neha

Hi fellow unschoolers,

My kids (Nishay,ds7 & Neer,ds1) are visiting my sister who just had a baby boy (Nov 11) in Pittsburgh. We were wondering if there are other unschoolers (or funschoolers, as we call ourselves), in the area that would like to get together for thanksgiving (&/or before/after).

Let me know & we can make further plans.....

hope to meet some cool folks (aka unschoolers) in the area!
neha


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Donna Vanderlip

Just looking for a little boost of encouragement with
the whole process towards unschooling. Its bee almost
6 months now. Sometimes everything seems to be going
along just fine......my husband is home with Kora and
Lukas all day and I go out to work. We seem to be
moving along in our adjustment from schooling lives to
the unschooling life but then everything seems to
crumble. My husband feels so overwhelmed with the
whole thing some days. Feels like he keeps offering
activities to do and is met often with what he
interprets as a lack of interest. Last night he said
he was not sure if this is working and maybe he isn't
cut out to be an unschooling dad. I suggested
connecting to other dads who unschool. So, I thought
I would check to see if anyone has some contacts for
him. We are still committed but feel a little lost at
the moment.....

Thanks Donna and Brian


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[email protected]

In a message dated 11/15/2007 9:07:16 A.M. Eastern Standard Time,
[email protected] writes:

Last night he said
he was not sure if this is working and maybe he isn't
cut out to be an unschooling dad. I suggested
connecting to other dads who unschool. So, I thought
I would check to see if anyone has some contacts for
him. We are still committed but feel a little lost at
the moment.....<<<<<<<<<

Or moms.....see if he would subscribe to this list. It is geared toward the
new unschooler, have him bring his questions here and just sit and relax and
read and talk with the group here. Instead of worrying about the kids not
participating in the activities he is offering he could be reading here, or
talking with the kids to see what they are interested in and want to do.

I think there are a couple of guys on the list, at least there used to
be....I think I have the right list in my head, LOL. Does he have any connections
locally. I know in places it is hard to find a group that is open to
unschoolers, but it can be done...Even connecting with one other unschooling family
can be a big help.




Pam G

Our Blogs:
_http://gentlegull.blogspot.com/_ (http://gentlegull.blogspot.com/)
_http://ourgreenerpastures.blogspot.com/_
(http://ourgreenerpastures.blogspot.com/)




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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Debra Rossing

Hubby is the at home parent. One suggestion would be rather than him
suggesting is for him to (a) get involved in what the kids are doing
(even if it's just sitting and reading a magazine and admiring artworks
when presented with them) (b) get his own life - what does he love to
do? Woodworking? Carpentry? Gardening? Oil painting? My hubby plays
videogames (with or without DS, who is 9), cooks awesome meals (most
everything we eat is from scratch and he's looking into canning foods
next year and grinding our own flour and nut butters), took a community
college class in computer game design just for fun, and is currently
very into making wallets and tote bags and such from duct tape (with an
eye toward selling the items he makes at a town craft fair next July
4th). He and DS also have spent time exploring local nature trails over
the last 6 months or so. Sometimes they just pack a lunch and go watch
airplanes at the major airport 25 minutes from here. BUT the key thing
is to just go with the flow, not take "no thanks" personally but just as
a statement of fact - right now, that is not what they want to do. What
does he do to refill his own tank?

Also, how does he feel about being the at home dad? Is this something he
chose? Or, is it something that is a 'default' because he got laid off?
KWIM? If it's a default thing, he may still be dealing with issues
related to self image - particularly if he grew up with "Dad works, Mom
stays home, the man is the breadwinner" type paradigm. We're fortunate
in that DH's growing up years developed a very pragmatic streak in him -
whatever works, works.

Y'all can contact me offline and I'll see if DH wants to hook up via
email. Also, there is a dad's group around but I'm not sure how active
it is.

Deb

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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

[email protected]

-----Original Message-----
From: Donna Vanderlip <donnavanderlip@...>

Just looking for a little boost of encouragement with
the whole process towards unschooling. Its bee almost
6 months now. Sometimes everything seems to be going
along just fine......my husband is home with Kora and
Lukas all day and I go out to work. We seem to be
moving along in our adjustment from schooling lives to
the unschooling life but then everything seems to
crumble. My husband feels so overwhelmed with the
whole thing some days. Feels like he keeps offering
activities to do and is met often with what he
interprets as a lack of interest.

-=-=-=-=-

What kinds of things is he offereing? How old are the kids?

-=-=-=-=-

Last night he said
he was not sure if this is working and maybe he isn't
cut out to be an unschooling dad. I suggested
connecting to other dads who unschool. So, I thought
I would check to see if anyone has some contacts for
him. We are still committed but feel a little lost at
the moment.....

-=-=-=-=-

Has he joined the two e-lists for dads?

