finnymom

I'm needing some guidance around Piano. We take lessons at the
premier Music school in town. They give us a great scholarship for
lessons. They expect "full participation" from their scholarship
families. Whatever than means. I feel the need to ride my 11 year
old about practicing. (Old training, and bad habit). He wants to
practice, but when he finally gets around to it, it is either naptime
for the baby or bedtime. If I encourage, make, drag, nag him to
practice in the am, he gets it in. The proprioceptive input of the
fingers on the keys is really centering and grounding for him, too.
For him, it is mellowing, like exercise is for me. If he doesn't do
it in the am, he misses out, and he does want to grow as a pianist.
Our house is small, and the baby doesn't like to lose sleep. In fact,
when it gets dark, he drags me upstairs and says, "It's dark mama,
it's time to go to bed."

So, there is ds, age 11, who missed piano again.

Your thoughts?

Jeanne

Ren Allen

~~
So, there is ds, age 11, who missed piano again.

Your thoughts?~~

Do you want a great pianist or someone that enjoys music? Because if
your goal is to have a kid that loves to explore music and enjoy
playing with it, then nagging, prodding or cajoling is really ruining
the entire point.

Stop sucking the joy out of his experience. It will just make him hate
piano.

Ren
learninginfreedom.com

Manisha Kher

I'll let someone else to address the practice issue,
but I just wanted to point out that your baby may very
well sleep thru his brother's piano playing.

Was it his idea to take lessons at this school?
Manisha

--- finnymom <bigmonstermama@...> wrote:

> I'm needing some guidance around Piano. We take
> lessons at the
> premier Music school in town. They give us a great
> scholarship for
> lessons. They expect "full participation" from their
> scholarship
> families. Whatever than means. I feel the need to
> ride my 11 year
> old about practicing. (Old training, and bad habit).
> He wants to
> practice, but when he finally gets around to it, it
> is either naptime
> for the baby or bedtime. If I encourage, make,
> drag, nag him to
> practice in the am, he gets it in. The
> proprioceptive input of the
> fingers on the keys is really centering and
> grounding for him, too.
> For him, it is mellowing, like exercise is for me.
> If he doesn't do
> it in the am, he misses out, and he does want to
> grow as a pianist.
> Our house is small, and the baby doesn't like to
> lose sleep. In fact,
> when it gets dark, he drags me upstairs and says,
> "It's dark mama,
> it's time to go to bed."
>
> So, there is ds, age 11, who missed piano again.
>
> Your thoughts?
>
> Jeanne
>
>
>
>
> Yahoo! Groups Links
>
> (Yahoo! ID required)
>
>
mailto:[email protected]
>
>
>




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Kelly Weyd

Is there somewhere else he could practice his piano that would be at a more convenient time for him? Like at a friends house, or a neighbor that has a piano. Maybe purchasing him a keyboard and letting him take it to a friends or neighbors to practice might be a solution too. I know I am not a morning person, and practicing in the morning would not work for me either.
Kelly

finnymom <bigmonstermama@...> wrote:
I'm needing some guidance around Piano. We take lessons at the
premier Music school in town. They give us a great scholarship for
lessons. They expect "full participation" from their scholarship
families. Whatever than means. I feel the need to ride my 11 year
old about practicing. (Old training, and bad habit). He wants to
practice, but when he finally gets around to it, it is either naptime
for the baby or bedtime. If I encourage, make, drag, nag him to
practice in the am, he gets it in. The proprioceptive input of the
fingers on the keys is really centering and grounding for him, too.
For him, it is mellowing, like exercise is for me. If he doesn't do
it in the am, he misses out, and he does want to grow as a pianist.
Our house is small, and the baby doesn't like to lose sleep. In fact,
when it gets dark, he drags me upstairs and says, "It's dark mama,
it's time to go to bed."

So, there is ds, age 11, who missed piano again.

Your thoughts?

