~*~Tracy Austin

My 4 y/o son has a vision problem and needs corrective lenses to keep his eyes straight, so he can develop stereopsis (3-d vision) that he lacks right now. Same as his sister but her lenses also correct her vision. So she would always wear hers at this age, while he resists wearing his.

I am at a loss as to what to do to remain relaxed and calm myself when he refuses to wear them. He doesn't see the benefit because his near and far vision is fine. Right now what I do is say "no TV" if he refuses to wear them. But he's often ok with that, so it doesn't "work."

I can't stand myself for not coming up with something that isn't a punishment for not wearing them and not being able to just be OK with him not wearing them. He's just 4 and has no idea how not wearing them now will impact his day to day life in the future. I realize he can have a good life without 3-d vision, but with crossed eyes, that will impact him everyday, for his whole life, so that's weighing on my mind. Help?

many thanks,
Tracy


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

colleenkellyp

Are contacts an option? My niece was born with cataracts and wore contacts from the time she was three months old until she got glasses at age 4 (she wears her glasses because she literally can't see without them).

Colleen

--- In [email protected], "~*~Tracy Austin" <webinfusion@...> wrote:
>
> My 4 y/o son has a vision problem and needs corrective lenses to keep his eyes straight, so he can develop stereopsis (3-d vision) that he lacks right now. Same as his sister but her lenses also correct her vision. So she would always wear hers at this age, while he resists wearing his.
>
> I am at a loss as to what to do to remain relaxed and calm myself when he refuses to wear them. He doesn't see the benefit because his near and far vision is fine. Right now what I do is say "no TV" if he refuses to wear them. But he's often ok with that, so it doesn't "work."
>
> I can't stand myself for not coming up with something that isn't a punishment for not wearing them and not being able to just be OK with him not wearing them. He's just 4 and has no idea how not wearing them now will impact his day to day life in the future. I realize he can have a good life without 3-d vision, but with crossed eyes, that will impact him everyday, for his whole life, so that's weighing on my mind. Help?
>
> many thanks,
> Tracy
>
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>

[email protected]

If it's any comfort, we are going through a similar thing with our 3-1/2 yo nephew. We encourage him to wear the glasses when reading, etc., but, short of duct-taping the glasses to his head, we really have no choice when he says: "No way!"

We are, otoh, happy he is saying anything as he hasn't really started talking yet.

Maybe that's part of why we try not to be too tense about the glasses -- it is one of several problems he has.

Do you find, as we do, that once the glasses are on, they are no longer an issue? Once our nephew puts his on, he will wear them for 15 minutes to 2 hours at a stretch without fussing with them at all.

Nance



--- In [email protected], "~*~Tracy Austin" <webinfusion@...> wrote:
>
> My 4 y/o son has a vision problem and needs corrective lenses to keep his eyes straight, so he can develop stereopsis (3-d vision) that he lacks right now. Same as his sister but her lenses also correct her vision. So she would always wear hers at this age, while he resists wearing his.
>
> I am at a loss as to what to do to remain relaxed and calm myself when he refuses to wear them. He doesn't see the benefit because his near and far vision is fine. Right now what I do is say "no TV" if he refuses to wear them. But he's often ok with that, so it doesn't "work."
>
> I can't stand myself for not coming up with something that isn't a punishment for not wearing them and not being able to just be OK with him not wearing them. He's just 4 and has no idea how not wearing them now will impact his day to day life in the future. I realize he can have a good life without 3-d vision, but with crossed eyes, that will impact him everyday, for his whole life, so that's weighing on my mind. Help?
>
> many thanks,
> Tracy
>
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>

~*~Tracy Austin

Hi Nance,

Yes, some times when they are on he just forgets about them. Not so much these days though. As you say there is really no choice when he says no, because he will start bending them, or throw them to the floor...

Tracy


If it's any comfort, we are going through a similar thing with our 3-1/2 yo nephew. We encourage him to wear the glasses when reading, etc., but, short of duct-taping the glasses to his head, we really have no choice when he says: "No way!"

We are, otoh, happy he is saying anything as he hasn't really started talking yet.

Maybe that's part of why we try not to be too tense about the glasses -- it is one of several problems he has.

Do you find, as we do, that once the glasses are on, they are no longer an issue? Once our nephew puts his on, he will wear them for 15 minutes to 2 hours at a stretch without fussing with them at all.

