huntmom1996

Thank you thank you thank you!!!

Okay, I heard what every one said and I am relaxing about the movie
thing. We had rented Shrek 2, so we had to stop watching it, but we
moved on (back?) to Shrek (which we own) and then did a little Pixar
sceening. My daughter is currently "anti-corporate" (her words) and
wants to support the fact that Pixar left Disney. I don't even know
where she found that out. Anyway, we did a Pixar film festival. Now
she wants to see as many Doris Day movies as we can (gag!). Thanks
for the suggestions, tips and general support.

I guess sometimes I feel so lucky and free-wheeling that I can't
believe this is all fine. Why doesn't everyone do this????

Peace~Jessica
p.s. dd has been eating when hungry without prompting lately-
yipeeee! maybe we're moving beyaond school eating schedule toxicity.

Angela S

Jessica wrote:
I guess sometimes I feel so lucky and free-wheeling that I can't
believe this is all fine. Why doesn't everyone do this????
-------------------------------------

That's a great questions and one I've asked myself a million times. If they
only knew. If they only knew!



We spend every day doing just what we please and the kids learn plenty just
following their interests. We've ridden our new horse 6 days a week since
we got her 3 weeks ago.



Angela ~ Maine

game-enthusiast@...



[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Reba Cobb

Hi everyone,

I've been reading your posts with great interest this past week. I am new to the group and new to unschooling. My name is Rebecca and I have three children ages 8, 6 , and 3. We live in Logan, Ut and have been homeschooling for 3 years. This is our fourth year. Through the years we have experimented with many varying approaches: rigid "school at home" and Charlotte Mason and Montessori and Classical. So we ended up with an eclectic homeschool method. Although, we never were relaxed. We've bought curriculum and sadly, I've made my girls do it thinking I was doing what was best for them in a twisted sort of way. My husband has supported homeschool from day one. When I started over a year ago to read Jon Holt and other unschooling materials I could get my hands on at the library and on line, husband didn't agree with complete child directed education. So I held back and continued with the eclectic approach with sometimes crying, sometimes angry, sometimes frustrated, and
sometimes happy, content children.

Let me tell you all, this year I said, "That's it! I am joining my girls with the revolution." My 6 year old, Jerusha, would cry every morning. Seriously! She did not want to do Saxon math. She did not want to learn how to read. She wanted to do handwriting when she felt like it AND she told me, "Mama, I want more free time." That's what she needed. I've always had a difficult time instructing my 8 year old. It was a roller coaster with with good days and bad days - the judgement basis of how well i was able to manipulate her in the quest of spoon feeding what i thought she should learn. Now this is really sounding twisted. Like I told you, we are having a revolution here!!! Hannah, 8 years old, is lovingly dubbed "our idea girl". I think one of the first phrases she uttered was, "I have an idea...." With our rigid homeschooling approach, we were all plumb tuckered out by lunch, and we still had afternoon studies! So she didn't have the time she needed or wanted
explore her ideas or creativity. She would complain, "I have so many ideas in my head that I can't concentrate." And sitting down at the kitchen table doing saxon math was not a conducive learning or even breathing enviroment for her.

And, my 3 year old son, Eli, was being left in the dust. He wasn't getting the attention he needed. Like most 3 year olds, he needs lots and lots of love and attention and personal Mommy time.

So I am happy to say, THRILLED to say...WE DID IT! We are unschooling (or deschooling - all of us! me just as much as the kid-os). We set ourselves free. My girls reclaimed their library cards. My son claimed my library card. Jerusha checked out all the Zoo Life movies and Amelia Bedilia she could get her hands on. Before I would censor their library check outs. Eli checked out ONLY dinosaur books. And Hannah, she checked out whatever she wanted!

I'm going to need all the support I can get! And put up reminders when i have doubts. Reminders of what we were living before. This is a complete lifestyle change. In a way I completely restructuring not only what i thought of as homeschooling, but also parenting, and my life on an individual level.

But, you know how I feel...like dancing in the wind with the fall leaves, set free, spinning...

