mldeluca9924

My son and I are looking into alternatives to public school, and we
are both drawn to unschooling because it makes the most sense. My son
is brilliant (if I do say so myself lol) and creative and "failing"
miserably at school. It's an awful place for him to be, I know that.
I've read John Gatto, Grace Llewellyn, etc., and have been reading
the posts here, and am going to the Northeast Unschooling Conference
next week.

Honestly, I'd already have pulled him out of school if it weren't for
the roadblock of my not being a stay-at-home-mom. I don't think that,
in all my research, I have come across a single unschooling family
that has parents working outside the home. Our family struggles
financially on two incomes, so one of us quitting our jobs just seems
out of the realm of possibilities. We live in an area that is
insanely expensive and DH is not quite ready to move away from our
family and friends to make it easier for us to afford life.

So, my question is, how realistic is it to expect my son to be able
to thrive in an unschooling lifestyle if there isn't a parent home
with him every day? He's turning 13 soon and is in 7th grade now. I
can work from home one day per week, as can his grandmother who lives
a couple miles away.

I feel so desperate to get him out of public school, but the
logistics of it all just seem so out of reach...

Any thoughts? Advice?

Faith Void

I unschooled my dd for 2 years as a single mama. The specifics matter
less than I was really creative and thought out of the box. I believe
that you can do it. My dd was very young so it might even be easier
with a older child. Less need for babysitting.
Faith

On Fri, May 16, 2008 at 3:06 PM, mldeluca9924 <mldeluca9924@...> wrote:
> My son and I are looking into alternatives to public school, and we
> are both drawn to unschooling because it makes the most sense. My son
> is brilliant (if I do say so myself lol) and creative and "failing"
> miserably at school. It's an awful place for him to be, I know that.
> I've read John Gatto, Grace Llewellyn, etc., and have been reading
> the posts here, and am going to the Northeast Unschooling Conference
> next week.
>
> Honestly, I'd already have pulled him out of school if it weren't for
> the roadblock of my not being a stay-at-home-mom. I don't think that,
> in all my research, I have come across a single unschooling family
> that has parents working outside the home. Our family struggles
> financially on two incomes, so one of us quitting our jobs just seems
> out of the realm of possibilities. We live in an area that is
> insanely expensive and DH is not quite ready to move away from our
> family and friends to make it easier for us to afford life.
>
> So, my question is, how realistic is it to expect my son to be able
> to thrive in an unschooling lifestyle if there isn't a parent home
> with him every day? He's turning 13 soon and is in 7th grade now. I
> can work from home one day per week, as can his grandmother who lives
> a couple miles away.
>
> I feel so desperate to get him out of public school, but the
> logistics of it all just seem so out of reach...
>
> Any thoughts? Advice?
>
>



--
www.bearthmama.com

Vickisue Gray

Hi,
I work full-time, currently 8am-4pm M-F, since my promotion to Supervisor . When we started having trouble with the schools, I was working full-time on the midnight shift and actually fought to keep my son IN school, so I could get some sleep.  That didn't work.  I pulled him out of Kindergarten when the teacher put him in a two hour time out then forgot about him, locking him in the classroom alone when she took the other kids to the buses. 
 
Since he had tested extremely high on the IQ test, he qualified for the gifted program at another school the following year.  That lasted 15 days.  It's amazing the amount of damage that can be done to a child's self-esteem in such a short period.  I called my spouse and told him I couldn't do it, meaning leave my boy in that class after spending time there myself and witnessing what went on.  My spouse came to the school and he sat in the class. It took him less time and he pulled my son out that day.
 
Since I was still working mids, I refused homeschooling which my spouse really wanted to do but I knew the 'burden' of homeschooling would fall to me and I wasn't ready.  We ended up putting my son in a private school and first grade went well.  Excellent teacher and schools would thrive with more of her but alas, good things don't last and the next year, my son got a terrible teacher.  The bullying that she didn't stop, prevent, care to address became overwhelming.  My young son started talking suicidal at age seven.  No place for a child EVER to be emotionally.  They were stomping the joy of LIFE from his being.  I pulled him out that fall after witnessing the teacher call him names in front of the whole school.
 
When I demanded his records and books, I learned that they had tested him at the end of first grade and had found that he was reading above an eighth grade level.  His math was above fourth grade.  He didn't 'fit' their cookie cutter classroom. 
 
I tried to do 'school at home' and that was miserable.  Then Grandma had a stroke and moved in and things became even more stressed.  I had to find a solution.  I came across unschooling and started reading, reading, reading.  My son has returned to the happy person he was even though there are some days he is on his own for a few hours to entertain himself.  He gets up when he pleases and weil get online or call me if he wants to talk.
 