Jeanne






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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Mara

Hi Jeanne,
our piano, and I think most pianos, have a quiet pedal
thing so that someone could play it at any time they
like (my 16 y.o. likes it late at night sometimes).
Also if he feels strongly that he wants to play in the
pm why not get him a keyboard with headphones for his
room? Certainly, don't ever make him.Maye he needs a
different teacher that is more mellow, i.e. not making
him do stuff he doesn't like. I liked playing piano on
my own terms as a child. I never practiced what I was
supposed to and only what I liked to play. The lessons
were still valuable and I was often amazed that the
teacher would say I had gotten better anyways - at
some point I switched to saxophone. If he wants to
grow as a pianist talk about how HE wants to do it.
Does he like being reminded? If yes, do it, if no,
then don't. Anything else is useless -
All the best,
Mara

--- finnymom <bigmonstermama@...> wrote:

> I'm needing some guidance around Piano. We take
> lessons at the
> premier Music school in town. They give us a great
> scholarship for
> lessons. They expect "full participation" from their
> scholarship
> families. Whatever than means. I feel the need to
> ride my 11 year
> old about practicing. (Old training, and bad habit).
> He wants to
> practice, but when he finally gets around to it, it
> is either naptime
> for the baby or bedtime. If I encourage, make,
> drag, nag him to
> practice in the am, he gets it in. The
> proprioceptive input of the
> fingers on the keys is really centering and
> grounding for him, too.
> For him, it is mellowing, like exercise is for me.
> If he doesn't do
> it in the am, he misses out, and he does want to
> grow as a pianist.
> Our house is small, and the baby doesn't like to
> lose sleep. In fact,
> when it gets dark, he drags me upstairs and says,
> "It's dark mama,
> it's time to go to bed."
>
> So, there is ds, age 11, who missed piano again.
>
> Your thoughts?
>
> Jeanne
>
>




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wisdomalways5

Ask him if he would rather not take lessons but either "play" for
fun or a book to teach himself-

--- In [email protected], "finnymom"
<bigmonstermama@...> wrote:
>
> I'm needing some guidance around Piano. We take lessons at the
> premier Music school in town. They give us a great scholarship for
> lessons. They expect "full participation" from their scholarship
> families. Whatever than means. I feel the need to ride my 11 year
> old about practicing. (Old training, and bad habit). He wants to
> practice, but when he finally gets around to it, it is either
naptime
> for the baby or bedtime. If I encourage, make, drag, nag him to
> practice in the am, he gets it in. The proprioceptive input of the
> fingers on the keys is really centering and grounding for him,
too.
> For him, it is mellowing, like exercise is for me. If he doesn't
do
> it in the am, he misses out, and he does want to grow as a
pianist.
> Our house is small, and the baby doesn't like to lose sleep. In
fact,
> when it gets dark, he drags me upstairs and says, "It's dark mama,
> it's time to go to bed."
>
> So, there is ds, age 11, who missed piano again.
>
> Your thoughts?
>
> Jeanne
>

finnymom

-Yes it was his idea to go to this school. We can ride bikes to
lessons, and his other teacher moved up north.
And, he seems to really like his teacher, but he has started a new
book, and there isn't much to practice yet.
That might be it. He might be bored, again.

Our baby doesn't sleep through anything. He crabs about the noise.
Big brother was exactly the same way.
Nursed to sleep. Always. Had to have everything quiet. Nobody makes
a noise.

I can sleep through anything. Not them.

I don't think I'm sucking the joy out of his experience. I'll pay
attention to that, but those words seem so harsh. We are trying
(together)to find a reminder system that works for him. Does trying to
find a reminder system mean that I'm sucking the joy out? He thanks
me for reminding him, when he finally does it, and he gets bummed out
when he misses it.

He is a suzuki kid, and loves the pure sound of a piano. So, he isn't
interested in a keyboard. ALthough he wants to start a band in the
basement, so I'm sure that's down the road. He has taken to reading
books while he practices. That gets him to the piano. Movie score. I
love that.

Some great ideas. Thank you.

Jeanne

Meredith

--- In [email protected], "finnymom"
<bigmonstermama@...> wrote:
>If I encourage, make, drag, nag him to
> practice in the am, he gets it in.

What kinds of things are keeping him *away* from the piano - does he
need some company? Would it help to set an alarm? Would it be more fun
for him to move back and forth from the piano to other things - tv,
maybe, or a game? Would it help if you set a snack or drink on a little
table next to the piano?

