lspswr

I need some help thinking this through! My mind is stuck and
struggling to see clearly the situation I created with my child. I
am hoping that maybe you can see some creative ways to find peace.

DS is 7 and an only. We have been unschooling for about a year and
it has improved so many things in our lives it's amazing! We have a
fairly small and very open single story house; there are not a lot of
options for finding private or personal space.

DS loves Legos and very literally is taking over the entire house.
There are Lego creations in every room of our house except the
laundry room (which is actually just a hallway). He has a fantastic
imagination and creates huge complexes of interrelated elements.
It's quite impressive and I love what he does! BUT, there are so
many of them that they are no longer enjoyable to us, the parents.
Some of these creations have been in their current location for
almost a year. DS does not want to disassemble what he has made,
even though we have taken lots of pictures of them and created a
picture file of which he is very proud.

DS wants more Legos. I created a bigger problem by trying to
manipulate with a reward (which I get now, but not originally), I
told DS that I would buy his desired Lego set for him IF he would
remove all his Legos from the master bedroom, bathroom, office,
kitchen, floors, and from the hallways. This leaves Legos in the
living room, dining room, his room, and part of the family room,
still a very considerable area in our small house. DS is very angry
that we are "trying to make" him take apart his creations. He
correctly sees my offer as manipulative and self serving. He has the
money to buy the set for himself, but that does not resolve the issue
of space. I screwed up when I tried to make reclaiming my own space
a reward situation. I need better ideas on how to respectfully and
honorably work this through.

I keep trying to think about what I would say or do if it was my DH's
stuff that was taking over the house -- I don't think I would say or
do it differently, except that DH would not need me to help him "get"
the things (driving). It's a problem regardless of whose stuff it
is.

Bring on the ideas!!

Linda

Julie

Have you thought of building a set of shelves specifically to display
his works? This would help to relocate them in a couple of areas instead
of all around the house, would showcase his work, and even help to feel
like he has a gallery of sorts. This would probably make it seem like he
was getting something rather than losing it. Is your hubby good with
tools/woodworking? If so maybe he could get help from your son in
designing and building the shelves.

As an artist myself, having a place to display my art is highly
satisfying and rewarding. Maybe having the same kind of display would
validate your son's artistry as well!

Cheers,
Julie


> I need some help thinking this through! My mind is stuck and
> struggling to see clearly the situation I created with my child. I
> am hoping that maybe you can see some creative ways to find peace.

Julie

I took my son out of PS this week and expected a long time of
deschooling as he is 11 years old (12 in a week) and has had a LOT of
emotional trauma in school. His first day officially out of school, I
got a knock on the door while he was playing outside. He came bursting
in saying something pretty much incomprehensible about a woman being
outside. He looked terrified.

I opened the door, and a well dressed woman was standing on my front
porch and she said "I know boys will be boys, but your son threw a soda
can out in the street and nearly hit my car, I wanted to let someone
know, because he could have seriously hurt someone." Looking in the
street I saw at least five soda cans lying there. I thanked the woman
for letting me know, then promptly asked Caleb what he was doing. He
said he wanted to see what would happen to a full can of Dr. Topper (a
generic brand of Dr. Pepper like soda) when it exploded. Rather than
getting upset, I decided to make a point about learning things. I did
make him help me pick up the cans and put them in the recycle bin, then
took him inside and sat him down to explain what could have been the
consequences of his actions (causing a serious accident, us getting
sued, possibly losing the house, having charges filed etc.). I told him
I wasn't going to do anything at that time, but now that he knew what
could have happened due to his "experiment", I expected him to know that
it was wrong and not to do it again.

It took me the evening thinking about it, but the next morning I went in
his room, and told him I wanted to make a deal with him. I said I
guaranteed that I would not get upset at any time with him if he wanted
to do something just to see what it would do, if he would come to me
first so I could make sure it is done safely, and without putting
anyone, or anyone's property in danger. To make my point, I asked him
what it was about seeing soda cans explode that interested him. He said
he just wanted to see what would happen. Then he got excited at the
prospect of doing this without the possibility of getting in trouble, so
he said he would also like to see what happened when you put Mentos in Coke.

