Chris Cade

Hello all,

Long time lurker, first time poster. My wife and I are expecting our first any time now (official due date Jan 1st), and we decided that for now we'd start with the Arm's Reach Mini Co-Sleeper Bassinet because it had been recommended by unschoolers as a good solution to co-sleeping but without having the baby in the bed.

One of the reasons we leaned towards the co-sleeper instead of having the child in the bed with us is that we read some articles with warnings about co-sleeping with infants and not having comforters or any soft/plush bedding, as well as general sleep disturbances for people in the bed (I have had some challenges sleeping already, so we did not want to exasperate that issue any more than is already going to be necessary).

That said, for those of you who have used the Arm's Reach Mini Co-Sleeper Bassinet (or probably any bassinet for that matter) -- we noticed two things:

1) It came with a single fitted sheet, and says to only use approved fitted sheets or those that are equally/correctly sized. Does this mean that we shouldn't have any other sheets/blankets, so our child just sleeps in whatever clothes it has on? Or are there specific non-fitted sheets we should purchase/make?

2) It says to only use the Co-Sleeper up until 3 months of age (or when the baby can sit/crawl/kneel). What did you do after 3 months of age?

Currently we don't have a nursery planned because we are planning to do attachment parenting, so we didn't purchase a crib either (even just to keep next to our bed).

Any thoughts/suggestions/advice along these lines would be greatly appreciated. We are also planning an unassisted home birth, unschooling, and elimination communication.

Warmest wishes,
Chris

mtc

Chris,
A
Another unschooling dad here -- maybe we should start a list.

We used the Arm's Reach for about the first month, but quickly moved to
having her sleep in our bed after too many numb arms from reaching across
the small divider. The warnings about co-sleeping are enormously inflated
and based on people leaving babies alone in adult beds or sleeping with them
while under the influence. To answer your questions more specifically:

1. Fitted sheets: We simply used newborn-sized blankets and tucked them
around the sheet so there was no slack. It is important that there aren't
loose sheets, but a tiny bit of give is inevitable. Just make sure the baby
is on his or her back to sleep.

2. We found that by three months, our fears about the bed were soothed to
the point where we did as most of the world does and simply brought her in
with us, making sure there were no pillows or blankets around her face.
She's 1.5 now and happily acrobating around the family bed.

All that said, it attaches so nicely that if your baby is a sort who doesn't
require physical contact to feel comfortable at night -- and it seems there
are many babies who prefer it that way -- it should work for you. Ours likes
to cuddle so we outgrew it quickly.

--Tom C.


On 12/15/06, Chris Cade <chris@...> wrote:
>
> Hello all,
>
> Long time lurker, first time poster. My wife and I are expecting our first
> any time now (official due date Jan 1st), and we decided that for now we'd
> start with the Arm's Reach Mini Co-Sleeper Bassinet because it had been
> recommended by unschoolers as a good solution to co-sleeping but without
> having the baby in the bed.
>
> One of the reasons we leaned towards the co-sleeper instead of having the
> child in the bed with us is that we read some articles with warnings about
> co-sleeping with infants and not having comforters or any soft/plush
> bedding, as well as general sleep disturbances for people in the bed (I have
> had some challenges sleeping already, so we did not want to exasperate that
> issue any more than is already going to be necessary).
>
> That said, for those of you who have used the Arm's Reach Mini Co-Sleeper
> Bassinet (or probably any bassinet for that matter) -- we noticed two
> things:
>
> 1) It came with a single fitted sheet, and says to only use approved
> fitted sheets or those that are equally/correctly sized. Does this mean that
> we shouldn't have any other sheets/blankets, so our child just sleeps in
> whatever clothes it has on? Or are there specific non-fitted sheets we
> should purchase/make?
>
> 2) It says to only use the Co-Sleeper up until 3 months of age (or when
> the baby can sit/crawl/kneel). What did you do after 3 months of age?
>
> Currently we don't have a nursery planned because we are planning to do
> attachment parenting, so we didn't purchase a crib either (even just to keep
> next to our bed).
>
> Any thoughts/suggestions/advice along these lines would be greatly
> appreciated. We are also planning an unassisted home birth, unschooling, and
> elimination communication.
>
> Warmest wishes,
> Chris
>
>


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

[email protected]

-----Original Message-----
From: ensign.tom@...

Another unschooling dad here -- maybe we should start a list.

-=-==-

There is one! Well, TWO!

