c3_2323

Hi all,

I'm the curious sort, so I hope you don't mind lots of questions
(doubt you would, lol).

I am a "new" homeschooler, who is very intrigued by unschooling. I
have, in the past hung out on other unschooling lists where it seemed
very "unsafe", for lack of a better word to explore my questions. If
it is okay with you, I'd like to ask a few. If not, feel free to
delete ;-)

1). What are your best tips for "letting go"? I'm fully aware that I
have much deschooling to do myself; and my son, who did a year and 3/4
of school needs it too. I'm scared that he won't get all that he
needs, even though I have a voice of reason telling me that he's not
going to be 20 and not be able to add two digit numbers.

2). My dh is not overly-supportive of homeschooling all together.
Unschooling will be a hard "sell". I've been planting the seed, as
Joshua has been miserable with math in particular.

3). The biggest obstacle of all is the school district--in my short (5
month) homeschooling career, they've harassed me in many ways, mostly
annoying, but worrisome to some extent when I get letters threatening
Superintendent involvement even though I've turned in the paperwork in
question.

I can't see how I can meet their "requirements" and still unschool.
I'm a strange bird, in some ways. I can do "radical" (not meaning
specifically radical unschooling) things even though I'm not 100%
certain.

My mantra might be "do it afraid". I'm intrigued about unschooling
even though I haven't read tons on it, and I've come to believe that
this approach will benefit my son and in the end, that's what it's all
about. My stuff, I can get over. Might be a challenge, but I can
handle it.

Christie

Stephanie Tavera

Hi Christie! I think I'm the same boat. I'm Stephanie and I have three kids
ages 9,6, and 17 months old. Dh isn't very supportive of unschooling. He
thinks they should know the basics before unschooling. The kids haven't done
much schooling. Well my oldest was in school from k- half of second grade.
Since then he's had a whole month of schooling out of two years. He still
likes to play with video games and doesn't do anything that looks like
school. My 6 year old was in preschool for 4 months before I took her out.
She's had one month of real schooling. She likes to do headsprout sometimes
and draws a lot. Anyway, I feel like they've been deschooled but I'm
probably wrong. Maybe they need more time, I don't know. I signed us up to
go to the UWWG and can't wait! I'm hoping that it will help us all.
Stephanie

On Fri, Oct 24, 2008 at 4:47 PM, c3_2323 <craigiecarter@...> wrote:

> Hi all,
>
> I'm the curious sort, so I hope you don't mind lots of questions
> (doubt you would, lol).
>
> I am a "new" homeschooler, who is very intrigued by unschooling. I
> have, in the past hung out on other unschooling lists where it seemed
> very "unsafe", for lack of a better word to explore my questions. If
> it is okay with you, I'd like to ask a few. If not, feel free to
> delete ;-)
>
> 1). What are your best tips for "letting go"? I'm fully aware that I
> have much deschooling to do myself; and my son, who did a year and 3/4
> of school needs it too. I'm scared that he won't get all that he
> needs, even though I have a voice of reason telling me that he's not
> going to be 20 and not be able to add two digit numbers.
>
> 2). My dh is not overly-supportive of homeschooling all together.
> Unschooling will be a hard "sell". I've been planting the seed, as
> Joshua has been miserable with math in particular.
>
> 3). The biggest obstacle of all is the school district--in my short (5
> month) homeschooling career, they've harassed me in many ways, mostly
> annoying, but worrisome to some extent when I get letters threatening
> Superintendent involvement even though I've turned in the paperwork in
> question.
>
> I can't see how I can meet their "requirements" and still unschool.
> I'm a strange bird, in some ways. I can do "radical" (not meaning
> specifically radical unschooling) things even though I'm not 100%
> certain.
>
> My mantra might be "do it afraid". I'm intrigued about unschooling
> even though I haven't read tons on it, and I've come to believe that
> this approach will benefit my son and in the end, that's what it's all
> about. My stuff, I can get over. Might be a challenge, but I can
> handle it.
>
> Christie
>
>
>


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

amberlee_b

I am just curious, but what does dear hubby do for a living? Does he work outside the
home? Does he get tested on the basics everyday? I have been wondering why we as
parents, and those before us, have gotten into the mindset that there are certain
benchmarks everyone needs to do at a certain time and we all fit the same mold. If I was
pestered daily about learning multiplication I would come to HATE it. If your DH was
pestered daily about doing the trash or the dishes he would feel the same way. Nagging,
complaining, coercing or bribing would only help momentarily and create a need to rebel
as soon as they feel strong enough to beat you at your own game.

