[email protected]

Ok so Im ok with the deschooling thing... we're kicking back and relaxing last night we "watched" episode IV or the Starwars (which is actually the first one from our generation) Dayt wanted to rent it. He lives eats and breathes Star wars the clone wars and is now starting to expand into the movies as well.

So we rented it and he set up his toys and played while it was on... which is common for him he's very tactile. but he wasnt super interested in the movie other than asking me a million questions while it was playin so I couldnt focus on the movie or on him. BUT when I suggested we watch it another time he didnt want to he wanted to "watch" it now... (he's 8) so we muddled through and I didnt let myself get too stressed but honestly my brain works best when it can plan things so I was TRYING to watch the movies and watch him play
(I had Played WITH him with the action figures for a good chunk of the day) and come up with the actual learning that is taking place AND ways to encourage the learning that can be found in this.

I see that there is the 'social studies' involved and even some politics and govt (though he's a bit young to really grasp that yet... he's getting it sort, through this play so I'll leave that alone for now) but I guess what Im asking is who else out there has Star wars Kids... lol and what kind of ideas do you implement in the learning within this interest...

for myself, its torture living in a Star wars mode 24/7 but for him I will comply. I know that this interest isnt likely to fade any time soon so what I am hoping for is to find ways to give him star wars play that can accomplish other things too... Like when I get some extra cash I hope to look for star wars cookie cutters that maybe we can bake some chocolate sugar cookies with... and do other crafts with... I have a cool recipe for 'clay' made out of baking soda and corn starch that dries hard and white so you can decorate christmas tree ornaments and such...

but his interests are 98% star wars right now. but he's not crazy about the star wars books because many of the words are too hard for him and the easy ones are boring. he reads well... but is more tactile in his interests and sitting still to read is few and far between. so now that IM rambling and my sentences and thoughts are running into one another...maybe someone out there has star wars fans in their household as well and could share some ideas...
Blessings
Kimberlie

[kimberlie - I added some spaces to your post b/c I have a hard time reading too-dense text, hope you don't mind ---Meredith]
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

NCMama

~~~I was TRYING to watch the movies and watch him play (I had Played WITH him with the action figures for a good chunk of the day) and come up with the actual learning that is taking place AND ways to encourage the learning that can be found in this.~~~

Don't worry about coming up with learning, or encouraging "actual" learning. Learning is happening. You do NOT need to quantify it or be able to put it in schoolish learning terms for it to be real. You can NOT know what your child is getting out of what he's doing - even a very talkative child can't tell you everything he's learning, because true learning, natural learning, takes place in bits and pieces, things they might not even notice at the time.

Just pay attention to your son. Listen to and answer his questions. Pause the movie if you need to, but you might learn you don't have to. Seth, at 11, will still talk and ask questions during TV shows and movies. I have learned that NOTHING is more important than the connection I have with him. I turn away from the show, make eye contact, and listen to him, and talk to him. I can watch the videos of the So You Think You Can Dance contestants on youtube the next day, or I can figure out what Dr. Who said, or I can rewind if it seems important. But again, nothing's more important than the fact that he wants to talk TO ME, right then - certainly not some TV show.

Learning is happening, all the time. You can't stop it from happening. Trust in it. Trust that whatever he's learning from whatever he's doing will add to a life that is meaningful to him. It might not look like a school curriculum - it probably won't! - and that's perfectly fine, it doesn't need to.

Get over the thought that it's torture to be immersed in Star Wars. Find out what he loves about it. If you can't love it, love that he loves it. Love it because it brings your son pleasure. This time is fleeting!

Please don't think about Star Wars accomplishing anything else. Star Wars, in and of itself, is valuable. Buy the cookie cutters because you want to bring joy to your son, not because he might learn something through cooking.

As much as you can, step away from schoolish thinking - then step away some more.

Caren

plaidpanties666

findingourway@... wrote:
> what kind of ideas do you implement in the learning within this >interest...

Unschooling is somewhat different from eclectic homeschooling because you don't have to do this at all – don't have to implement anything or look for add-ons or tie-ins to promote learning. Nothing. Not a bit of it. What you do need to do is support your son's passions – and lucky for you he has a strong passion already! Hooray! Some kids come out of school or homeschooling very dulled out, so you're guy is ahead of the game in that regard that makes it easier for you, in some ways, if you can quiet the little voice inside saying "but what about…?"

Here are a couple great links that describe how learning anything can tie in to anything else, but keep in mind that the goal isn't to use Star Wars as a jumping off point to present some other topic, its to see that Star Wars itself is naturally tied to so many other things its impossible to be fascinated with it without having at least a brief introduction to a hundred other topics:
http://sandradodd.com/dot/elvis
http://sandradodd.com/connections/

>>So we rented it and he set up his toys and played while it was on... which is common for him he's very tactile. but he wasnt super interested in the movie other than asking me a million questions while it was playin so I couldnt focus on the movie or on him
*********************

Next time, focus on answering his questions and don't worry about the movie – really, by answering his questions you are more focused on him than if you're thinking about future tie-ins and whatnot. Your son is Right Now and he's learning Right Now. You get to be a part of that. Let his questions reassure you that he's not some kind of passive participant, he's actively engaged in learning (which isn't to say that kids should be prompted to ask questions or something, its just a plus when it happens).

> what I am hoping for is to find ways to give him star wars play >that can accomplish other things too...

I think you've misunderstood the nature of strewing (or maybe haven't heard of it) but the goal of offering more is to support his passions and keep life fresh and interesting, not to find ways to sneak learning into kids. Get him things you think he'd like the same way you might pick up a little something for a friend because you just Know so-and-so would love it. In some ways, that's the job of an unschooling parent – to be the best possible friend.

> its torture living in a Star wars mode 24/7

The good news is that once you step back from trolling Star Wars for educational opportunities, you get a little of your own life back. You can play with him for a while, watch part of a movie, and then take a break, go make snacks or do something for yourself for a little. He still needs a lot of your time and energy, but let your time and energy be about him, rather than about what he is or isn't learning, and you won't feel quite so worn down by all those Clone Troopers ;)

Here's one of my all-time-favorite essays by Sandra, on the subject of how natural learning works:

http://sandradodd.com/puddle

---Meredith

Karen Swanay

Adding to what others have said...you are still thinking school too much.
But I will leave that to the others.

Star Wars. We are a Star Wars family. (Star Trek too as well as BattleStar
Gallactica) My sons are 14 and 12. My husband and I are 39. We have all
the movies, the Clone Wars cartoon on DVD (2nd season comes out tomorrow)
and my sons have Star Wars games for their Xboxes....a new one coming
tomorrow too. You won't find cookie cutters for Star Wars because of Lucas
and licensing (the Droid phone has to pay Lucas to use the word Droid!)
But there are other things...Lego, clothing, etc...we probably have it all.


If YOU don't like it...that's OK. But you might try reading the novels (the
ones that are WAY out of his league right now) they are incredibly rich and
textured. They will help you immerse in the universe if you want to learn
to love it. (If you like to read.) There are early readers, junior readers
as well as 600 page novels full of violence and suggested sex. So it's all
there if you want to learn to love it. If you can talk about it with him,
know the planets and why there are only two Sith and no more...he will love
you for loving what he loves. It's about connecting with your kid. You
form connections now because they are important but they also foster a bond
that you can't imagine when they are teens. I have ZERO rebellion and
attitude in my house and both boys are soaking in hormones atm...it's SO
nice to be able to have a non-confrontational relationship with my sons at a
time when my friends are talking about "putting their kids in a barrel and
feeding them through the hole...until they are teens and then seal the hole
up." Can you imagine?! Talking about your kid like that? But their kids
are rebelling and are unhappy and it's all very tense in their homes. Not
here. Star Wars helped us get there.

But in the interest of full disclosure, my husband and I only began dating
because of Star Trek: The Next Generation..so we are all geeks here. And
maybe that makes us odd but that's where we are at.