Nance

--- In [email protected], "~*~Tracy Austin" <webinfusion@...> wrote:
>
> My 4 y/o son has a vision problem and needs corrective lenses to keep his eyes straight, so he can develop stereopsis (3-d vision) that he lacks right now. Same as his sister but her lenses also correct her vision. So she would always wear hers at this age, while he resists wearing his.
>
> I am at a loss as to what to do to remain relaxed and calm myself when he refuses to wear them. He doesn't see the benefit because his near and far vision is fine. Right now what I do is say "no TV" if he refuses to wear them. But he's often ok with that, so it doesn't "work."
>
> I can't stand myself for not coming up with something that isn't a punishment for not wearing them and not being able to just be OK with him not wearing them. He's just 4 and has no idea how not wearing them now will impact his day to day life in the future. I realize he can have a good life without 3-d vision, but with crossed eyes, that will impact him everyday, for his whole life, so that's weighing on my mind. Help?
>
> many thanks,
> Tracy


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

~*~Tracy Austin

Hi Colleen,

Just knowing my ds, unfortunately I don't think he would go for me sticking something in his eyes everyday....

Tracy


>Are contacts an option? My niece was born with cataracts and wore contacts from the time she was three months old until she got glasses at age 4 >(she wears her glasses because she literally can't see without them).

>Colleen



[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

plaidpanties666

Can you figure out what it is he dislikes about them? Is it just the hassle of wearing them? Is there something Else he'd wear on his face that you could have corrective lenses installed in? Or some kind of glasses that are fun enough - or enough like something a favorite character would wear - that he'd be into doing it for the fun?

>>He's just 4 and has no idea how not wearing them now will impact his day to day life in the future. I realize he can have a good life without 3-d vision, but with crossed eyes, that will impact him everyday, for his whole life, so that's weighing on my mind. Help?
***********************

I can't help but think that part of the reason they're starting this now is that most younger kids, punished or not, go through much the same thing - kids are kids! It might help to do some extra research on your own and find out how much he really "needs" to wear them - and then step back and see if he'll average out to the same amount of time in typical unschooling fashion (a whole day here and there instead of "four hours a day five days a week").

Its also worth researching any kinds of physical therapy - just glancing through links there seems to be some that can help and not just young children, so the matter may not be as time-sensitive as doctors are leading you to think. It may be something you can incorporate into your regular play, even!

---Meredith (Mo 8, Ray 16)

nani

I was born cross eyed myself and I was the subject of vision/glasses/
eyepatch torture for a few years. It feels very constricting to be
forced to wear glasses, and since I was sent to preschool, I was also
the subject of harassment and ridicule by other kids, so I refused to
wear glasses and eye patches. Long story short, I am totally fine
with 2 D vision, it only impacted me when trying to play tennis,
racquetball, badminton, that sorta thing. I've had a corrective eye
surgery when I was 20 yo, as I was beginning to see double pictures
during a very stressful time.
I have cheated on drives license vision tests, so I wasn't required to
wear glasses, but other than that I don't believe that refusing
glasses and eye patches has impacted me much.
It's truly his choice, and maybe with a sense of playfulness he will
understand it differently and maybe also see your perspective. But
forcing and bribing him will probably backfire and will create
resentment.
Natalie






[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Tessa

Maybe you could start wearing fake glasses yourself to get him to wear them... LOL.... Lots of little kids like to mimic their parents... :)

Tessa

~*~Tracy Austin

Hi Natalie,

Thanks for your story. The reason for glasses now is that his vision can most likely be corrected with just lenses, and possibly vision therapy in a year or two. And that it will stay corrected once it is. Whereas if he waits until he's an adult, he can attain 3-d (you probably could, too if you wanted to. Read "Fixing My Gaze by Sue Barry. She is a patient of my son's eye dr.) but it will most likely not be permanent.

He isn't wearing them right now, but has worn them some today. The main reason he gives is that they don't help him see better. But that's not the point, they are meant to keep his right eye straight. Otherwise his vision is fine.

So what I'm doing is just offering them and surprisingly he took them and put them on himself this morning. But just refused to put them back on. He was wearing them all day for awhile, and I would prefer that, but will simply allow him his preferences and keep offering...

Thanks to all:-)
Tracy


I was born cross eyed myself and I was the subject of vision/glasses/
eyepatch torture for a few years. It feels very constricting to be
forced to wear glasses, and since I was sent to preschool, I was also
the subject of harassment and ridicule by other kids, so I refused to
wear glasses and eye patches. Long story short, I am totally fine
with 2 D vision, it only impacted me when trying to play tennis,
racquetball, badminton, that sorta thing. I've had a corrective eye
surgery when I was 20 yo, as I was beginning to see double pictures
during a very stressful time.
I have cheated on drives license vision tests, so I wasn't required to
wear glasses, but other than that I don't believe that refusing
glasses and eye patches has impacted me much.
It's truly his choice, and maybe with a sense of playfulness he will
understand it differently and maybe also see your perspective. But
forcing and bribing him will probably backfire and will create
resentment.
Natalie


.



[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

missalexmissalex

Ha ha I thought of that too...have him choose something silly you have to wear when he wears his glasses...could get OLD though! :)

Alex
mama to Katya

--- In [email protected], "Tessa" <kitty_angel@...> wrote:
>
> Maybe you could start wearing fake glasses yourself to get him to wear them... LOL.... Lots of little kids like to mimic their parents... :)
>
> Tessa
>