[email protected]

[email protected]

Neither is terribly active, but both GET active if you post! <g>

~Kelly
________________________________________________________________________
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[email protected]

The Needs and Rights of Children:
Steps to Take
by John Holt

Paul Goodman, in his many talks with young people, used to say that one
good way to work for a truly different and better world was to act in
their daily lives, as far they could, as if that world existed. What
would you do, he would ask them, if the world had become more or less
the kind of place you want it to be; how would you live, how would you
treat other people? Live that way now, treat them that way now. If
something prevents you, try to find a way to deal with that. We can
begin to treat children, even the youngest and smallest, wherever we
may find them, as we would want everyone to treat them in the society
we are trying to make.
We can begin by trying to be courteous to them. This will be very
difficult for those who have been taught by experience only to be
servile to the strong and rude and bossy toward the weak or those who
have learned to think of children as love objects and to treat them as
they would a favorite dog or cat. For to be courteous we must first of
all respect the other person’s dignity and sense of self. We must treat
him with a certain formality and reserve until we find out how he would
like to be treated. We must respect not just his physical but his
emotional life space until he shows us how far into that space he is
ready to welcome us. And though being courteous means much more than
merely being polite, it means at least that. So we must try to learn to
say "Please" or "Excuse Me" or "Thank You" to children, and in the same
tone of voice we would use to anyone else. We must not treat a child
like a servant and demand from him favors or services that we would not
think of asking of someone our own age. Indeed, because he is new in
this world, and gets his sense of it from how we be- have toward him,
we would do well to show him extra courtesy like the wise parents who
said to me once that most of the time they tried to behave toward their
then four-year-old son as if he were a very distinguished visitor from
a strange and alien civilization, knowing little but eager to learn
about how we do things here.

Another small way to be courteous is by respecting and protecting the
child’s right to privacy. Until the law gives to him as it does to us
(at least on paper) the right to be free from arbitrary search and
seizure, we should act as if he had that right. This means, among other
things, not going into a child’s room without asking, and receiving,
permission. Many children’s rooms have signs saying, "Keep Out!,"
"Danger," "Absolutely Private," and the like. This fierceness may amuse
us but it may well be a child’s desperate clutch at a privacy and
dignity he has never had and does not expect to get. Many children who
put up such signs know that they won’t be respected, that "their" room
is as open to other people as any room in their house.

And privacy means privacy of thought as well as space. Too many people
think they have a right and duty to know almost everything their child
is doing or even thinking. They ask, "What did you do in school today?"
to which the child very often replies, "Nothing." He only means,
"Nothing that I want to talk about." Or perhaps, "Nothing that I want
(or dare) talk to you about – at least right now." People who really
like hearing what their children have been doing don’t usually have to
ask them.
________________________________________________________________________
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Mara

Hi,
we bought the arms reach co-sleeper also mainly
because our then 3 year old also mostly slept in our
bed, but our little one woke up so frequently that
mostly he slept in mine or my husbands arms or
shoulders. He used the co-sleeper maybe once for a
nap. He still (at 2.5 years old either sleeps in the
big bed or recently with his brother (and me) in
another bed as we were running out of space, our kids
like to sleep sideways -)
He was also born at home but with a midwife. We love
our midwife, otherwise I had thought about a
nonassisted childbirth as well - I am glad I did not
because a complication arouse as my cervix not fullly
opening. I just went on and on stuck at 9.5 without
the water breaking, I eventually had to push him out
with her pulling the cervix over his head. Also he had
his arm in the way, so I was very glad she was there.
Why are you trying to go unassisted? I certainly don't
want to critizise, I just know of a few people who
tried... of course if that is what you choose I wish
you all the best.
We also did elimination communication, and it has been
working wonderfully. Our little one was out of diapers
at 1, then back in them at 13 months, now out
completely at 2.3 years, day and night.
Good luck!
Mara


--- mtc <ensign.tom@...> wrote:

> Chris,
> A
> Another unschooling dad here -- maybe we should
> start a list.
>
> We used the Arm's Reach for about the first month,
> but quickly moved to
> having her sleep in our bed after too many numb arms
> from reaching across
> the small divider. The warnings about co-sleeping
> are enormously inflated
> and based on people leaving babies alone in adult
> beds or sleeping with them
> while under the influence. To answer your questions
> more specifically:
>
> 1. Fitted sheets: We simply used newborn-sized
> blankets and tucked them
> around the sheet so there was no slack. It is
> important that there aren't
> loose sheets, but a tiny bit of give is inevitable.
> Just make sure the baby
> is on his or her back to sleep.
>
> 2. We found that by three months, our fears about
> the bed were soothed to
> the point where we did as most of the world does and
> simply brought her in
> with us, making sure there were no pillows or
> blankets around her face.
> She's 1.5 now and happily acrobating around the
> family bed.
>
> All that said, it attaches so nicely that if your
> baby is a sort who doesn't
> require physical contact to feel comfortable at
> night -- and it seems there
> are many babies who prefer it that way -- it should
> work for you. Ours likes
> to cuddle so we outgrew it quickly.
>
> --Tom C.
>
>
> On 12/15/06, Chris Cade
> <chris@...> wrote:
> >
> > Hello all,
> >
> > Long time lurker, first time poster. My wife and I
> are expecting our first
> > any time now (official due date Jan 1st), and we
> decided that for now we'd
> > start with the Arm's Reach Mini Co-Sleeper
> Bassinet because it had been
> > recommended by unschoolers as a good solution to
> co-sleeping but without
> > having the baby in the bed.
> >
> > One of the reasons we leaned towards the
> co-sleeper instead of having the
> > child in the bed with us is that we read some
> articles with warnings about
> > co-sleeping with infants and not having comforters
> or any soft/plush
> > bedding, as well as general sleep disturbances for
> people in the bed (I have
> > had some challenges sleeping already, so we did
> not want to exasperate that
> > issue any more than is already going to be
> necessary).
> >
> > That said, for those of you who have used the
> Arm's Reach Mini Co-Sleeper
> > Bassinet (or probably any bassinet for that
> matter) -- we noticed two
> > things:
> >
> > 1) It came with a single fitted sheet, and says to
> only use approved
> > fitted sheets or those that are equally/correctly
> sized. Does this mean that
> > we shouldn't have any other sheets/blankets, so
> our child just sleeps in
> > whatever clothes it has on? Or are there specific
> non-fitted sheets we
> > should purchase/make?
> >
> > 2) It says to only use the Co-Sleeper up until 3
> months of age (or when
> > the baby can sit/crawl/kneel). What did you do
> after 3 months of age?
> >
> > Currently we don't have a nursery planned because
> we are planning to do
> > attachment parenting, so we didn't purchase a crib
> either (even just to keep
> > next to our bed).
> >
> > Any thoughts/suggestions/advice along these lines
> would be greatly
> > appreciated. We are also planning an unassisted
> home birth, unschooling, and
> > elimination communication.
> >
> > Warmest wishes,
> > Chris
> >
> >
>
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been
> removed]
>
>


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Chris

Mara and Tom,

Thanks so much for the insight (as well as the Dad's lists which I
just subscribed to)!

To answer your question about unassisted - my wife feels that it
resonates the best with her, and she is confident and sending out the
positive intentions to have a wonderful birth.

She is very intuitive and this feels right to her; however, she also
is accepting that if her intuition tells her something isn't quite
right, she is willing to go to the hospital if necessary.

-Chris

--- In [email protected], Mara <mamadeluz@...> wrote:
>
> Hi,
> we bought the arms reach co-sleeper also mainly
> because our then 3 year old also mostly slept in our
> bed, but our little one woke up so frequently that
> mostly he slept in mine or my husbands arms or
> shoulders. He used the co-sleeper maybe once for a
> nap. He still (at 2.5 years old either sleeps in the
> big bed or recently with his brother (and me) in
> another bed as we were running out of space, our kids
> like to sleep sideways -)
> He was also born at home but with a midwife. We love
> our midwife, otherwise I had thought about a
> nonassisted childbirth as well - I am glad I did not
> because a complication arouse as my cervix not fullly
> opening. I just went on and on stuck at 9.5 without
> the water breaking, I eventually had to push him out
> with her pulling the cervix over his head. Also he had
> his arm in the way, so I was very glad she was there.
> Why are you trying to go unassisted? I certainly don't
> want to critizise, I just know of a few people who
> tried... of course if that is what you choose I wish
> you all the best.
> We also did elimination communication, and it has been
> working wonderfully. Our little one was out of diapers
> at 1, then back in them at 13 months, now out
> completely at 2.3 years, day and night.
> Good luck!
> Mara
>
>
> --- mtc <ensign.tom@...> wrote:
>
> > Chris,
> > A
> > Another unschooling dad here -- maybe we should
> > start a list.
> >
> > We used the Arm's Reach for about the first month,
> > but quickly moved to
> > having her sleep in our bed after too many numb arms
> > from reaching across
> > the small divider. The warnings about co-sleeping
> > are enormously inflated
> > and based on people leaving babies alone in adult
> > beds or sleeping with them
> > while under the influence. To answer your questions
> > more specifically:
> >
> > 1. Fitted sheets: We simply used newborn-sized
> > blankets and tucked them
> > around the sheet so there was no slack. It is
> > important that there aren't
> > loose sheets, but a tiny bit of give is inevitable.
> > Just make sure the baby
> > is on his or her back to sleep.
> >
> > 2. We found that by three months, our fears about
> > the bed were soothed to
> > the point where we did as most of the world does and
> > simply brought her in
> > with us, making sure there were no pillows or
> > blankets around her face.
> > She's 1.5 now and happily acrobating around the
> > family bed.
> >
> > All that said, it attaches so nicely that if your
> > baby is a sort who doesn't
> > require physical contact to feel comfortable at
> > night -- and it seems there
> > are many babies who prefer it that way -- it should
> > work for you. Ours likes
> > to cuddle so we outgrew it quickly.
> >
> > --Tom C.