Have you seen Kung Fu Panda? We went and saw it tonight as a birthday gift for my dd.
This movie is full of unschooling! Po the Panda doesn't learn the same way the 5 masters
did. He is much different. Not sleek, not a "fighting machine", kind of a goof ball, very
large and rotund and eats when he is upset or worried. He has a huge heart, a great sense
of humor, huge dreams and BOUNCES! Some of us float, some of us glide, some of us are
sleek, some are slender, some plump and plushy and some of us BOUNCE! :) He has to
find his own way to learn. He has to find why he is special. We are not one size fits all. We
are individuals with different hopes, strengths, dreams and destinies than others. We are
born to learn--ready and raring to go right out of the box, so to speak. Our learning isn't
one size fits all either. We were not made to go to a box to be force fed with a teeny
spoon, we were meant to choose the size and shape of what we take into our brains.
Some need a giant spoon, some drink from the bowl. Some think noodles are the best
and others want steamed dumplings.

Our similarities bring us together and our differences keep life interesting. LIFE IS THE
BASICS! They are living from the moment they move inside you, from the moment you
know they are there...from their first breath of our air they are learning. Through living
they learn how to crawl, get mom's attention, eat, giggle, walk....Their cares and worries
are not ours. They are learning to navigate now. Let them be little and learn to navigate
their world in their way. I wish we adults had been allowed to do so, what a fantastic gift
to give our kids!

Hang in there!!!! The resentments, worries, need to attempt to control will go away as the
adults/parents realize it is their problem in their heads not the children's.

Big Huggs,
Amberlee her family's Po the Panda...

--- In [email protected], "Stephanie Tavera" <lilmamibella@...>
wrote:
>
> Hi Christie! I think I'm the same boat. I'm Stephanie and I have three kids
> ages 9,6, and 17 months old. Dh isn't very supportive of unschooling. He
> thinks they should know the basics before unschooling. The kids haven't done
> much schooling. Well my oldest was in school from k- half of second grade.
> Since then he's had a whole month of schooling out of two years. He still
> likes to play with video games and doesn't do anything that looks like
> school. My 6 year old was in preschool for 4 months before I took her out.
> She's had one month of real schooling. She likes to do headsprout sometimes
> and draws a lot. Anyway, I feel like they've been deschooled but I'm
> probably wrong. Maybe they need more time, I don't know. I signed us up to
> go to the UWWG and can't wait! I'm hoping that it will help us all.
> Stephanie

H Sand

I love your questions and have many of the same concerns! I know what
you mean about the other groups... not newbie friendly at all! I hope
to find the support and guidance here:) Glad you posted!

On Fri, Oct 24, 2008 at 3:47 PM, c3_2323 <craigiecarter@...> wrote:
> Hi all,
>
> I'm the curious sort, so I hope you don't mind lots of questions
> (doubt you would, lol).
>
> I am a "new" homeschooler, who is very intrigued by unschooling. I
> have, in the past hung out on other unschooling lists where it seemed
> very "unsafe", for lack of a better word to explore my questions. If
> it is okay with you, I'd like to ask a few. If not, feel free to
> delete ;-)
>
> 1). What are your best tips for "letting go"? I'm fully aware that I
> have much deschooling to do myself; and my son, who did a year and 3/4
> of school needs it too. I'm scared that he won't get all that he
> needs, even though I have a voice of reason telling me that he's not
> going to be 20 and not be able to add two digit numbers.
>
> 2). My dh is not overly-supportive of homeschooling all together.
> Unschooling will be a hard "sell". I've been planting the seed, as
> Joshua has been miserable with math in particular.
>
> 3). The biggest obstacle of all is the school district--in my short (5
> month) homeschooling career, they've harassed me in many ways, mostly
> annoying, but worrisome to some extent when I get letters threatening
> Superintendent involvement even though I've turned in the paperwork in
> question.
>
> I can't see how I can meet their "requirements" and still unschool.
> I'm a strange bird, in some ways. I can do "radical" (not meaning
> specifically radical unschooling) things even though I'm not 100%
> certain.
>
> My mantra might be "do it afraid". I'm intrigued about unschooling
> even though I haven't read tons on it, and I've come to believe that
> this approach will benefit my son and in the end, that's what it's all
> about. My stuff, I can get over. Might be a challenge, but I can
> handle it.
>
> Christie
>
>

Joyce Fetteroll

On Oct 24, 2008, at 4:47 PM, c3_2323 wrote:

> What are your best tips for "letting go"?