Reba




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[email protected]

In a message dated 11/17/2004 11:23:42 AM Eastern Standard Time,
yinfreedom@... writes:

But, you know how I feel...like dancing in the wind with the fall leaves,
set free, spinning...<<<

<G>

~Kelly







[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

patricia tidmore

I know just how you feel Reba!
Be free and always look back......so you will never go back!!!!!!!
hugs~Pat

Reba Cobb <yinfreedom@...> wrote:


Hi everyone,

I've been reading your posts with great interest this past week. I am new to the group and new to unschooling. My name is Rebecca and I have three children ages 8, 6 , and 3. We live in Logan, Ut and have been homeschooling for 3 years. This is our fourth year. Through the years we have experimented with many varying approaches: rigid "school at home" and Charlotte Mason and Montessori and Classical. So we ended up with an eclectic homeschool method. Although, we never were relaxed. We've bought curriculum and sadly, I've made my girls do it thinking I was doing what was best for them in a twisted sort of way. My husband has supported homeschool from day one. When I started over a year ago to read Jon Holt and other unschooling materials I could get my hands on at the library and on line, husband didn't agree with complete child directed education. So I held back and continued with the eclectic approach with sometimes crying, sometimes angry, sometimes frustrated, and
sometimes happy, content children.

Let me tell you all, this year I said, "That's it! I am joining my girls with the revolution." My 6 year old, Jerusha, would cry every morning. Seriously! She did not want to do Saxon math. She did not want to learn how to read. She wanted to do handwriting when she felt like it AND she told me, "Mama, I want more free time." That's what she needed. I've always had a difficult time instructing my 8 year old. It was a roller coaster with with good days and bad days - the judgement basis of how well i was able to manipulate her in the quest of spoon feeding what i thought she should learn. Now this is really sounding twisted. Like I told you, we are having a revolution here!!! Hannah, 8 years old, is lovingly dubbed "our idea girl". I think one of the first phrases she uttered was, "I have an idea...." With our rigid homeschooling approach, we were all plumb tuckered out by lunch, and we still had afternoon studies! So she didn't have the time she needed or wanted
explore her ideas or creativity. She would complain, "I have so many ideas in my head that I can't concentrate." And sitting down at the kitchen table doing saxon math was not a conducive learning or even breathing enviroment for her.

And, my 3 year old son, Eli, was being left in the dust. He wasn't getting the attention he needed. Like most 3 year olds, he needs lots and lots of love and attention and personal Mommy time.

So I am happy to say, THRILLED to say...WE DID IT! We are unschooling (or deschooling - all of us! me just as much as the kid-os). We set ourselves free. My girls reclaimed their library cards. My son claimed my library card. Jerusha checked out all the Zoo Life movies and Amelia Bedilia she could get her hands on. Before I would censor their library check outs. Eli checked out ONLY dinosaur books. And Hannah, she checked out whatever she wanted!

I'm going to need all the support I can get! And put up reminders when i have doubts. Reminders of what we were living before. This is a complete lifestyle change. In a way I completely restructuring not only what i thought of as homeschooling, but also parenting, and my life on an individual level.

But, you know how I feel...like dancing in the wind with the fall leaves, set free, spinning...

Reba




---------------------------------
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Meet the all-new My Yahoo! � Try it today!

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Robyn Coburn

<<<<So I am happy to say, THRILLED to say...WE DID IT! We are unschooling
(or deschooling - all of us! me just as much as the kid-os). We set
ourselves free. My girls reclaimed their library cards. My son claimed my
library card. Jerusha checked out all the Zoo Life movies and Amelia
Bedilia she could get her hands on. Before I would censor their library
check outs. Eli checked out ONLY dinosaur books. And Hannah, she checked
out whatever she wanted!

I'm going to need all the support I can get! And put up reminders when i
have doubts. Reminders of what we were living before. This is a complete
lifestyle change. In a way I completely restructuring not only what i
thought of as homeschooling, but also parenting, and my life on an
individual level.

