Vanessa

Hi,

I have a 9 year old daughter that has a bad time with weather--mainly
thunder and lightening. It has gotten so bad, that she makes herself
physically ill. Every day, she continually asks me - no thunder, no
lightening momma?. I keep telling her that it's only supposed to rain,
but it's getting really tough to deal with. My son we through this,
but is now over it. I am trying really hard to help her through this,
but sometimes it's hard to be patient. If anyone has any ideas or
suggestions, I would really apreciate it. It is getting harder to deal
with, and I refuse to keep the curtains closed.

I love my daughter very much, and am just looking for ideas on how to
help her, and save my sanity.

Thanks in advance.

Vanessa

Joanne

My oldest daughter (11 yrs. old) is just like your nine year old.
She's got other fears but for some reason, the weather is the
biggest one. And now that we're living in Florida...well, it's kind
of hard to get away from the hurricanes and storms.

For one, we never listen to the weather channel. We also, do not
talk about severe weather in front of her.

If we happen to be in the middle of a tropical storm. I remind her
to use her walkman. She'll usually sit in the bathroom (the only
room with no windows) with it on and read.

When the weather is nice, we use that time to talk about what it is
that scares her. I don't usually have any solutions for her (I can't
stop the thunder) but I validate her fears and reassure her that
I'll do what I can to keep her safe.

Another thing that helps her is empowering her. She has a flashlight
in her room for when the electricity is knocked out and we have jugs
of water out on the deck in case we need them. Knowing that we're
doing what we can to protect ourselves, gives her a sense of
security.

Over time, she has gotten over some of it. She used to be afraid of
the rain, but now she plays in it.

Oh one more thing...I let her videotape it. It keeps her mind
occupied and something about seeing it through a lens makes it less
scary for her.

Hope some of this helps!
~ Joanne ~
Add your voice ~ Unschooling Voices
http://tinyurl.com/26pt6x






--- In [email protected], "Vanessa"
<psychomom95@...> wrote:
>
> Hi,
>
> I have a 9 year old daughter that has a bad time with weather--
mainly
> thunder and lightening. It has gotten so bad, that she makes
herself
> physically ill. Every day, she continually asks me - no thunder,
no
> lightening momma?. I keep telling her that it's only supposed to
rain,
> but it's getting really tough to deal with. My son we through
this,
> but is now over it. I am trying really hard to help her through
this,
> but sometimes it's hard to be patient. If anyone has any ideas or
> suggestions, I would really apreciate it. It is getting harder to
deal
> with, and I refuse to keep the curtains closed.
>
> I love my daughter very much, and am just looking for ideas on how
to
> help her, and save my sanity.
>
> Thanks in advance.
>
> Vanessa
>

Lisa McAlister

Hi Vanessa, one of the children (a 10 yo) in our homeschool group had weather issues this severe. His mom was almost at wits end, as he didn't want to leave the house if the sky was not perfectly clear. She took him to a naturopath who determined his adrenals were not working properly and put him on some herbal supplements, along with some diet changes. It is 100% better now, not gone, but much less dramatic.
Lisa
----- Original Message -----
From: Vanessa
To: [email protected]
Sent: Thursday, April 26, 2007 7:36 AM
Subject: [unschoolingbasics] daughter with weather phobia---HELP


Hi,

I have a 9 year old daughter that has a bad time with weather--mainly
thunder and lightening. It has gotten so bad, that she makes herself
physically ill. Every day, she continually asks me - no thunder, no
lightening momma?. I keep telling her that it's only supposed to rain,
but it's getting really tough to deal with. My son we through this,
but is now over it. I am trying really hard to help her through this,
but sometimes it's hard to be patient. If anyone has any ideas or
suggestions, I would really apreciate it. It is getting harder to deal
with, and I refuse to keep the curtains closed.

I love my daughter very much, and am just looking for ideas on how to
help her, and save my sanity.

Thanks in advance.

Vanessa





[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

caradove

--- In [email protected], "Vanessa" <psychomom95@...>
wrote:
>
> Hi,
>
> I have a 9 year old daughter that has a bad time with weather--mainly
> thunder and lightening. It has gotten so bad, that she makes herself
> physically ill.
>

Hello Vanessa,

My son went through that years ago after getting caught in a flash
thunderstorm while on a "Teddy Bears Picnic" with a mother and toddler
group at the park with no shelter and no coats. He is sitting beside
me and just told me he still feels sick in his stomach with really bad
storms, seven years later.

