gcriminy

Hello, everyone!

I have an almost-seven-year-old. And it really struck me during the recent Feeling Like I Failed Them when someone (I think it was Nance), said "Did you offer cool things? Did you strew cool things? Did you take them to cool places? Were you interested and interesting? Did you feed passions?"

I honestly can't tell if I do/am these things or not. How does one develop a doing-the-right-things-inner-ometer? All of the people we know locally have their children in school or in a full homeschool curriculum and seem to think our daughter is spoiled and/or on the wrong track.

Thanks, everybody.

--Jennifer

Robin Krest

My almost 7 year old is really into manga. We have spent 4.5 hours today watching Soul Eater via Netflix...and talking about the plot, history mentioned (Excalibur and King Arthur), characters, Japanese weapons used in the show, looked up info on Wikipedia, drew pictures, and he is re-enacting some scenes. At the library today I will look for some books about the history, places, etc, as well as peruse the Manga section for some more books and videos.

He is totally enjoying himself, but if he is not I know I am off the mark. This passion will ebb and flow...in the next few days he will probably be done with this for a while and move on to something else. We try new things that may interest either of us...if we like them we explore more, if not we drop them.

Robin


S/V Lammeroo

---------- Original Message ----------
From: "gcriminy" <senlin_says@...>
To: [email protected]
Subject: [unschoolingbasics] Still beginning
Date: Mon, 25 Oct 2010 12:41:53 -0000

Hello, everyone!

I have an almost-seven-year-old. And it really struck me during the recent Feeling Like I Failed Them when someone (I think it was Nance), said "Did you offer cool things? Did you strew cool things? Did you take them to cool places? Were you interested and interesting? Did you feed passions?"

I honestly can't tell if I do/am these things or not. How does one develop a doing-the-right-things-inner-ometer? All of the people we know locally have their children in school or in a full homeschool curriculum and seem to think our daughter is spoiled and/or on the wrong track.

Thanks, everybody.

--Jennifer



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Faith Void

Unschooling lives look different from mainstream lives. It stands to reason
that our children are different.

Do you take your daughter to events, places, activities and other cool
things?

Does your daughter have any interests?
My dd3 loves all things animal and Diego. She also loves to dress up in
costumes of animals. The way I provide for this passion is to make Diego
videos/shows/books/toys available to her. If I am at the shops and see
something Diego or animal related that I think she might enjoy I pick it up.
If I see a local activity that support that interest I offer it to her. We
play Diego (go on adventures around our home). I watch Diego with her and we
discuss it as much (or as little) as she wants.
ds7 loves video games. To support this passion we find ways to give he lots
of space to play his games. Dh plays with him. We buy him games that he
wants. We take him to gaming stores, conventions etc. He has a number of
game systems and a variety of games and access to xbox live. I pick up items
that are related to his favorite games when I see them (I love thrift
shops). We recently found Halo Lego guys. So that fed two passions :-)
dd13 loves to be around her friends to communicate and have adventures and
make stuff. We have made it a priority for her to have a cell phone with
unlimited text and a bus pass for roaming the city. She has a computer with
internet access. I purchase her craft items she is interested in. I find
strange things and present them to her...sometimes she is thrilled other
times uninterested. Either way is ok. We also go on many far flung
adventures as a family with her in mind. We frequent unschooling conferences
and I even plan stuff based on her interests.

Those are just a few examples of supporting passions.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Is your child happy (in general)? Does she feel satisfied?

We've moved recently (3000 miles) there was some rocky parts, to say the
least. There were some times our children felt unsatisfied, frustrated and
unhappy. Their needs weren't being met. We recognized that and did what we
could to support them, to fill their needs and desires. That is different in
each kid. For my dd3 it meant a lot of extra carrying in her backpack and
more nursing than usual. For ds7 it meant more hugs and sensory input. Lots
more attention for both over all. For dd13 it meant driving her to say
goodbye to all her east coast friends. That meant a drive from PA to MA, WV
and MD. Plus extended local driving.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------


