Kristie Cochran

Since we have a resident speech pathologist on the list, and lots of
parents with lots of experience, I do have a slight concern with my
3.5yo son. When he was younger, he refused to sign (my first would sign
with me) and would point and grunt. That was fine, we could figure out
what he wanted. He finally decided to talk right before his 3rd
birthday (November). His speech almost sounds indicative of someone
with a hearing problem, but he hears fine.

The thing that is troubling me a bit is that he has started stuttering
and it seems to be getting worse. At first it was mild, and I thought
he was picking it up from the movie Alvin & the Chipmunks (which gets
watched a lot in the car). In one of the scenes one of the guys (not a
chipmunk) says, "Dave, Dave, Dave, Dave..." and then he finishes his
sentence. That's the only time this guy stutters his words in the movie.

Chase, my 3.5yo, would stutter some here and there and I just let it
go. Now it's progressing and he's stuttering words multiple times and
really starting to stutter on words that begin with the "s" sound. I'm
wondering if some of it could be food related because he's been on an
unusually big sugar kick lately. I don't really attribute sugar to any
behavior issues, but I'm wondering if something in his diet could be
attributed to his stuttering. Or, is this normal? I have no idea
because no one in my family stutters, so I don't have any experience
with it.

All advice is welcome!

Kristie

No virus found in this outgoing message.
Checked by AVG - http://www.avg.com
Version: 8.0.138 / Virus Database: 270.5.12/1597 - Release Date: 8/7/2008 5:54 AM

Shannon

When I was young I wanted to fix the world, I have come to except the fact
that I cannot change the world. With that said and sadly, one of my friends
is a bad parent. I promised I would never tell another parent how to parent
their child but I have a hard time sitting by as she and her DH demean their
oldest son (5) and hit him for doing no wrong but being a normal child and
allowing their youngest (almost 2) to do the same thing they just yelled at
the older one for. I want to shake her until she gains some sense but I know
that is not an option. I just don't know what to do. does anyone have any
suggestions?

Shannon



[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

k

I am in the midst of something or I would take time to answer this. There
are lots of options for approaching this but they don't entail changing
others.

~Katherine


On 8/7/08, Shannon <dragteine76@...> wrote:
>
> When I was young I wanted to fix the world, I have come to except the
> fact
> that I cannot change the world. With that said and sadly, one of my friends
> is a bad parent. I promised I would never tell another parent how to parent
> their child but I have a hard time sitting by as she and her DH demean
> their
> oldest son (5) and hit him for doing no wrong but being a normal child and
> allowing their youngest (almost 2) to do the same thing they just yelled at
> the older one for. I want to shake her until she gains some sense but I
> know
> that is not an option. I just don't know what to do. does anyone have any
> suggestions?
>
> Shannon
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>
>
>


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

k

A lot of what you're seeing is probably development. There are tons of
people on the list and other lists too with children who stuttered. Karl
repeats himself at the beginning of a sentence several times occasionally.
More so than he used to. He has excellent speech otherwise at 5 and I am
not worried. He will figure out what works for him.

~Katherine



On 8/7/08, Kristie Cochran <kristiecochran@...> wrote:
>
> Since we have a resident speech pathologist on the list, and lots of
> parents with lots of experience, I do have a slight concern with my
> 3.5yo son. When he was younger, he refused to sign (my first would sign
> with me) and would point and grunt. That was fine, we could figure out
> what he wanted. He finally decided to talk right before his 3rd
> birthday (November). His speech almost sounds indicative of someone
> with a hearing problem, but he hears fine.
>
> The thing that is troubling me a bit is that he has started stuttering
> and it seems to be getting worse. At first it was mild, and I thought
> he was picking it up from the movie Alvin & the Chipmunks (which gets
> watched a lot in the car). In one of the scenes one of the guys (not a
> chipmunk) says, "Dave, Dave, Dave, Dave..." and then he finishes his
> sentence. That's the only time this guy stutters his words in the movie.
>
> Chase, my 3.5yo, would stutter some here and there and I just let it
> go. Now it's progressing and he's stuttering words multiple times and
> really starting to stutter on words that begin with the "s" sound. I'm
> wondering if some of it could be food related because he's been on an
> unusually big sugar kick lately. I don't really attribute sugar to any
> behavior issues, but I'm wondering if something in his diet could be
> attributed to his stuttering. Or, is this normal? I have no idea
> because no one in my family stutters, so I don't have any experience
> with it.
>
> All advice is welcome!
>
> Kristie
>
> No virus found in this outgoing message.
> Checked by AVG - http://www.avg.com
> Version: 8.0.138 / Virus Database: 270.5.12/1597 - Release Date: 8/7/2008
> 5:54 AM
>
>
>


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

[email protected]

In a message dated 8/7/2008 9:27:19 P.M. Eastern Daylight Time,
kristiecochran@... writes:

Or, is this normal? I have no idea
because no one in my family stutters, so I don't have any experience
with it.