The Bach Flower Remedies are the best thing I know for effectively
helping address fears of this kind. They are safe for children, won't
interact with medicines,and you can mix more than one together.I have
been using them with great results for 11yrs and hope to take my
professional training next year.I am excited about studying again
after 11yrs off with babies and house stuff!

I would recommend:
Mimulus: for known fears such as fear of lightning and thunder
Aspen: for fear of the unknown, not knowing when a storm may happen
Rock Rose: complete terror and panic,

or you could buy the Mimulus and Aspen separately and also Rescue
Remedy which contains Rock Rose and four other flower essences for
emergency situations. Rescue remedy is most well known but in your
daughters case Mimulus and Aspen would be best.
Good luck with this!
Cara

Schafer Vanessa

Thanks Joanne.

We don't do the weather station here either, unless
it's before she wakes up, so I can kind of see what
the day is going to be like.

We have a joke around here, about the weather man not
being right, and always use the one example of the
time they predicted 20 inches of snow, and schools
were closing all around us. It ended up that we got
nothing, and we laughed about it.

I like the idea of video taping the lightning. We'll
have to try that too. My daughter usually calls my
parents in Iowa, and that seems to provide some
comfort for her. She has a really close relationship
with them.

I am willing to try as much stuff as I can, to help
her get through this. Usually when it thunders, she
starts to cry, and sits on my lap. Sometimes that
works, sometimes it doesn't.

Thanks again, and good luck with your daughter also.
--- Joanne <billyandjoanne@...> wrote:

> My oldest daughter (11 yrs. old) is just like your
> nine year old.
> She's got other fears but for some reason, the
> weather is the
> biggest one. And now that we're living in
> Florida...well, it's kind
> of hard to get away from the hurricanes and storms.
>
> For one, we never listen to the weather channel. We
> also, do not
> talk about severe weather in front of her.
>
> If we happen to be in the middle of a tropical
> storm. I remind her
> to use her walkman. She'll usually sit in the
> bathroom (the only
> room with no windows) with it on and read.
>
> When the weather is nice, we use that time to talk
> about what it is
> that scares her. I don't usually have any solutions
> for her (I can't
> stop the thunder) but I validate her fears and
> reassure her that
> I'll do what I can to keep her safe.
>
> Another thing that helps her is empowering her. She
> has a flashlight
> in her room for when the electricity is knocked out
> and we have jugs
> of water out on the deck in case we need them.
> Knowing that we're
> doing what we can to protect ourselves, gives her a
> sense of
> security.
>
> Over time, she has gotten over some of it. She used
> to be afraid of
> the rain, but now she plays in it.
>
> Oh one more thing...I let her videotape it. It keeps
> her mind
> occupied and something about seeing it through a
> lens makes it less
> scary for her.
>
> Hope some of this helps!
> ~ Joanne ~
> Add your voice ~ Unschooling Voices
> http://tinyurl.com/26pt6x
>
>
>
>
>
>
> --- In [email protected], "Vanessa"
> <psychomom95@...> wrote:
> >
> > Hi,
> >
> > I have a 9 year old daughter that has a bad time
> with weather--
> mainly
> > thunder and lightening. It has gotten so bad,
> that she makes
> herself
> > physically ill. Every day, she continually asks
> me - no thunder,
> no
> > lightening momma?. I keep telling her that it's
> only supposed to
> rain,
> > but it's getting really tough to deal with. My
> son we through
> this,
> > but is now over it. I am trying really hard to
> help her through
> this,
> > but sometimes it's hard to be patient. If anyone
> has any ideas or
> > suggestions, I would really apreciate it. It is
> getting harder to
> deal
> > with, and I refuse to keep the curtains closed.
> >
> > I love my daughter very much, and am just looking
> for ideas on how
> to
> > help her, and save my sanity.
> >
> > Thanks in advance.
> >
> > Vanessa
> >
>
>
>


Vanessa


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Schafer Vanessa

Thanks Cara.

Where do you buy these things you were talking about?
Are these chewable, or do you take them with water?

I get kind of nervous trying new things for the
children to take. I guess maybe I'm overly cautious,
but sometimes you never know.

