Marie de Villers

Hi,

I have been following this group for awhile and am very appreciative for all of the feedback to all of the questions. This site is a great resource for me as we slowly move towards the unschooling philosophy.

My son (ds?) is 14,we stopped formal curriculum about 1 1/2 years ago and have been just "chilling" and letting things go where they go since then. It's a big adjustment for everyone (not so much for my son, but all the adults...).

Anyway, I am at the point now where I really need to connect with other unschooling families in the area. We aren't originally "from" our area - have been around here for about 4 years. We have some friends with kids the same age as ds that we've have hung out with in the past (not homeschoolers), but am finding that they seem to be pulling back, that we are perhaps scaring them away. I am starting to feel like other non-homeschooling parents with kids ds' age don't really want to associate with us for whatever reason. And I really need to help him find some "real" life connections. We live in a area with no kids around at all. He is very well connected on-line with his WOW guild. He doesn't complain at all, although he does comment that he wishes there were some kids in the neighbourhood to get together with once in awhile.

I am going to try to organize a gathering of unschooling parents or families interested in learning more about it - probably an evening. There are several homeschooling groups, but very curriculum-based. Just thought that I'd check to see if anyone has any experience with this and if they have any suggestions on how to organize it/approach it. Organizing events isn't really my forte, but will do whatever I need to do.

We are heading to the Northeast unschooling conference in Aug. - can't wait.

Thanks,

Marie

Joyce Fetteroll

Honestly, I wouldn't expect much in terms of friends for your 14 yo to
come from gathering a bunch of unschooling families. But it might help
you to connect with some families.

Maybe if you set up a weekly park day where there was space available
for a variety of activities, making clear that it was expressly for
free play, that might get a regular group of people coming. (And could
be arranged after your "find out about unschooling" gathering.)

If Pam Sorooshian doesn't come along to describe how they managed to
make it successful, I'm pretty sure it's described in the archives
here and/or at the Always Learning list (http://groups.yahoo.com/group/AlwaysLearning
). Search for dragontree.

While unschooling parents have an outlook in common, that doesn't mean
the kids will have anything in common. It makes it easier being around
the parents! There won't be the awkward school questions from kids,
but other than that they won't necessarily find kindred spirits just
because their parents are interested in some wacko child rearing
philosophy ;-) All of my daughter's best friends came through her
interests and all went to school.

Are there gaming groups around? Does he have other interests? Some
kind of WOW club or something related? Any parents who take the time
to get their kids to a gaming club are bound to be pretty cool even if
they do send their kids to school. ;-)

Joyce

Joyce Fetteroll

On Jul 24, 2011, at 2:08 PM, Joyce Fetteroll wrote:

> Search for dragontree.

Oops, sorry, had their website open and forgot to post the address.
I'm not sure how much is explained there but is probably worth looking
at.

http://dragontree.vilter.us/

Joyce

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Marie

Joyce,

That's a good point about not finding someone for my 14 yo in the gathering. I don't think I was expecting to, but it's good that you pointed it out. Hopefully something like the park idea could come out of it.

I'll check out the Always Learning site as you suggested. I recently joined that site actually.

He doesn't have too many interests at the moment besides WOW. He does r/c car racing one a week though. He hasn't connected with anyone there yet - atleast not with anyone around his age, but there are possibilities there. He connects great with the adults though.

I'll check out one of the gaming stores to see if there are any groups happening with WOW. That's a good idea.

Thanks for your feedback.

Marie

plaidpanties666

"Marie" <mdvhome@...> wrote:
> He does r/c car racing one a week though. He hasn't connected with anyone there yet - atleast not with anyone around his age, but there are possibilities there. He connects great with the adults though.
******************

Both my kids have adult friends based on mutual interests. Ray has consistently had more adult friends than same age friends, especially in his teen years, when he found he didn't have much of anything in common with other teens. So don't discount those adult aquaintances! If he's met them through a shared interest They are his "peers" in a more realistic way than people who happen to be close in age.

