Re: [unschoolingbasics] Abduction statistics
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According to the FBI's statistics of kidnapping children in America,
strangers kidnap about 300 children every year.
_http://www.protect-http://wwhttp://wwhttp:/_
(http://www.protect-your-kid.com/page/977976) That is 300 children of
72,000,000 children in the US. The risk is much less than death by MVA.
~~~~~~~~
John Stossel recently had a show about fear in America. He discussed the
topic of child abduction as it is one of parents' biggest fears and compared the
statistics to other things people fear including terrorism, MVA's and flying
airplanes. I'm not sure of the exact numbers but he said something to the
effect that we are many, many times more likely to be struck by lightning than we
are of having a child abducted.
<<I have a friend that was molested as a child by an Uncle. One of her big
pet peeves is the parent that "makes" their child hug everyone as they leave a
relatives house or a friends house. For that reason I let my children choose
who they want to hug or not. Just because it's a relative does not mean my girls
have to hug or kiss them if they are not comfortable with it.
Kelly>>
Gross! One huge fear of mine is that one of my children will be molested.
Fifteen years ago some friends and I had a *sisters* weekend. We had an intense
discussion about rape and molestation and 8 out of 11 of the women in our
group admitted to having been molested in one way or another during their
childhoods. All but one was hurt by a family member and only one of the 8 had told
her parents as a child. Eight women in one room whose abuse was never
reported. My friend who did tell her parents (about grampy fondling her) said her
father punched him in the face and told him not to touch her again but never
called the police. So many more people have been molested than is reported so the
statistics aren't even close to being accurate. Like molestation, most
abductions are by family members rather than strangers so it is probable that the
pet store guy was not an abductor but I have to admit that I was creeped out
when I read the story about this stranger handing the boy a turtle and then
refusing his younger sister's request. My first thought was --Oooh, he prefers
little boys--but I stopped myself because I know I've become paranoid about
perpetrators since learning that so many of my friends were molested. I was glad to
read that others on this list were alarmed as well. I thought about what it
was that sparked the creeps in me and it was this: If the stranger in the
store was just being nice by handing the boy the turtle, why wasn't he equally
nice to the little girl? A truly kid friendly guy would have gone back to the
tank and brought the little (screaming) girl a turtle. This *nice* guy actually
caused the problems for the poster and her daughter. He could have been
friendly without crossing appropriate boundaries. He could have (should have) asked
the young boy's mother if it was okay to hand him a turtle, then it wouldn't
seem creepy or inappropriate at all.
One thing that we haven't touched upon in this discussion is that the child
who accepted the turtle should be reminded that if a similar situation happens
in the future that you'd like him to check with you before taking *anything*
from a stranger.
Warmly,
Robin in MA, glad that the world is full of good people.
************************************** See what's free at http://www.aol.com
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
strangers kidnap about 300 children every year.
_http://www.protect-http://wwhttp://wwhttp:/_
(http://www.protect-your-kid.com/page/977976) That is 300 children of
72,000,000 children in the US. The risk is much less than death by MVA.
~~~~~~~~
John Stossel recently had a show about fear in America. He discussed the
topic of child abduction as it is one of parents' biggest fears and compared the
statistics to other things people fear including terrorism, MVA's and flying
airplanes. I'm not sure of the exact numbers but he said something to the
effect that we are many, many times more likely to be struck by lightning than we
are of having a child abducted.
<<I have a friend that was molested as a child by an Uncle. One of her big
pet peeves is the parent that "makes" their child hug everyone as they leave a
relatives house or a friends house. For that reason I let my children choose
who they want to hug or not. Just because it's a relative does not mean my girls
have to hug or kiss them if they are not comfortable with it.
Kelly>>
Gross! One huge fear of mine is that one of my children will be molested.
