Ren-marriage
Wildflower Car
May I ask why you say your not a big fan of marriage? I know someone else
mentioned it because they were in the middle of divorce.
Wildflower
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mentioned it because they were in the middle of divorce.
Wildflower
>~~Would you sign a release fro your_________________________________________________________________
>child to get married before 18?~~
>
>
>I'm not a big fan of marriage, I AM a big fan of healthy relationships
>though.:)
>
>Ren
>learninginfreedom.com
>
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Susan
I am not Ren but I'm not a big fan of marriage either. And I'm not in
the middle of divorce nor have I ever been divorced. My partner and I
were married after we had both children and it was decision based
mainly on protecting our family legally and becoming eligible to adopt
our daughter.
But a marriage certificate does not a marriage make, KWIM? We were
perfectly content to be life-long partners and had no worries that we
needed to be married in order to make commitments to our relationship.
I take issue with marriage for many reasons. For example, marriage has
been held up as a golden standard in relationships and commitments but
it is not available to all willing adults. We've designed a society
where there are specified legal benefits of marriage - insurance,
taxes, custody of children, etc - so I see it as basic right of living
in a civilized society but many couples are not afforded these rights.
It should be all or none. I also take issue with marriage for more
philosophical reasons, such as the historical and social aspects of
how the gender roles and autonomy are viewed within marriage, etc.
-- Susan
the middle of divorce nor have I ever been divorced. My partner and I
were married after we had both children and it was decision based
mainly on protecting our family legally and becoming eligible to adopt
our daughter.
But a marriage certificate does not a marriage make, KWIM? We were
perfectly content to be life-long partners and had no worries that we
needed to be married in order to make commitments to our relationship.
I take issue with marriage for many reasons. For example, marriage has
been held up as a golden standard in relationships and commitments but
it is not available to all willing adults. We've designed a society
where there are specified legal benefits of marriage - insurance,
taxes, custody of children, etc - so I see it as basic right of living
in a civilized society but many couples are not afforded these rights.
It should be all or none. I also take issue with marriage for more
philosophical reasons, such as the historical and social aspects of
how the gender roles and autonomy are viewed within marriage, etc.
-- Susan
On 1/22/07, Wildflower Car <unschoolfool@...> wrote:
> May I ask why you say your not a big fan of marriage? I know someone else
> mentioned it because they were in the middle of divorce.
>
> Wildflower
Ren Allen
~~
I am not Ren but I'm not a big fan of marriage either. And I'm not in
the middle of divorce nor have I ever been divorced. ~~
Same here (except for the part about not being Ren..ha). I've been
married for 17 years, with the same partner for 19 and neither of us
are big fans of marriage. Funny eh?
I've seen SO many people that suffer through unhappy relationships,
heck, ours has had some pretty major ups and downs. I take exception
to a lot of ideas about marriage and what makes a good long-term
relationship. "Successful" isn't about staying together forever to me,
it's about being true partners and companions.
If there is no mandate in your head, that says marriage is morally
better than living together or creating whatever kind of relationship
works for that couple, then it becomes irrelevant. I dislike the idea
of marriage for many of the same reasons Susan outlined. I've seen
some pretty amazing relationships both in and outside of marriage and
I've seen some pretty miserable ones. I think the couple defines
"success" for themselves and the fact that marriage is a government
institution just muddles the whole thing.
And back to the unschooling/marriage thing...if my child was very
intent on marriage at a younger age, I'd trust that this was important
to their life journey for some reason. My 17 year old doesn't even
want his driver's license yet, I don't think marriage is on his radar
screen for a long time (if ever)!:) But I could be wrong. And he's my
oldest so things may be very different for other children in this house.
My dh and I don't hold marriage up as some ideal to attain, so I'm
pretty sure our kids don't see it as some desirable thing over and
above other options.
Ren
learninginfreedom.com
I am not Ren but I'm not a big fan of marriage either. And I'm not in
the middle of divorce nor have I ever been divorced. ~~
Same here (except for the part about not being Ren..ha). I've been
married for 17 years, with the same partner for 19 and neither of us
are big fans of marriage. Funny eh?
I've seen SO many people that suffer through unhappy relationships,
heck, ours has had some pretty major ups and downs. I take exception
to a lot of ideas about marriage and what makes a good long-term
relationship. "Successful" isn't about staying together forever to me,
it's about being true partners and companions.
If there is no mandate in your head, that says marriage is morally
better than living together or creating whatever kind of relationship
works for that couple, then it becomes irrelevant. I dislike the idea
of marriage for many of the same reasons Susan outlined. I've seen
some pretty amazing relationships both in and outside of marriage and
I've seen some pretty miserable ones. I think the couple defines
"success" for themselves and the fact that marriage is a government
institution just muddles the whole thing.
And back to the unschooling/marriage thing...if my child was very
intent on marriage at a younger age, I'd trust that this was important
to their life journey for some reason. My 17 year old doesn't even
want his driver's license yet, I don't think marriage is on his radar
screen for a long time (if ever)!:) But I could be wrong. And he's my
oldest so things may be very different for other children in this house.
My dh and I don't hold marriage up as some ideal to attain, so I'm
pretty sure our kids don't see it as some desirable thing over and
above other options.
Ren
learninginfreedom.com