poonam kurani

Hello to All,
 
It takes a lot of courage to go against the wind. And i truly admire all of u. I have just joined this group, i have a DS -3 yrs old and we r in Mumbai, India. Is there anybody Indian in this group.
 
I am struggling with unschooling my kid as most of what u all say and do, cannot be applied to an Indian home. :( I keep getting nervous and loosing grip on the freedom i choose to give my son. I end up daily feeling guilty about the authorative statements i make and TIME OUT that i issue.
 
Pls come to my rescue!
 
love Poonam



____________________________________________________________________________________
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Hema A. Bharadwaj

Hello Poonam,
I'm an Indian and recently settled in India. i've written to you offline.
you are welcome to get in touch.

I have yet to introduce myself to the group... shall do so soon.

best, hema

--
Hema A. Bharadwaj
Pune, India


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

n

Hi Poonam,

I am Indian, but live in the US. I have two sons - Nishay, 7 and Neer, 18mo.

Being Indian & unschooling is definitely a challenge - & ALSO being in India, I bet that is much harder! But, take heart - it is not something that happens overnight - small increments, constant thought & 're'thought ..... it'll happen! I think you are on a wonderful journey!

I have been unschooling from the start. Please do email me if there is something more specific I can help with.

Best,
neha
nishaysmom@...




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Education…is a process of living and not a preparation for future living. -- John Dewey






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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

[email protected]

-----Original Message-----
From: poonam kurani <kidsdomain@...>
 
 
I am struggling with unschooling my kid as most of what u all say and
do, cannot
be applied to an Indian home. :( I keep getting nervous and loosing
grip on the
freedom i choose to give my son. I end up daily feeling guilty about
the
authorative statements i make and TIME OUT that i issue.
 

-=-=-=-

*Why* can't it be applied to an Indian home?

What makes you so different? You're a parent. With a child.

Basically it's a decision, a *choice*, to be better, to be different.
You get to make that choice each and every time you open your mouth.

We all come with baggage. My husband's a Citadel grad and an Air Force
officer with a *very* controlling mother. <g> If *he* can do it, anyone
can!

What do you believe are your personal issues? Grandparents? Neighbors?
Your past?



~Kelly

Kelly Lovejoy
Conference Coordinator
Live and Learn Unschooling Conference
http://www.LiveandLearnConference.org

gilliangoddard

Dear Poonam,
Hello. I live in Trinidad and Tobago and although I am sure that there are lots of things
different than life in India, I am sure that there are definitely some things that are the
same.

For me, getting to unschooling in a real way required me to go bit by bit. And sometimes
we, as parents, have to pay attention to the big principles - complete respect, everyone
has the right to choose, rather than agonising about the fine points. Scott Noelle's
newsletter 'the Daily Groove' has been a big help to staying on track.

Today I was with my mother - and I have been definitely brought up with the 'respect your
elders, talk about children in front of them, don't allow your children to embarass you'
lifestyle - and several times it was a bit tempting to go down the road of not doing what
made sense/parental guilt/ many apologies. But then once I hold as critical that I really
want to treat my children with full respect, it becomes much easier.

So when my 8 year old son was being adamant that he didn't want to stay at my parents I
didn't run screaming out the door behind him with car keys in my hand but I did sit down
and hear his sadness and eventually he ran out the room to play with his cousins. I didn't
respond to my mother's comments but calmly went ahead and did what made sense.

Doing our own personal/emotional work makes a big difference as a parent - examining
how you feel when you are getting confused, talking out your challenges with another
adult. And in addition setting up a zero tolerance in your self with authoritarian
behaviours.

Good luck Poonam and keep being motivated to create a different experience within your
family.

Gillian

--- In [email protected], poonam kurani <kidsdomain@...> wrote:
>
>
> Hello to All,
>  
> It takes a lot of courage to go against the wind. And i truly admire all of u. I have just
joined this group, i have a DS -3 yrs old and we r in Mumbai, India. Is there anybody
Indian in this group.
>  
> I am struggling with unschooling my kid as most of what u all say and do, cannot be
applied to an Indian home. :( I keep getting nervous and loosing grip on the freedom i
choose to give my son. I end up daily feeling guilty about the authorative statements i
make and TIME OUT that i issue.
>  
> Pls come to my rescue!
>  
> love Poonam
>
>
>
>
____________________________________________________________________________________
> Be a better friend, newshound, and
> know-it-all with Yahoo! Mobile. Try it now.
http://mobile.yahoo.com/;_ylt=Ahu06i62sR8HDtDypao8Wcj9tAcJ
>

black eagle

Dear all,
I don't know what to pinpoint, cant figure it out myself

For Example:
Last night post dinner
GF to Veer (DS), lets go out for a walk.
Veer to ME: Can i go out with grandpa....I said yes u can.
DH to ME: No! he's not supposed to at this hour...Its dark and GF
will not be able to take care of him.
MIL to Me: I have told u to stop sending DS so many times ....she
does'nt understand

I kept MUM, DS threw a tantrum and nobody could stop him, as GF and
DS are best pals....and he did finally go out...coming back happily
after 20 mins.