wuweimama

--- In [email protected], "Chris Cade" <chris@...> wrote:
>
> Hello all,
>
> Long time lurker, first time poster. My wife and I are expecting
our first any time now (official due date Jan 1st), and we decided
that for now we'd start with the Arm's Reach Mini Co-Sleeper Bassinet
because it had been recommended by unschoolers as a good solution to
co-sleeping but without having the baby in the bed.
>


Welcome Chris, best wishes with the homebirth. We also were
comfortable planning to birth at home. I was incredulous to learn that
birthing at home was actually safer than hospital births for all but
the highest risk pregnancies with co-morbid issues. As a critical care
nurse, it took a lot of research to convince myself of the studies.
So, I came to homebirthing backwards from intuition. I trusted the
medical research!

I assume that you are familiar with www.mothering.com You might also
enjoy the AlwaysUnschooled yahoogroup with families, from birth and
beyond, who have Always Unschooled. :-)
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/AlwaysUnschooled/

If you'd like a smaller list, Healthy Parenting is very alternative
also: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/healthy_parenting/?yguid=287472904
It is focused more on young children, rather than unschooling however.
Of course, there are unassisted birth support lists too, as UC is
becoming more and more preferred.

We co-slept from birth. Ds slept within the embrace of my arm. We had
a toddler bedrail on the bed due to my paranoia, even before he could
turn over. LOL But the bed covers were never an issue. The mama will
be very in tune with the baby's sleep cycles. We actually awaken in
our own sleep cycle at about 90 minutes; and babies often wake at
around 100 minutes as infants. So, mamas who co-sleep come into a
lighter sleep cycle just before babies awaken. We never had any issues
with rolling over, or off the bed, or anything like that either. I'd
just rouse around when our son would move or make any sounds. New
mamas have heightened hearing at night, I have read. However, dh was
less aware in his sleep, so I generally slept in the middle of the
bed. You can push the bed against the wall, if you are concerned. Or,
place the mattress and box springs on the floor, as some families do.
We now have a king and twin pushed together. Although, ds sleeps in
his room most nights.

It is pleasant to have all the big bed back to move around, as ds
liked to snuggle in my half of the king. LOL So, you might consider
spending the money on a twin (instead of a co-sleeper), and place the
baby in it next to your all's bed. Of course, pushed together so that
there is no gap. That makes the transition to sleeping separately
easier since there is plenty of room. Oh, I just re-read your note, it
appears that you have purchased the co-sleeper already. Hmmm...another
option some folks will create a nest on the floor next to the bed for
the baby. We placed the unused crib mattress on the floor for a while
before we had purchased the twin. That was probably around the time of
crawling. But, it was much easier for me to nurse at the same level
instead of having to get baby or me in and out of bed. The easiest is
to co-sleep, imo. And everyone gets more sleep that way, if you have
enough space.

To address your question about clothes, it really depends upon the
baby. Our son slept better when warm at night as a baby, or swaddled
(highly recommended). But as he got closer to 18 months, he
consistently indicated that he didn't like covers or clothes at night.
At 5, he is very hot blooded and still likes shorts when I have a
sweater and long pants. So, *it depends*. But, yes, the general
recommendation is no covers for infants, as far as I know. As soon as
they can turn their head, they can bat a sheet off of them. Ds was
born in June, so we just used a sheet on the bed and no heavy covers.
You might just turn up the heat and do similarly.

Best wishes, Pat

Vickisue Gray

You are far braver then I. I did not have high risk pregnancies
but would have lost both children had I not been in a hospital.
My spouse actually saved my son's life by observing the monitors
and me, and calling in help before it was too late.

They preformed an emergency c-section and my son was saved.
A rare case maybe, but I'm still thankful my spouse learned those
machines!

Blessings,
Vicki
Chris <chris@...> wrote:
Mara and Tom,

Thanks so much for the insight (as well as the Dad's lists which I
just subscribed to)!

To answer your question about unassisted - my wife feels that it
resonates the best with her, and she is confident and sending out the
positive intentions to have a wonderful birth.

She is very intuitive and this feels right to her; however, she also
is accepting that if her intuition tells her something isn't quite
right, she is willing to go to the hospital if necessary.