____

It's not the sugar!!! <g> Dysfluencies are very common in many children as
they are learning speech patterns. Some kids don't have any but many
children go through a period where they are repeating sounds and syllables and
words. Three to four year old children are going through these amazing speech
and language changes as they are learning inflection and sound systems. Also,
their vocabulary is just exploding.

It's one of the main concerns of parents at this age as their children start
having repetitions with their expressive speech. I usually recommend that 1)
make sure you are on their level when you talk with them....kneel down and
get eye contact and have all the time in the world to listen. Don't finish
their words...just be patient. When you understand what they are saying,
repeat it back so they know you have understood. 2) Don't call attention to
their speech and find ways they can express themselves nonverbally if they are
having a rough day

It's just like walking or reading....kids go through the process in their
own time and in their own way. It is highly unusual for dysfluencies at this
age to continue and progress to stuttering.

Gail

_http://gail-hummingbirdhaven.blogspot.com/_
(http://gail-hummingbirdhaven.blogspot.com/)




**************Looking for a car that's sporty, fun and fits in your budget?
Read reviews on AOL Autos.
(http://autos.aol.com/cars-BMW-128-2008/expert-review?ncid=aolaut00050000000017 )


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Shannon

When you have time, I would be open to any suggestions as I see the hurt
they are doing to this very sweet boy and while my mind says he isn't mine
and I have no right to tell his mother what to do. My heart longs to protect
him. It has been a long time since I have over ridden the "I can only fix
myself and I can only focus on my family" lecture.

Shannon



_____

From: [email protected]
[mailto:[email protected]] On Behalf Of k
Sent: Thursday, August 07, 2008 10:14 PM
To: [email protected]
Subject: Re: [unschoolingbasics] Bad parents



I am in the midst of something or I would take time to answer this. There
are lots of options for approaching this but they don't entail changing
others.

~Katherine

On 8/7/08, Shannon <dragteine76@ <mailto:dragteine76%40verizon.net>
verizon.net> wrote:
>
> When I was young I wanted to fix the world, I have come to except the
> fact
> that I cannot change the world. With that said and sadly, one of my
friends
> is a bad parent. I promised I would never tell another parent how to
parent
> their child but I have a hard time sitting by as she and her DH demean
> their
> oldest son (5) and hit him for doing no wrong but being a normal child and
> allowing their youngest (almost 2) to do the same thing they just yelled
at
> the older one for. I want to shake her until she gains some sense but I
> know
> that is not an option. I just don't know what to do. does anyone have any
> suggestions?
>
> Shannon
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>
>
>

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]





[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Kimberlee

Have you tried Nonviolent Communication? I recently found out about
it from another list. (I think NVC is great and powerful. Thanks
Meredith:)) I can't quite think how to describe it in a way to let you
know how important it is. Here is a quote from the website (www.cnvc.org
) for the Centre for Nonviolent Communication:

"NVC involves both communication skills that foster compassionate
relating and consciousness of the interdependence of our well being
and using power with others to work together to meet the needs of all
concerned".

You can search the list archives too as I know it's come up here years
ago. My suggestion is that you read about it if you don't already know
the process. You could then try it with your friend and her children.
When you use NVC, the other person doesn't need to know NVC for it to
help. You can start with the website and the book Nonviolent
Communication: a language of life by Marshall Rosenberg. The author
has also written a booklet for parents Raising Children
Compassionately: Parenting the Nonviolent Communication Way. (I've
requested this one on interlibrary loan and I'm looking forward to
reading it). You can order the books online or try your local public
library. There are also workshops if you really get into it.

As you describe the other parent as a friend, I can really understand
why you would want to help her as well as her children. I'd like to
buy copies of the books for all my relatives and friends, but first
I'll have to win the lottery!

Kimberlee


> When you have time, I would be open to any suggestions as I see the
> hurt
> they are doing to this very sweet boy and while my mind says he
> isn't mine
> and I have no right to tell his mother what to do. My heart longs to
> protect
> him. It has been a long time since I have over ridden the "I can
> only fix
> myself and I can only focus on my family" lecture.
>
> Shannon
>
> _____
>
> From: [email protected]
> [mailto:[email protected]] On Behalf Of k
> Sent: Thursday, August 07, 2008 10:14 PM
> To: [email protected]
> Subject: Re: [unschoolingbasics] Bad parents
>
> I am in the midst of something or I would take time to answer this.
> There
> are lots of options for approaching this but they don't entail
> changing
> others.
>
> ~Katherine
>
> On 8/7/08, Shannon <dragteine76@ <mailto:dragteine76%40verizon.net>
> verizon.net> wrote:
> >
> > When I was young I wanted to fix the world, I have come to except
> the
> > fact
> > that I cannot change the world. With that said and sadly, one of my
> friends
> > is a bad parent. I promised I would never tell another parent how to
> parent
> > their child but I have a hard time sitting by as she and her DH
> demean
> > their
> > oldest son (5) and hit him for doing no wrong but being a normal
> child and
> > allowing their youngest (almost 2) to do the same thing they just
> yelled
> at
> > the older one for. I want to shake her until she gains some sense
> but I
> > know
> > that is not an option. I just don't know what to do. does anyone
> have any
> > suggestions?
> >
> > Shannon
> >
> > [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
> >
> >
> >
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>
>
>