---Meredith

sarahrandom78

Also it might help if you see that he is connecting with people, maybe not his own age, but you said he connects great with adults. That is one of the things I have to remind myself of. My daughter, age 12, has maybe 2 friends her age. However, she has lots of people she considers friends that are my age. She frequently talks to extended family and many of "my" friends on Facebook. There are, of course, times I go into panic mode thinking, "she doesn't have any friends" At those times, I try to step away from my own fears, and remember that her life isn't going to look the way mine did. I was surrounded by similar aged people so that's what I made friends with. Once out of school though, I have friends of all ages. So the fact that your son isn't in a school setting is probably very freeing to him, because he can befriend people with common interests, rather that just common age.

--- In [email protected], "Marie" <mdvhome@...> wrote:
>
> Joyce,
>
> That's a good point about not finding someone for my 14 yo in the gathering. I don't think I was expecting to, but it's good that you pointed it out. Hopefully something like the park idea could come out of it.
>
> I'll check out the Always Learning site as you suggested. I recently joined that site actually.
>
> He doesn't have too many interests at the moment besides WOW. He does r/c car racing one a week though. He hasn't connected with anyone there yet - atleast not with anyone around his age, but there are possibilities there. He connects great with the adults though.
>
> I'll check out one of the gaming stores to see if there are any groups happening with WOW. That's a good idea.
>
> Thanks for your feedback.
>
> Marie
>

Cindi

Hi Marie!

My son is 12 and sounds so much like yours!! He, also plays WOW, but recently has gotten into Minecraft and Roblox...it's just him, and I to have the problem with finding friends for him. Let me know if you want they can play WOW together, exchange their names, that would be great! I would love to help in any way that I can, you can even reply off post if you would like :)

--- In [email protected], "Marie de Villers" <mdvhome@...> wrote:
>
> Hi,
>
> I have been following this group for awhile and am very appreciative for all of the feedback to all of the questions. This site is a great resource for me as we slowly move towards the unschooling philosophy.
>
> My son (ds?) is 14,we stopped formal curriculum about 1 1/2 years ago and have been just "chilling" and letting things go where they go since then. It's a big adjustment for everyone (not so much for my son, but all the adults...).
>
> Anyway, I am at the point now where I really need to connect with other unschooling families in the area. We aren't originally "from" our area - have been around here for about 4 years. We have some friends with kids the same age as ds that we've have hung out with in the past (not homeschoolers), but am finding that they seem to be pulling back, that we are perhaps scaring them away. I am starting to feel like other non-homeschooling parents with kids ds' age don't really want to associate with us for whatever reason. And I really need to help him find some "real" life connections. We live in a area with no kids around at all. He is very well connected on-line with his WOW guild. He doesn't complain at all, although he does comment that he wishes there were some kids in the neighbourhood to get together with once in awhile.
>
> I am going to try to organize a gathering of unschooling parents or families interested in learning more about it - probably an evening. There are several homeschooling groups, but very curriculum-based. Just thought that I'd check to see if anyone has any experience with this and if they have any suggestions on how to organize it/approach it. Organizing events isn't really my forte, but will do whatever I need to do.
>
> We are heading to the Northeast unschooling conference in Aug. - can't wait.
>
> Thanks,
>
> Marie
>

Debra Rossing

> If he's met them through a shared interest They are his "peers" in a more realistic way than people who happen to be close in age.

When DH started college at age 27, he was a 'true' freshman - that is, he had zero college coursework/credit hours at that point. That meant that his "peers" were the 17-18 yr old "kids" right out of high school who were also freshman. At the same time, we had already been married for two years or so, so his "peers" were young married couples (grad students and the like). And, too, a few of his professors were close to his age as well - closer, in fact, to his age than some of his classmates (classmates were about 10 yrs younger and some of the professors were less than 10 yrs older), so their age and related interests (in his major field) made them his "peers" as well. In fact, one of his friends celebrated his 21st birthday the exact same day as DH turned 30! Yet, their overlapping interests meant they were peers.

Deb R



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