Helping vs. Co-creation

Joyce Fetteroll

3 Mar 2008, at 5:30am

This is a question that a lot of new unschoolers struggle with: when
helping them might not really be helping them but easing our fears.

Another gem from Scott Noelle :-)

Joyce

THE DAILY GROOVE ~ by Scott Noelle
www.enjoyparenting.com/dailygroove

:: Helping vs. Co-creation ::

Q: How do you know when it's appropriate
to offer your child help/assistance?

A: When the offer feels *inspired* rather
than fear-based.

If you're coming from a perspective that your child is
helpless, damaged, weak, incompetent, lost, wrong,
etc., then your "help" will only give power to that
belief. It won't feel inspired to you, and it won't
inspire your child to connect with his or her Power.

But if you consciously shift your perspective to one
in which you see your child as capable of finding his
or her way, you won't feel like you "should" help, and
you probably won't offer to help unless asked.

However, you might be *inspired* to get involved in a
way that doesn't feel like you're a "have" helping a
"have-not" -- it'll feel more like two souls playing
together, co-creating purely for the joy of it!

http://dailygroove.net/helping

Jodi Bezzola

3 Mar 2008, at 12:22pm

Thanks Joyce for forwarding Scott Noelle's blurb today. I was just about to forward it and noticed that you beat me to it. I have often opened my mouth to 'help' one of my girls, and realized it wasn't help at all, but coming from my own fears. I think the simplicity of this question and answer are brilliant!

Jodi

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Jodi Bezzola

3 Mar 2008, at 12:31pm

I'd like an opinion on 2 books I'm considering ordering this morning. They are Connection Parenting, and Parenting From Your Heart. Here's the link so you know what books I'm talking about:

http://www.amazon.ca/dp/1932279768/ref=pe_14340_8568780_pe_ar_t1

Thanks :)

Jodi

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Mark V Fullerton

3 Mar 2008, at 1:51pm

Connection Parenting is a book I intended to read soon after I am done with Alfie Kohn's
Unconditional Parenting. It has great reviews on amazon.com

:: anne | arun ::

3 Mar 2008, at 3:58pm

> I'd like an opinion on 2 books I'm considering ordering this
> morning. They are Connection Parenting, and Parenting From Your
> Heart. Here's the link so you know what books I'm talking about:

i personally recommend Pam Leo's book as the best intro to non
coercive parenting around. She covers and introduces many other
authors and ideas in her book, so its a great starting point imo.

I wrote a full review here:

http://theparentingpit.com/reviews/pamleo_connectionparenting/

all the best
arun

_____________________________________________

http://www.theparentingpit.com

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Jodi Bezzola

3 Mar 2008, at 4:26pm

Thank you Arun for that most thorough review!

Jodi

: anne | arun: : Mon Mar 3 12: 58: 21@..., [email protected].;;;;;, ":: anne | arun ::" <life@...> wrote:

> I'd like an opinion on 2 books I'm considering ordering this
> morning. They are Connection Parenting, and Parenting From Your
> Heart. Here's the link so you know what books I'm talking about: