her teacher for dyscalculia testing. Exactly so. It did cost several hundred dollars for the two days of testing but was well worth it -- she was accommodated and went on to university where she was graduated with a perfect GPA and many honors including a Phi Beta Kappa key. She will finish her master's in April and is awaiting word of acceptance into a doctoral program (the GRE math section was abysmal but it doesn't matter at that point if everything else is strong enough, we discovered.)

JJ

--- In [email protected], "lindaguitar"
>
> My daughter just barely got the minimum score needed in math. She scored extremely high in English and writing. She is currently taking remedial math for the 2nd time, because she wasn't able to pass it the first time. (She shows every indication of having dyscalculia, but, at this point, she doesn't want to spend the hundreds of dollars it would cost to get LD testing through the university, to get a diagnosis and LD accommodations. If she passes remedial algebra and then can't pass regular college math courses, she may decide the testing is worth it at that point.)
>
> Linda
>