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Kelli,
My girls are now aged 17 and 14. The oldest is still in public high school. She homeschooled for a brief period in 8th grade, but did not like homeschooling and went back to a charter school, then on to a traditional High School. She really does not like High School, and last year she wanted to take the California High School Proficiency Exam and leave, which I fully supported, but when she told her teachers at school, they convinced her it was a bad idea, that it would never "look as good" as a regular high school diploma, blah blah blah. So she is sticking it out and will graduate this year. I can go on and on about how much I hate how that High School runs her life and how the decisions made are not in the child's best interest. For example, last year she was in Chemistry adn was struggling because the teacher was not recording her work. At one point, she came home with a D progress report and we had to sift through the trash to find assignments that she had completed and that
were never recorded. We were unable to retreive them all as the garbage had gone out the previous week. (It turned out the teacher had a brain tumor and died!) She was also continually marking her absent for some reason when she was in fact in class. Anyway, I asked the school principal if she could repeat the course at the community college during the winter semester and drop the first period chemistry. This would have given her college credit, erased the bad grades she had received and given her the experience of attending college as well as completing the requirement in half the year instead of a full year, so she could potentially explore something else. He said there was NO WAY she was going to "get away with" sleeping in, they would not sign approval for the college course (required in CA) since the course was offered at the High School (against their policy), and if she dropped Chemistry (which she hated) to take a course NOT offered at the high school, like Marine Biology
or Oceanography(which she has an interest in), she would still be required to hold a full schedule at the school, which was too much work for her. They also run the school like a prison. My youngest daughter is unschooling by choice. She is new to unschooling since she has been in school through the eighth grade. (Public K-6, private 7-8). She has always hated school and begged me to "home teach" her all of grades 1-3. I had to work for financial reasons and felt I could not do it. She became very depressed the last year she was in school so I told her to just quit. Anyway, she is in the deschooling period. She decided on unschooling rather than homeschooling on her own after attending Not Back to School Camp last august. As for TV, I am noticing she is beginning to make different choices in her viewing habits. Mainly she watches "That Seventies Show." But I am noticing she is watching Discovery a lot more. And asking good questions about things and engaging in more meaningful c
onversations. School institutionalized her and dumbed her down.
thanks for asking! Good luck with your little ones.
Kathryn

-------------- Original message --------------
From: Chris and Kelli Bailey <cdbailey_99@...>
kathryn,

as you read, dh and i got rid of cable service because
of the ridiculous fees, but chose to KEEP it off
because we saw a dramatic improvement in *our*
behaviors and attitudes. nothing to do with the kids!

our kids are small yet...just 8, 5, and 2. we plan to
keep it off until they ask for it, at which time we
will re-evaluate the choice. maybe by then we will be
able to choose the specific channels we wish to
purchase!

i don't feel we are "missing" anything and the kids
definitely don't think so. they know some of their
friends watch shows that are unknown to them, but
haven't yet asked why WE don't have those shows. the
day will come, though, and that's fine.

for now ds8 becomes very impatient when commercials
run and "ruin" the program he is trying to watch at
gram's house! LOL we have used commercials as a
jumping-off point for discussing advertising in
general, so that's been a fun experience for all of
us. :)

btw, how old are your children now and are they still
in school?

kelli

--- airokat@... wrote:

> <<i'm
> amazed at how many conversations everywhere we go
> are
> about these network shows and at how people become
> obsessed with the details of these tv characters'
> lives! LOL>>
>
> Kelli,
> We did the same thing for a year-completely cut the
> cable service. I did it because it angered me that I
> could not select the channels I wanted, I was forced
> to purchase a whole package when I only wanted some
> of the channels in the package. I believe you should
> be able to "menu select" the channels you want to
> pay for. Anyway, I also noticed how much people's
> conversations revolved around ficticious people's
> lives in television shows, and my kids felt left out
> because they were not able to follow what the other
> kids (at school, of course) were talking about. (I
> would have preferred to raise my kids without
> television but I lost out on the issue.) What
> disgusts me is the abundance of television shows
> that revolve around the gruesome murder of someone,
> usually female. These shows are sometimes fiction,
> (like CSI) but often are crime shows depicting real
> cases of brutality against (mainly) young women.
> Personally, I think it normalizes violence against
> women, but thats just my opini
> on. There are also shows glorifying the merits of
> cosmetic surgery, and the proliferation of "airhead"
> female characters who make being stupid look cool
> and desireable. Then there's the soft core porn,
> like the
> Paris-Hilton-gets-off-with-a-hamburger-during-half
> time genre, and the girls in underwear gyrating
> their crotch in the face of music artists on BET.
> Unfortunately my kids dont choose the History
> channel, they choose that crap. We now have limited
> cable, but the clamor is up for the full package.
> Commercials are largely annoying to me as well.
> There is a rare good one, but they play them over
> and over, sometimes back to back, and the volume
> automatically goes up when the commercials come on.
> Overall, I dont believe television has had a
> positive influence on our family life. When we got
> rid of it for that year, our conversations were more
> in-depth and stimulating and we had more choice of
> what to bring in to our living room by choosing
> movies to rent. With TV, unless you are e
> xtremely proactive with the remote, you get
> bombarded with a lot of crap. I am probably a
> minority opinion here, but I agree with the folks
> with the "shoot your television" bumper stickers on
> thier car. I have a close friend in England who has
> not had a TV for over four years and he feels
> getting rid of the TV is a subversive act. My advice
> is that if your kids are young enough to not miss
> it, and you dont really want or need it, dont have
> TV. You can always get it later if you feel the
> need.
> Kathryn
>
>
> -------------- Original message --------------
> From: Chris and Kelli Bailey <cdbailey_99@...>
>
> our family's experience (not very unschooly, i
> know):
>
> when dh and i had cable, we watched it too much. by
> too much, i mean it was easier to be passively
> entertained than to "do" anything. i spent weekdays
> in
> front of decorating shows and weekend mornings in
> front of gardening shows. i dreamed and schemed and
> spent way too much mental money, my head always full
> of projects i couldn't take on. dh spent evenings
> and
> weekend afternoons in front of the history channel.
>
> we became annoyed when our cable company raised
> rates
> twice in one year, so we just cut it off one day. we
> thought it would be "good for the kids" anyway,
> because frankly we didn't want them seeing all those
> awful commercials :)
>
> i didn't want an antenna on the roof (don't laugh!)
> so
> dh decided to get an attic antenna. weeks passed and
> we didn't get around to it. eventually we forgot. we
> rented movies from video stores, purchased them at
> yard sales and borrowed from the library. we played
> card games and board games after dinner and read
> aloud
> much more often. we eventually became comfortable
> with
> not having cable and stopped missing it. believe it
> or
> not, it took quite awhile (about three months) and
> now
> both of us will tell you, if asked, that we are glad
> it worked out this way. for whatever reason the tv
> distracted us from one another. whether we were
> "addicted" or watching what many consider a "normal"
> amount of tv is up to the individual; we feel that
> our
> family benefited from us tossing the tube.
>
> notice there's nothing here about how much tv the
> kids
> were watching?!! LOL
>
> it's been almost four years since we cut the cable
> service. what's really funny is that people think
> it's
> very "strange" that we don't have access to tv at
> all
> in our home. they are truly amazed that we "get
> along"
> without the tv news broadcasts and reality shows.
> they
> unashamedly gasp and say they don't think they could
> do it (much the same as when people say they don't
> see
> how i "stay home" with our three kids all day). i'm
> amazed at how many conversations everywhere we go
> are
> about these network shows and at how people become
> obsessed with the details of these tv characters'
> lives! LOL
>
> in my fantasy world, the discovery channel, history
> channel, animal planet and home and garden
> television
> are available commercial-free and free of charge!
> LOL
>
> my 2 cents...hope it helped!
> kelli
>
> --- kristina <angelhair45@...> wrote:
>
> > This is my constant turmoil. My son is 2.5. We
> > didn't really allow
> > movies/tv untill just after his second birthday. I
> > am constantly torn
> > on how much is too much. Should I limit how much
> he
> > watches. Is it
> > true that tv stunts learning and creativity? I was
> > limiting it to
> > only about 3 hours a week, but I think I created
> the
> > forbidden fruit
> > by that. Now I'm trying to not limit it, but I'm
> so
> > worried that I'm
> > letting him watch too much. Before I started
> > venturing into
> > unschooling I had thought I wanted to prevent a a
> > tv-holic at all
> > costs, but now I'm seeing that it may be a tool
> for
> > his learning. I
> > guess I need someone to dialouge with and help me
> to
> > see it at
> > different angles. My fear of screwing up my kid is
> > preventing me from
> > seeing clearly.
> >
> >
> >
>
>
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>
>
>
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> removed]
>
>

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Chris and Kelli Bailey

kathryn,

what a sad but common high school story! i am so happy
my children will avoid living under the time
constraints imposed by schools. ds8 already has an
idea of what school is like based on what his schooled
friends tell him. as of right now, he believes he'll
never want to go to school! LOL

sounds like your dd14 is coming home just in time.
good for you for encouraging her to take her life
back! :)

will your dd17 have time to deschool before moving on
to the "next big thing"--college or whatever? sounds
like she is worried about transcripts and such...

they are sooo lucky to have a mom who truly looks out
for their best interests. good luck helping them
relearn enjoyment of life. are you enjoying life too?