-Chris

--- In [email protected], Mara <mamadeluz@...> wrote:
>
> Hi,
> we bought the arms reach co-sleeper also mainly
> because our then 3 year old also mostly slept in our
> bed, but our little one woke up so frequently that
> mostly he slept in mine or my husbands arms or
> shoulders. He used the co-sleeper maybe once for a
> nap. He still (at 2.5 years old either sleeps in the
> big bed or recently with his brother (and me) in
> another bed as we were running out of space, our kids
> like to sleep sideways -)
> He was also born at home but with a midwife. We love
> our midwife, otherwise I had thought about a
> nonassisted childbirth as well - I am glad I did not
> because a complication arouse as my cervix not fullly
> opening. I just went on and on stuck at 9.5 without
> the water breaking, I eventually had to push him out
> with her pulling the cervix over his head. Also he had
> his arm in the way, so I was very glad she was there.
> Why are you trying to go unassisted? I certainly don't
> want to critizise, I just know of a few people who
> tried... of course if that is what you choose I wish
> you all the best.
> We also did elimination communication, and it has been
> working wonderfully. Our little one was out of diapers
> at 1, then back in them at 13 months, now out
> completely at 2.3 years, day and night.
> Good luck!
> Mara
>
>
> --- mtc <ensign.tom@...> wrote:
>
> > Chris,
> > A
> > Another unschooling dad here -- maybe we should
> > start a list.
> >
> > We used the Arm's Reach for about the first month,
> > but quickly moved to
> > having her sleep in our bed after too many numb arms
> > from reaching across
> > the small divider. The warnings about co-sleeping
> > are enormously inflated
> > and based on people leaving babies alone in adult
> > beds or sleeping with them
> > while under the influence. To answer your questions
> > more specifically:
> >
> > 1. Fitted sheets: We simply used newborn-sized
> > blankets and tucked them
> > around the sheet so there was no slack. It is
> > important that there aren't
> > loose sheets, but a tiny bit of give is inevitable.
> > Just make sure the baby
> > is on his or her back to sleep.
> >
> > 2. We found that by three months, our fears about
> > the bed were soothed to
> > the point where we did as most of the world does and
> > simply brought her in
> > with us, making sure there were no pillows or
> > blankets around her face.
> > She's 1.5 now and happily acrobating around the
> > family bed.
> >
> > All that said, it attaches so nicely that if your
> > baby is a sort who doesn't
> > require physical contact to feel comfortable at
> > night -- and it seems there
> > are many babies who prefer it that way -- it should
> > work for you. Ours likes
> > to cuddle so we outgrew it quickly.
> >
> > --Tom C.





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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

wuweimama

--- In [email protected], Vickisue Gray
<vickisue_gray@...> wrote:
>
> You are far braver then I. I did not have high risk pregnancies
> but would have lost both children had I not been in a hospital.
> My spouse actually saved my son's life by observing the monitors
> and me, and calling in help before it was too late.
>
> They preformed an emergency c-section and my son was saved.
> A rare case maybe, but I'm still thankful my spouse learned those
> machines!
>


Vicki, I obviously do not doubt your situation, as I have no knowledge
of it. However, "would have lost the baby" is basically a cultural
(American) myth about emergency C-sections. Many unnecessary
C-sections occur and the incidence (epidemic proportions) is
unbelievable. Please see many, many, many documents disclosing these
issues on Mothering.com. The number of "emergency" c-sections compared
to similar socio-economic and matched risk groups varies by
practioner, state and country. Midwives, save women and babies from
c-sections according to these same research criteria.

We are wayyyyyyy off topic. But, in unschooling we question all of our
assumptions. There are many false assumptions surrounding birthing and
medical interventions.

Respectfully, Pat

Mara

Hi Chris,
I truly do believe intuition is your best insurance,
so I wish you a wonderful, magical birth!
A wonderful email list and resource for the EC is the
diaperfreebaby.org website and list. I EC'd my
youngest from birth and caught his first poop in the
sink. To sleep I layed him down on a bunch of those
flat cloth diapers covered with a thin receiving
blanket and just pulled them out under him replacing
them with some fresh ones when wet. I also put those
diapers on me when he nursed and peed at the same
time. Curiously he did have a time when he turned 13
months when he would not let me take him to the
bathroom anymore, even though he was out of diapers at
night completely at that time, but I let him be and
put diapers on him for several months until he told me
he was done with them, almost from one day to the next
around 2. We still have some accidents occasionally
but they are getting rare indeed. Anyways, intuition
works wonders with this and unschooling, so enjoy the
journey!
Mara


--- Chris <chris@...> wrote:

> Mara and Tom,
>
> Thanks so much for the insight (as well as the Dad's
> lists which I
> just subscribed to)!
>
> To answer your question about unassisted - my wife
> feels that it
> resonates the best with her, and she is confident
> and sending out the
> positive intentions to have a wonderful birth.
>
> She is very intuitive and this feels right to her;
> however, she also
> is accepting that if her intuition tells her
> something isn't quite
> right, she is willing to go to the hospital if
> necessary.
>
> -Chris
>
> --- In [email protected], Mara
> <mamadeluz@...> wrote:
> >
> > Hi,
> > we bought the arms reach co-sleeper also mainly
> > because our then 3 year old also mostly slept in
> our
> > bed, but our little one woke up so frequently that
> > mostly he slept in mine or my husbands arms or
> > shoulders. He used the co-sleeper maybe once for a
> > nap. He still (at 2.5 years old either sleeps in
> the
> > big bed or recently with his brother (and me) in
> > another bed as we were running out of space, our
> kids
> > like to sleep sideways -)
> > He was also born at home but with a midwife. We
> love
> > our midwife, otherwise I had thought about a
> > nonassisted childbirth as well - I am glad I did
> not
> > because a complication arouse as my cervix not
> fullly
> > opening. I just went on and on stuck at 9.5
> without
> > the water breaking, I eventually had to push him
> out
> > with her pulling the cervix over his head. Also he
> had
> > his arm in the way, so I was very glad she was
> there.
> > Why are you trying to go unassisted? I certainly
> don't
> > want to critizise, I just know of a few people who
> > tried... of course if that is what you choose I
> wish
> > you all the best.
> > We also did elimination communication, and it has
> been
> > working wonderfully. Our little one was out of
> diapers
> > at 1, then back in them at 13 months, now out
> > completely at 2.3 years, day and night.
> > Good luck!
> > Mara
> >
> >
> > --- mtc <ensign.tom@...> wrote:
> >
> > > Chris,
> > > A
> > > Another unschooling dad here -- maybe we should
> > > start a list.
> > >
> > > We used the Arm's Reach for about the first
> month,
> > > but quickly moved to
> > > having her sleep in our bed after too many numb
> arms
> > > from reaching across
> > > the small divider. The warnings about
> co-sleeping
> > > are enormously inflated
> > > and based on people leaving babies alone in
> adult
> > > beds or sleeping with them
> > > while under the influence. To answer your
> questions
> > > more specifically:
> > >
> > > 1. Fitted sheets: We simply used newborn-sized
> > > blankets and tucked them
> > > around the sheet so there was no slack. It is
> > > important that there aren't
> > > loose sheets, but a tiny bit of give is
> inevitable.
> > > Just make sure the baby
> > > is on his or her back to sleep.
> > >
> > > 2. We found that by three months, our fears
> about
> > > the bed were soothed to
> > > the point where we did as most of the world does
> and
> > > simply brought her in
> > > with us, making sure there were no pillows or
> > > blankets around her face.
> > > She's 1.5 now and happily acrobating around the
> > > family bed.
> > >
> > > All that said, it attaches so nicely that if
> your
> > > baby is a sort who doesn't
> > > require physical contact to feel comfortable at
> > > night -- and it seems there
> > > are many babies who prefer it that way -- it
> should
> > > work for you. Ours likes
> > > to cuddle so we outgrew it quickly.
> > >
> > > --Tom C.
>
>
>
>


__________________________________________________
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Laureen

...and of course, the Big EC List, here:
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/eliminationcommunication/

1800+ folks and growing...

On 12/16/06, Mara <mamadeluz@...> wrote:
>
> Hi Chris,
> I truly do believe intuition is your best insurance,
> so I wish you a wonderful, magical birth!
> A wonderful email list and resource for the EC is the
> diaperfreebaby.org website and list.
>





--
~~L!

~ * ~ ~ * ~ ~ * ~ ~ * ~ ~ * ~
Writing here:
http://excellentadventure.wordpress.com/
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Publishing here:
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~ * ~ ~ * ~ ~ * ~ ~ * ~ ~ * ~


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Laureen

Heya!

On 12/15/06, Chris Cade <chris@...> wrote:
> One of the reasons we leaned towards the co-sleeper instead of having the child in the bed with us is that we read some articles with warnings about co-sleeping with infants and not having comforters or any soft/plush bedding, as well as general sleep disturbances for people in the bed (I have had some challenges sleeping already, so we did not want to exasperate that issue any more than is already going to be necessary).

Chris, I'd like to suggest that you wrap your head around the idea
that your children will make sleep challenging pretty much forever...
=) I personally woke up every hour or so just to listen to my first
baby breathe. =) We did use the co-sleeper, until my DS#1 was about
two months old, and I figured out that 1) the co-sleeping research you
refer to above is 99% sponsored by crib manufacturers, and 2) my son
slept better in physical contact with one of us.

> 1) It came with a single fitted sheet, and says to only use approved fitted sheets or those that are equally/correctly sized. Does this mean that we shouldn't have any other sheets/blankets, so our child just sleeps in whatever clothes it has on? Or are there specific non-fitted sheets we should purchase/make?

Keep in mind that most of these instructions are liability-based, not
sanity or real-world based, so please apply common sense more than
following directions. Use whatever sheets work, dress your baby in
whatever the baby's most comfortable in!

> 2) It says to only use the Co-Sleeper up until 3 months of age (or when the baby can sit/crawl/kneel). What did you do after 3 months of age?