Reading. A lot.

When you think about it, you've spent 20+ years hearing that school
learning is the only way to learn. If you fail at school, you'll fail
at life. Why would that message be easy to let go of with out counter
evidence? Even *with* counter evidence it's hard for some people!

Going to an unschooling conference and seeing unschooled parents and
kids, listening to speakers.

> My dh is not overly-supportive of homeschooling all together.
> Unschooling will be a hard "sell".

Unschooling conferences seem to be the best for convincing dads.

Do be sensitive to the fact that he is unsupportive because he's
scared and wants the best for his kids and you're trying out
something weird.

How would you react if he happily got involved in some religious cult
and started taking your kids to the meetings? Would his conviction
and happiness be enough for you to embrace it? Would you be open to
reading literature written by the cult?

> The biggest obstacle of all is the school district-

That's something best taken to state lists. The rules are different
in every state (and country since this is an international list).
What state are you in? Maybe someone can direct you to a good state
list.

If not, Sandra Dodd has links to state unschooling lists and
conferences here:

http://sandradodd.com/help

Also try:

http://www.nhen.org

for more general state lists.

> I can't see how I can meet their "requirements" and still unschool.

Unschooling is possible in every state. The key is to be fully
informed of the state laws. (Often superintendents will try to
enforce what they believe is right about education, depending on the
homeschooling parents to be ignorant and intimidated by authority.)
And the best place to get educated is a state homeschooling list.

Joyce




[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Kelly Lovejoy

-----Original Message-----


From: c3_2323 <craigiecarter@...>


1). What are your best tips for "letting go"? I'm fully aware that I
have much deschooling to do myself; and my son, who did a year and 3/4
of school needs it too. I'm scared that he won't get all that he
needs, even though I have a voice of reason telling me that he's not
going to be 20 and not be able to add two digit numbers.

-=-=-=-=-=-=-
Read, read, read, read, read. Here, in the archives, and at these two sites:


www.joyfullyrejoycing.com

www.sandradodd.com/unschooling




That's MONTHS of reading, even if you're a speed-reader!




Consider buying this book: Parenting a Free Child, an Unschooled Life by Rue Kream.


Understand that there's no "magic age" for anyone to know anything. We have our entire lives to learn what we need to learn----and, not only is it *easier* to learn those things when we need them, it's how we are hard-wired---AND it simply makes more sense! <g>


-=-=-=-=-=-=-

2). My dh is not overly-supportive of homeschooling all together.
Unschooling will be a hard "sell". I've been planting the seed, as
Joshua has been miserable with math in particular.


-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-


Keep in mind that your husband loves your son too and wants the best for him.




We are frightened of the unknown. So help make it "known." Attend an unschooling conference or gathering (there's almost no excuse now---there's one in some part of the country every six weeks or less!!!) so you can meet other unschooling parents---and especially TEENS.




Seeing IS believing---really!




-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-


3). The biggest obstacle of all is the school district--in my short (5
month) homeschooling career, they've harassed me in many ways, mostly
annoying, but worrisome to some extent when I get letters threatening
Superintendent involvement even though I've turned in the paperwork in
question.  I can't see how I can meet their "requirements" and still unschool.

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-


The school district is your SMALLEST concern. Homeschooling's legal in all 50 states. Which state are you in? We have someone from there (and Deb Rossing! <g>) who can clarify the law for you and give you balls.




It's possible even in New York and Pennsylvania, the two toughest states.



-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

My mantra might be "do it afraid".  

-=-=-=-=-=-

I think better is: "Find out MORE, so you're NOT afraid!"

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=

I'm intrigued about unschooling
even though I haven't read tons on it, and I've come to believe that
this approach will benefit my son and in the end, that's what it's all
about. My stuff, I can get over. Might be a challenge, but I can
handle it.