Karen
From House, MD discussing parents of a child with Autism --
Dr Allison Cameron:Is it so wrong for them to want to have a normal child?
It's normal to want to be normal.
House: Spoken like a true circle queen. See, skinny socially privileged
white people get to draw this neat little circle, and everyone inside the
circle is normal, anyone outside the circle should be beaten, broken and
reset so they can be brought into the circle. Failing that, they should be
institutionalized or worse, pitied.






On Mon, Oct 25, 2010 at 2:52 PM, <findingourway@...> wrote:

>
>
> but his interests are 98% star wars right now. but he's not crazy about the
> star wars books because many of the words are too hard for him and the easy
> ones are boring. he reads well... but is more tactile in his interests and
> sitting still to read is few and far between. so now that IM rambling and my
> sentences and thoughts are running into one another...maybe someone out
> there has star wars fans in their household as well and could share some
> ideas...
> Blessings
> Kimberlie
>
> [kimberlie - I added some spaces to your post b/c I have a hard time
> reading too-dense text, hope you don't mind ---Meredith]
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>
>
>
>


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

[email protected]

I could not focus on answering his questions because he was asking about what is happening RIGHT NOW on the screen and I cant tell whats happening because I cant watch it or hear it... LOL... I have not watched these movies since I was his age and they first came out... I LOVED them back then... Now... I have a hard time with the new ones but can tolerate the last three... Its just that I dont have the answers he wants... because I have to watch the scene to GET the answers he wants but I cant because he's in my face asking 25 questions without coming up for air... LOL dont get me wrong... I'm ok with all of this... I know it will evolve once we get deschooled... I guess what I am needing to know is how to turn any of this into acceptable education in the eyes of the school district... PA is pretty expectant with stuff like this... sooooo less as structure for us but more for structurizing what we eventually do for the state.... I need these ideas... Ok now I havent finished reading all of your post or the others... so Im gonna go finish reading...
Im really HAPPY with all the input... this is what i need... even though I think my questions were slightly misunderstood ... I am aware of the deschooling that we need to do... but for my own brain sake I need to be able to make at least some of what we do fit into the schools expectations for the end of year.

and NO, I will not survive this if we submerge ourselves into nothing but Star wars... I will lose my mind... Im also looking for ways to merge star wars with OUTINGS (besides the park... we go to the playground every day thats sunny which is fine... but I mean OUTINGS) but I DO know that this will come in time as we deschool other things will come and he will grow and evolve... (right now he says he wants to learn about camping but every time I suggest something to do with camping he rolls his eyes...LOL so Ok we like the idea but arent ready for it.) I get that... I really do... but for MY sanity I need ways to break it up for me while keeping it in tune with his precious Star wars...
I will try to get the novels... and if I get the chance... will read them (I dont get much me time to read)
but anyhow I am VERY GRATEFUL for all the input
Blessings
Kimberlie






-----Original Message-----
From: plaidpanties666 <plaidpanties666@...>
To: [email protected]
Sent: Mon, Oct 25, 2010 5:13 pm
Subject: [unschoolingbasics] Re: getting MY feet wet while WE deschool... Looking for ideas






findingourway@... wrote:
> what kind of ideas do you implement in the learning within this >interest...

Unschooling is somewhat different from eclectic homeschooling because you don't have to do this at all – don't have to implement anything or look for add-ons or tie-ins to promote learning. Nothing. Not a bit of it. What you do need to do is support your son's passions – and lucky for you he has a strong passion already! Hooray! Some kids come out of school or homeschooling very dulled out, so you're guy is ahead of the game in that regard that makes it easier for you, in some ways, if you can quiet the little voice inside saying "but what about…?"

Here are a couple great links that describe how learning anything can tie in to anything else, but keep in mind that the goal isn't to use Star Wars as a jumping off point to present some other topic, its to see that Star Wars itself is naturally tied to so many other things its impossible to be fascinated with it without having at least a brief introduction to a hundred other topics:
http://sandradodd.com/dot/elvis
http://sandradodd.com/connections/

>>So we rented it and he set up his toys and played while it was on... which is common for him he's very tactile. but he wasnt super interested in the movie other than asking me a million questions while it was playin so I couldnt focus on the movie or on him
*********************

Next time, focus on answering his questions and don't worry about the movie – really, by answering his questions you are more focused on him than if you're thinking about future tie-ins and whatnot. Your son is Right Now and he's learning Right Now. You get to be a part of that. Let his questions reassure you that he's not some kind of passive participant, he's actively engaged in learning (which isn't to say that kids should be prompted to ask questions or something, its just a plus when it happens).

> what I am hoping for is to find ways to give him star wars play >that can accomplish other things too...

I think you've misunderstood the nature of strewing (or maybe haven't heard of it) but the goal of offering more is to support his passions and keep life fresh and interesting, not to find ways to sneak learning into kids. Get him things you think he'd like the same way you might pick up a little something for a friend because you just Know so-and-so would love it. In some ways, that's the job of an unschooling parent – to be the best possible friend.

> its torture living in a Star wars mode 24/7

The good news is that once you step back from trolling Star Wars for educational opportunities, you get a little of your own life back. You can play with him for a while, watch part of a movie, and then take a break, go make snacks or do something for yourself for a little. He still needs a lot of your time and energy, but let your time and energy be about him, rather than about what he is or isn't learning, and you won't feel quite so worn down by all those Clone Troopers ;)

Here's one of my all-time-favorite essays by Sandra, on the subject of how natural learning works:

http://sandradodd.com/puddle

---Meredith







[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

BRIAN POLIKOWSKY

Kimberly it all sounds great but I can read in your post that you are
have an agenda with all this support for his love of everything Star Wars.
Stop!
Continue to support his interrest and provide cool things related to Star Wars
but, an this it big,
make it for his enjoyment and fun.
Don't turn it into an opportunity for him to learn anything.
It will naturaly happen if you let it go. He can't help but learn.
That is the heart of unschooling what John Holt wrote in his books.
ITs about natural learning. If a child is in a each enviroment and is supported
he can't help but learn.
Even in less then optimal circunstances people learn.
He loves Star Wars and you jut need to support that love as learning will
follow.
If you turn Star Wars into a unit study it may hinder his love or it.
Here some good links for you to read:

http://sandradodd.com/deschooling

http://sandradodd.com/connections/

http://sandradodd.com/subjects

http://sandradodd.com/nest
 
Alex Polikowsky

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Anita

Hi Kimberlie,

My boys were/are star wars nuts and still prefer to be home rather than go out. I understand about it driving you crazy. We’ve moved on to Red vs Blue (from Halo) and that’s truly dreadful.

In my opinion Clone Wars inferior to the originals. The 3 most recent movies are quite bearable and politics/relationships quite interesting , themes too – slavery, good vs evil etc

Advice:

Look out for expos/ shows – we came across a great little Star Wars display in a remote seaside town, kids loved it.

Fan Websites – find out what’s on

501st Legion http://www.501st.com/ - these people dress up and perform at shows put on by others – maybe you could go and see them somewhere

Star Wars Visual Dictionaries – in between the readers and the novels with lots of pics

Collect stuff for him and let him set up his own display at home or in the local library – loads of stuff on ebay/Amazon/yard sales

Encourage scrapbook/lapbooks

Encourage writing alternative scripts/stories using the characters he loves. Ben wrote ‘ Pizza Wars’ combining his 2 great loves!

Encourage dressing up and making costumes ( need to be 18 to join 501st legion). Great for Halloween

Help him build a Millenium Falcon

Encourage him to look up all this stuff and he’ll be developing research skills. Help him order stuff online – either from your library or to buy.

Kids who love Star Wars often like Harry Potter which is more interesting to adults

Study the actors and see what other movies they’ve been in, say ‘oh look, there’s Ewan McGregor aka Obi Wan Kenobi’

Look up what else George Lucas and Spielberg have made, involve your son – from memory Indiana Jones





Kind regards,

Anita



From: [email protected] [mailto:[email protected]] On Behalf Of findingourway@...