[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

[email protected]

-----Original Message-----
From: Shannon <dragteine76@...>


When I was young I wanted to fix the world, I have come to except the
fact
that I cannot change the world. With that said and sadly, one of my
friends
is a bad parent. I promised I would never tell another parent how to
parent
their child but I have a hard time sitting by as she and her DH demean
their
oldest son (5) and hit him for doing no wrong but being a normal child
and
allowing their youngest (almost 2) to do the same thing they just
yelled at
the older one for. I want to shake her until she gains some sense but I
know
that is not an option. I just don't know what to do. does anyone have
any
suggestions?

-=-=-=-=-

You know, it depends on the person and on your relationship. We can't
tell others how to parent, but we can offer options or be a sounding
board. It really depends.

1) If it's a really good friend and you talk a lot, she may be open to
some ideas. Maybe give her Rue's book for the next gift-giving
occasion---or just because. Then offer to talk about it.

BE the change you want to see. BE a shining example. Offer to take the
child when things get crazy.


2) If it's not a really good friend, walk away. Your heart will break
each and every time you're around them, and it will get harder and
harder to be around them.

I've lost several good friends since we've change our way of parenting
and/or since they became parents. BUT...our lives have been enriched
since then by the families we've met who've embraced the same
philosophy. It's just so much more pleasant around here NOT to have
that bad energy in our lives.

We have an incredible circle of friends that we've purposefully worked
at establishing these last eight years---and it grows each year! I'd
hate to think what it would be like if we'd kept all the same friends
we had ten years ago. Many are such downers. <G>



~Kelly

Kelly Lovejoy
Conference Coordinator
Live and Learn Unschooling Conference
http://www.LiveandLearnConference.org

Sarah

My son went through a stuttering phase. The SLP we were seeing at the time for the apraxia (I believe he was 4 to 4 1/2 years old) said it was a normal development stage. Again for me it's about what is okay with the child. If he or she is unaware and not bothered by it then I wouldn't be concerned. If the child gets frustrated and gives up on the word, having to find another word to get what they desire or expresses to you feeling a loss of confidence due to the way they speak, then I'd start researching how to help them through.

All the best,
Sarah

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

[email protected]

I would have a hard time walking away from this. It sounds like the poor
child is being mentally and maybe physically abused. The child needs someone to
stand up for him. Could you talk to another family member (grandparent,
aunt)? Even if it does cost you the friendship maybe you could tell your friend
how you feel and (strongly) suggest parenting classes or counseling.


In a message dated 8/8/2008 12:13:05 P.M. Eastern Daylight Time,
kbcdlovejo@... writes:




-----Original Message-----
From: Shannon <_dragteine76@dragteine76_ (mailto:dragteine76@...) >

When I was young I wanted to fix the world, I have come to except the
fact
that I cannot change the world. With that said and sadly, one of my
friends
is a bad parent. I promised I would never tell another parent how to
parent
their child but I have a hard time sitting by as she and her DH demean
their
oldest son (5) and hit him for doing no wrong but being a normal child
and
allowing their youngest (almost 2) to do the same thing they just
yelled at
the older one for. I want to shake her until she gains some sense but I
know
that is not an option. I just don't know what to do. does anyone have
any
suggestions?

-=-=-=-=-

You know, it depends on the person and on your relationship. We can't
tell others how to parent, but we can offer options or be a sounding
board. It really depends.

1) If it's a really good friend and you talk a lot, she may be open to
some ideas. Maybe give her Rue's book for the next gift-giving
occasion---or just because. Then offer to talk about it.

BE the change you want to see. BE a shining example. Offer to take the
child when things get crazy.

2) If it's not a really good friend, walk away. Your heart will break
each and every time you're around them, and it will get harder and
harder to be around them.

I've lost several good friends since we've change our way of parenting
and/or since they became parents. BUT...our lives have been enriched
since then by the families we've met who've embraced the same
philosophy. It's just so much more pleasant around here NOT to have
that bad energy in our lives.

We have an incredible circle of friends that we've purposefully worked
at establishing these last eight years---and it grows each year! I'd
hate to think what it would be like if we'd kept all the same friends
we had ten years ago. Many are such downers. <G>

~Kelly

Kelly Lovejoy
Conference Coordinator
Live and Learn Unschooling Conference
_http://www.LiveandLhttp://www.Livehtt_
(http://www.liveandlearnconference.org/)






**************Looking for a car that's sporty, fun and fits in your budget?
Read reviews on AOL Autos.
(http://autos.aol.com/cars-BMW-128-2008/expert-review?ncid=aolaut00050000000017 )


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]