Fifteen years ago some friends and I had a *sisters* weekend. We had an intense
discussion about rape and molestation and 8 out of 11 of the women in our
group admitted to having been molested in one way or another during their
childhoods. All but one was hurt by a family member and only one of the 8 had told
her parents as a child. Eight women in one room whose abuse was never
reported. My friend who did tell her parents (about grampy fondling her) said her
father punched him in the face and told him not to touch her again but never
called the police. So many more people have been molested than is reported so the
statistics aren't even close to being accurate. Like molestation, most
abductions are by family members rather than strangers so it is probable that the
pet store guy was not an abductor but I have to admit that I was creeped out
when I read the story about this stranger handing the boy a turtle and then
refusing his younger sister's request. My first thought was --Oooh, he prefers
little boys--but I stopped myself because I know I've become paranoid about
perpetrators since learning that so many of my friends were molested. I was glad to
read that others on this list were alarmed as well. I thought about what it
was that sparked the creeps in me and it was this: If the stranger in the
store was just being nice by handing the boy the turtle, why wasn't he equally
nice to the little girl? A truly kid friendly guy would have gone back to the
tank and brought the little (screaming) girl a turtle. This *nice* guy actually
caused the problems for the poster and her daughter. He could have been
friendly without crossing appropriate boundaries. He could have (should have) asked
the young boy's mother if it was okay to hand him a turtle, then it wouldn't
seem creepy or inappropriate at all.
One thing that we haven't touched upon in this discussion is that the child
who accepted the turtle should be reminded that if a similar situation happens
in the future that you'd like him to check with you before taking *anything*
from a stranger.
Warmly,
Robin in MA, glad that the world is full of good people.
************************************** See what's free at http://www.aol.com
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
JULIE WOOD-HOLMLUND
The book "Last Child in the Woods -- Saving our Children from Nature Deficit Disorder" by Richard Louv has an excellent chapter titled something like "The Bogeyman Syndrome". It discusses how parents' fear of abduction is fed by the media, but that the fear is generally WAY out of proportion with the actual risk. The author's concern is how this parental fear drastically limits kids' access to natural, unstructured outdoor play. That section also discusses how playing in the natural world is an excellent way to help tune a child's "risk radar" since it awakens their senses.
The book also relates to another current thread on this list about encouraging kids to spend time outside. He gives scores of examples of ways to make outdoor experiences more enriching and enjoyable, as well as explaining why so many "structured" outdoor experiences leave many kids bored and uninspired.
The other section I loved was about using nature the enhance education. Since we'll be buying a house when we settle back in the US soon, I'll definitely be looking into the references he gives about landscaping which promotes unstructured outdoor play and thus learning.
As with so many of the books I've read lately, this one is full to the brim with "unschooly" concepts although I'm pretty certain the authors probably don't realize it. ;)
Here's the link to Amazon with tons of five-star reviews of the book: http://www.amazon.com/Last-Child-Woods-Children-Nature-Deficit/dp/1565125223/ref=pd_bbs_sr_1/102-1157777-1485706?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1175602633&sr=8-1
K, gotta go pack so more while Jake naps!!
Julie H.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
The book also relates to another current thread on this list about encouraging kids to spend time outside. He gives scores of examples of ways to make outdoor experiences more enriching and enjoyable, as well as explaining why so many "structured" outdoor experiences leave many kids bored and uninspired.
The other section I loved was about using nature the enhance education. Since we'll be buying a house when we settle back in the US soon, I'll definitely be looking into the references he gives about landscaping which promotes unstructured outdoor play and thus learning.
As with so many of the books I've read lately, this one is full to the brim with "unschooly" concepts although I'm pretty certain the authors probably don't realize it. ;)
Here's the link to Amazon with tons of five-star reviews of the book: http://www.amazon.com/Last-Child-Woods-Children-Nature-Deficit/dp/1565125223/ref=pd_bbs_sr_1/102-1157777-1485706?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1175602633&sr=8-1
K, gotta go pack so more while Jake naps!!
Julie H.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[email protected]
-----Original Message-----
From: ohpurple1@...