Sent: 26 October 2010 11:16 a.m.
To: [email protected]
Subject: Re: [unschoolingbasics] Re: getting MY feet wet while WE deschool... Looking for ideas






I could not focus on answering his questions because he was asking about what is happening RIGHT NOW on the screen and I cant tell whats happening because I cant watch it or hear it... LOL... I have not watched these movies since I was his age and they first came out... I LOVED them back then... Now... I have a hard time with the new ones but can tolerate the last three... Its just that I dont have the answers he wants... because I have to watch the scene to GET the answers he wants but I cant because he's in my face asking 25 questions without coming up for air... LOL dont get me wrong... I'm ok with all of this... I know it will evolve once we get deschooled... I guess what I am needing to know is how to turn any of this into acceptable education in the eyes of the school district... PA is pretty expectant with stuff like this... sooooo less as structure for us but more for structurizing what we eventually do for the state.... I need these ideas... Ok now I havent finished reading all of your post or the others... so Im gonna go finish reading...
Im really HAPPY with all the input... this is what i need... even though I think my questions were slightly misunderstood ... I am aware of the deschooling that we need to do... but for my own brain sake I need to be able to make at least some of what we do fit into the schools expectations for the end of year.

and NO, I will not survive this if we submerge ourselves into nothing but Star wars... I will lose my mind... Im also looking for ways to merge star wars with OUTINGS (besides the park... we go to the playground every day thats sunny which is fine... but I mean OUTINGS) but I DO know that this will come in time as we deschool other things will come and he will grow and evolve... (right now he says he wants to learn about camping but every time I suggest something to do with camping he rolls his eyes...LOL so Ok we like the idea but arent ready for it.) I get that... I really do... but for MY sanity I need ways to break it up for me while keeping it in tune with his precious Star wars...
I will try to get the novels... and if I get the chance... will read them (I dont get much me time to read)
but anyhow I am VERY GRATEFUL for all the input
Blessings
Kimberlie

-----Original Message-----
From: plaidpanties666 <plaidpanties666@... <mailto:plaidpanties666%40yahoo.com> >
To: [email protected] <mailto:unschoolingbasics%40yahoogroups.com>
Sent: Mon, Oct 25, 2010 5:13 pm
Subject: [unschoolingbasics] Re: getting MY feet wet while WE deschool... Looking for ideas

findingourway@... wrote:
> what kind of ideas do you implement in the learning within this >interest...

Unschooling is somewhat different from eclectic homeschooling because you don't have to do this at all – don't have to implement anything or look for add-ons or tie-ins to promote learning. Nothing. Not a bit of it. What you do need to do is support your son's passions – and lucky for you he has a strong passion already! Hooray! Some kids come out of school or homeschooling very dulled out, so you're guy is ahead of the game in that regard that makes it easier for you, in some ways, if you can quiet the little voice inside saying "but what about…?"

Here are a couple great links that describe how learning anything can tie in to anything else, but keep in mind that the goal isn't to use Star Wars as a jumping off point to present some other topic, its to see that Star Wars itself is naturally tied to so many other things its impossible to be fascinated with it without having at least a brief introduction to a hundred other topics:
http://sandradodd.com/dot/elvis
http://sandradodd.com/connections/

>>So we rented it and he set up his toys and played while it was on... which is common for him he's very tactile. but he wasnt super interested in the movie other than asking me a million questions while it was playin so I couldnt focus on the movie or on him
*********************

Next time, focus on answering his questions and don't worry about the movie – really, by answering his questions you are more focused on him than if you're thinking about future tie-ins and whatnot. Your son is Right Now and he's learning Right Now. You get to be a part of that. Let his questions reassure you that he's not some kind of passive participant, he's actively engaged in learning (which isn't to say that kids should be prompted to ask questions or something, its just a plus when it happens).

> what I am hoping for is to find ways to give him star wars play >that can accomplish other things too...

I think you've misunderstood the nature of strewing (or maybe haven't heard of it) but the goal of offering more is to support his passions and keep life fresh and interesting, not to find ways to sneak learning into kids. Get him things you think he'd like the same way you might pick up a little something for a friend because you just Know so-and-so would love it. In some ways, that's the job of an unschooling parent – to be the best possible friend.

> its torture living in a Star wars mode 24/7

The good news is that once you step back from trolling Star Wars for educational opportunities, you get a little of your own life back. You can play with him for a while, watch part of a movie, and then take a break, go make snacks or do something for yourself for a little. He still needs a lot of your time and energy, but let your time and energy be about him, rather than about what he is or isn't learning, and you won't feel quite so worn down by all those Clone Troopers ;)

Here's one of my all-time-favorite essays by Sandra, on the subject of how natural learning works:

http://sandradodd.com/puddle

---Meredith

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]





[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Faith Void

On Mon, Oct 25, 2010 at 3:16 PM, <findingourway@...> wrote:

>
>
>
> I could not focus on answering his questions because he was asking about
> what is happening RIGHT NOW on the screen and I cant tell whats happening
> because I cant watch it or hear it... LOL... I have not watched these movies
> since I was his age and they first came out... I LOVED them back then...
>

*** I will ask my kids to hold on. I will pause the show. Then if I can't
answer the question I will ask if they want to watch it for a few more
minutes until the question is answered. Then once its answered I can stop
the movie again and ask if there is still any questions.

You could also pre-watch the movies or write down questions that the movie
doesn't necessarily address to look up later.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

> Now... I have a hard time with the new ones but can tolerate the last
> three... Its just that I dont have the answers he wants... because I have to
> watch the scene to GET the answers he wants but I cant because he's in my
> face asking 25 questions without coming up for air... LOL dont get me
> wrong... I'm ok with all of this... I know it will evolve once we get
> deschooled... I guess what I am needing to know is how to turn any of this
> into acceptable education in the eyes of the school district... PA is pretty
> expectant with stuff like this...
>

***I home-schooled (radically unschooled) in PA for 5 years. The laws are
not as hard as many people make them out to be. Seriously they are invasive
and I felt angry that I had to "prove my child was learning" but
in practice it isn't that hard. Keep it simple. I had a day planner that I
would jot things down in. Discussed geography (of Tattooine), did math
(figuring out how long the movie runs), etc You don't even have to have it
written that deep. I had a chart that had the typical school subjects on it,
then I would check off if we did something relative that day (just to turn
in, it meant nothing to me). My children were never affected by this. I just
saved whatever things they made.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

> sooooo less as structure for us but more for structurizing what we
> eventually do for the state.... I need these ideas... Ok now I havent
> finished reading all of your post or the others... so Im gonna go finish
> reading...
> Im really HAPPY with all the input... this is what i need... even though I
> think my questions were slightly misunderstood ... I am aware of the
> deschooling that we need to do... but for my own brain sake I need to be
> able to make at least some of what we do fit into the schools expectations
> for the end of year.
>
***Just so you know...I ignored the states needs all year long. I met my
children's needs. Then at portfolio time I started throwing things together.
I kept a box of their papers, etc so I sorted them together. I kept all
our receipts from the library or borders. I threw together a reading
list...no dates, no details. I printed out a scope and sequence and all the
other BS they ask for (askpauline.org) and got on with my life. we also used
an unschooling friendly evaluator the first 2 years but after that I just
used the vice-principal. Seriously, the VP. Not unschooling by any stretch
but I just spoke about all my children's learning, discoveries,
opportunities, etc. I made them sound great (because they are). It isn't
that scary. Check out PA-unschoolers yahoo group. They are great about the
laws but are NOT really unschoolers so ask here for unschooling advice and
legal questions pertinent to PA on there.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

>
> and NO, I will not survive this if we submerge ourselves into nothing but
> Star wars... I will lose my mind...