Ben runs SSUDs (Secret Society of Unschooling Dads)
[email protected]

and then there's [email protected]

Where do you live? I bet there's a family near you that you could
connect with. It makes it so much easier when you can see it in action,
like at a conference--or in someone's back yard! <G>


~Kelly

Kelly Lovejoy
Conference Coordinator
Live and Learn Unschooling Conference
http://www.LiveandLearnConference.org


________________________________________________________________________
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http://mail.aol.com

Cameron Parham

"Looking for..encouragement with process towards unschooling...it's been almost 6 months now."
This caught my eye because I noted some similar feelings starting at about 6 months, and many still continue here at our 8-month mark. Some things seem great and some things seems pretty worrisome. Is this a typical timeframe for these worries? Not that I am tempted to quit! Cameron




[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

[email protected]

-----Original Message-----
From: Cameron Parham <acsp2205@...>

"Looking for..encouragement with process towards unschooling...it's
been almost
6 months now."
This caught my eye because I noted some similar feelings starting at
about 6
months, and many still continue here at our 8-month mark. Some things
seem great
and some things seems pretty worrisome. Is this a typical timeframe
for these
worries? Not that I am tempted to quit! Cameron


-=-=-=-=-

It's been a really, really long time, and I can't remember.

I hope some of you are documenting your own progress---in a blog or
journal or whatever---so that others can benefit from your journey! <G>
I wish I had!

Ren's trip to unschooling was documented pretty well on the old
unschooling.com boards.

I remember being GLUED to my computer for a while---reading
*constantly* at .com. I remember being a bit worried when all Cameron
would do was watch TV, talk on the phone, IM friends, eat, and sleep.
He also refused to do anything fun with me and his brother. And I
remember it got worse (a LOT worse) before it got better. But I'm
really off on the timing. I'm sorry.

Our deschooling lasted about 18 months. I could have shortened it if I
had quit worrying and nagging him so much. Yeah---it maybe could have
been at the 6-8 month range that I panicked. THings just didn't seem to
be getting better. He had no interests, and he thought he was stupid.
Ben wanted him to be doing *something* recordable.

What I remember was that Ben finally read Mary Griffith's _The
Unschooling Handboook_ while he was out of town one week. He called me
and said that *he* understood unschooling and that I should quit trying
to get Cam to *do* anything. I was only asking him to produce something
"schoolish" to satisfy Ben. Ben's "announcement" released me from
having to have "proof" of any kind. I was relieved. I think *that* was
the turning point. I didn't feel the pressure, and maybe Cam felt
that---I don't know. But all the pieces seemed to fall into place right
after that.

Certainly could have been something else! <BG> But looking back, I
think that Ben somehow gave me "permission" to stop worrying. Something
in Mary's book clicked with him, and I suddenly started seeing
everything as "educational."

I really wish I could remember the timeline!


~Kelly

Kelly Lovejoy
Conference Coordinator
Live and Learn Unschooling Conference
http://www.LiveandLearnConference.org


________________________________________________________________________
Email and AIM finally together. You've gotta check out free AOL Mail! -
http://mail.aol.com

carenkh

I just saw The Business of Being Born, the film produced by Ricki Lake
about the birth industry and midwifery,
(http://thebusinessofbeingborn.com/) so I've been thinking a lot about
my own two homebirths. I remember one empowering thing I learned about
birth... transition is the most difficult time, the time when most
moms want to give up, want to give in and have an epidural, feel like
there's NO WAY they can do this. But transition means you're almost at
the end! You're about to do this miraculous thing called giving birth,
and a whole new life is about to become visible to you. So, if you
have support around you, draw upon it, and commit to continue on until
you're through it. I've learned to apply that thought to so many areas
of my life! Many, many times I'm learning something or growing in some
way, and I'll reach a point where I think There's NO WAY I can do
this! This is hard! and I'll think I'm against a wall... then I
remember... ah, transition! And I'll draw upon the support around me,
and commit to continuing on until ah-ha! A whole new aspect of life,
visible before me.

Maybe 6-8 months is a typical transition time for deschooling
families? I honestly don't remember, either. BUT, I know if you commit
to continue, commit to honor your child's path, even if it looks
*nothing* like you thought it would, you'll break through, and there
it will be, this whole new life, right in front of you.


peace,
Caren

Karen Buxcel

Caren
What a beautiful analogy! You are right on, too! It's usually when things
seem to be most painful that we are at the edge of a breakthrough, with
opportunity to forge ahead and experience amazing growth.

Thanks so much, Caren!

Karen
(who's also a homebirth mama of 2!)