My spouse is a firefighter, so he works every third day so our son isn't home alone with grandma much.  I guess it helps that we live on a farm.  Anyway, last year, we ended up taking all our kids out of the system.  I wish I had never sent them to school in the first place.  Live and learn. 
Good luck on your journey and know it can work even if you aren't a stay at home mom.
Vicki


----- Original Message ----
From: mldeluca9924 <mldeluca9924@...>
To: [email protected]
Sent: Friday, May 16, 2008 3:06:37 PM
Subject: [unschoolingbasics] Unschooling/Working


My son and I are looking into alternatives to public school, and we
are both drawn to unschooling because it makes the most sense. My son
is brilliant (if I do say so myself lol) and creative and "failing"
miserably at school. It's an awful place for him to be, I know that.
I've read John Gatto, Grace Llewellyn, etc., and have been reading
the posts here, and am going to the Northeast Unschooling Conference
next week.

Honestly, I'd already have pulled him out of school if it weren't for
the roadblock of my not being a stay-at-home- mom. I don't think that,
in all my research, I have come across a single unschooling family
that has parents working outside the home. Our family struggles
financially on two incomes, so one of us quitting our jobs just seems
out of the realm of possibilities. We live in an area that is
insanely expensive and DH is not quite ready to move away from our
family and friends to make it easier for us to afford life.

So, my question is, how realistic is it to expect my son to be able
to thrive in an unschooling lifestyle if there isn't a parent home
with him every day? He's turning 13 soon and is in 7th grade now. I
can work from home one day per week, as can his grandmother who lives
a couple miles away.

I feel so desperate to get him out of public school, but the
logistics of it all just seem so out of reach...

Any thoughts? Advice?






[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

[email protected]

-----Original Message-----
From: Vickisue Gray <vickisue_gray@...>

I wish I had never sent them to school in the first place.  Live and
learn. 

-=-==-

What a wonderful name for a conference!

<g>



~Kelly, shameless <g>

Kelly Lovejoy
Conference Coordinator
Live and Learn Unschooling Conference
http://www.LiveandLearnConference.org

marji

At 15:06 5/16/2008, you wrote:
>...I don't think that, in all my research, I have come across a
>single unschooling family that has parents working outside the home.

There are lots of ways to do it. I work from home now, but there was
I time when both of us worked outside the home. We just juggled our
schedules so that there was always one of us home. There is a whole
group, a yahoo group, of us unschoolers who also work. I started it
exactly for folks like you who would like to pick the brains of
people who are working and radically unschooling. If you're
interested in joining, here's where the group lives:

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/WRU/

>Our family struggles financially on two incomes, so one of us
>quitting our jobs just seems
>out of the realm of possibilities. We live in an area that is
>insanely expensive and DH is not quite ready to move away from our
>family and friends to make it easier for us to afford life.

Sounds a little impossible, but sometimes all the "can'ts" and
"won'ts" prevent us from being open to the possibilities that are
right there. Sometimes, you just have to skew your perspective a
little, and you'll see something that is perfect that you might have
otherwise overlooked.

When my son was an infant, we wanted to live in a little house in the
woods. I knew exactly what we wanted, and I believed there was a
place like that for us. Almost all the real estate agents in this
area we wanted to move to said there was no such place like that
where we were looking. But, I knew there had to be, and in our price
range. On our way out of town we stopped at one more office and the
lady there said she'd keep an eye out for us. When we got back to
our apartment, she had left a message on our machine saying that she
had, in fact, found something. It was a little out of our price
range. We went back to see it and it was *perfect* ~ just what we
wanted! We asked the owner if she'd consider taking a little less
and she was totally open to it.

My point is that there are *always* possibilities. If we had
listened to all these knowledgeable real estate agents who knew the
area far, far better than we did, we'd have just gone home that day
and figured that the trip was a bust. The hardest part is
identifying what you really want. We did, and it worked out beautifully.

>Any thoughts? Advice?

See you next week at the Northeast Unschooling Conference. Please
find me and introduce yourself so we can talk about this more. Okay?

~Marji



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
<http://gaiawolf.org/>Joyfully Parenting & Life Coaching
<http://gaiawolf.org/>GaiaWolf ~ Music for the Planet
<http://myspace.com/marjizintz>Marji's Myspace
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Vickisue Gray

Lol....Wish I was going to one....maybe someday....


----- Original Message ----
From: "kbcdlovejo@..." <kbcdlovejo@...>
To: [email protected]
Sent: Friday, May 16, 2008 6:02:30 PM
Subject: Re: [unschoolingbasics] Unschooling/Working


-----Original Message-----
From: Vickisue Gray <vickisue_gray@ yahoo.com>

I wish I had never sent them to school in the first place.  Live and
learn. 

-=-==-

What a wonderful name for a conference!

<g>

~Kelly, shameless <g>

Kelly Lovejoy
Conference Coordinator
Live and Learn Unschooling Conference
http://www.LiveandL earnConference. org






[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Ren Allen

~~
Honestly, I'd already have pulled him out of school if it weren't for
the roadblock of my not being a stay-at-home-mom. I don't think that,
in all my research, I have come across a single unschooling family
that has parents working outside the home.~~

My dh and I work full-time. In fact, my job is the insurance provider
so there is little chance I'll be leaving anytime soon. There are so
many creative ways to make it work, especially with an older child.