-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

Read tons. <g> And then come back with more questions.




~Kelly










[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

c3_2323

--- In [email protected], "Stephanie Tavera"
<lilmamibella@...> wrote:
>
> Hi Christie! I think I'm the same boat. I'm Stephanie and I have
three kids
> ages 9,6, and 17 months old. Dh isn't very supportive of unschooling. He
> thinks they should know the basics before unschooling. The kids
haven't done
> much schooling. Well my oldest was in school from k- half of second
grade.
> Since then he's had a whole month of schooling out of two years. He
still
> likes to play with video games and doesn't do anything that looks like
> school. My 6 year old was in preschool for 4 months before I took
her out.
> She's had one month of real schooling. She likes to do headsprout
sometimes
> and draws a lot. Anyway, I feel like they've been deschooled but I'm
> probably wrong. Maybe they need more time, I don't know. I signed us
up to
> go to the UWWG and can't wait! I'm hoping that it will help us all.
> Stephanie
>

Nice to "meet" you.

Christie

c3_2323

--- In [email protected], "amberlee_b"
<amberlee16@...> wrote:
>
> I am just curious, but what does dear hubby do for a living? Does
he work outside the
> home?


Dh is a computer programmer. He works at home, which is a blessing
for the most part, but he also knows what goes on, lol, not that I
wouldn't tell him anyway, but he's here for it all.

Does he get tested on the basics everyday? I have been wondering why
we as
> parents, and those before us, have gotten into the mindset that
there are certain
> benchmarks everyone needs to do at a certain time and we all fit the
same mold.

Well, he might say that he does as a programmer. Based on the convos
we've had about this, he thinks that there is a certain core knowledge
base that we all need, he doesn't think that Joshua will learn what he
needs to of his own initiative, and he doesn't really think I'm
qualified to "teach" him beyond elementary school. He liked school
and feels that it is valuable and necessary.


If I was
> pestered daily about learning multiplication I would come to HATE
it. If your DH was
> pestered daily about doing the trash or the dishes he would feel the
same way. Nagging,
> complaining, coercing or bribing would only help momentarily and
create a need to rebel
> as soon as they feel strong enough to beat you at your own game.

Good points. Not sure how he would respond.

> Hang in there!!!! The resentments, worries, need to attempt to
control will go away as the
> adults/parents realize it is their problem in their heads not the
children's.

I'm struggling with this but trying to be patient.

Thanks!
Christie

c3_2323

--- In [email protected], Joyce Fetteroll
<jfetteroll@...> wrote:
>
>
> On Oct 24, 2008, at 4:47 PM, c3_2323 wrote:
>
> > What are your best tips for "letting go"?
>
> Reading. A lot.

Cool. Thanks!
>
> When you think about it, you've spent 20+ years hearing that school
> learning is the only way to learn. If you fail at school, you'll fail
> at life. Why would that message be easy to let go of with out counter
> evidence? Even *with* counter evidence it's hard for some people!

This is very true. My advantage is I'm motivated by what I see in DS.
Dh isn't, but I hope that he'll get there.
>
> Going to an unschooling conference and seeing unschooled parents and
> kids, listening to speakers.

I'd like to do this, and yet it feels overwhelming too.
>
> > My dh is not overly-supportive of homeschooling all together.
> > Unschooling will be a hard "sell".
>
> Unschooling conferences seem to be the best for convincing dads.

I'll keep this in mind, though I honestly think going would be a hard
sell.
>
> Do be sensitive to the fact that he is unsupportive because he's
> scared and wants the best for his kids and you're trying out
> something weird.

Oh, I am but thank you for pointing this out. Often when I've
expressed these obstacles, if you will, people seem to dismiss his
feelings. I know I would have thought it was weird a couple of years
ago. Heck, I'm still struggling with some of the concepts ;-)
>
> How would you react if he happily got involved in some religious cult
> and started taking your kids to the meetings? Would his conviction
> and happiness be enough for you to embrace it? Would you be open to
> reading literature written by the cult?

Probably, but yeah, I'd think he'd lost his marbles. He appreciated
your reply, btw (I told him that several of you empathized with him
and that I do too).
>
> > The biggest obstacle of all is the school district-
>
> That's something best taken to state lists. The rules are different
> in every state (and country since this is an international list).
> What state are you in? Maybe someone can direct you to a good state
> list.