But, you know how I feel...like dancing in the wind with the fall leaves,
set free, spinning...>>>>>

Good on you, Reba. Welcome and keep going. I want you to put your post in a
file somewhere, so that if you start having doubts and want to slide back,
forgetting the misery that your kids were feeling, you can read it and
refresh your memory. Also you can look at it a year's time and feel wonder
at how far you have come.

Remember one of the keys to Unschooling is to stop looking for the
"academics" in their activities, and just see the joy and individual
passions.

Robyn L. Coburn

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[email protected]

** Before I would censor their library check outs.**

I'm curious as to what you mean by this. :) Were you censoring for content,
"reading level", or both? And what was your reason for doing so?

Deborah the insatiable


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Reba Cobb

***I'm curious as to what you mean by this. :) Were you censoring for content,
"reading level", or both? And what was your reason for doing so?


Hi Deborah,

I would limit their movies. Reading level - no. I did do some censoring for content. Ultimately, I would check out most of the books based on what I thought was important. Instead of giving them the freedom to forage. The censoring, goes far deeper than just homeschooling methodologies. It stemmed from my religious dogmatic beliefs, which I don't believe anymore.

Reba




__________________________________________________
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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Reba Cobb

Good on you, Reba. Welcome and keep going. I want you to put your post in a
file somewhere, so that if you start having doubts and want to slide back,
forgetting the misery that your kids were feeling, you can read it and
refresh your memory. Also you can look at it a year's time and feel wonder
at how far you have come.

Remember one of the keys to Unschooling is to stop looking for the
"academics" in their activities, and just see the joy and individual
passions.

Robyn L. Coburn



You know Robyn, I've always been amazed with my children's wonder with life. That joy and individual passions you mentioned. Now they have time to explore, to wonder, and to just be. There has always been a part of me, even in my dogmatic days, that admired the embracing of life, the celebrate the moment kind of people. I've seen that love of life in my children. The catching of snowflakes on their tongue. Ultimately, I didn't want to squash that out of them. I want them to be able to explore their creativity. And in the process I can find my creativity and my passion and joy. We are on this journey together. My children are opening my eyes to just how important it is to name moths and set them free.

thanks for the support and good advice,

reba



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pam sorooshian

On Nov 16, 2004, at 5:05 PM, huntmom1996 wrote:

> I guess sometimes I feel so lucky and free-wheeling that I can't
> believe this is all fine. Why doesn't everyone do this????

They have to try it to believe it. And they don't believe it, so they
don't try it.

-pam

Angela S

Hi Rebecca, and welcome to the wonderful world of unschooling.

One things that helps new unschoolers sometimes is to keep a log of all the
great things your kids do on a daily basis. (don't let them know what you
are writing, just do it privately for yourself or they might give more value
to the things you write down.) It gives you something to look back on when
you get the worries.

I hope you keep on dancing.

Angela ~ Maine
game-enthusiast@...

Jennifer Lindsey

Hello!

I wanted to take a minute to introduce my family. I'm Jennifer and I am in the third year of homeschooling my 5 little ones. They are 2,4,6,8, and 10 and we appear to be unschoolers at heart although I am having a difficult time letting go of my educational ideas ( I was a teacher!) for any length of time. Instead of fighting what seems to be so natural for us I have decided to try and embrace it. However, I am so unsure of how or what to do. I would LOVE some reading (or real life) suggestions on how to...I don't know...proceed from here! I have decided we need to be relaxed and let the kids take the lead. I have read the Unschooling Handbook, Learning all the Time, and several hours of online stuff. But I would always like to know more, especially coming from those who have gone before! I was wondering...would "unschooling" be the same as "interest led learning"?