Also most DH are least bothered about going the schooling or
unschooling way....its upto me....i have been trying to get
the "freedom & respect" conversations ....but they fall on deaf ears.

MIL rejects the idea completly and I have given up on her extending
partnership.


To sum it up: I AM ALONE IN THIS BANDWAGON! How do i do it?

Neha

Hi Poonam,

I think it is a slow process. It is a huge paradigm shift for even
those of us that are seeking the change - when you are asking for that
in people that don't even want to, or have never considered it, it is
much harder (for all). Some suggestions that come to mind to 'help'
get them thinking, or at least 'see' where you are coming from -

**Leave some simple reading material lying around. My family likes to
read on the toilet. I leave magazines there (unschooling mags in
particular). Esp stuff that has really 'spoken' to you. Maybe print
stuff off the web & leave the article there.

**Model, model, model. Treat your kids the way you want to without
considering where they are or who is around or any other circumstance.

**Talk to your kids a lot. Maybe even in front of your family. I talk
to Nishay (ds7) & tell him why I am doing what I am doing, even if its
right in front of my mom or dad or husband. They can understand too
(hopefully). I tell him how others feel when he acts a certain way,
and I validate his feelings if someone is not treating him properly
and show him ways to extricate himself from that environment, or get
him out myself if necessary. I stand up for him even if it means a
little unpleasantness with the rest of the family.

**Talk to your husband when you have time alone with him. If he can
start seeing where you are coming from, things will get much easier
with the rest of the family. You need him on your side, the sooner the
better.

**Hook up with other parents with similar parental philosophies. Hang
out with them as a family. It helped my husband get on board faster.

**When others ask about your homeschooling, let your husband answer.
Move away discreetly and see what happens. He may look to you for more
info & eventually 'get it' the more you get into it.


Just a few things I could think of right off the bat. I hope something
helps. Patience is the key!

neha


--- In [email protected], "black eagle"
<kidsdomain@...> wrote:
>
> Dear all,
> I don't know what to pinpoint, cant figure it out myself
>
> For Example:
> Last night post dinner
> GF to Veer (DS), lets go out for a walk.
> Veer to ME: Can i go out with grandpa....I said yes u can.
> DH to ME: No! he's not supposed to at this hour...Its dark and GF
> will not be able to take care of him.
> MIL to Me: I have told u to stop sending DS so many times ....she
> does'nt understand
>
> I kept MUM, DS threw a tantrum and nobody could stop him, as GF and
> DS are best pals....and he did finally go out...coming back happily
> after 20 mins.
>
> Also most DH are least bothered about going the schooling or
> unschooling way....its upto me....i have been trying to get
> the "freedom & respect" conversations ....but they fall on deaf ears.
>
> MIL rejects the idea completly and I have given up on her extending
> partnership.
>
>
> To sum it up: I AM ALONE IN THIS BANDWAGON! How do i do it?
>

[email protected]

-----Original Message-----
From: black eagle <kidsdomain@...>

For Example:
Last night post dinner
GF to Veer (DS), lets go out for a walk.
Veer to ME: Can i go out with grandpa....I said yes u can.
DH to ME: No! he's not supposed to at this hour...Its dark and GF
will not be able to take care of him.
MIL to Me: I have told u to stop sending DS so many times ....she
does'nt understand

I kept MUM, DS threw a tantrum and nobody could stop him, as GF and
DS are best pals....and he did finally go out...coming back happily
after 20 mins.

-=-=-=-=-

Why could *you* have gone to walk *with* your son and his grandfather?

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

Also most DH are least bothered about going the schooling or
unschooling way....its upto me....i have been trying to get
the "freedom & respect" conversations ....but they fall on deaf ears.

-=-=-=-=-=-

Is he not willing to listen to you at all? Maybe just about being
respectful of each other (all of you)---no more. Just that. Leave the
"freedom" out for a bit. Just talk about respect for each other.
Because Veer is so young, I wouldn't worry about unschooling at all
yet---just helping the family to understand that each and every person
deserves respect---regardless of age.

-=-=-=-=-

MIL rejects the idea completly and I have given up on her extending
partnership.

-=-=-=-=-=-

Bummer. But don't give her control over *you* OR your child. She can be
a bitch, but you don't have to let her disturb *your* life.

-=-=-=-=-=-=-

To sum it up: I AM ALONE IN THIS BANDWAGON! How do i do it?

-=-=-=-=-=-

Maybe there's a mom or two here who has broken through that barrier.
Anyone?


~Kelly

Kelly Lovejoy
Conference Coordinator
Live and Learn Unschooling Conference
http://www.LiveandLearnConference.org