That day, we walked down to the gas station down the street, bought a 2
liter of diet Coke, and a pack of Mentos, and came back home. We also
bought a 12 pack of Dr. Toppers as well. I also went in and got a pack
of baking soda and some vinegar, and as many small empty plastic
drinking bottles as I could find. My daughter (25) got involved too, and
we all went out back and had a wonderful time trying out different
things with Mento's, Coke, vinegar, baking soda and topped it all off by
trying to see the best way of making Dr. Topper's explode! Messy but
really good fun!

We now have plans to make a trebuchet to fling highly shaken cans of
soda, pumpkins, tomatoes and whatever we can find, and I have a very
happy and more open young man tickled about the whole concept of
unschooling!

Cheers,
Julie

Meredith

--- In [email protected], Julie <jsweevil2@...>
wrote:
>> As an artist myself, having a place to display my art is highly
> satisfying and rewarding. Maybe having the same kind of display
would
> validate your son's artistry as well!

Yes, I think a part of the conceptual problem is that the "artwork"
is made out of parts that are designed to come apart easily. It
might help mom and dad to think about the creations in the same way
they would woodcarvings - something that can't really be
disassembled and the parts reused.

Imagine if your home were filled with hand-carved sculptures and you
told your child you wouldn't buy any more wood unless he let you use
some of the sculptures for firewood. Doesn't sound very loving, does
it?

I can certainly relate to the frustration of a home filled with
artwork in various states of completion. My dd(6) loves to create
all sorts of objects out of plain white paper - I sometimes struggle
to tell her scrap from her finished creations in my house full of
paper. I try to keep the "bits" picked up as much as possible, and
that helps *me* have places to walk and sit that aren't covered.

---Meredith (Mo 6, Ray 14)

carenkh

I love the idea of shelves. I have quite a few djembes and other hand
drums, and up to now, they've been grouped together against one wall
of the living room. It takes up a lot of floor space! Just the other
day, I was envisioning a set of shelves... they'd create a whole new
"wall" of shelves, each opening in the shelves designed for a specific
drum. So, instead of just straight shelves going across, it would be
more like stacked cubes, each cube just large enough to contain the
drum it held, making a pattern on the wall. Cool, huh?

I bet some of those Lego creations are kinda wide, so that might not
be the optimum solution for those, but for some of the ones that
aren't, it might work. And it would look great!

Now I'm off to google "making shelves"....

peace,
Caren

wisdomalways5

Could you create a shelf system that covers the walls in his bedroom
where they can all be placed? one wall could hold 5 or 6 shelfs


--- In [email protected], "lspswr" <lspswr@...>
wrote:
>
> I need some help thinking this through! My mind is stuck and
> struggling to see clearly the situation I created with my child.
I
> am hoping that maybe you can see some creative ways to find peace.
>
> DS is 7 and an only. We have been unschooling for about a year
and
> it has improved so many things in our lives it's amazing! We have
a
> fairly small and very open single story house; there are not a lot
of
> options for finding private or personal space.
>
> DS loves Legos and very literally is taking over the entire
house.
> There are Lego creations in every room of our house except the
> laundry room (which is actually just a hallway). He has a
fantastic
> imagination and creates huge complexes of interrelated elements.
> It's quite impressive and I love what he does! BUT, there are so
> many of them that they are no longer enjoyable to us, the
parents.
> Some of these creations have been in their current location for
> almost a year. DS does not want to disassemble what he has made,
> even though we have taken lots of pictures of them and created a
> picture file of which he is very proud.
>
> DS wants more Legos. I created a bigger problem by trying to
> manipulate with a reward (which I get now, but not originally), I
> told DS that I would buy his desired Lego set for him IF he would
> remove all his Legos from the master bedroom, bathroom, office,
> kitchen, floors, and from the hallways. This leaves Legos in the
> living room, dining room, his room, and part of the family room,
> still a very considerable area in our small house. DS is very
angry
> that we are "trying to make" him take apart his creations. He
> correctly sees my offer as manipulative and self serving. He has
the
> money to buy the set for himself, but that does not resolve the
issue
> of space. I screwed up when I tried to make reclaiming my own
space
> a reward situation. I need better ideas on how to respectfully
and
> honorably work this through.
>
> I keep trying to think about what I would say or do if it was my
DH's
> stuff that was taking over the house -- I don't think I would say
or
> do it differently, except that DH would not need me to help
him "get"
> the things (driving). It's a problem regardless of whose stuff it
> is.
>
> Bring on the ideas!!
>
> Linda
>