On Nov 20, 2007 8:46 AM, carenkh <carenkh@...> wrote:

> I just saw The Business of Being Born, the film produced by Ricki Lake
> about the birth industry and midwifery,
> (http://thebusinessofbeingborn.com/) so I've been thinking a lot about
> my own two homebirths. I remember one empowering thing I learned about
> birth... transition is the most difficult time, the time when most
> moms want to give up, want to give in and have an epidural, feel like
> there's NO WAY they can do this. But transition means you're almost at
> the end! You're about to do this miraculous thing called giving birth,
> and a whole new life is about to become visible to you. So, if you
> have support around you, draw upon it, and commit to continue on until
> you're through it. I've learned to apply that thought to so many areas
> of my life! Many, many times I'm learning something or growing in some
> way, and I'll reach a point where I think There's NO WAY I can do
> this! This is hard! and I'll think I'm against a wall... then I
> remember... ah, transition! And I'll draw upon the support around me,
> and commit to continuing on until ah-ha! A whole new aspect of life,
> visible before me.
>
> Maybe 6-8 months is a typical transition time for deschooling
> families? I honestly don't remember, either. BUT, I know if you commit
> to continue, commit to honor your child's path, even if it looks
> *nothing* like you thought it would, you'll break through, and there
> it will be, this whole new life, right in front of you.
>
> peace,
> Caren
>
>
>



--
"When the power of love overcomes the love of power, the world will know
peace."
Jimi Hendrix


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

carenkh

I was *so* surprised in the movie, when they stated the number of
homebirths in the US - less than 1%! Closer to half of a percent. When
I heard that, I thought... that doesn't seem right. A lot of my
friends had homebirths... *then* I remembered I was probably a *bit*
out of the mainstream. lol

--- In [email protected], "Karen Buxcel"
<thewildtribe@...> wrote:

> Karen
> (who's also a homebirth mama of 2!)

Donna Vanderlip

Wow all the input and encouragement is so wonderful. I have been down with a flu bug these last few days so I am just logging on again reading some wonderful messages. To answer some questions. Brian is a writer and has always been at home. He did the at home dad thing when the kids were small then enjoyed some writing time when they started school now he finds he is at home again with the kids and is trying to figure out how to write and hasn't figured it out yet. Kora is 10 and Lukas is 9. I read about Cameron and his experience has echoed our 6 month experience. Sort of feeling like we are failing at unschooling.....the old schooling language I know......but it is a real feeling. It helps to know that other parents have felt the same worries....where it seems kids have no interests, they stay away from so many activities they used to do. Brian offers a number of ways to engage in learning but they turn the other way. However, since I wrote about our
discouragement, we have let go a little more and see some signs of good things. Mostly, I see happy, calm and thoughtful children emerging. When schooled friends come over they are able to engage in lots of creative play while their friends decompress from their day by running wild and excluding each other. Kora and Lukas seem so far from this now. I also hear such independence from them...stating clearly what they want to do and what they don't want to do. I see them expressing feelings more openly. Perhaps all the work they are doing and we are doing is more the inner work the things we can't see. I better stop here...but thanks for responses and encouragement.

Donna and Brian


kbcdlovejo@... wrote:

-----Original Message-----
From: Cameron Parham <acsp2205@...>

"Looking for..encouragement with process towards unschooling...it's
been almost
6 months now."
This caught my eye because I noted some similar feelings starting at
about 6
months, and many still continue here at our 8-month mark. Some things
seem great
and some things seems pretty worrisome. Is this a typical timeframe
for these
worries? Not that I am tempted to quit! Cameron

-=-=-=-=-

It's been a really, really long time, and I can't remember.

I hope some of you are documenting your own progress---in a blog or
journal or whatever---so that others can benefit from your journey! <G>
I wish I had!

Ren's trip to unschooling was documented pretty well on the old
unschooling.com boards.

I remember being GLUED to my computer for a while---reading
*constantly* at .com. I remember being a bit worried when all Cameron
would do was watch TV, talk on the phone, IM friends, eat, and sleep.
He also refused to do anything fun with me and his brother. And I
remember it got worse (a LOT worse) before it got better. But I'm
really off on the timing. I'm sorry.

Our deschooling lasted about 18 months. I could have shortened it if I
had quit worrying and nagging him so much. Yeah---it maybe could have
been at the 6-8 month range that I panicked. THings just didn't seem to
be getting better. He had no interests, and he thought he was stupid.
Ben wanted him to be doing *something* recordable.

What I remember was that Ben finally read Mary Griffith's _The
Unschooling Handboook_ while he was out of town one week. He called me
and said that *he* understood unschooling and that I should quit trying
to get Cam to *do* anything. I was only asking him to produce something
"schoolish" to satisfy Ben. Ben's "announcement" released me from
having to have "proof" of any kind. I was relieved. I think *that* was
the turning point. I didn't feel the pressure, and maybe Cam felt
that---I don't know. But all the pieces seemed to fall into place right
after that.

Certainly could have been something else! <BG> But looking back, I
think that Ben somehow gave me "permission" to stop worrying. Something
in Mary's book clicked with him, and I suddenly started seeing
everything as "educational."

I really wish I could remember the timeline!

~Kelly

Kelly Lovejoy
Conference Coordinator
Live and Learn Unschooling Conference
http://www.LiveandLearnConference.org

__________________________________________________________
Email and AIM finally together. You've gotta check out free AOL Mail! -
http://mail.aol.com





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