Looking forward to helping and supporting,
Jennifer

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Michelle Leifur Reid

On 11/9/06, Jennifer Lindsey <veryeasytoremember@...> wrote:
> Hello!
>
> But I would always like to know more, especially coming from those who have gone before! I was wondering...would "unschooling" be the same as "interest led learning"?
>

My first question is if you are still also reading traditional
homeschool books, magazines and websites. If so you may want to forgo
those until you can look at them with unschooling eyes. Reading the
schoolish material keeps the seeds of school implanted in our brains.
Those seeds continually sprout choking us and inhibiting us from
blooming in unschooling. :-) Consider releasing traditional
homeschooling materaial and immersing yourself in only unschooling
until you have a solid understanding of what you are doing.

Unschooling IS interest led learning, but not in the sense that most
homeschoolers view it. Most homeschoolers view "interest led
learning" as "curriculum built around my child's interests" rather
than how unschoolers view it "my child is learning at every moment,
including while pursuing his/her interests." If you take a child's
interest and turn it into curriculum, chances are that interest is
going to lose appeal even if it is/was something your child truly
loves/d.

For instance, I *could* take my daughter's love of ballroom dance and
turn it into a "teaching opportunity" by teaching her the history of
the dance, the culture of the various dances, the reason for the
different shoes, the music, the language, etc etc etc. OR I can allow
her to love ballroom dance, rent her movies (at her request), take her
to her classes (which she chose), and eventually she is going to
discover this stuff by herself through exposure, experience and
interest. And she will probably understand it WAY better than if I
turned it into a lesson plan.

Michelle

abcrewchief

Okay, this is helping me, too. I am also new to unschooling, as I have a very bright 16
year old daughter who has struggled with depression and attendance issues at our local
high school. Although they tried everything to help her there, including shortening her
schedule and giving her a resource teacher, it didn't work, and they were recommending
we place her in a therapeutic school. She would struggle to get to school in the morning
(and often not make it), then come home and sleep all afternoon until dinner, and then
she would be okay for a couple hours, until the anxiety about facing school the next day
surfaced. And she couldn't bring herself to do the work (before high school, she was a
straight A student).

But this same daughter goes to the library, comes home with an armful of books she
selected, and is happy reading for days and days, until she is ready for another trip to
the library. She also writes constantly, goes on photographic "adventures," sketches and
paints. She is a vegan, and only buys fair trade food and clothes, or thrift clothes. And
she has many kind close, drug-free friends.

After over 2 years of this incredibly draining struggle with school, it finally dawned on me
that just because she didn't fit into the box of what our society deems an acceptable way
to learn, she was being told there was something wrong with her, and she needed a
therapeutic educational environment. I decided to stop forcing her to focus on what she
couldn't do, and let her focus on what she could do, and loved to do. We are only just
beginning (this week!!!) and it is hard to know how much, if any, structure to impose. Any
input from unschoolers with teens would be very welcome!!!

Thanks...Alene

Linda Green

What would you do if this was summer vacation from school? Maybe
that's what you should be doing? What if you toss your worries out and
let her just be and just detox for a while? It might be helpful
yourself to read Llewellyn's " "Teenage Liberation Handbook?" or
google her "Not Back to School Camp", or look into the Sudbury School's
philosophy for ideas at sudval.org or read John Taylor Gatto's books?
Maybe after a few months of rest and renewal for you both, you could
together begin to think about what questions you and she together
should be asking? If you take the attitude that you won't impose
anything unless and until you have it well thought out and know very
well what you are doing and why, I suspect it is likely that you will
find no imposition will ever be needed. Linda


On Nov 10, 2006, at 12:21 PM, abcrewchief wrote:

> Okay, this is helping me, too. I am also new to unschooling, as I have
> a very bright 16
> year old daughter who has struggled with depression and attendance
> issues at our local
> high school. Although they tried everything to help her there,
> including shortening her
> schedule and giving her a resource teacher, it didn't work, and they
> were recommending
> we place her in a therapeutic school. She would struggle to get to
> school in the morning
> (and often not make it), then come home and sleep all afternoon until
> dinner, and then
> she would be okay for a couple hours, until the anxiety about facing
> school the next day
> surfaced. And she couldn't bring herself to do the work (before high
> school, she was a
> straight A student).
>
> But this same daughter goes to the library, comes home with an armful
> of books she
> selected, and is happy reading for days and days, until she is ready
> for another trip to
> the library. She also writes constantly, goes on photographic
> "adventures," sketches and
> paints. She is a vegan, and only buys fair trade food and clothes, or
> thrift clothes. And
> she has many kind close, drug-free friends.
>
> After over 2 years of this incredibly draining struggle with school,
> it finally dawned on me
> that just because she didn't fit into the box of what our society
> deems an acceptable way
> to learn, she was being told there was something wrong with her, and
> she needed a
> therapeutic educational environment. I decided to stop forcing her to
> focus on what she
> couldn't do, and let her focus on what she could do, and loved to do.
> We are only just
> beginning (this week!!!) and it is hard to know how much, if any,
> structure to impose. Any
> input from unschoolers with teens would be very welcome!!!
>
> Thanks...Alene
>
>
>

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

[email protected]

Alene,

My daughter is also new to unschooling. She opted out of the ninth grade after hating school all her life. (long story) I am not imposing any structure on her at all. She sleeps past noon, watches all the TV she can stand, and spends time on the computer emailing and IMing. She also reads books and takes a guitar lesson once a week and has a community college class in digital photography. She is much happier, although she laments the loss of community she had in school. It was easier to find and make friends for her at school and she is very sociable. It seems harder to meet unschooled teenagers. Despite that, she still has no desire to go back to school. Her problem with school was the imposed structure and the meaninglessness of the work. Since she has been out of school, she has become more of her old self, singing silly songs and leaping around, stuff she hasnt done since she was 10 or 11. She also carries on lengthy conversations with me about interesting topics when it seemed
like all we used to do was fight over things. I realize now how stressful school made our lives and the impact it had on our relationship.
Kathryn (in CA)

-------------- Original message --------------
From: "abcrewchief" <link8131@...>
Okay, this is helping me, too. I am also new to unschooling, as I have a very bright 16
year old daughter who has struggled with depression and attendance issues at our local
high school. Although they tried everything to help her there, including shortening her
schedule and giving her a resource teacher, it didn't work, and they were recommending
we place her in a therapeutic school. She would struggle to get to school in the morning
(and often not make it), then come home and sleep all afternoon until dinner, and then
she would be okay for a couple hours, until the anxiety about facing school the next day
surfaced. And she couldn't bring herself to do the work (before high school, she was a
straight A student).

But this same daughter goes to the library, comes home with an armful of books she
selected, and is happy reading for days and days, until she is ready for another trip to
the library. She also writes constantly, goes on photographic "adventures," sketches and
paints. She is a vegan, and only buys fair trade food and clothes, or thrift clothes. And
she has many kind close, drug-free friends.

After over 2 years of this incredibly draining struggle with school, it finally dawned on me
that just because she didn't fit into the box of what our society deems an acceptable way
to learn, she was being told there was something wrong with her, and she needed a
therapeutic educational environment. I decided to stop forcing her to focus on what she
couldn't do, and let her focus on what she could do, and loved to do. We are only just
beginning (this week!!!) and it is hard to know how much, if any, structure to impose. Any
input from unschoolers with teens would be very welcome!!!

Thanks...Alene




[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

abcrewchief

Thanks for the reassurance...and the resources! Funny thing, "Teenage Liberation
Handbook" will be arriving in the mail from Amazon today. And I will look into the others
that you mention. I am excited about this, but, more importantly, my daughter is excited
about learning for the first time in so very long. I feel as though there was a huge stress
balloon consuming all of the air in our home, and we just popped it! Thanks again...
Alene