:) kelli


> thanks for asking! Good luck with your little ones.
> Kathryn




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<<will your dd17 have time to deschool before moving on
to the "next big thing"--college or whatever? sounds
like she is worried about transcripts and such...>>

I think she plans to attend in the fall. She may go to community college and take it easy for awhile and is also applying to San Francisco State University. We went to a College Fair at UCBerkeley some weeks ago and there was a display on a "leap year" program where kids can take time off and go to the south pacific to do community development projects and also have free time. She is SCUBA certified and there is a good bit of time spent in Australia in the great barrier reef area. I think something like that would be great, but she is not interested in leaving the area at this time. Only time will tell as she makes her own decisions. She has some intriguing interests, like forensic artistry and psychological profiling.

<<they are sooo lucky to have a mom who truly looks out
for their best interests. good luck helping them
relearn enjoyment of life. are you enjoying life too?>>

Quite honestly not as much as I would like to be! We are overextended financially and going through a process of downsizing. My husband has been off work due to back surgery so he is on disability at the moment. I have had to pick up extra responsibilities with my aging parents as they gave up driving a few months ago, which means on my days off I have to take my mom to medical appointments and run their errands. I am going on a voluntarily reduced work schedule in January so there will be more time off. Ideally, I would like to quit my job, but after my husbands back went out, I am glad I did not, because now I am the primary breadwinner. I see things getting easier after the first of the year so I am hanging in there.
Kathryn

-------------- Original message --------------
From: Chris and Kelli Bailey <cdbailey_99@...>
kathryn,

what a sad but common high school story! i am so happy
my children will avoid living under the time
constraints imposed by schools. ds8 already has an
idea of what school is like based on what his schooled
friends tell him. as of right now, he believes he'll
never want to go to school! LOL

sounds like your dd14 is coming home just in time.
good for you for encouraging her to take her life
back! :)

will your dd17 have time to deschool before moving on
to the "next big thing"--college or whatever? sounds
like she is worried about transcripts and such...

they are sooo lucky to have a mom who truly looks out
for their best interests. good luck helping them
relearn enjoyment of life. are you enjoying life too?

:) kelli

> thanks for asking! Good luck with your little ones.
> Kathryn

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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Chris and Kelli Bailey

> We went to a College Fair at UCBerkeley some weeks
> ago and there was a display on a "leap year" program
> where kids can take time off and go to the south
> pacific to do community development projects and
> also have free time. She is SCUBA certified and
> there is a good bit of time spent in Australia in
> the great barrier reef area.

wow, if i could do it all over again *sigh*

> Quite honestly not as much as I would like to be! We
> are overextended financially and going through a
> process of downsizing.

we downsized 2 years ago when my income stopped; i
know how difficult it can be. the first year is a very
difficult adjustment but it does get easier. hang in
there!

> My husband has been off work
> due to back surgery so he is on disability at the
> moment. I have had to pick up extra responsibilities
> with my aging parents as they gave up driving a few
> months ago, which means on my days off I have to
> take my mom to medical appointments and run their
> errands.

mom and dad are lucky to have you, too! :)


> Ideally, I would like to quit my job, but after my
> husbands back went out, I am glad I did not, because
> now I am the primary breadwinner. I see things
> getting easier after the first of the year so I am
> hanging in there.
> Kathryn

good luck with all the upcoming changes and try to
keep your positive attitude through it all! sounds
like you're a little overextended, but i'm a firm
believer in "what goes around comes around". life will
get easier and you'll be able to breathe, hopefully
sooner rather than later! *grin*

:) kelli





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Thanks, Kelli!
Kathryn

-------------- Original message --------------
From: Chris and Kelli Bailey <cdbailey_99@...>

> We went to a College Fair at UCBerkeley some weeks
> ago and there was a display on a "leap year" program
> where kids can take time off and go to the south
> pacific to do community development projects and
> also have free time. She is SCUBA certified and
> there is a good bit of time spent in Australia in
> the great barrier reef area.

wow, if i could do it all over again *sigh*

> Quite honestly not as much as I would like to be! We
> are overextended financially and going through a
> process of downsizing.

we downsized 2 years ago when my income stopped; i
know how difficult it can be. the first year is a very
difficult adjustment but it does get easier. hang in
there!

> My husband has been off work
> due to back surgery so he is on disability at the
> moment. I have had to pick up extra responsibilities
> with my aging parents as they gave up driving a few
> months ago, which means on my days off I have to
> take my mom to medical appointments and run their
> errands.

mom and dad are lucky to have you, too! :)

> Ideally, I would like to quit my job, but after my
> husbands back went out, I am glad I did not, because
> now I am the primary breadwinner. I see things
> getting easier after the first of the year so I am
> hanging in there.
> Kathryn

good luck with all the upcoming changes and try to
keep your positive attitude through it all! sounds
like you're a little overextended, but i'm a firm
believer in "what goes around comes around". life will
get easier and you'll be able to breathe, hopefully
sooner rather than later! *grin*

:) kelli

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