Use it as a place to store the potty (we also did EC from birth),
tissues, water bottle, etc.....
>
> Currently we don't have a nursery planned because we are planning to do attachment parenting, so we didn't purchase a crib either (even just to keep next to our bed).

Oh good! Nurseries are sorta weird, and create a ton more work for the
parents, IMO.

> Any thoughts/suggestions/advice along these lines would be greatly appreciated. We are also planning an unassisted home birth, unschooling, and elimination communication.

GOOD FOR YOU!!!!!! My first was one of those "save the baby" cesareans
that upon research, I figured out was utterly bogus, and for doctor
convenience. My second was a mostly-unassisted homebirth. It's the way
to go, for more reasons than would be On-Topic for this list. =)

As for EC... I did it from 2 months with my first boy, from birth with
my second, and I'm one of the moderators on the big EC list. Honestly,
I cannot imagine raising a child without it. So so so many things that
are passed off by our culture as "baby is fussy" is "baby is telling
you they have to potty!!!". I really feel that this is one more way to
meet your child's needs, from birth, and is a serious trust-building
activity.

Good on you for doing the work to give your babe the best start!!!!!

--
~~L!

~ * ~ ~ * ~ ~ * ~ ~ * ~ ~ * ~
Writing here:
http://excellentadventure.wordpress.com/
http://elementalmom.blogspot.com/
http://lifewithoutschool.typepad.com/

Publishing here:
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~ * ~ ~ * ~ ~ * ~ ~ * ~ ~ * ~

plaidpanties666

--- In [email protected], "wuweimama"
<wuweimama@...> wrote:
>>The mama will
> be very in tune with the baby's sleep cycles. We actually awaken in
> our own sleep cycle at about 90 minutes; and babies often wake at
> around 100 minutes as infants. So, mamas who co-sleep come into a
> lighter sleep cycle just before babies awaken. We never had any
issues
> with rolling over, or off the bed, or anything like that either.
I'd
> just rouse around when our son would move or make any sounds. New
> mamas have heightened hearing at night, I have read. However, dh
was
> less aware in his sleep, so I generally slept in the middle of the
> bed.

It was just the opposite with me and George - he is a lighter
sleeper and was better able to "tune in" to Mo's cycles. I would
either not sleep at all with her next to me or sleep like a rock and
he would have to wake me up anyway.

We started out with a futon on the floor and Mo on a cusion an arm's
length away from me. Once we got a stand for the futon Mo moved to a
crib with the siderail down - on George's side. We put a mat across
the intersection once she started moving around - she did the scoot-
with-the-feet thing before she could turn over.

The only problem we had with sheets and blankets is one we still
have: Mo kicks them off in her sleep. As a baby she could get out of
any kind of swaddling - we made jokes about our baby-Houdini ;)

---Meredith (Mo 5, Ray 13)

Chris

Comments in-line, Laureen :)

--- In [email protected], Laureen <splashing@...> wrote:
>
> Heya!
>
> Chris, I'd like to suggest that you wrap your head around the idea
> that your children will make sleep challenging pretty much forever...

I've been trying to avoid/delude/ignore/disassociate from such
thoughts. :)

In all seriousness though, sleep is pretty big for me and it's been a
challenge ever since moving in with Laura. With that in mind, we'll
certainly be looking for ways to balance that out as best as we can,
so we'll see what works and then as time progresses try new things if
we notice the existing things not working. I used to be a software
tester, so I'm used to exhausting all sorts of different and creative
avenues to find what works best.

> 1) the co-sleeping research you
> refer to above is 99% sponsored by crib manufacturers, and 2) my son
> slept better in physical contact with one of us.
>
> Keep in mind that most of these instructions are liability-based, not
> sanity or real-world based, so please apply common sense more than
> following directions. Use whatever sheets work, dress your baby in
> whatever the baby's most comfortable in!

That's what I figured was the case, which is why I figured I would ask
and get real-world opinions from those who have been in my shoes. I
always try to learn from the experiences of others as I walk my own
paths and see what ultimately works for me. I figure the more
perspectives I have, the better picture I have for options I may want
to consider.

> Use it as a place to store the potty (we also did EC from birth),
> tissues, water bottle, etc.....

Funny you should mention this, because as soon as others said, "The
co-sleeper is a waste of money and you'll never use it" we figured it
would be a great place to keep the potty near the bed if we do switch
to a closer-knit co-sleeping situation.

> Oh good! Nurseries are sorta weird, and create a ton more work for the
> parents, IMO.

That's what we felt as well, but given that both Laura and I come from
very traditional backgrounds we find many challenges in pursuing
radically alternative lifestyles. For that reason, we try to ask a
lot of questions and do a lot of research.