>

*** That's a choice you are making. You can give him everything he needs, be
supportive and loving and gracious without losing yourself. You can
have other interests just don't expect him too.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

> Im also looking for ways to merge star wars with OUTINGS (besides the
> park... we go to the playground every day thats sunny which is fine... but I
> mean OUTINGS) but I DO know that this will come in time as we deschool other
> things will come and he will grow and evolve... (right now he says he wants
> to learn about camping but every time I suggest something to do with camping
> he rolls his eyes...LOL so Ok we like the idea but arent ready for it.)
>

*** He likely smells you agenda. Its like sneaking a vegetable your kid
doesn't like into their food. It might get a tiny bit on nutrition in but it
does a lot of trust damage. Unschooling is greatly about trust.

If you need to go out to just be out doing something find ways for him to be
able to stay home if he isn't interested. DO what you need to do for you but
not at his expense.

Outings and field trips are still very schooly thinking. Let it go. Some
people like to stay home. It is not going to hurt him if it is meeting his
present need.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

> I get that... I really do... but for MY sanity I need ways to break it up
> for me while keeping it in tune with his precious Star wars...
>

***That's really dismissive. Consider how you would feel if a good friend
spoke (or even thought) about your passion this way.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

> Faith
>


--
www.bearthmama.com


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Tori Otero

findingourway@... wrote:
>
> Hi there Kimberley
>
I'm not sure where deschooling ends and unschooling begins at the
moment.....I guess it's a lot more fluid than I may have thought. Anyhow
we live in England, and Charlie (he's six) left school in
Febuary....altho it feels like we only began to deschool in September.

He has been very into Star Wars including the new Clone Wars.....he is
currently (this past week) heavily into Bakugan, up until late Sept we
controlled TV and he wasn't allowed to watch Cartoon Network, so he is
indulging in a big way now. A number of weeks ago I began to keep a
diary really to reassure myself that there was some (traditional)
learning going on and so that I could say if required to do so what he
has learned....that idea lasted a week and did reassure cos now I don't
feel the need and think I could come up with information if asked.

I can empathise with your position, I really struggle to engage with
animation ( a view left over from my childhood, that it is childish and
silly) I also struggle to watch fantasy 'violence'.....we live in a
small open plan house and sometimes I struggle to tolerate the TV being
on, Charlie likes it on while he is playing, he has started to play in
the living room again just like when he was younger (which is lovely) I
am becoming much better at being able to switch the tv off in my
head...but for those times when it gets to much we bought wireless head
phones....we don't use them often....but they can be of use sometimes.
It is a lot to adjust to....I sometimes forget what a huge shift it is
for us all....

Hope it feels more manageable soon
All good wishes Tori

> I could not focus on answering his questions because he was asking
> about what is happening RIGHT NOW on the screen and I cant tell whats
> happening because I cant watch it or hear it... LOL... I have not
> watched these movies since I was his age and they first came out... I
> LOVED them back then... Now... I have a hard time with the new ones
> but can tolerate the last three... Its just that I dont have the
> answers he wants... because I have to watch the scene to GET the
> answers he wants but I cant because he's in my face asking 25
> questions without coming up for air... LOL dont get me wrong... I'm ok
> with all of this... I know it will evolve once we get deschooled... I
> guess what I am needing to know is how to turn any of this into
> acceptable education in the eyes of the school district... PA is
> pretty expectant with stuff like this... sooooo less as structure for
> us but more for structurizing what we eventually do for the state....
> I need these ideas... Ok now I havent finished reading all of your
> post or the others... so Im gonna go finish reading...
> Im really HAPPY with all the input... this is what i need... even
> though I think my questions were slightly misunderstood ... I am aware
> of the deschooling that we need to do... but for my own brain sake I
> need to be able to make at least some of what we do fit into the
> schools expectations for the end of year.
>
> and NO, I will not survive this if we submerge ourselves into nothing
> but Star wars... I will lose my mind... Im also looking for ways to
> merge star wars with OUTINGS (besides the park... we go to the
> playground every day thats sunny which is fine... but I mean OUTINGS)
> but I DO know that this will come in time as we deschool other things
> will come and he will grow and evolve... (right now he says he wants
> to learn about camping but every time I suggest something to do with
> camping he rolls his eyes...LOL so Ok we like the idea but arent ready
> for it.) I get that... I really do... but for MY sanity I need ways to
> break it up for me while keeping it in tune with his precious Star wars...
> I will try to get the novels... and if I get the chance... will read
> them (I dont get much me time to read)
> but anyhow I am VERY GRATEFUL for all the input
> Blessings
> Kimberlie
>
> -----Original Message-----
> From: plaidpanties666 <plaidpanties666@...
> <mailto:plaidpanties666%40yahoo.com>>
> To: [email protected]
> <mailto:unschoolingbasics%40yahoogroups.com>
> Sent: Mon, Oct 25, 2010 5:13 pm
> Subject: [unschoolingbasics] Re: getting MY feet wet while WE
> deschool... Looking for ideas
>
> findingourway@... wrote:
> > what kind of ideas do you implement in the learning within this
> >interest...
>
> Unschooling is somewhat different from eclectic homeschooling because
> you don't have to do this at all – don't have to implement anything or
> look for add-ons or tie-ins to promote learning. Nothing. Not a bit of
> it. What you do need to do is support your son's passions – and lucky
> for you he has a strong passion already! Hooray! Some kids come out of
> school or homeschooling very dulled out, so you're guy is ahead of the
> game in that regard that makes it easier for you, in some ways, if you
> can quiet the little voice inside saying "but what about…?"
>
> Here are a couple great links that describe how learning anything can
> tie in to anything else, but keep in mind that the goal isn't to use
> Star Wars as a jumping off point to present some other topic, its to
> see that Star Wars itself is naturally tied to so many other things
> its impossible to be fascinated with it without having at least a
> brief introduction to a hundred other topics:
> http://sandradodd.com/dot/elvis
> http://sandradodd.com/connections/
>
> >>So we rented it and he set up his toys and played while it was on...
> which is common for him he's very tactile. but he wasnt super
> interested in the movie other than asking me a million questions while
> it was playin so I couldnt focus on the movie or on him
> *********************
>
> Next time, focus on answering his questions and don't worry about the
> movie – really, by answering his questions you are more focused on him
> than if you're thinking about future tie-ins and whatnot. Your son is
> Right Now and he's learning Right Now. You get to be a part of that.
> Let his questions reassure you that he's not some kind of passive
> participant, he's actively engaged in learning (which isn't to say
> that kids should be prompted to ask questions or something, its just a
> plus when it happens).
>
> > what I am hoping for is to find ways to give him star wars play
> >that can accomplish other things too...
>
> I think you've misunderstood the nature of strewing (or maybe haven't
> heard of it) but the goal of offering more is to support his passions
> and keep life fresh and interesting, not to find ways to sneak
> learning into kids. Get him things you think he'd like the same way
> you might pick up a little something for a friend because you just
> Know so-and-so would love it. In some ways, that's the job of an
> unschooling parent – to be the best possible friend.
>
> > its torture living in a Star wars mode 24/7
>
> The good news is that once you step back from trolling Star Wars for
> educational opportunities, you get a little of your own life back. You
> can play with him for a while, watch part of a movie, and then take a
> break, go make snacks or do something for yourself for a little. He
> still needs a lot of your time and energy, but let your time and
> energy be about him, rather than about what he is or isn't learning,
> and you won't feel quite so worn down by all those Clone Troopers ;)
>
> Here's one of my all-time-favorite essays by Sandra, on the subject of
> how natural learning works:
>
> http://sandradodd.com/puddle
>
> ---Meredith
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>
>

[email protected]

I WISH He enjoyed Harry Potter as much as I do. I have read the series through 8 times and have read the earlier books many more than that when waiting on the 'next book'... Sadly, my son feels for Harry Potter, (right now anyway) the way I feel for Star wars... he's MILDLY interested. just as I am only mildly interested in Star Wars... LOL Oh well... I still hope that he will grow an interest. as for star trek, and other things, so far, NOTHING... he is very devoted to Star Wars and only that... he does also like the disney movie CARS and Sponge Bob... but those are secondary to the SWtcw... It could be worse... LOL he could have gotten into WWE or something (ha over my dead body)
anyway... I AM getting a LOT of good ideas in these conversations and I APPRECIATE YOU ALL SOOO VERY MUCH!!!!