I have a close friend in Pensacola who worked outside the home off and
on, as a single mama. She now runs a cottage industry and her kids are
involved, but she still spends quite a bit of time doing it herself.
(http://gatheringwoolonline.com/default.aspx)

It CAN work! Make room in your life for the possibility and I bet
you'll both find many ways to give him access to what he needs AND
provide an income.

Ren
learninginfreedom.com

Barbara Perez

marji,
I hope it's OK to post here just to thank you for sharing that beautifully
inspiring story about how you got your "little house in the woods". I have
been struggling believing I can find exactly what I want, when I do know
exactly what I want. Thanks for giving me hope.

On Fri, May 16, 2008 at 3:32 PM, marji <marji@...> wrote:

> At 15:06 5/16/2008, you wrote:
> >...I don't think that, in all my research, I have come across a
> >single unschooling family that has parents working outside the home.
>
> There are lots of ways to do it. I work from home now, but there was
> I time when both of us worked outside the home. We just juggled our
> schedules so that there was always one of us home. There is a whole
> group, a yahoo group, of us unschoolers who also work. I started it
> exactly for folks like you who would like to pick the brains of
> people who are working and radically unschooling. If you're
> interested in joining, here's where the group lives:
>
> http://groups.yahoo.com/group/WRU/
>
> >Our family struggles financially on two incomes, so one of us
> >quitting our jobs just seems
> >out of the realm of possibilities. We live in an area that is
> >insanely expensive and DH is not quite ready to move away from our
> >family and friends to make it easier for us to afford life.
>
> Sounds a little impossible, but sometimes all the "can'ts" and
> "won'ts" prevent us from being open to the possibilities that are
> right there. Sometimes, you just have to skew your perspective a
> little, and you'll see something that is perfect that you might have
> otherwise overlooked.
>
> When my son was an infant, we wanted to live in a little house in the
> woods. I knew exactly what we wanted, and I believed there was a
> place like that for us. Almost all the real estate agents in this
> area we wanted to move to said there was no such place like that
> where we were looking. But, I knew there had to be, and in our price
> range. On our way out of town we stopped at one more office and the
> lady there said she'd keep an eye out for us. When we got back to
> our apartment, she had left a message on our machine saying that she
> had, in fact, found something. It was a little out of our price
> range. We went back to see it and it was *perfect* ~ just what we
> wanted! We asked the owner if she'd consider taking a little less
> and she was totally open to it.
>
> My point is that there are *always* possibilities. If we had
> listened to all these knowledgeable real estate agents who knew the
> area far, far better than we did, we'd have just gone home that day
> and figured that the trip was a bust. The hardest part is
> identifying what you really want. We did, and it worked out beautifully.
>
> >Any thoughts? Advice?
>
> See you next week at the Northeast Unschooling Conference. Please
> find me and introduce yourself so we can talk about this more. Okay?
>
> ~Marji
>
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> <http://gaiawolf.org/>Joyfully Parenting & Life Coaching
> <http://gaiawolf.org/>GaiaWolf ~ Music for the Planet
> <http://myspace.com/marjizintz>Marji's Myspace
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>
>
>


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Alison Broadbent

In our unschooling group in Santa Monica, many of the moms are single
and working. I've got 2 of the kids on different days and they've
got arrangements w/ other families as well.

It's summer time so maybe a good time to find out if there are others
around you, you feel you can connect with. It can be a good
situation for both families. Also, where you work may be open to
being more flexible. Maybe doing some work from home. It might help
to reframe the question from whether he can unschool alone at home
for 8-10 hours a day to how can we rearrange things so we can do this
as a family. It's a shake up but one that can be really worth it for
everybody.

Good luck,

Alison

Debra Rossing

One biggie is that you'll need to work out appropriate care for your
child. Unless you & partner can juggle schedules around (flexible shifts
for example), you'll need to include a third party - relative, friend,
whomever who can be a "daycare" provider because you won't have the free
state-run daycare of public school. The person with your child does not
have to be a parent specifically *provided* that the other person is
on-board to some extent with the direction you are choosing. If grandma
is able and willing to be on hand and NOT expect schoolwork to happen,
that'd be great. However, it'll probably take some time to sort out what
works and what doesn't. For instance, is your DS a very social kid -
likes to be out and about and interacting with lots of people all the
time? If so, you'll want to incorporate as much social activity as you
can. And, with a 13 yr old, one realistic possibility is to find other
families/friends to take him along when they go here or there some of
the time (wouldn't be as workable with a littler kid as much, though
still possible). What other resources does *he* want in his life -
access to computer? To library? To videogames? To a running track? A
skateboard park? Talk it over as a family - it's certainly possible...

Deb


**********************************************************************
This email and any files transmitted with it are confidential and
intended solely for the use of the individual or entity to whom they
are addressed. If you have received this email in error please notify
the system manager.

This footnote also confirms that this email message has been swept by
MIMEsweeper for the presence of computer viruses.

CNC Software, Inc.
www.mastercam.com
**********************************************************************




[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]