Nicole Willoughby

Im not sure how big these creations are so it may not be practical ......

It seems he wants to keep these creations for good. What would he think of using something like puzzle glue or laquer to seal them together then hanging them from the ceiling in his room?


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lspswr

> Yes, I think a part of the conceptual problem is that the "artwork"
> is made out of parts that are designed to come apart easily. It
> might help mom and dad to think about the creations in the same way
> they would woodcarvings - something that can't really be
> disassembled and the parts reused.
>
> Imagine if your home were filled with hand-carved sculptures and
you
> told your child you wouldn't buy any more wood unless he let you
use
> some of the sculptures for firewood. Doesn't sound very loving,
does
> it?

I really liked the idea of "artwork" that came up here and have to
admit that I did not view these creations as "art" but as elaborate
and awesome temporary play systems. I need to spend some more time
with that idea. The things he makes are complexes of cities and
planets, huge metroplexes that are quite involved. There is not a
way to display them other than in their current locations because
they are so big and complex. We in fact had discussed adding on to
the house to create a "work room" of sorts. DS liked the idea as one
to gain more building space, but strongly opposed the thought of
moving any of his current creations.

I need to sit with your sculpture/wood idea for a while. There has
to be a more creative idea as to what to do with them!

Thanks for your input!
Linda

[email protected]

In a message dated 9/30/2007 7:28:28 A.M. Pacific Daylight Time,
lspswr@... writes:

There has
to be a more creative idea as to what to do with them!


__________________________________________________

one thing, which may help in the long run, is to take pictures of these
items, enlarge and frame them, hang them up - take them from all angels too, so
he can choose (if he likes this idea) which way - or all ways! - he wants to
show the work off. he may not be ready to take them apart, but if/when he is,
his work is still able to be displayed and won't be lost at all. Still
thinking...(oh, a video too! and ya'll can play the tape or dvd whenever the mood
strikes..maybe both ideas...maybe none, lol, or maybe them AND more!)

Karen PS
(with all we Karens here, I think we do need to identify ourselves better I
guess, huh? :) )



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Shannon Rizzo

I did a quick search for displaying Legos - here is a thread of Lego
enthusiasts discussing how they display their creations:
HYPERLINK
"http://www.minifigcustomizationnetwork.com/forum/3423"http://www.minifigcus
tomizationnetwork.com/forum/3423

We have many large art creations in our house too. I put some display
shelves on various walls (you know the kind that are about 6" deep and just
bracket onto the wall). We displayed many on bookshelves and a big wooden
trunk in our dining room. We have art in the yard too (fairy houses, snail
houses including some made of Legos).

You could attach fishing line to the creations and "fly" some from the
ceiling. I imagine several of these flying from his bedroom ceiling would
be very exciting. You could get some of those glow in the dark moons and
stars and it might really seem as if there are spaceships flying around at
night.

We also have copious amounts of paper art. Some are in sheet protectors in
a binder for each kid, some are framed and on the wall (we get framed prints
from thrift stores, remove the prints and reuse the frames). One idea I saw
in Family Fun years ago was to paint the inside of the garage door so the
panels were like picture frames, and mount the art securely in each "panel."
We used our garage for woodworking and other large projects - have an art
and workshop table in there, so that would have been a nice idea for us. (We
just moved and are in a rental temporarily so it would be something we
create when we arrive at a permanent house.)

Shannon


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