Hugs.
Kimberlie





[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

[email protected]

again I think maybe Im not coming across with what Im really trying to say. right now we are adjusting to him being home 24/7... he's used to having my undivided attention when he gets home from school and now that he's home all the time, he is expecting my undivided attention constantly... He wants me to be his constant playmate and that is just not possible... the household needs to be maintained as well... (meals that he has no interest in helping with need to be prepared, and laundry and dishes etc) He is extremely sensitive and emotional so even the kindest of redirection results in heart break and melt downs so yes, I am burning out from Star wars overload and no, theres no agenda in my suggestion of doing other things besides me wanting a break from star wars. I am a single mother and theres no one in our circle he can really spend time with to give me a break... and he gets VERY cranky staying in the house all the time as do I... getting out is vital for both of us... but getting him interested in outings or coming up with fun outings for us to do.... someone suggested Star Wars Expos ... that sounds neat... I might see if there are any within driving distance... that would be something I could enjoy .
anyhow thanks for the input.





[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

[email protected]

my only agenda is to make this bearable for me... I want to be supportive of his love of star wars but if we continue on the route of playing the same scenes every day I am going to lose my mind... I just want to open up the world for him more... show him more options within his love of star wars... and break it up for myself at the same time... and yes, If I can get something or make something that would work as cookie cutters so he can make star wars cookies and star wars ornaments... I know that thats all it would take for him to get into something... then Im gonna go for it... because monotony is not good.
My main goal is get him thinking outside the box again... like before the school started stiffling him... get him opening his mind more... I know that sounds all so 'controlling' but really Im trying to help him unlock and free up whats been repressed ... I dont know if this is making any sense at all





[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Schuyler

Did you say how long you've been deschooling? It seems like you are really
chomping at the bit to settle into a more routinised life. It will take time and
even with time it will probably end up looking like way more attention being
required than you may have been expecting to give.

It helps a lot with the more basic household tasks if you come up with easy
solutions. Soaking dishes make them easier to wash, put them in a sink of hot
water and come back a few hours later when you have a couple of minutes and wash
them at that point, put boxes and baskets in corners of rooms so that you can
put the things you want to tidy up in them and while you are sitting and
watching, again, a Star Wars movie you can sort through a box or two and figure
out where you want things to go. Or you can fold laundry while you answer
questions about all things Jedi. With meals try and come up with quick things to
eat. Or see if you can get a hold of a crock pot or something and you can put
food on in the morning that you will eat later on in the day.

He loves being with you, he loves engaging with you. He wants your attention and
your time. That's a really cool thing. I know a lot of kids who are no longer
interested in being with their parents in any way at all. Whenever you feel
tired of being the person he comes to, remember that he is sharing his joy with
you, his special things, his loves and his treasures. It's a kind of mental spin
that you can sell yourself. Do lots of that. Lots and lots of seeing how
connected he wants to be to you. The more you work to sit with him, the more you
work to engage with him, to listen to his excitement, to ride out the moments
when you could care less about Darth Maul or whomever, the more he'll fill up
with love and care and a sense of inner peace. And the less he'll need you with
him every moment. It's kind of a game of trust. He is learning to trust you, to
know that you'll be there all the time, and the more he trusts the less he'll
need to keep checking that you are still there. The less you are there the more
he'll have to check for you.

Schuyler



________________________________
From: "findingourway@..." <findingourway@...>
To: [email protected]
Sent: Tuesday, 26 October, 2010 2:46:48
Subject: Re: [unschoolingbasics] Re: getting MY feet wet while WE deschool...
Looking for ideas


again I think maybe Im not coming across with what Im really trying to say.
right now we are adjusting to him being home 24/7... he's used to having my
undivided attention when he gets home from school and now that he's home all the
time, he is expecting my undivided attention constantly... He wants me to be his
constant playmate and that is just not possible... the household needs to be
maintained as well... (meals that he has no interest in helping with need to be
prepared, and laundry and dishes etc) He is extremely sensitive and emotional so
even the kindest of redirection results in heart break and melt downs so yes, I
am burning out from Star wars overload and no, theres no agenda in my suggestion
of doing other things besides me wanting a break from star wars. I am a single
mother and theres no one in our circle he can really spend time with to give me
a break... and he gets VERY cranky staying in the house all the time as do I...
getting out is vital for both of us... but getting him interested in outings or
coming up with fun outings for us to do.... someone suggested Star Wars Expos
... that sounds neat... I might see if there are any within driving distance...
that would be something I could enjoy .
anyhow thanks for the input.





[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]



------------------------------------

Yahoo! Groups Links



[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Schuyler

Look for different things in each scene, look for layers and moments and
details. I've watched a lot of different shows, over and over again. It's a kind
of trick to find moments that you wouldn't have seen without such intense
repetition. You can look for the drinking game moments or the bits that they got
wrong, the joke about Luke's height. You could watch Robot Chicken's and/or
Family Guy's remakes of Star Wars, those have a lot of insight into the movies.
Or Mel Brooks Spaceballs or the muppets did
it: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3YztgdsnvsU. You could look at the costumes
and imagine what it was to be the costume designer or the props and see what is
recognizable as something else having been co-opted. You could get making of
dvds and see how it was done. Open your mind more. Be more curious about the
whole thing.

Schuyler



________________________________
From: "findingourway@..." <findingourway@...>
To: [email protected]
Sent: Tuesday, 26 October, 2010 2:53:23
Subject: Re: [unschoolingbasics] getting MY feet wet while WE deschool...
Looking for ideas


my only agenda is to make this bearable for me... I want to be supportive of his
love of star wars but if we continue on the route of playing the same scenes
every day I am going to lose my mind... I just want to open up the world for him
more... show him more options within his love of star wars... and break it up
for myself at the same time... and yes, If I can get something or make something
that would work as cookie cutters so he can make star wars cookies and star wars
ornaments... I know that thats all it would take for him to get into
something... then Im gonna go for it... because monotony is not good.
My main goal is get him thinking outside the box again... like before the school
started stiffling him... get him opening his mind more... I know that sounds all
so 'controlling' but really Im trying to help him unlock and free up whats been
repressed ... I dont know if this is making any sense at all

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Anita

There are also some cd roms - very old now, based on Star Wars
http://www.lucaslearning.com/products/droidworks.htm and of course all the
themed board games etc, top trumps..

You are lucky it's Star Wars as there is so much stuff around and George
Lucas seems interested in education http://www.lucaslearning.com/index.htm

Just googled Star Wars Exhibition and found this
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Star_Wars:_Where_Science_Meets_Imagination . I
presume you're in the US, which gives you more options, we are in New
Zealand aka Middle Earth.





Kind regards,

Anita



From: [email protected]
[mailto:[email protected]] On Behalf Of
findingourway@...
Sent: 26 October 2010 2:53 p.m.
To: [email protected]
Subject: Re: [unschoolingbasics] getting MY feet wet while WE deschool...
Looking for ideas






my only agenda is to make this bearable for me... I want to be supportive of
his love of star wars but if we continue on the route of playing the same
scenes every day I am going to lose my mind... I just want to open up the
world for him more... show him more options within his love of star wars...
and break it up for myself at the same time... and yes, If I can get
something or make something that would work as cookie cutters so he can make
star wars cookies and star wars ornaments... I know that thats all it would
take for him to get into something... then Im gonna go for it... because
monotony is not good.