--- In [email protected], Linda Green <lindamgreen@...> wrote:
>
> What would you do if this was summer vacation from school? Maybe
> that's what you should be doing? What if you toss your worries out and
> let her just be and just detox for a while? It might be helpful
> yourself to read Llewellyn's " "Teenage Liberation Handbook?" or
> google her "Not Back to School Camp", or look into the Sudbury School's
> philosophy for ideas at sudval.org or read John Taylor Gatto's books?
> Maybe after a few months of rest and renewal for you both, you could
> together begin to think about what questions you and she together
> should be asking? If you take the attitude that you won't impose
> anything unless and until you have it well thought out and know very
> well what you are doing and why, I suspect it is likely that you will
> find no imposition will ever be needed. Linda
>
>

Pamela Sorooshian

On Nov 10, 2006, at 10:21 AM, abcrewchief wrote:

> We are only just
> beginning (this week!!!) and it is hard to know how much, if any,
> structure to impose. Any
> input from unschoolers with teens would be very welcome!!!

She sounds absolutely delightful. Your story is heartbreaking - that
such an amazing, wonderful girl, so filled with great spirit and
sensitivity, should have been made to feel bad about herself. Get her
a copy of "The Teenage Liberation Handbook" immediately - at least
she'll get the message, loud and clear, that it isn't "her," but the
system itself that is the problem.

Don't impose ANY structure on her. Support her. Be calm and happy
with her. Smile a lot! Hug a lot. This might just be the very best
week/month/year you and she have ever experienced!!

-pam

Unschooling shirts, cups, bumper stickers, bags...
Live Love Learn
UNSCHOOL!
<http://www.cafepress.com/livelovelearn>





[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

[email protected]

-----Original Message-----
From: link8131@...

We are only just beginning (this week!!!) and it is hard to know how
much, if any, structure to
impose. Any input from unschoolers with teens would be very welcome!!!

-=-=-=-

None. Let her heal. She needs time and patience and your trust and
respect.

Where do you live? Finding some other unschooled teens would be good.
Also hooking her up with adults with her same interests---like working
parttime at the healthfood store or somewhere she'd feel at home.

Have you looked into Not Back to School Camp (www.NBTSC.com I think)?
She'd fit right in.

Live as if school didn't exist---go, do, be.

Enjoy each other. Play games. Watch movies. Play with your food.

Have fun!

~Kelly
________________________________________________________________________
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security tools, free access to millions of high-quality videos from
across the web, free AOL Mail and more.

ingwafer

Hi all! Brand new to unschooling. Pulled 7 year old out of school a
fter the XMAS break. Love the site and would love to meet other LA
area unschooling families. Live in the West Adams area just north of
downtown not far from USC.
Also would love any input on how long it took your children to lose
the fascination for watching tv/video/computer when they first
deschooled. I know in my heart that he is fine. But just would love to
get some since when he is going to step away from the screen and come
to me and ask what I am up to- or that he'd like to play a game or
read with me. Right now he is just prefering alone time- reading, tv,
computer, video or off course playdates with friends enroll him.

Welcome all thoughts.
Thanks,
Ingrid

Schuyler

Sometimes the joy of the television and video games and computer exploration never goes away. I love cruising the internet for information and ideas and stories. What has helped instead of looking for the point when Simon or Linnaea come to me is for me to go to them. I play Halo 3 with them and Fable 2 and watch Let's Play episodes on Youtube with them. I find stuff that I think they'll like and share it with them, stuff both on television or the internet or games for whatever as well as things outside of those technologies. Enjoy the television with him. You come to him and ask if you could watch him play or watch the show with him or sit with him. Be the active seeker.

Schuyler




________________________________
From: ingwafer <ingwafer@...>
To: [email protected]
Sent: Tuesday, 3 February, 2009 9:07:11 PM
Subject: [unschoolingbasics] New to unschooling

Hi all! Brand new to unschooling. Pulled 7 year old out of school a
fter the XMAS break. Love the site and would love to meet other LA
area unschooling families. Live in the West Adams area just north of
downtown not far from USC.
Also would love any input on how long it took your children to lose
the fascination for watching tv/video/computer when they first
deschooled. I know in my heart that he is fine. But just would love to
get some since when he is going to step away from the screen and come
to me and ask what I am up to- or that he'd like to play a game or
read with me. Right now he is just prefering alone time- reading, tv,
computer, video or off course playdates with friends enroll him.