I think I found one. Thanks!
>
>
> Unschooling is possible in every state. The key is to be fully
> informed of the state laws. (Often superintendents will try to
> enforce what they believe is right about education, depending on the
> homeschooling parents to be ignorant and intimidated by authority.)

Yes, I think I've already seen this. The Curriculum Director may have
backed off now that HSLDA has contacted them.

Thanks!

Christie

c3_2323

--- In [email protected], "H Sand" <hsand06@...> wrote:
>
> I love your questions and have many of the same concerns! I know what
> you mean about the other groups... not newbie friendly at all! I hope
> to find the support and guidance here:) Glad you posted!

Thanks! I'm always good for questions ;-)

Christie

c3_2323

>
>

>
>
> 1). What are your best tips for "letting go"? I'm fully aware that I
> have much deschooling to do myself; and my son, who did a year and 3/4
> of school needs it too. I'm scared that he won't get all that he
> needs, even though I have a voice of reason telling me that he's not
> going to be 20 and not be able to add two digit numbers.
>
> -=-=-=-=-=-=-
> Read, read, read, read, read. Here, in the archives, and at these
two sites:
>
>
> www.joyfullyrejoycing.com
>
> www.sandradodd.com/unschooling

Thanks. I'm trying; I just need to be patient with slow progress, lol.
>
>
>
>
> That's MONTHS of reading, even if you're a speed-reader!

Exactly, and I'm sooo not.
>
> Consider buying this book: Parenting a Free Child, an Unschooled
Life by Rue Kream.

It's on the list; thanks!
>
>
> Understand that there's no "magic age" for anyone to know anything.
We have our entire lives to learn what we need to learn----and, not
only is it *easier* to learn those things when we need them, it's how
we are hard-wired---AND it simply makes more sense! <g>

It does, and that makes lots of sense. Thanks!!!!
>
>
> -=-=-=-=-=-=-
>
> 2). My dh is not overly-supportive of homeschooling all together.
> Unschooling will be a hard "sell". I've been planting the seed, as
> Joshua has been miserable with math in particular.
>
>
> -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
>
>
> Keep in mind that your husband loves your son too and wants the best
for him.

I do, thanks!
>
>
>
>
> We are frightened of the unknown. So help make it "known." Attend an
unschooling conference or gathering (there's almost no excuse
now---there's one in some part of the country every six weeks or
less!!!) so you can meet other unschooling parents---and especially TEENS.

Great idea. I've joined the event group and will see what comes around.
>
>
>
>
> Seeing IS believing---really!


Yes. >
>
>
>
> -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
>
>
> 3). The biggest obstacle of all is the school district--in my short (5
> month) homeschooling career, they've harassed me in many ways, mostly
> annoying, but worrisome to some extent when I get letters threatening
> Superintendent involvement even though I've turned in the paperwork in
> question.  I can't see how I can meet their "requirements" and still
unschool.
>
> -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
>
>
> The school district is your SMALLEST concern. Homeschooling's legal
in all 50 states. Which state are you in? We have someone from there
(and Deb Rossing! <g>) who can clarify the law for you and give you balls.
>
>
>
>
> It's possible even in New York and Pennsylvania, the two toughest
states.

Ha, well, I'm in NY! I just joined a group specific to NY so
hopefully that will be helpful, but I'm dizzy with all the new groups
so far.
>
>
>
> -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
>
> My mantra might be "do it afraid".  
>
> -=-=-=-=-=-
>
> I think better is: "Find out MORE, so you're NOT afraid!"
>
> -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=

Sure, I just meant that I'm not going to let my fear stop me. It's a
phrase I've borrowed from some ICAN (International Cesarean Awareness
Network) friends. It just means, don't let fear stop you. I never
stop there, I always look for more info.
>
> I'm intrigued about unschooling
> even though I haven't read tons on it, and I've come to believe that
> this approach will benefit my son and in the end, that's what it's all
> about. My stuff, I can get over. Might be a challenge, but I can
> handle it.
>
>
> -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
>
> Read tons. <g> And then come back with more questions.

You must know who you're talking to ;-)

Thanks,

Christie