My main goal is get him thinking outside the box again... like before the
school started stiffling him... get him opening his mind more... I know that
sounds all so 'controlling' but really Im trying to help him unlock and free
up whats been repressed ... I dont know if this is making any sense at all

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]





[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Debra Rossing

> I could not focus on answering his questions because he was asking
about what is happening RIGHT NOW on the screen and I can't tell what's
happening because I can't watch it or hear it

Turn down the volume and turn on the captioning! You'll be able to hear
the questions and answer them AND see what the dialog is doing at the
time. If it's an in-progress thing he's asking about, let him know that
"um I'm not sure what's going to happen, Princess Leia just recorded a
message in R2D2. Give me a minute and I'll let you know about <whatever
the question was>" It's not unusual for kids to ask questions to find
out what happens next and wanting to know RIGHT NOW about it. And
there's nothing wrong with you saying "I don't know the answer yet"

If sitting still to read is not happening (which isn't odd for a 7 yr
old boy BTW), look for audiobooks maybe IF he's interested in more Star
Wars stories without all the printed text. Or, go ahead and read some of
the early reader ones (the not-600 page ones lol) aloud to him - just
because he can read doesn't mean you can't read aloud to him still, if
he'd be good with that - while he roams the room playing with the
mini-figures and such.

As far as stuff for the state, don't try to figure it out right then
while it's happening. Instead, make yourself a note "watched Star Wars
episode 4" and a few notes on the types of questions he asked as it was
going on. Then corral it all into 'educationalese' once a week, once a
month, whatever. Keep a camera handy maybe to take pictures as he's
building scenarios (and make a note about the story/plotline that he's
developing - plotline, character development, other literary devices
etc).

You don't have to LIKE Star Wars but it's important to be conversant
with it. Same way that you'd be conversant with needle gauge, yarn
types, dropped stitches, knit one purl two if your best friend was
heavily into knitting and whenever you visited, she'd be chatting away
with the needles a-clacking. There's nothing that says you have to stay
still and watch the movie while he's watching it. Maybe, for your own
sake, watch them ahead of time somehow so that you can glance at the
screen and say "Oh this is where Han Solo gets dunked in carbonite..."
to answer his question, and then go back to browsing a magazine. Or,
better yet, do you have a hobby that you can do in parallel (knitting,
cross stitch, baking, etc - get the cookie dough ready then start the
movie, pop the first batch in the oven, set the timer, watch 8 minutes
of movie, pop one batch out, one in, watch 8 minutes of movie, etc).

Right now, though, if he's just coming out of schooling, he's likely
needing a lot of YOU simply because that's been missing - he's hungry
for YOU and until he feels satisfied that you're there, he's going to
keep wanting more. The resistance he's probably feeling is likely
driving the zillion questions rapid fire. Look at this time as
"courtship" - you're getting to know each other (again). Could some of
your resistance be that you're used to having a big old chunk of "quiet
time" to do your own thing while he was doing school and you want that
back? That's not unusual. Again, as in a courtship, it's a dance as the
parties involved seek ways to move together without stepping on toes.
Way back when we were newlyweds, for instance, hubby loved playing a
particular computer game. I'm not much into that stuff (plus we had
exactly ONE computer back then). I could have made him nuts by trying to
pull him away from it. He could have made me nuts by trying to make me
love playing. Instead, we set up a space that had a cozy reading space
nearby to the computer. I could read, nap, watch him (we were newlyweds
after all lol), pay bills, whatever, while he was playing, and we could
chat or just enjoy sharing the space. I was conversant with the game
enough to ask appropriate questions or understand his
happiness/frustrations. He'd ask about what I was reading, maybe suggest
a next thing to read if I was nearing the end, etc. Key thing: there
were no strings attached to suggestions. Could be that those rolled eyes
at the idea of 'doing camping' feels to him like you're trying to pull
him away from Star Wars to do something "educational". That'll meet with
resistance for a time, until he can feel confident that there are no
strings attached to your suggestions (no lesson plans brewing in the
back of your mind to make sure that the suggestion is 'educational').

As far as camping, odds are he's interested in camping but is afraid
that if he goes to do that, he will miss out on his beloved Star Wars in
some way. After all, he's probably used to limited time with
videos/TV/toys simply because of school stuff having priority. Can you
set up a tent in the back yard and make that the base camp on Hoth or
Luke's home on Tattoine? Camping and Star Wars need not be mutually
exclusive, KWIM?

Gotta say, in the interest of full disclosure, we're a family of 'nerds'
as well - it's a family event to sit down and watch Dr. Who episodes as
they come out (we've got all the DVDs for the new series), Star Trek and
Star Wars DVDs, etc. Lego Star Wars videogames for the PlayStation, Star
Wars Monopoly games (both versions), etc.

Deb R


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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

otherstar

From: findingourway@...
Sent: Monday, October 25, 2010 8:53 PM
To: [email protected]
Subject: Re: [unschoolingbasics] getting MY feet wet while WE deschool... Looking for ideas


>>>my only agenda is to make this bearable for me... I want to be supportive of his love of star wars but if we continue on the route of playing the same scenes every day I am going to lose my mind... I just want to open up the world for him more... show him more options within his love of star wars... and break it up for myself at the same time... and yes, If I can get something or make something that would work as cookie cutters so he can make star wars cookies and star wars ornaments... I know that thats all it would take for him to get into something... then Im gonna go for it... because monotony is not good.
My main goal is get him thinking outside the box again... like before the school started stiffling him... get him opening his mind more... I know that sounds all so 'controlling' but really Im trying to help him unlock and free up whats been repressed ... I dont know if this is making any sense at all<<<
First, I am going to say that perhaps you are the one that needs to open your mind and unlock what has been repressed. I say that because the idea of supporting a kid that is doing the same thing all the time can be foreign to somebody that is in the deschooling process. I know that I still have scripts in my head from when I was a kid. I feel like society pushes variety. It is a whole lot easier to support your child doing the same thing everyday if you see it as valuable. If you step away from the idea that you have to have variety, it might be easier to do the same thing every day. Do you wake up every day thinking, "Oh my, are we going to play that same scene again today?" or do you wake up thinking, "Wow, I wonder if we are going to play that same scene today? I thought of something that I could add to the scene that might make it more interesting." A small change in how you think about playing those same things can have a huge impact on how bearable a situation is.

Having said all that, I do try to find ways of changing things up a bit. I get in ruts because it can sometimes be hard to think of things to do that are outside the box. When I want a change, I always suggest that we go shopping to look for more stuff that fits their current interest. We go to thrift stores and toy stores. We get online and look on Amazon or other online sellers. A lot of times, we find stuff that we didn't know existed. Nothing is more exciting than finding something new that feeds my girls interests. A lot of times, I will go to google shopping and do searches to see what is available. Right now, my girls love Pokemon so we will go do random searches on Pokemon to see what is even available. We have an Amazon wish list that my girls are always populating with stuff that they find interesting. It is a great way for me to see what all they are interested in at any given moment.

If you like to sew, perhaps you can offer to sew a costume or make room décor. If he loves the characters, perhaps you can suggest shopping for more characters and accessories for the scenes that he likes to play.

A lot of times, kids follow the parents lead. With my girls, all I have to do is plant a seed and they run with it. I find that if I open my mind, my girls will fill it with all kinds of ideas. They just have to know that I am open and receptive to whatever it is that they may suggest.

Connie


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

[email protected]

And he may need a little less of you at times. Instead of trying to find something schoolish to do, relax or do something you want to do.

Heck, even the 4-year-old wants a little time to himself. He may race into the kitchen to show me his fabulous new creation but there is that 5-minute gap where he is concentrating and doesn't need my constant intrusion.

And you can admire and help and aid and abet whatever this week's interest is without actually having any interest or ability in that area yourself. My son's into video games. My guy always walks into a wall when I try to do anything in one of those games. At 7 or so, DS was into those collectible card games, can't think of the name now. I could ooh and aah and drive and buy and let him show me things without actually doing any of it myself.

The idea is not to stop being you but to facilitate DS in being himself.

