Katherine

Hi there.

I am new to this list, pleased to meet you all. I have 3 girls ages 8, 6 and 1 and we live in California.

We have homeschooled traditionally (e.g. sit at kitchen table and do school an hour or so each day) since my oldest was in Kindergarten. I realized - after listening to my oldest and my own intuition - that that method of schooling was not working for her. She said she hated school, so well, it was pretty clear some changes were in order :)

After doing a bunch of reading (loved Radical Unschooling) I realized that unschooling would be a much better fit for us. From what I have read, we parents are facilitators, providing information, opportunities, etc. for the things they want to learn and explore.

However, I am finding (and it's been 3 months since we've done any formal school) that they - my oldest 2 - don't really have any academic type interests. And they don't approach me with many questions about things that I can help facilitate. Mostly, they spend their days playing with each other and entertaining themselves.. making up dances and videos, making paper dolls, playing a video game here and there. I have them in lessons/camps/sports as they indicate interest - they recently did a theater camp they loved for example.

Should I be doing more, perhaps strewing things about? Or just engaging with them more - asking what they'd like to do? Perhaps it's not a problem that they're not really interested in academics right now.. but I would hope they would at some point.

Any guidance would be very appreciated!

Katherine Havener

Schuyler

8, 6 and 1 are young. Academic interests may or may not come later, but 8, 6 and 1 are better ages for playing with dolls and creating stories and myths and adventures. Get down on the floor and play with them. Play with them lots and lots. The more you sit and be with them the more you will see that they are actively learning and doing and the easier it will be to offer other things for them to do. Not things that move them away from their interests, but things that move them into their interests more. Help them find dances on youtube that are fun to imitate. http://www.museumofplay.org/fun-games%c2%a0has a paper doll game. Here's a page full of paper doll links: http://marilee.us/paperdolls.html. See if they'd be interested in going to a craft show where dolls are being shown. Robyn Coburn, an unschooling mom, creates amazing: http://www.iggyjingles.blogspot.com.au/, she also has written up and photographed some of the creations that her daughter Jayn has
done: http://sandradodd.com/barbiejuliet. There are more things Barbie that might help you see how much that kind of play and exploration is good and exciting and engaging: http://sandradodd.com/barbie. It may also give you ideas of things to sit and do and play with your girls.
 
Schuyler


________________________________
From: Katherine <kchavener@...>
To: [email protected]
Sent: Tuesday, 31 July 2012, 7:15
Subject: [unschoolingbasics] new unschooler question



 

Hi there.

I am new to this list, pleased to meet you all. I have 3 girls ages 8, 6 and 1 and we live in California.

We have homeschooled traditionally (e.g. sit at kitchen table and do school an hour or so each day) since my oldest was in Kindergarten. I realized - after listening to my oldest and my own intuition - that that method of schooling was not working for her. She said she hated school, so well, it was pretty clear some changes were in order :)

After doing a bunch of reading (loved Radical Unschooling) I realized that unschooling would be a much better fit for us. From what I have read, we parents are facilitators, providing information, opportunities, etc. for the things they want to learn and explore.

However, I am finding (and it's been 3 months since we've done any formal school) that they - my oldest 2 - don't really have any academic type interests. And they don't approach me with many questions about things that I can help facilitate. Mostly, they spend their days playing with each other and entertaining themselves.. making up dances and videos, making paper dolls, playing a video game here and there. I have them in lessons/camps/sports as they indicate interest - they recently did a theater camp they loved for example.

Should I be doing more, perhaps strewing things about? Or just engaging with them more - asking what they'd like to do? Perhaps it's not a problem that they're not really interested in academics right now.. but I would hope they would at some point.

Any guidance would be very appreciated!

Katherine Havener




[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Debra Rossing

> However, I am finding (and it's been 3 months since we've done any formal school) that they - my oldest 2 - don't really have any academic type interests. And they don't approach me with many questions about things that I can help facilitate.

It's time for you to get a new pair of glasses. Or, maybe, take off the ones you've been wearing that divides living into 'academics' and 'not academics'. Living is learning. They may never come to you and say "Mama we'd LOVE for you to sit us down with an algebra workbook." Or "Mama can you teach us about pterodactyls"...or ancient Egypt or whatever. That doesn't mean they won't absorb information about Egypt, algebra and whatever. It just won't look as clearly quantifiable as school academics do. You may not know they've even learned about Queen Hatshepsut until something pops up in conversation or on Cash Cab or wherever and they pop out the information.
Until they are confident that a simple question is not going to turn into a "lesson", they're not likely to ask anything. Take it slowly in that regard. If they ask a question "what kind of flower is that?" while you're out walking, answer it - if you know what it is, tell them "That's a geranium"; if not, let them know that you don't know but you can find out. DON'T make it into a "let's go home and research it" project. If you don't know and you get home and they still want to know, YOU look it up and report back. If they want to sit beside you while you look, okay; if not, also okay. If you find that lots of flower questions keep coming up, bookmark a couple of good websites or get a nice, colorfully illustrated field guide to use as a reference. For you. Over time, they might or they might not, start looking things up themselves so they don't have to wait for you to do it. If the interest in flowers keeps coming up, look for garden club tours and plant your own flower garden and whatever else - not as "academic" lessons but simply because that's what your child enjoys.
It's much like dating - you don't try 'teaching' your beloved about new stuff and making lessons about things. You DO look for what interests that person and how you can pleasure that person by bringing MORE of that around "oh look Love, a new Thai restaurant just opened nearby. I know you love Thai food - how about we go there this Friday?" And, at the same time, you're exposing them to the things you love "I really love Norwegian death metal bands - Megaskeladark is my favorite." He may never love it, but odds are good that if he spots an album by Megaskeladark that you don't have, he might pick it up or at least ask you if you want him to pick it up for you while he's out and about. And, you might see that Vietnamese food is (or isn't) like Thai food and suggest a Vietnamese restaurant one week - expanding the boundaries to something you might both enjoy.

--Deb R

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Katherine

Thank you both very much for your thoughts and ideas - you're right - I am definitely in need (and am looking) for new perspectives! That's why I am here :) I look forward to implementing your suggestions.

Katherine Havener