Marie

Thank you for all who dedicate themselves to this site...I am
returning to refocus..According to Kelly Lovejoy's Three Stages of
Unschooling, I think I am in "stage II of unschooling"....after four
years!

I will try to cut right to the chase...
two children ages 8 and 11. We covered the basics when they asked
for the information. My son has been exposed to some graphic sites
thanks to the suggestion of boys he met at day camp (which he told me
about). He has watched some movies with and also with his Dad (who
falls asleep and is less comfortable exploring consequential
conversation of sexual content). My son loves humor and to my
chargin, Family Guy on Fox. He has some new 13 old homeschool
friends who have introduced him to the conversations that boys this
age start to have (which my son has also shared with me). I have an
awesome and open relationship with my son. He'd rather talk with me
about sex than his Dad. AND, my husband and I have a new
masterbedroom and an 11 roommate. Sometimes he starts out in his own
bed but more often sleeps with us. When he's with us,all we do is
sleep. He likes to be cuddled by both my husband and myself. He's a
fantastic kid who is boyish, brawny, wild and sensative.

My problem is that he is "humping" , thrusting, moaning, basically
imitating it all and cracking himself up with his 8 year old sister
as the audience. I am concerned and have not been able to help
myself by initiating conversation about the appropriateness of his
behavior while being careful not to shame or embarass him. I've
asked him to take it to him room. Encouraged him to do what ever
dance he needs to do infront of is mirror, take his clothes off and
shake his booty in his room but to be considerate of his sister to no
avail.

Yesterday they asked me about rape and then went off into a silly
dialog that unnerved me then made me mad at them and then at myself,
questioning my parenting. Last night my daugther leaped ontop of my
husband and did a little humping action herself and he sent her to
her room.

My husband's family history includes a step dad who molested his
sister. My mother was a teenage mother at 16 who made my crazy with
fear about sex so we maybe hyper-sensative to his behavior. I
thought my approach would take us in a different direction where they
would find the subject more matter of fact. I have been very frank
and open with both kids when questions arise. I want them to feel
good about their sexuality but aware of the consequences.

I would welcome any suggestions on what I should, or shouldn't be
doing. I have suggested in the past that they allow their friends'
parents enjoy the same kinds of intimate discussions rather than
being the kids on the block who are giving sex education on the back
step. I just wouldn't want their behavior to extend to friends and
be an invitation for trouble now or in the future.
Thanks,

Melissa Gray

I was sexually molested as a child, and so when our kids joked about
that (at the same age) I was also offended. I did tell them, that I
did not like that kind of talk because someone did that to me as a
child. I also said that talking like that in public could really hurt
someone else as well, so that they needed to think about it. There
was no shame in it, I didn't lecture or yell, it was just information.

I think we have a pretty good relationship, and they know that we can
talk about those things seriously, but I don't like joking about rape
or masturbation.
Melissa
Mom to Joshua, Breanna, Emily, Rachel, Samuel, Daniel and Avari
Wife to Zane

blog me at
http://startlinglives.blogspot.com/
http://startlinglives365.blogspot.com



On May 6, 2008, at 10:24 AM, Marie wrote:

> Thank you for all who dedicate themselves to this site...I am
> returning to refocus..According to Kelly Lovejoy's Three Stages of
> Unschooling, I think I am in "stage II of unschooling"....after four
> years!
>
> I will try to cut right to the chase...
> two children ages 8 and 11. We covered the basics when they asked
> for the information. My son has been exposed to some graphic sites
> thanks to the suggestion of boys he met at day camp (which he told me
> about). He has watched some movies with and also with his Dad (who
> falls asleep and is less comfortable exploring consequential
> conversation of sexual content). My son loves humor and to my
> chargin, Family Guy on Fox. He has some new 13 old homeschool
> friends who have introduced him to the conversations that boys this
> age start to have (which my son has also shared with me). I have an
> awesome and open relationship with my son. He'd rather talk with me
> about sex than his Dad. AND, my husband and I have a new
> masterbedroom and an 11 roommate. Sometimes he starts out in his own
> bed but more often sleeps with us. When he's with us,all we do is
> sleep. He likes to be cuddled by both my husband and myself. He's a
> fantastic kid who is boyish, brawny, wild and sensative.
>
> My problem is that he is "humping" , thrusting, moaning, basically
> imitating it all and cracking himself up with his 8 year old sister
> as the audience. I am concerned and have not been able to help
> myself by initiating conversation about the appropriateness of his
> behavior while being careful not to shame or embarass him. I've
> asked him to take it to him room. Encouraged him to do what ever
> dance he needs to do infront of is mirror, take his clothes off and
> shake his booty in his room but to be considerate of his sister to no
> avail.
>
> Yesterday they asked me about rape and then went off into a silly
> dialog that unnerved me then made me mad at them and then at myself,
> questioning my parenting. Last night my daugther leaped ontop of my
> husband and did a little humping action herself and he sent her to
> her room.
>
> My husband's family history includes a step dad who molested his
> sister. My mother was a teenage mother at 16 who made my crazy with
> fear about sex so we maybe hyper-sensative to his behavior. I
> thought my approach would take us in a different direction where they
> would find the subject more matter of fact. I have been very frank
> and open with both kids when questions arise. I want them to feel
> good about their sexuality but aware of the consequences.
>
> I would welcome any suggestions on what I should, or shouldn't be
> doing. I have suggested in the past that they allow their friends'
> parents enjoy the same kinds of intimate discussions rather than
> being the kids on the block who are giving sex education on the back
> step. I just wouldn't want their behavior to extend to friends and
> be an invitation for trouble now or in the future.
> Thanks,
>
>
>



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