And strewing is a fine idea. But it has to be a natural thing. Not something you thought looked "educational" in the store. And even then. . . DS picked up a book on psychology for DD a few weeks ago. She says she's interested, he sees the book, he buys it. But she has barely touched it. And I think it's because she didn't pick it out herself. My theory anyway. :) But the point is that what looks like a natural connection to you may not seem that way to anyone else.

Nance

--- In [email protected], "plaidpanties666" <plaidpanties666@...> wrote:
>
>
>
> findingourway@ wrote:
> > what kind of ideas do you implement in the learning within this >interest...
>
> Unschooling is somewhat different from eclectic homeschooling because you don't have to do this at all – don't have to implement anything or look for add-ons or tie-ins to promote learning. Nothing. Not a bit of it. What you do need to do is support your son's passions – and lucky for you he has a strong passion already! Hooray! Some kids come out of school or homeschooling very dulled out, so you're guy is ahead of the game in that regard that makes it easier for you, in some ways, if you can quiet the little voice inside saying "but what about…?"
>
> Here are a couple great links that describe how learning anything can tie in to anything else, but keep in mind that the goal isn't to use Star Wars as a jumping off point to present some other topic, its to see that Star Wars itself is naturally tied to so many other things its impossible to be fascinated with it without having at least a brief introduction to a hundred other topics:
> http://sandradodd.com/dot/elvis
> http://sandradodd.com/connections/
>
> >>So we rented it and he set up his toys and played while it was on... which is common for him he's very tactile. but he wasnt super interested in the movie other than asking me a million questions while it was playin so I couldnt focus on the movie or on him
> *********************
>
> Next time, focus on answering his questions and don't worry about the movie – really, by answering his questions you are more focused on him than if you're thinking about future tie-ins and whatnot. Your son is Right Now and he's learning Right Now. You get to be a part of that. Let his questions reassure you that he's not some kind of passive participant, he's actively engaged in learning (which isn't to say that kids should be prompted to ask questions or something, its just a plus when it happens).
>
> > what I am hoping for is to find ways to give him star wars play >that can accomplish other things too...
>
> I think you've misunderstood the nature of strewing (or maybe haven't heard of it) but the goal of offering more is to support his passions and keep life fresh and interesting, not to find ways to sneak learning into kids. Get him things you think he'd like the same way you might pick up a little something for a friend because you just Know so-and-so would love it. In some ways, that's the job of an unschooling parent – to be the best possible friend.
>
> > its torture living in a Star wars mode 24/7
>
> The good news is that once you step back from trolling Star Wars for educational opportunities, you get a little of your own life back. You can play with him for a while, watch part of a movie, and then take a break, go make snacks or do something for yourself for a little. He still needs a lot of your time and energy, but let your time and energy be about him, rather than about what he is or isn't learning, and you won't feel quite so worn down by all those Clone Troopers ;)
>
> Here's one of my all-time-favorite essays by Sandra, on the subject of how natural learning works:
>
> http://sandradodd.com/puddle
>
> ---Meredith
>

[email protected]

DH works outside the house. Then there are the days he's home. Love him to pieces but damn if he isn't in my way and messing up my routine.

It sounds like a little bit of that is going on with you and your DS.

And then he has been to school until now. Where, I'll bet, you took him and talked up how great it was and that was everyone's "normal."

His normal -- constant interaction with a room of kids and a teacher for 6 hours a day. Your normal -- drop him off and have all that lovely time to do things.

Now? Not so much. For either of you.

And he's very young. 7 is young to understand whether or not this is really how things are going to be now.

If this IS how things are going to be, maybe your DS needs know that. To be explicitly told that, you know, this isn't just a vacation, just a temporary thing. That you have all kinds of time and all of Star Wars or anything else doesn't need to be conquered in a day. And that you'll want to think of other things you'd like to do -- as time goes on.

Like what? Well, we could go get a pumpkin and carve it. That and some Star Wars. Sounds like a fine day.

Or go get the candy for the trick-or-treaters. And some cool Star Wars bags to put the candy in.

"Now I have to start some laundry. Or load the dishwasher. But I'm right here and will be right back and isn't this great that we get to spend all of our days liks this from now on."

And repeat as needed until he gets it -- that you and he are together in this and will try to enjoy each others' company while, of course, getting on with the mundane things that need doing to keep things functioning. And that this is real. Really how you are going to live now so he can relax and enjoy and figure it out with you.

Nance

P.S. Car washes and vacuums -- that's what 4yo Dear Nephew is into. Star Wars sounds pretty interesting compared. :)



--- In [email protected], findingourway@... wrote:
>
>
> again I think maybe Im not coming across with what Im really trying to say. right now we are adjusting to him being home 24/7... he's used to having my undivided attention when he gets home from school and now that he's home all the time, he is expecting my undivided attention constantly... He wants me to be his constant playmate and that is just not possible... the household needs to be maintained as well... (meals that he has no interest in helping with need to be prepared, and laundry and dishes etc) He is extremely sensitive and emotional so even the kindest of redirection results in heart break and melt downs so yes, I am burning out from Star wars overload and no, theres no agenda in my suggestion of doing other things besides me wanting a break from star wars. I am a single mother and theres no one in our circle he can really spend time with to give me a break... and he gets VERY cranky staying in the house all the time as do I... getting out is vital for both of us... but getting him interested in outings or coming up with fun outings for us to do.... someone suggested Star Wars Expos ... that sounds neat... I might see if there are any within driving distance... that would be something I could enjoy .
> anyhow thanks for the input.
>
>
>
>
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>

Vickisue Gray

Meredith wrote: "...keep in mind that the goal isn't to use Star Wars as a
jumping off point to present some other topic, its to see that Star Wars itself
is naturally tied to so many other things its impossible to be fascinated with
it without having at least a brief introduction to a hundred other topics:"

EXACTLY!!

Oh, last night a friend of mine asked which would win if the Millennium Falcon
and the Enterprise fought. My son said, " Enterprise, hands down!" And then he
went off on a lengthy dissertation on the abilities of both ships, pros and cons
and why, he knew the Enterprise, even though the Falcon is still awesome, would
win.

=)

Vicki





[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

plaidpanties666

Faith Void <littlemsvoid@...> wrote:
>> If you need to go out to just be out doing something find ways for him to be
> able to stay home if he isn't interested. DO what you need to do for you but
> not at his expense.

Bringing a laptop or portable game is a great way to make outtings a win-win. You can do something for you And he can have something he enjoys too.

---Meredith

plaidpanties666

findingourway@... wrote:
>he's used to having my undivided attention when he gets home from school and now that he's home all the time, he is expecting my undivided attention constantly...
***********

Well of course he does! He likes you and "you" have been a limited commodity - your attention, anyway. Once he gets used to the idea that your attention is no longer so limited, he won't cling so much, but right now Every tiny little bit you pull away will motivate him to cling harder. Give him as much as you possibly can!

> He wants me to be his constant playmate and that is just not possible...
*************

Of course there are real limits in life, but stretch yourself as much as you can. It won't be forever. When he's upset that he can't have all of you right now, be sympathetic - don't try to talk him out of being upset, let him be upset. Let him feel his feelings and express them. Say "I'm sorry" and mean it. Get back to being with him and his other big passion as soon and as fully as you can.

Right now, while he's deschooling, he's like an infant. He Needs so much more than he will when he's had a chance to heal. Pushing back against his needs is like making a baby wait, or cry - it doesn't help him. Yes, that means your needs go on the back burner for awhile, but only for awhile - six months to a year. That may be longer than you expected! If so, its important to change your perspective and the way you get your needs met so you're not burning out while Also being kind and gentle of your son's healing process.

---Meredith

Faith Void

Just to add: We recently purchased portable DVD player (for our 3000 mile
move). They were under $100 each with the protection against anything plan!
We use them all the time now. It makes errand running with a 3 year old
amazingly smooth. You can even go into a store with them...we use ear
phones. Oh it is pure joy for everyone!