Thanks again!!!
--- caradove <caradove@...> wrote:

> --- In [email protected], "Vanessa"
> <psychomom95@...>
> wrote:
> >
> > Hi,
> >
> > I have a 9 year old daughter that has a bad time
> with weather--mainly
> > thunder and lightening. It has gotten so bad,
> that she makes herself
> > physically ill.
> >
>
> Hello Vanessa,
>
> My son went through that years ago after getting
> caught in a flash
> thunderstorm while on a "Teddy Bears Picnic" with a
> mother and toddler
> group at the park with no shelter and no coats. He
> is sitting beside
> me and just told me he still feels sick in his
> stomach with really bad
> storms, seven years later.
>
> The Bach Flower Remedies are the best thing I know
> for effectively
> helping address fears of this kind. They are safe
> for children, won't
> interact with medicines,and you can mix more than
> one together.I have
> been using them with great results for 11yrs and
> hope to take my
> professional training next year.I am excited about
> studying again
> after 11yrs off with babies and house stuff!
>
> I would recommend:
> Mimulus: for known fears such as fear of lightning
> and thunder
> Aspen: for fear of the unknown, not knowing when a
> storm may happen
> Rock Rose: complete terror and panic,
>
> or you could buy the Mimulus and Aspen separately
> and also Rescue
> Remedy which contains Rock Rose and four other
> flower essences for
> emergency situations. Rescue remedy is most well
> known but in your
> daughters case Mimulus and Aspen would be best.
> Good luck with this!
> Cara
>
>


Vanessa


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Tired of spam? Yahoo! Mail has the best spam protection around
http://mail.yahoo.com

Robin Bentley

My dd has always been sensitive to sound, especially thunder and fireworks.
This has diminished as she's gotten older, but can still be an issue for
her. I would echo the Bach Flower remedy recommendation - Rescue Remedy
seems to help her.

I understand your reluctance about "new things for children to take", but
Bach remedies are really safe. And if they don't help your kids, you can
take them! Sometimes, if mom is calm and centered, then kids can feel that,
too.

*Making* anyone take a remedy, safe or not, can be an issue, though.
Sometimes, we just want their pain or upset to go away so we'll all feel
better. My daughter has said no on occasion to taking anything, when I've
offered it. I figure she has decided to work it out in her own way if she's
saying no to something she knows could help. In this case, I just try to be
there to support her, as best I can.

Robin Bentley
in the Pacific Northwest

caradove

--- In [email protected], Schafer Vanessa
<psychomom95@...> wrote:
>
> Thanks Cara.
>
> Where do you buy these things you were talking about?
> Are these chewable, or do you take them with water?


they are liquid and you dilute them more in spring water so nothing to
chew or swallow.If your child doesnt like to take anything add it to her
ordinary drinking water.

> I get kind of nervous trying new things for the
> children to take. I guess maybe I'm overly cautious,
> but sometimes you never know.

You can buy these in a lot of health food stores, call first and ask if
they have "Bach Flower Essences".We order ours through Frontier
Wholesale Natural Products Co Op. They are small bottles but last a
really long time as you further dilute them.
If you have questions the FAQ page here will help, I dont think I should
go into detail on the group but write off group for sure if you want
more details or have questions.

http://www.fesflowers.com/faq_essences.htm
<http://www.fesflowers.com/faq_essences.htm>

They are very gentle, I have used them in pregnancy and for a few
minutes old baby too, actually a few babies! They wont interact with any
prescribed meds and often people on meds need less after a course of
flower essence therapy for anxiety, depression etc.

Cara
>



[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Deb Lewis

***I have a 9 year old daughter that has a bad time with weather--mainly
thunder and lightening. ***

Where do you live? Do you live where there are dangerous storms? Tornados?
We live in Montana and get thunderstorms but we don't have to hunker in the
basement under tornado alert.

Have you explained storms to her, does she know why there is a flash of
lightening and a crack of thunder? If you explain it maybe it will take
some of the mystery out of it for her. If you talk about storms as an
interesting part of nature, you might be able to help her calm down.

How are you during storms? Are you calm? Do you like storms? Are you
doing anything that could be making her more afraid? (Fretting out loud
about power outages, making her move away from appliances, etc.)

You said her brother had this fear too, can he talk to her about how he got
over his fear? When I was little I was afraid of spiders because my older
sister got hysterical at the sight of a spider. I thought, if they scared
her that much they must be pretty bad. It wasn't until Dylan was born that
I decided I didn't want to make him afraid of spiders (or anything) and I
started pointing spiders out to him, talking about them, picking them up and
taking them outside, treating them like sweet little critters. He likes
spiders, and so do I! <g>

Something like 85 people a year in the US die from lightening strikes, from
a population of three hundred million people. I think you're more likely to
be killed by your own doctor than to be killed by lightening. <g> (but,
maybe, don't tell her that.<g> )


Deb Lewis

Schafer Vanessa

Hi Deb,

We live in Michigan, so yes, we do get some tornadoes,
and there is always thunder and lightning. We don't
do things to make the kids nervous.