I thought about what it
was that sparked the creeps in me and it was this: If the stranger in
the
store was just being nice by handing the boy the turtle, why wasn't he
equally
nice to the little girl? A truly kid friendly guy would have gone back
to the
tank and brought the little (screaming) girl a turtle.
-=-=-=-=-=-
The general public would see a screaming child as a child who needs to
be taught a lesson.
"If you whine/scream, you don't *get* to play with the pretty turtle."
She wouldn't be *worthy* of that privilege.
A truly traditional stranger in a pet store wouldn't go against a
mother who was struggling to get a child NOT to pet the turtle---which
was what the mom was doing---trying to get her daughter NOT to pet the
turtle.
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
This *nice* guy actually caused the problems for the poster and her
daughter.
-=-=-=-=-
PuhLEEZE! This guy has NOTHING to do with the issue at hand. He set up
a situation that the mother couldn't handle well. It's not his *fault*.
Several people have given possible solutions ---or different ways to
handle it should it come up again.
*I* would have gotten the damned turtle out myself.
-=-=-=-=-=-
He could have been friendly without crossing appropriate boundaries.
He could have (should have)
asked the young boy's mother if it was okay to hand him a turtle, then
it wouldn't
seem creepy or inappropriate at all.
-=-=-=-=-
Sure, but he didn't.
But it doesn't seem creepy or inappropriate to me. Seems like the
average Joe in a pet store.
=-=-=-=-=-
One thing that we haven't touched upon in this discussion is that the
child
who accepted the turtle should be reminded that if a similar situation
happens
in the future that you'd like him to check with you before taking
*anything*
from a stranger.
-=-=-=-=-=-
If mom's *right* there, why would it matter?
Too much fear.
~Kelly
Kelly Lovejoy
Conference Coordinator
Live and Learn Unschooling Conference
http://www.LiveandLearnConference.org
________________________________________________________________________
AOL now offers free email to everyone. Find out more about what's free
from AOL at AOL.com.
From: ohpurple1@...
I thought about what it
was that sparked the creeps in me and it was this: If the stranger in
the
store was just being nice by handing the boy the turtle, why wasn't he
equally
nice to the little girl? A truly kid friendly guy would have gone back
to the
tank and brought the little (screaming) girl a turtle.
-=-=-=-=-=-
The general public would see a screaming child as a child who needs to
be taught a lesson.
"If you whine/scream, you don't *get* to play with the pretty turtle."
She wouldn't be *worthy* of that privilege.
A truly traditional stranger in a pet store wouldn't go against a
mother who was struggling to get a child NOT to pet the turtle---which
was what the mom was doing---trying to get her daughter NOT to pet the
turtle.
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
This *nice* guy actually caused the problems for the poster and her
daughter.
-=-=-=-=-
PuhLEEZE! This guy has NOTHING to do with the issue at hand. He set up
a situation that the mother couldn't handle well. It's not his *fault*.
Several people have given possible solutions ---or different ways to
handle it should it come up again.
*I* would have gotten the damned turtle out myself.
-=-=-=-=-=-
He could have been friendly without crossing appropriate boundaries.
He could have (should have)
asked the young boy's mother if it was okay to hand him a turtle, then
it wouldn't
seem creepy or inappropriate at all.
-=-=-=-=-
Sure, but he didn't.
But it doesn't seem creepy or inappropriate to me. Seems like the
average Joe in a pet store.
=-=-=-=-=-
One thing that we haven't touched upon in this discussion is that the
child
who accepted the turtle should be reminded that if a similar situation
happens
in the future that you'd like him to check with you before taking
*anything*
from a stranger.
-=-=-=-=-=-
If mom's *right* there, why would it matter?
Too much fear.
~Kelly
Kelly Lovejoy
Conference Coordinator
Live and Learn Unschooling Conference
http://www.LiveandLearnConference.org
________________________________________________________________________
AOL now offers free email to everyone. Find out more about what's free
from AOL at AOL.com.