Welcome all thoughts.
Thanks,
Ingrid


------------------------------------

Yahoo! Groups Links



[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

aenclade

Hi Ingrid

We have an unschooling park day in Santa Monica on Friday afternoons.
The age range seems to be birth -13 years old. We are new
too...finding our way slowly but surely...lots of ups and downs. Come
check it out!!
email me if you want info.I am very interested in getting a park day
going in the middle of town somewhere where families from all over the
LA area could meet. Hopefully we can meet soon!

Amanda
Amanda@...

--- In [email protected], "ingwafer" <ingwafer@...> wrote:
>
> Hi all! Brand new to unschooling. Pulled 7 year old out of school a
> fter the XMAS break. Love the site and would love to meet other LA
> area unschooling families. Live in the West Adams area just north of
> downtown not far from USC.
> Also would love any input on how long it took your children to lose
> the fascination for watching tv/video/computer when they first
> deschooled. I know in my heart that he is fine. But just would love to
> get some since when he is going to step away from the screen and come
> to me and ask what I am up to- or that he'd like to play a game or
> read with me. Right now he is just prefering alone time- reading, tv,
> computer, video or off course playdates with friends enroll him.
>
> Welcome all thoughts.
> Thanks,
> Ingrid
>

witchywoman345

Hey there,My name is Sally. I have 3 children,14,10,and 6. My oldest just does not seem to have his "own" motivation. My 10 year old is ADHD and I think maybe dislexic. My little one just DOES NOT want to read or write. I'm willing to let them take things at their own pace, but I get worried bc I don't see them interested in anything. They are under an umbrella but I don't have anything to report. I guess I'm worried about their seeming lack of ambition along with the consequences of them not "doing" anything, academically.

Schuyler

It's easy to see other people's choices as idleness. My son, Simon, he plays a lot of video games, he hangs out and chats with friends on-line, he watches lots of youtube videos and lots of movies. It doesn't look like anything educational could be going on, or that he has any motivation. But if you looked longer, if you hung out with him, if you listened as he talked about so many things, he is very well-educated, his life is producing a very enaged and engaging young man.

At 6 there is very little need to read or write. Linnaea, my daughter, was reading by 6, but my son didn't read until he was 12. There was no lack of learning in his life because of him not reading. He learned all the time. Linnaea's learning wasn't any greater than Simon's because of her reading. Reading is this wonderful thing for teachers to have their students do. It means that they can better manage a classroom of 20 to 30 students, they can give them a reading assignment. In real life, in a life with closer to one-on-one communication, reading is only one of many, many ways to get information. And reading is slower and less tailored to an individual than conversation is, then going to the grocery store can be, then playing a game like Runescape or World of Warcraft or Halo can be.

Look for the learning where they are and in what they are doing. Sit and watch what they do. There are some good deconstructions of activities into educationese at http://sandradodd.com/unschoolingcurriculum.html, in the pink/purple box on the side there are links to others. There is a lovely view of a day from two approaches at http://sandradodd.com/unschool/ginnyday.html. Maybe those will help you see more of what is going on.

School is a deconstruction of a life. Without school you get to keep it all whole and learn all the time without having to pigeonhole experiences into subjects or learning outcomes. Reading isn't separated from math or social studies or science or recess or whatever else, it all is, all together.

Schuyler




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Hey there,My name is Sally. I have 3 children,14,10,and 6. My oldest just does not seem to have his "own" motivation. My 10 year old is ADHD and I think maybe dislexic. My little one just DOES NOT want to read or write. I'm willing to let them take things at their own pace, but I get worried bc I don't see them interested in anything. They are under an umbrella but I don't have anything to report. I guess I'm worried about their seeming lack of ambition along with the consequences of them not "doing" anything, academically.