Faith

On Tue, Oct 26, 2010 at 7:29 AM, plaidpanties666
<plaidpanties666@...>wrote:

>
>
> Faith Void <littlemsvoid@...> wrote:
> >> If you need to go out to just be out doing something find ways for him
> to be
> > able to stay home if he isn't interested. DO what you need to do for you
> but
> > not at his expense.
>
> Bringing a laptop or portable game is a great way to make outtings a
> win-win. You can do something for you And he can have something he enjoys
> too.
>
> ---Meredith
>
> _
>
--
www.bearthmama.com


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

[email protected]

Is there anyone you know who is really into the star wars movies? My mom could watch star wars (movies, cartoons, what have you), harry potter, lord of the rings, etc. Over and over and over. She is perfect for my son, every now and then she sits down and answers all his questions and will stay up late at night just so they could do a marathon. Maybe if you have a friend that likes star wars, you could see if they would be willing to sit and answer all the questions every now and then.

Or if you can find a fan group/gaming group that wouldn't mind doing a sort of big brother type of thing with your son. You could take him to the gaming store or something where they could watch the movies, play the games and such.

~Megan
Sent on the Sprint� Now Network from my BlackBerry�

-----Original Message-----
From: Schuyler <s.waynforth@...>
Sender: [email protected]
Date: Tue, 26 Oct 2010 09:42:32
To: <[email protected]>
Reply-To: [email protected]
Subject: Re: [unschoolingbasics] getting MY feet wet while WE deschool... Looking for ideas

Look for different things in each scene, look for layers and moments and
details. I've watched a lot of different shows, over and over again. It's a kind
of trick to find moments that you wouldn't have seen without such intense
repetition. You can look for the drinking game moments or the bits that they got
wrong, the joke about Luke's height. You could watch Robot Chicken's and/or
Family Guy's remakes of Star Wars, those have a lot of insight into the movies.
Or Mel Brooks Spaceballs or the muppets did
it: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3YztgdsnvsU. You could look at the costumes
and imagine what it was to be the costume designer or the props and see what is
recognizable as something else having been co-opted. You could get making of
dvds and see how it was done. Open your mind more. Be more curious about the
whole thing.

Schuyler



________________________________
From: "findingourway@..." <findingourway@...>
To: [email protected]
Sent: Tuesday, 26 October, 2010 2:53:23
Subject: Re: [unschoolingbasics] getting MY feet wet while WE deschool...
Looking for ideas


my only agenda is to make this bearable for me... I want to be supportive of his
love of star wars but if we continue on the route of playing the same scenes
every day I am going to lose my mind... I just want to open up the world for him
more... show him more options within his love of star wars... and break it up
for myself at the same time... and yes, If I can get something or make something
that would work as cookie cutters so he can make star wars cookies and star wars
ornaments... I know that thats all it would take for him to get into
something... then Im gonna go for it... because monotony is not good.
My main goal is get him thinking outside the box again... like before the school
started stiffling him... get him opening his mind more... I know that sounds all
so 'controlling' but really Im trying to help him unlock and free up whats been
repressed ... I dont know if this is making any sense at all

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]




[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

plaidpanties666

Its so hard to convey tone in an email - read the following as a pep-talk, not a lecture ;)

findingourway@... wrote:
>It could be worse... LOL he could have gotten into WWE or something (ha over my dead body)
*************

Please, Please! don't use this kind of language on this list! I know its really "normal" in most parenting circles to say things like this about kids, but it isn't okay here - its massively disrespectful to your son as a human being and people come to radical unschooling lists (in part) to get away from that kind of dismissiveness.

I know it wasn't your intention to be disrespectful. Part of building better relationships with children involves getting away from this kind of thinking - even as a joke.

>>make this bearable for me

You've made several statements to this effect and while most of us can relate in the sense that kids often have different interests from parents, it doesn't help to stay stuck in the mindset that your child's passion is something to be endured. That kind of thinking is a wedge between you and your child. Endurance, patience, bearing with it - none of that goes nearly far enough. Find things to love about Star Wars. It doesn't have to be everything, but enough to get you past endurance to actually being able to enjoy what your child is interested in.

Spongebob, the Eds, Skateboarding, and Death Metal are all things I've thought at one point "I can't stand it". Getting past that took an effort of will. Its easy to stay stuck at "can't". Its easy to say "I'll lose my mind" - do it! Lose your mind! Let go of whatever you're hanging onto that's keeping you from embracing something that your child holds in high regard.

---Meredith

plaidpanties666

findingourway@... wrote:
>I just want to open up the world for him more... show him more options within his love of star wars...
*************

More options are good! But at the same time, resist the temptation to "open up the world" - especially right now, while he's deschooling. Right now he needs lots of attention and lots of "filling up" on the one loved thing, so give him that. Once he's "full" he won't need nearly as much or as long and *he'll* start looking for more, naturally.

> My main goal is get him thinking outside the box again...

To do that he needs to heal - and he won't if you keep shoving "more" at him. Eventually he'll Want more.

Your big deschooling challenge is for You to think outside the box. Right now, that "box" is the insidious message that its somehow bad to be all wrapped up in something. Getting all wrapped up and imersing yourself in something is one of the main ways people learn - but school teaches people that's bad. That learning happens in little segments of different things and its better to be "well rounded". Naturaly learning doesn't look anything like school learning. Step outside the box of school and look at your son. He knows how to learn - he's doing it right now.

---Meredith

plaidpanties666

> > I could not focus on answering his questions because he was asking about
> > what is happening RIGHT NOW>>

In addition to what Faith posted, its okay to admit you don't know, or ask for your son's opinion. That's one of the good things about unschooling - its not up to you to have all the answers or teach anything! What he things is just as important.
---Meredith

[email protected]

to clarify I never said it was bad to be wrapped up in his star wars.





-----Original Message-----
From: plaidpanties666 <plaidpanties666@...>
To: [email protected]
Sent: Tue, Oct 26, 2010 1:31 pm
Subject: [unschoolingbasics] Re: getting MY feet wet while WE deschool... Looking for ideas




findingourway@... wrote:
>I just want to open up the world for him more... show him more options within his love of star wars...
*************

More options are good! But at the same time, resist the temptation to "open up the world" - especially right now, while he's deschooling. Right now he needs lots of attention and lots of "filling up" on the one loved thing, so give him that. Once he's "full" he won't need nearly as much or as long and *he'll* start looking for more, naturally.

> My main goal is get him thinking outside the box again...

To do that he needs to heal - and he won't if you keep shoving "more" at him. Eventually he'll Want more.

Your big deschooling challenge is for You to think outside the box. Right now, that "box" is the insidious message that its somehow bad to be all wrapped up in something. Getting all wrapped up and imersing yourself in something is one of the main ways people learn - but school teaches people that's bad. That learning happens in little segments of different things and its better to be "well rounded". Naturaly learning doesn't look anything like school learning. Step outside the box of school and look at your son. He knows how to learn - he's doing it right now.

---Meredith







[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Debra Rossing

Definitely! the Enterprise has better shields, more weapons, can go to
warp speed in seconds (none of that long calculation stuff that Han and
Chewie have to do to outrun the pursuing ships), lots more people to man
the weapons (people who know how to use them). For that matter, all
they'd have to do is put the Falcon in the tractor beam and then beam
the whole lot of them into the brig directly. Wouldn't even have to
board the ship.

Deb R


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Debra Rossing

LOL yeah, there have been times when DS has had his face in a Nintendo
DS game and I just put an arm around his shoulder to guide him through
parking lots and the like. Although, nowadays, it's equally likely that
he'll have his face in the Nook reading his latest favorite book. (BTW
he was capable of reading quite well by the time he was 6 but he didn't
choose to read books once he'd figured reading out until he was about 10
or 11 - now he's 12 and sometimes chooses reading over videogames or
TV/movies/videos).

Deb R


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intended solely for the use of the individual or entity to whom they
are addressed. If you have received this email in error please notify
the system manager.

This footnote also confirms that this email message has been swept by
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www.mastercam.com
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