If he's wanting to play piano and not getting to do it *enough* then
look for ways to make the piano more accessible to him.

---Meredith (Mo 6, Ray 14)

hbmccarty

Hi Jeanne-

Our kids both take music lessons. We tried to find very relaxed teachers
for them at least to begin with. For a couple of years we did a trade
with an unschooling dad for bass lessons for my son. He is also a
performing musician and a very amazing man who was really great at
helping my son find interesting but not overwhelmingly difficult music
and taught him a lot about music theory, spiritual aspects, playing in
groups, and taking care of his body. This was affordable(just cost my
husband's time) and he was very understanding about ebbs and flows of
wanting to play and take breaks.

When my daughter starting taking lessons this year we weren't quite as
lucky, but I explained upfront, that she, not I, would be deciding about
how much to play and when before she started. So far it works. She plays
different amounts, when she chooses, and is enjoying the lessons, too.

Sometimes it has been so hard to get involved appropriately. I want to
say things but stop myself. My son has recently switched teachers- we
are now paying a lot for lessons and the teacher expects much more. He
teaches college mainly, and would not want to invest time in my son if
he weren't doing the practicing. It is a couple of hours a day of
scales, transcription, and playing pieces, very specific on technique
and he is learning a lot here too, but it is such a different
experience. He is invited to attend some of the college classes and has
been introduced to a whole new world. He also plays with an ensemble and
other groups and so wants to be prepared for these as well.

My son asks for help with remembering to practice. He does tend to
naturally also, like your son, want to start playing late in the day
when everyone else wants to sleep- our house is tiny, and he doesn't
really want to play in the mud room or the garage. We'd love to build
him a sound proof room and may do that soon. It works to remind him
after dinner to begin playing or to help him plan out his practicing
during the day. He really wants to improve, and really wants to please
this teacher, as he knows the teacher will not want to continue giving
him lessons if he weren't putting his all into it . This is our son's
choice, and he has difficulty with it at times. It is a lot of time, and
he likes a lot of other things as well. I am his partner in figuring out
how he uses his time, at his request. If he begins to seem annoyed with
the reminders I pull back. Then he usually will ask for help again soon.
He leaves me notes asking for reminders, and every day we discuss the
plan for fitting all the fun things he wants to do in.
He is very enthusiastic about playing soccer and magic the gathering as
well, and makes lots of plans with friends.

What has been hard is that often people are telling us how great he is
and what potential he has, but we still know and must strive to remember
always that it HAS to be about him. All these other people being
involved and encouraging is necessary, as we don't have the ability to
help him ourselves, but it is confusing at times to motivation. He likes
performing, and this is about pleasing other as well as yourself.
Sometimes he is confused, I think about why he is doing this, and needs
to take a break to discover his own enjoyment of music again.

I have to be very mindful through all this that is about my son, not
about any of these other people and their expectations and the nyssma
scores and all that.

If the situation isn't the right one for your son, then trying to find
another one or taking a break might help. Both my kids have played
without lessons for periods which was a very good thing also.

Heather

finnymom wrote:
>
> I'm needing some guidance around Piano. We take lessons at the
> premier Music school in town. They give us a great scholarship for
> lessons. They expect "full participation" from their scholarship
> families. Whatever than means. I feel the need to ride my 11 year
> old about practicing. (Old training, and bad habit). He wants to
> practice, but when he finally gets around to it, it is either naptime
> for the baby or bedtime. If I encourage, make, drag, nag him to
> practice in the am, he gets it in. The proprioceptive input of the
> fingers on the keys is really centering and grounding for him, too.
> For him, it is mellowing, like exercise is for me. If he doesn't do
> it in the am, he misses out, and he does want to grow as a pianist.
> Our house is small, and the baby doesn't like to lose sleep. In fact,
> when it gets dark, he drags me upstairs and says, "It's dark mama,
> it's time to go to bed."
>
> So, there is ds, age 11, who missed piano again.
>
> Your thoughts?
>
> Jeanne
>
>
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