I don't mind storms at all. I love the low rumble of
thunder, and the gentle sound of a rain fall. I am
calm during storms, but also stay informed. The kids
know that they can stay in the basement, when they
need to feel safe. My son has explained how he got
over his fears, but so far it hasn't helped. I did
explain thunder and lightning to my daughter, and even
printed out a page for her, so she can look at it and
read it anytime she needs to/ feels like it.

Right now, I am doing everything to assure her that it
is our job to keep her safe/help her feel safe, and
that she can trust us. I am hoping that she will
believe me/us at some point in time. I have held her
on my lap, wrapped my arms around her, talked to her
calmy to let her know that it's ok, and wiped away her
tears. I have also answered her questions of no rain,
no thunder, no lightning momma, at least 2 dozen times
a day, always giving her the same answer. I will tell
her when there is supposed to be thunder/lightning, if
needed, so she is warned ahead of time. I have done
everything I can think of. She even calls my parents
in Iowa, and talks to them about a half dozen times a
day. They are also very good with her, and very
patient. She won't turn to her other grandparents
that live here, because she knows she can't count on
them, and when my son went through this, my father in
law ridiculed him. We won't go down that alley again.

This afternoon, I plan on reading her "Thunder Cake",
which I read to my son, and we made the cake, but
without the tomatoes. (We don't like them.)
Hopefully it will work with her too, and she and my
dad will also make thunder cake together this summer.

If you have any more ideas, I welcome any and all.


--- Deb Lewis <d.lewis@...> wrote:

>
> ***I have a 9 year old daughter that has a bad time
> with weather--mainly
> thunder and lightening. ***
>
> Where do you live? Do you live where there are
> dangerous storms? Tornados?
> We live in Montana and get thunderstorms but we
> don't have to hunker in the
> basement under tornado alert.
>
> Have you explained storms to her, does she know why
> there is a flash of
> lightening and a crack of thunder? If you explain
> it maybe it will take
> some of the mystery out of it for her. If you talk
> about storms as an
> interesting part of nature, you might be able to
> help her calm down.
>
> How are you during storms? Are you calm? Do you
> like storms? Are you
> doing anything that could be making her more afraid?
> (Fretting out loud
> about power outages, making her move away from
> appliances, etc.)
>
> You said her brother had this fear too, can he talk
> to her about how he got
> over his fear? When I was little I was afraid of
> spiders because my older
> sister got hysterical at the sight of a spider. I
> thought, if they scared
> her that much they must be pretty bad. It wasn't
> until Dylan was born that
> I decided I didn't want to make him afraid of
> spiders (or anything) and I
> started pointing spiders out to him, talking about
> them, picking them up and
> taking them outside, treating them like sweet little
> critters. He likes
> spiders, and so do I! <g>
>
> Something like 85 people a year in the US die from
> lightening strikes, from
> a population of three hundred million people. I
> think you're more likely to
> be killed by your own doctor than to be killed by
> lightening. <g> (but,
> maybe, don't tell her that.<g> )
>
>
> Deb Lewis
>
>
>


Vanessa


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Deb Lewis

***If you have any more ideas, I welcome any and all.***

Maybe you could set her up with an easel and some paints and let her paint
the storm. Or let her paint what the storm makes her feel like.
Take pictures of her during the storm and then let her look at them when the
storm is over. Take a picture of her looking at herself in the photo's.
Later, if she talks about it, you can say, "Look, here you are (show her the
picture of her looking at the pictures) that storm didn't hurt you."

If you can take pictures of her at every storm for awhile, you might get of
photo of her looking normal/happy and that photo may help her when the next
storm comes. You can show it to her and remind her that people can feel
normal and even happy during a storm. Get a really happy picture of her
when a storm is over and use it the same way. "There was a storm and look,
you're ok!"

Shove a loveseat or big chair in front of your biggest window and make some
popcorn and snuggle down with her and watch the storm like it's a movie.

Of course, don't do any of that if it upsets her. But your closeness and
positive attitude and the activity might be just interesting enough to help
her get through it.

Chances are it'll pass, like it did with her brother. And you're sweet to
be so patient with her. : )

Deb Lewis