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plaidpanties666

Something else to consider, if you're new to unschooling is that school and even school at home can really interfer with a kid's natural ability to self-motivate. It comes back! but it does take some time. Its a good idea for parents to use that time to learn more about natural learning, because, as Schuyler said, it doesn't look like schoolish learning. Its good to be able to *see* that motivation happen when it does, to realize that a kid who is staying up half the night to beat a game as a highly motivated person, rather than more "doing nothing".

ADHD can mean a lot of things - is there something in particular you're worried about? Is it that he bops from game to toy to show and doesn't seem to settle? That's the sort of thing that could be a good trait, if its something he's doing happily. Not every person needs to sit and focus to get things done. If its the sort of thing that bothers him, if he wants to focus but can't (and I mean He wants to focus, not that he's been told he Should want to focus, if you see what I mean) that's a different matter.

Six is young. Its not uncommon for kids not to be reading until 8, or even older. Reading is a complex thing, and "clicks" for kids at different stages of development - some not until early adolescence! And really, its not vital for a young child to read. My 8yo read early, but mostly doesn't read. Its not something she enjoys. That could change as she gets older, but it doesn't have to. Not everyone has to read for pleasure in the same way that not everyone has to love to cook!

---Meredith (Mo 8, Ray 16)

Tanya P

I am so happy. I have been homeschooling my kids this year. They are 7 and 5 and I am expecting soon. I decided that school was causing more heartache and problems within our family than anything.

My son learned to read and type from trying to find and watch spiderman and sonic the hedgehog videos on the computer when he was only a toddler. He is very fast and has his own incentives to read. Especially now that he has some playstation games that have storylines and missions that he has to read to be able to play farther.

I just bought my daughter a V-reader and for the first time she has started to show real recognition of letters and numbers. Before she just had no interest in reading and it seemed like nothing was sinking in.

The school would just send home gigantic packets of things for the kids to do every day. I was overwhelmed. I couldnt understand how going to school for 8 hours a day they were sending home stuff for them to do. I told the school "my kids are young. They need time to play and be with their families and eat and just be kids. They can't be just working and doing assignments all the time. There are plenty of adults who have a hard time focusing on an entire work day. We don't usually expect them to come home and spend home time doing work." I started to feel so far away from the kids.

Since they have been home with me I have doubted myself. Wondering if I am hurting their educational chances by having them learn at home. I started out with a really stringent curriculum. As time is passing i realize that they are learning best by spending the amount of time they want to spend on doing the work. Not just endlessly filling out worksheets.

I am really glad that I stumbled across this group and "unschooling" philosophy. It really feels good to have other parents with similar ideas about life and kids, who are living those ideals and sticking by their beliefs. This also seems like a great place to ask questions about parenting, teaching, and discipline without being judged for not imposing societal norms on my young, growing, happy family. Thanks for having such a group! I look forward to talking to some of the other unschooling parents out there!

plaidpanties666

"Tanya P" <tanyaholic@...> wrote:
>I started out with a really stringent curriculum. As time is passing i realize that they are learning best by spending the amount of time they want to spend on doing the work.
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There's a great list of things that help learning here:
http://sandradodd.com/pam/principles

That whole site is marvelous, actually, for learning about unschooling, as it this one:
http://joyfullyrejoycing.com/

And here you'll find links to a bunch of essays and blogs by unschoolers (kids and parents):
http://enjoylifeunschooling.com/

Unschooling doesn't need any kind of "work" at all, if by that you mean pursuing subjects. Everything kids need to know they can learn organically - which is a pretty intimidating thought if you consider how much time kids spend in school, but most of that school time is spent doing very little, as I think you've already discovered. I invite you to check out those sites, read about some unschooling days and lives and get a sense of how its possible to live with your family without ever dividing life up into "work" and "play" - no "teachable moments" or lessons of any kind! Its an amazing way to live... but it can take some time to wrap your mind around the idea that learning doesn't require teaching and that you can be your kids' partner and friend rather than teacher and leader.

Feel free to ask questions or browse through the archives - and please check out those sites, there's tooooonnnnss of information to dig into.

---Meredith (Mo 9, Ray 17)