> As for EC... I did it from 2 months with my first boy, from birth with
> my second, and I'm one of the moderators on the big EC list. Honestly,
> I cannot imagine raising a child without it. So so so many things that
> are passed off by our culture as "baby is fussy" is "baby is telling
> you they have to potty!!!". I really feel that this is one more way to
> meet your child's needs, from birth, and is a serious trust-building
> activity.

That's what I've gathered from everything that we've read, and I am
already on that EC list, in addition to two other local ones (SF Bay
Area) that I joined recently.

For now, we've bought about a dozen cloth diapers and are hoping that
it was an over-purchase during EC. Also, can't wait to read our book
on sign language for babies.

> Good on you for doing the work to give your babe the best start!!!!!

Thanks!

It is very amazing, as Adriana said in another post -- all these
things sort of tie together with unschooling as there's a sort of
snowball effect as one thing leads to another which leads to another
and so on and so forth. :)

-Chris

MrsStranahan

Hi Chris (and group),

I've never used the co-sleeper but I've had two unassisted births and get
too excited whenever the topic comes up to not chime in.

Are you and your partner on the Unassisted Childbirth email list? That was a
huge resource for me. I read Emergency Childbirth as well ... I laughed at
the line, "any reasonably intelligent 8 year old can deliver a baby." I also
really liked Active
Birth<http://www.amazon.com/Active-Birth-Approach-Naturally-Revised/dp/1558320385>(amazon
link). That one really encouraged me to move around and stay upright
during labor.

My first birth was a traditional drug filled micro-managed affair at a
hospital and it was awful. I wouldn't wish that on anyone.

I can go on and on and on about this stuff so I should stop.

Lauren



On 12/17/06, Chris <chris@...> wrote:
>
> Comments in-line, Laureen :)
>
> --- In [email protected]<unschoolingbasics%40yahoogroups.com>,
> Laureen <splashing@...> wrote:
> >
> > Heya!
> >
> > Chris, I'd like to suggest that you wrap your head around the idea
> > that your children will make sleep challenging pretty much forever...
>
> I've been trying to avoid/delude/ignore/disassociate from such
> thoughts. :)
>
> In all seriousness though, sleep is pretty big for me and it's been a
> challenge ever since moving in with Laura. With that in mind, we'll
> certainly be looking for ways to balance that out as best as we can,
> so we'll see what works and then as time progresses try new things if
> we notice the existing things not working. I used to be a software
> tester, so I'm used to exhausting all sorts of different and creative
> avenues to find what works best.
>
> > 1) the co-sleeping research you
> > refer to above is 99% sponsored by crib manufacturers, and 2) my son
> > slept better in physical contact with one of us.
> >
> > Keep in mind that most of these instructions are liability-based, not
> > sanity or real-world based, so please apply common sense more than
> > following directions. Use whatever sheets work, dress your baby in
> > whatever the baby's most comfortable in!
>
> That's what I figured was the case, which is why I figured I would ask
> and get real-world opinions from those who have been in my shoes. I
> always try to learn from the experiences of others as I walk my own
> paths and see what ultimately works for me. I figure the more
> perspectives I have, the better picture I have for options I may want
> to consider.
>
> > Use it as a place to store the potty (we also did EC from birth),
> > tissues, water bottle, etc.....
>
> Funny you should mention this, because as soon as others said, "The
> co-sleeper is a waste of money and you'll never use it" we figured it
> would be a great place to keep the potty near the bed if we do switch
> to a closer-knit co-sleeping situation.
>
> > Oh good! Nurseries are sorta weird, and create a ton more work for the
> > parents, IMO.
>
> That's what we felt as well, but given that both Laura and I come from
> very traditional backgrounds we find many challenges in pursuing
> radically alternative lifestyles. For that reason, we try to ask a
> lot of questions and do a lot of research.
>
> > As for EC... I did it from 2 months with my first boy, from birth with
> > my second, and I'm one of the moderators on the big EC list. Honestly,
> > I cannot imagine raising a child without it. So so so many things that
> > are passed off by our culture as "baby is fussy" is "baby is telling
> > you they have to potty!!!". I really feel that this is one more way to
> > meet your child's needs, from birth, and is a serious trust-building
> > activity.
>
> That's what I've gathered from everything that we've read, and I am
> already on that EC list, in addition to two other local ones (SF Bay
> Area) that I joined recently.
>
> For now, we've bought about a dozen cloth diapers and are hoping that
> it was an over-purchase during EC. Also, can't wait to read our book
> on sign language for babies.
>
> > Good on you for doing the work to give your babe the best start!!!!!
>
> Thanks!
>
> It is very amazing, as Adriana said in another post -- all these
> things sort of tie together with unschooling as there's a sort of
> snowball effect as one thing leads to another which leads to another
> and so on and so forth. :)
>
> -Chris
>
>
>


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]