Strewing is another word for providing potentially interesting things for
you child. If you are in tune with your child you will know some things they
enjoy. Start there. I know that my children love sensory fun, I found a
sand/water table at the thrift store for $5! I know that this will provide
fun all winter long. I can fill each side, there are two. I am not limited
to sand and water. I can use shaving cream or rice or dried beans, heck I
could even use cooked beans :-) That's one aspect of strewing. Another is to
find or buy something and leave it laying about. Like throwing a new book on
the coffee table or shelf. If your child loves play-dough then finding
several other pliable moldable mediums to work with would be strewing.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I have more of a problem being interested in my own pursuits. I forget
sometimes that I need to have my own passions. But I know that I need to
feed myself and I feel like it is important that my kids see adults that
have passion. It is normal for them.

Faith

On Mon, Oct 25, 2010 at 5:41 AM, gcriminy <senlin_says@...> wrote:

>
>
> Hello, everyone!
>
> I have an almost-seven-year-old. And it really struck me during the recent
> Feeling Like I Failed Them when someone (I think it was Nance), said "Did
> you offer cool things? Did you strew cool things? Did you take them to cool
> places? Were you interested and interesting? Did you feed passions?"
>
> I honestly can't tell if I do/am these things or not. How does one develop
> a doing-the-right-things-inner-ometer? All of the people we know locally
> have their children in school or in a full homeschool curriculum and seem to
> think our daughter is spoiled and/or on the wrong track.
>
> Thanks, everybody.
>
> --Jennifer
>
>
>
> --
www.bearthmama.com


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Kelly Lovejoy

What cool things did you do/offer toDAY? What about yesterday? What do you have planned for tomorrow? The next day? The next week?


Does anyone have a quick link to Deb's list of things to do during the winter?


It doesn't have to be an "inner" meter. What *concrete* things can you name?


If none, then you're doing too little. WAAAY too little!


Don't worry what others think of your child or your parenting. Worry about what your *child* thinks!


~Kelly

Kelly Lovejoy
"There is no single effort more radical in its potential for saving the world than a transformation of the way we raise our children." Marianne Williamson



-----Original Message-----
From: gcriminy <senlin_says@...>
I honestly can't tell if I do/am these things or not. How does one develop a
doing-the-right-things-inner-ometer? All of the people we know locally have
their children in school or in a full homeschool curriculum and seem to think
our daughter is spoiled and/or on the wrong track.





[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

plaidpanties666

"gcriminy" <senlin_says@...> wrote:
>> I honestly can't tell if I do/am these things or not.

Seven can be an especially hard age for this, too, because there's a big developmental shift around this time that can lead to kids saying "I'm bored" alot. They're outgrowing little-kid stuff but don't know what they want Next. So it can help a lot to offer new things, rather than just looking at pre-existing interests.

There are all sorts of idea lists here:
http://sandradodd.com/strewing

Now that I'm the working parent, one of the ways I contribute to regular strewing is to buy new things - books, games, video games, movies, toys... I try to get something new every week in part because we only have one reliable car, so my 9yo doesn't get Out every week unless we do something on the weekend. Since I don't have the benefit of actually getting to see what Mo does during the day, I've given myself a goal of one new thing to strew a week and one fabulous outting a month. If there's not interest, that's okay - we don't Have to do those things, but it helps keep things fresh and interesting.

Ultimately the measure of "am I doing enough?" is to ask yourself if your kids are happy and if you can do more. The two aren't mutually exclusive - looking for ways to do more is a good idea in general, to keep from getting stuck in a rut, just keep in mind its not a race to have the "most enriched" childhood, either. If one more outting makes your child roll her eyes and say "do we Have To?" then maybe it would be better to spend more time at home. If one more game or movie marathon is met with an utter lack of enthusiasm, maybe it would be better to back off a little and watch.

---Meredith (Mo 9, Ray 17)

Deena Seckinger

--- On Mon, 10/25/10, Kelly Lovejoy <kbcdlovejo@...> wrote:

Don't worry what others think of your child or your parenting. Worry about what your *child* thinks!

-----------------
Kelly, I totally just took that for my FB status!

Deena in McDonough, GA



"Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid." — Albert Einstein
















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