melissa_hice

Hello,

I've been reading a lot on this site and gaining such valuable
information. I am fairly new at unschooling (since this fall), and
as I gain more knowledge, thanks to discussion groups like this, I am
starting to make more and more sense of things.

Today, my dd(8) had a class at the zoo. While she had her class ds
(5) who is a very intense child, and I had some time to spend
together. I was determined to make this zoo trip nothing like our
past zoo trips where I was always trying to turn everything into a
learning experience. I just let ds go at his pace, look at what he
wanted to look at, do what he wanted to do.

Talk about a great trip! He passed by stuff that I would have, in
the past, made him stop and look at while I "discussed" it with him.
That was okay (never thought I'd find myself saying that!). He chose
instead to climb on all of the structures he could find (those meant
for climbing on and those not meant for climbing on!), He was more
interested in the vines that had fallen on the floor in the
rainforest than in any of the animals and that was okay. He spent
more time looking at the common squirrels roaming around the zoo
grounds than any other exotic animal and that was okay. He was so
into feeling all of the textures in the buildings and along the way
to the buildings. We stopped so he could punch through some ice on
the sidewalk, we looked and looked at a dead turtle on the ground as
he speculated as to why it might have died (it was missing it's head
so lots of ideas came up).

My former self would have thought this was wasted time. But today,
with my new outlook on things, I thought this was by far one of our
best zoo trips. So did ds. At one point, he said, "This is the best
zoo day I ever had! I like going to the zoo with you, Mommy."

Now the interesting thing is that there were other homeschooling moms
walking around with their younger children while the older ones were
in the class. It was interesting to notice that they spent lots of
time giving their children lessons over things they thought were
important and even demanding that their children pay attention and
remember what they were talking about. I was embarrassed to realize
that this was me just a few short months ago.

Also, in the past, I would have buddied up with one of the moms and
spent the entire time talking and forming a friendship. I'm not
saying that this is not good, but for me, this trip was about my son,
not me forming friendships. I noticed lots of other moms getting to
know one another and ignoring their children for the most part,
except when they saw something that they wanted their child to
learn. I was nice to the other moms but said that I was going to
follow my son around, and I did! I made this trip all about him, and
it felt great! I learned so much about him just in that hour and a
half! Can't wait until next Tuesday to do it again!

Melissa

Ren Allen

~~I made this trip all about him, and
it felt great! I learned so much about him just in that hour and a
half! Can't wait until next Tuesday to do it again!~~

This was really great to read about! It's amazing how much energy is
wasted by trying to direct and guide children, rather than simply
enjoying them.:) I bet you'll learn a lot from the adventure of
trusting him and trying to see the world through his eyes. Very cool.

Ren
learninginfreedom.com

wilda lahmann

Wow, that really is cool, and makes me want to make a trip to the zoo with my own 2 explorers, dd 14 and 10! Sounds like you all had a great time!
~Wilda

melissa_hice <mhice@...> wrote:
Hello,

I've been reading a lot on this site and gaining such valuable
information. I am fairly new at unschooling (since this fall), and
as I gain more knowledge, thanks to discussion groups like this, I am
starting to make more and more sense of things.

Today, my dd(8) had a class at the zoo. While she had her class ds
(5) who is a very intense child, and I had some time to spend
together. I was determined to make this zoo trip nothing like our
past zoo trips where I was always trying to turn everything into a
learning experience. I just let ds go at his pace, look at what he
wanted to look at, do what he wanted to do.

Talk about a great trip! He passed by stuff that I would have, in
the past, made him stop and look at while I "discussed" it with him.
That was okay (never thought I'd find myself saying that!). He chose
instead to climb on all of the structures he could find (those meant
for climbing on and those not meant for climbing on!), He was more
interested in the vines that had fallen on the floor in the
rainforest than in any of the animals and that was okay. He spent
more time looking at the common squirrels roaming around the zoo
grounds than any other exotic animal and that was okay. He was so
into feeling all of the textures in the buildings and along the way
to the buildings. We stopped so he could punch through some ice on
the sidewalk, we looked and looked at a dead turtle on the ground as
he speculated as to why it might have died (it was missing it's head
so lots of ideas came up).

My former self would have thought this was wasted time. But today,
with my new outlook on things, I thought this was by far one of our
best zoo trips. So did ds. At one point, he said, "This is the best
zoo day I ever had! I like going to the zoo with you, Mommy."

Now the interesting thing is that there were other homeschooling moms
walking around with their younger children while the older ones were
in the class. It was interesting to notice that they spent lots of
time giving their children lessons over things they thought were
important and even demanding that their children pay attention and
remember what they were talking about. I was embarrassed to realize
that this was me just a few short months ago.

Also, in the past, I would have buddied up with one of the moms and
spent the entire time talking and forming a friendship. I'm not
saying that this is not good, but for me, this trip was about my son,
not me forming friendships. I noticed lots of other moms getting to
know one another and ignoring their children for the most part,
except when they saw something that they wanted their child to
learn. I was nice to the other moms but said that I was going to
follow my son around, and I did! I made this trip all about him, and
it felt great! I learned so much about him just in that hour and a
half! Can't wait until next Tuesday to do it again!

Melissa








Savannah, Tennessee
"Just this side of Paradise"





---------------------------------
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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Donna Vanderlip

This was wonderful to read. Its so true. I am having many ah ha moments these days. 6 months through the deschooling process and I think my husband and I are just beginning to learn something. I too have made more and more days just about the kids and have found them delightful and indeed have found how much energy I save doing so. What is incredible to me is how much trusting is involved and the surprise to find that when I am directing and guiding I am not trusting. I feel more involved with the adventure of parenting and less weary because of the work to be done. I am wondering though what happens to all the years when lack of trust has forced us to make many parenting mistakes....what do our kids do with these errors....

All in all it is an incredible journey so far.

Donna and Brian

Ren Allen <starsuncloud@...> wrote:
~~I made this trip all about him, and
it felt great! I learned so much about him just in that hour and a
half! Can't wait until next Tuesday to do it again!~~

This was really great to read about! It's amazing how much energy is
wasted by trying to direct and guide children, rather than simply
enjoying them.:) I bet you'll learn a lot from the adventure of
trusting him and trying to see the world through his eyes. Very cool.

Ren
learninginfreedom.com






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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Debra Rossing

>what do our kids do with these errors....

By and large, they forgive us and over time come to trust that we have
indeed changed our ways. And, sometimes, they'll call us on it if we
start to slip back into old habits. And we can apologize if something
comes up "Mommy, how come you used to...?" "Well, at the time, that was
what I knew to do but I've learned some different things since then. I'm
sorry for doing that..." type conversation.

Deb


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