Julie v.

I have a question concerning learning to write with unschooling. We are fairly new to
unschooling, it's been approx. 6 months since we have embraced radical unschooling, and
our children are still quite young, 4.5 and 12 months old. Anyway our 4.5 year old has
never been interested in writing, I know I shouldn't compare him to other kids his age,
especially ones that go to school, but it just dawned on me the other day when I was
watching my nephew (age 4) write his family's names on a piece of paper, that Damek has
yet to write any letters. We also have some close friends (who are fellow unschoolers) and
their, just turned 3 year old, has been writing letters for a few months now.

How does writing happen naturally? I'm just wondering from others who have watched
this happen firsthand how it happens without sitting down and "teaching" them.

I just finished reading the article titled 'Jesse's Story' by Sue Whitson in the new issue of
Live Free Learn Free, and I think already it has put a lot of my fears to rest, and I conclude
that when he has a need/want to write then he will learn to write or ask his dad & I for
help?

I think the other thing that brought it to my attention was that my mother-in-law just gave
him a pre-school workbook and in there they had some kind of "writing" exercises where
you trace along the straight/diagonal lines to, I assume, get a feeling for writing. Damek
seemed like he was having fun doing the dot to dots in the book and the mazes, but he
doesn't like to color, so he said he wanted to skip the coloring pages, and then when he
came to these, he asked me what the dotted lines were for, and I told & showed him how
you trace them, and he just started drawing circles around the dotted lines saying "I do it
like this", and he had fun doing it his own way. Thank goodness it was me sitting down
with him rather than his Oma who gave him the book, because I'm sure she would have
promptly corrected him by saying "no, you are supposed to do it this way".

I would appreciate some more insight on this,

Thanks,

Julie

laura g

My kids are just 5 and 3. They both do some writing. My 3 year old mostly
his name and Mom are all he is interested in.. although he can write a some
other letters cause I have heard him tell his brother how to write them. My
5 year old writes things sometimes. He likes to copy the names from his
pokemon cards. He makes lists of things he wants to do but with pictures.
He will often ask me how to spell something and if there is a letter he
doesnt know how to write then he will ask how ot write it (hense his brother
showing him). This being said both my kids (my older son especially) like to
color and draw and seem to enjoy fine motor tasks. My 5 year old is very
good at cutting and has been a while. He likes art alot. I know other
people whose kids are in this age range and have absolutely no interest in
writing. I think that is very typical and nothing to worry about. Neither
of my kids like workbooks or tracing letters etc..


>From: "Julie v." <jlvw@...>
>Reply-To: [email protected]
>To: [email protected]
>Subject: [unschoolingbasics] Learning To Write
>Date: Mon, 30 Oct 2006 20:40:37 -0000
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>
>I have a question concerning learning to write with unschooling. We are
>fairly new to
>unschooling, it's been approx. 6 months since we have embraced radical
>unschooling, and
>our children are still quite young, 4.5 and 12 months old. Anyway our 4.5
>year old has
>never been interested in writing, I know I shouldn't compare him to other
>kids his age,
>especially ones that go to school, but it just dawned on me the other day
>when I was
>watching my nephew (age 4) write his family's names on a piece of paper,
>that Damek has
>yet to write any letters. We also have some close friends (who are fellow
>unschoolers) and
>their, just turned 3 year old, has been writing letters for a few months
>now.
>
>How does writing happen naturally? I'm just wondering from others who have
>watched
>this happen firsthand how it happens without sitting down and "teaching"
>them.
>
>I just finished reading the article titled 'Jesse's Story' by Sue Whitson
>in the new issue of
>Live Free Learn Free, and I think already it has put a lot of my fears to
>rest, and I conclude
>that when he has a need/want to write then he will learn to write or ask
>his dad & I for
>help?
>
>I think the other thing that brought it to my attention was that my
>mother-in-law just gave
>him a pre-school workbook and in there they had some kind of "writing"
>exercises where
>you trace along the straight/diagonal lines to, I assume, get a feeling for
>writing. Damek
>seemed like he was having fun doing the dot to dots in the book and the
>mazes, but he
>doesn't like to color, so he said he wanted to skip the coloring pages, and
>then when he
>came to these, he asked me what the dotted lines were for, and I told &
>showed him how
>you trace them, and he just started drawing circles around the dotted lines
>saying "I do it
>like this", and he had fun doing it his own way. Thank goodness it was me
>sitting down
>with him rather than his Oma who gave him the book, because I'm sure she
>would have
>promptly corrected him by saying "no, you are supposed to do it this way".
>
>I would appreciate some more insight on this,
>
>Thanks,
>
>Julie
>
>
>

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Joyce Fetteroll

On Oct 30, 2006, at 3:40 PM, Julie v. wrote:

> Anyway our 4.5 year old has never been interested in writing

Ask yourself why a 4.5 yo would need to write. What purpose would
writing serve his 4.5 yo self?

If no one is making your 4 yo nephew write, then he's doing it
because he thinks it's fun and challenging and interesting, because
it serve some internal need.

When your son finds a need to write, he'll write. There are things
you can do to help: keeping paper and things to write with freely
available. Offer to write down his stories for him. Ask him if he'd
like you to add a caption to a picture he's drawn (and be perfectly
okay if he says no), do Mad Libs with him when he's old enough to
find them funny (you fill in the blanks).

There are things you can do to make him want to avoid writing: worry
about it, pressure him even in a light "fun" way, make him.

> How does writing happen naturally? I'm just wondering from others
> who have watched
> this happen firsthand how it happens without sitting down and
> "teaching" them.

How did speaking happen without teaching?

People learn *anything* because they find it personally meaningful
(which can include fun!) and useful. And writing *is* useful! When
*he* needs to write, he'll write.

Joyce

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

[email protected]

-----Original Message-----
From: jlvw@...

I know I shouldn't compare him to other kids
his age, especially ones that go to school, but it just dawned on me
the other day when I
was watching my nephew (age 4) write his family's names on a piece of
paper, that
Damek has yet to write any letters. We also have some close friends
(who are fellow
unschoolers) and their, just turned 3 year old, has been writing
letters for a few months now.

-=-=-=-=-

Cameron and I were discussing this the other day. We've enjoyed
watching Duncan's progression in reading, writing, math, etc. Cameron's
old enough to *watch* it and be impressed.

Our conversation wandered into territory that I thought would make a
funny tongue-in-cheek article for Connections.

Please pardon my humor, but let's make some substitutions here:

I know I shouldn't compare him to other kids
his age, especially ones that go to school, but it just dawned on me
the other day when I
was watching my nephew (age 10) smoking, that
Damek has yet to smoke. We also have some close friends (who are
fellow
unschoolers) and their, just turned 9 year old, has been smoking
filterless Camels for a few months now.

or

I know I shouldn't compare him to other kids
his age, especially ones that go to school, but it just dawned on me
the other day when I
was watching my nephew (age 12) drinkng a beer, that
Damek has yet to drink any alcohol. We also have some close friends
(who are fellow
unschoolers) and their, just turned 11 year old, has been downing
vodka for a few months now.

or

I know I shouldn't compare him to other kids
his age, especially ones that go to school, but it just dawned on me
the other day when I
was watching my nephew (age 13) have sex with his girlfriend, that
Damek has yet to have sex. We also have some close friends (who are
fellow
unschoolers) and their, just turned 12 year old, has been getting it
on for a few months now.

or

I know I shouldn't compare him to other kids
his age, especially ones that go to school, but it just dawned on me
the other day when I
was watching my nephew (age 14) doing drugs, that
Damek has yet to even smoke pot. We also have some close friends (who
are fellow
unschoolers) and their, just turned 13 year old, has been shooting
heroin for a few months now.


Sooner isn't necessarily better.


I can't stress enough how silly it is to compare kids. They do it when
they are ready. Some will do it before they are ready if kept away from
it, and some will do it later if pushed. Patience and acceptance of Who
They Are NOW.

He's 4.5. Let him have a LIFE!


~Kelly

"Wisdom begins with Wonder." ~Socrates









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landvchapman

Before fully embracing unschooling, I waffled back and forth between
school at home and unschooling (without knowing that is what I was
doing) for a long time. (My DD's are 6 and 9). At the beginning of
last year I decided enough was enough (rolling eyes at myself) and
they were going to get the basics down! I printed worksheets, bought
those little laminate cards and books, made alphabet flash cards and
spelling lists, blah blah blah, yadda yadda yadda. We sat down
every morning, practice practice practice makes perfect y'know
(again rolling eyes at myself.) We struggled, and fought, and cried
everyday for 2 months. My youngest still didn't know her alphabet
and neither childs handwriting was where it *should* be. Finally, I
came to my senses and let it go. About a week later my youngest
picked up the phone book and a notebook and started writing. That
is the event that turned the tables for me. My then 5 year old
teaching HERSELF to write from the phonebook. Neither of my kids
are probably as proficient in writing as their schooled
counterparts. Who cares. I have no doubt it will get better
because now they write what interests them. It might be my "order"
when playing restaurant. It might be my name when they are making
me a card. It might be some unknown language that only they know
the code to. But they write, everyday! Practice practice practice
makes perfect y'know ;). Now I wonder why I even cared. But that is
another story for another day.

I know this didn't actually happen as naturally as you want it to
for your son. But it will happen. He'll come to you one day and
ask how to write *A* or he'll pick up a phone book and figure it out
for himself. Either way, soon enough he'll be writing, probably
everyday! My oldest, who has had to endure much more of my
craziness than my younger, struggles much more with writing than my
youngest does. She is typing *with her eyes closed* though. Funny,
we never fought about THAT :D.

Lynda

--- In [email protected], "Julie v." <jlvw@...>
wrote:
>
> I have a question concerning learning to write with unschooling.
We are fairly new to
> unschooling, it's been approx. 6 months since we have embraced
radical unschooling, and
> our children are still quite young, 4.5 and 12 months old. Anyway
our 4.5 year old has
> never been interested in writing, I know I shouldn't compare him
to other kids his age,
> especially ones that go to school, but it just dawned on me the
other day when I was
> watching my nephew (age 4) write his family's names on a piece of
paper, that Damek has
> yet to write any letters. We also have some close friends (who
are fellow unschoolers) and
> their, just turned 3 year old, has been writing letters for a few
months now.
>
> How does writing happen naturally? I'm just wondering from others
who have watched
> this happen firsthand how it happens without sitting down
and "teaching" them.
>
> I just finished reading the article titled 'Jesse's Story' by Sue
Whitson in the new issue of
> Live Free Learn Free, and I think already it has put a lot of my
fears to rest, and I conclude
> that when he has a need/want to write then he will learn to write
or ask his dad & I for
> help?
>
> I think the other thing that brought it to my attention was that
my mother-in-law just gave
> him a pre-school workbook and in there they had some kind
of "writing" exercises where
> you trace along the straight/diagonal lines to, I assume, get a
feeling for writing. Damek
> seemed like he was having fun doing the dot to dots in the book
and the mazes, but he
> doesn't like to color, so he said he wanted to skip the coloring
pages, and then when he
> came to these, he asked me what the dotted lines were for, and I
told & showed him how
> you trace them, and he just started drawing circles around the
dotted lines saying "I do it
> like this", and he had fun doing it his own way. Thank goodness
it was me sitting down
> with him rather than his Oma who gave him the book, because I'm
sure she would have
> promptly corrected him by saying "no, you are supposed to do it
this way".
>
> I would appreciate some more insight on this,
>
> Thanks,
>
> Julie
>

Ren Allen

"Ask yourself why a 4.5 yo would need to write. What purpose would
writing serve his 4.5 yo self?"

This is a really good thing to remember.
In our age of "earlier is better" people seem to think that very young
children SHOULD be learning to read, write and compute math on paper.
I don't think it's useful for most kids that age, so they SHOULD be
doing other things!:)

My 5y.o. writes letters that are made up occasionally, that's the
extent of his interest in writing at the moment. My 13 y.o. just found
real life uses for writing this last year and is writing beautifully now.
Would you be ok with your 8 y.o. not having an interest in reading or
writing? Your 11 y.o.? Mine was 12 before it became useful enough for
him to become fluent. Age matters not.

Ren
learninginfreedom.com

Rachel Skaggs

My 7 yr old only writes his name. Unless theres a paper to copy from and he'll do that happily. Yesterday he wanted to write me a note, so he came to me with his pencil and paper and asked me how to spell mom. He said he knew it started with m, so I told him the other letters. He then wrote on his paper, "mom Joe." That was his love note to me. Very very precious!

His writing isn't anywhere near what a 7 yr old in school would be, but really why would it need to be? I don't "make" him set down and do lesson work, so really he can just either copy the word from something or ask me. The main thing here is when he has a personal need/want to write something down, he'll find the way. He just recently started to LOVE to color. ~Our house is plastered with halloween coloring pages~ So we've been buying coloring books at every trip to town by his request. He also loves to draw. So without me trying to force him to write he's definitely strengthening those hand skills by coloring and drawing, which is his own way. My other 2 sons writing skills came by the same force. I also never force them to write in cursive, but my 12 yr old son the other day was asked to "sign" his name on his hunting license, so he now wants to learn to write in cursive. At his request, he wants me to write in cursive as he dictates to me. Then he goes
about trying to write in cursive.

I think what you need to remember is it's amazing what they learn when they are ready to learn. Not one of my 4 children were ready to learn to write at 4.5 yrs old.

Rachel


---------------------------------
Everyone is raving about the all-new Yahoo! Mail.

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Julie v.

Right now he is totally enamoured with anything space related (solar system, stars, moon,
ect...), and has been making up space related stories when he plays and recently has
begun asking me to write down what he tells me.

When you compare it to learning to speak, it just sounds like common sense that he will
learn eventually, I just need to trust him, which is what unschooling is all about right? I
guess people just learn anything, when they are interested, naturally.

Thanks,

Julie



>
> Ask yourself why a 4.5 yo would need to write. What purpose would
> writing serve his 4.5 yo self?
>
> If no one is making your 4 yo nephew write, then he's doing it
> because he thinks it's fun and challenging and interesting, because
> it serve some internal need.
>
> When your son finds a need to write, he'll write. There are things
> you can do to help: keeping paper and things to write with freely
> available. Offer to write down his stories for him. Ask him if he'd
> like you to add a caption to a picture he's drawn (and be perfectly
> okay if he says no), do Mad Libs with him when he's old enough to
> find them funny (you fill in the blanks).
>
> There are things you can do to make him want to avoid writing: worry
> about it, pressure him even in a light "fun" way, make him.
>
> > How does writing happen naturally? I'm just wondering from others
> > who have watched
> > this happen firsthand how it happens without sitting down and
> > "teaching" them.
>
> How did speaking happen without teaching?
>
> People learn *anything* because they find it personally meaningful
> (which can include fun!) and useful. And writing *is* useful! When
> *he* needs to write, he'll write.
>
> Joyce
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>

D Smith

"How does writing happen naturally? I'm just wondering
from others who have watched this happen firsthand how
it happens without sitting down and "teaching" them."

Before we discovered unschooling, Parker was 3 and I
read some tip about lamenating cards for children to
trace to learn how to write. I gave him the cards
after I made them and a marker. Okay so at first he
had tons of fun writing all over himself. But he did
learn to trace the letters. He loved them. But I
didn't really teach him anything. I let him play with
them. He writes his own way. Even at 5, he still likes
to get them out and play with them.

Hope that helps.



If we took a holiday... Took some time to celebrate... Just one day out of life... It would be so nice...
Danie



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Pamela Sorooshian

My 15 yo has written two novels and starts her third tomorrow
(NANOWRIMO).

She did not write almost anything until she was 12 or so.

When we don't try to teach kids "on schedule," they will learn at
widely varying times. One of my kids learned to read fluently at 3
years old and another at 8 years old. A 17 yo unschooler I know well
didn't learn to read until he was 12 or 13. It is to be expected. My
suggestion to you is to stop comparing your kid to other kids - look
ONLY at your own kid and notice what he IS doing, not what he isn't
doing. You never help a kid by focusing on what he doesn't know - you
help them by supporting what they ARE doing, what they enjoy, what
they are passionately pursuing. This is where trust is required for
unschooling parents - you have to be totally okay with kids learning
on their own timetable. You have to be so sure that the WILL learn
what they need to learn that you simply stop worrying about it - you
live each hour of each day enjoying what your kids are doing, not
feeling concerned about what they aren't doing.

Also - please be careful about words like "never" and "always." I bet
that at least a few times your 4 1/2 year old HAS been interested in
letters or words. And if you think in absolute terms, you'll miss
those moments when he IS interested, because they'll seem small and
insignificant to you.

Writing is about having something to say. The BEST road to writing is
lots and lots of great experiences, lots of discussion, lots of
pretend play, lots of stories and tv and movies and games and,
eventually, a reason to want to write something down. Every time he
tells you about a game he is playing or about the lego creation and
just made, or about what he did at his friend's house, or anything
else, THAT is him practicing "writing." Later, he'll learn to get it
on paper if there is reason for it, but that is just a technicality.

If you are worrying about the mechanics of writing letters - please
don't. ANY activity that involves him using his arms, hands, and
fingers, is helping him develop the muscles he'll eventually use in
writing. He doesn't need to actually BE writing to develop those
small muscles.

There is GREAT danger in too-early academics. I've seen it - I've
watched schools and homeschool parents doing academics with young
children and watched the children develop supposed learning
disabilities. I am firmly convinced that those disabilities would
never have arisen if the children were allowed to play and learn at
their own speed. Don't feel pangs of worry that your child is behind
other young children who appear to be doing academics - feel SORRY
for those families because they are very likely to be facing a number
of possible problems that result FROM pushing the early academics.
Even if they manage to not create learning disabilities, there lots
of other negative consequences possible. Please read "Miseducation:
Preschoolers at Risk" by David Elkind. His ideas and evidence is
applied to kids 5 and under - but I truly believe that his arguments
are equally true for older kids, too.

-pam



>> Anyway our 4.5 year old has never been interested in writing

Unschooling shirts, cups, bumper stickers, bags...
Live Love Learn
UNSCHOOL!
<http://www.cafepress.com/livelovelearn>





[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Pamela Sorooshian

On Oct 31, 2006, at 7:41 AM, Julie v. wrote:

> Right now he is totally enamoured with anything space related
> (solar system, stars, moon,
> ect...), and has been making up space related stories when he plays
> and recently has
> begun asking me to write down what he tells me.

I just read an article in Discover Magazine in which the author says
that it has been a bad idea for kids to be expected to memorize the
names of the planets in the solar system. He's not saying that just
because now what they learned is considered wrong (since Pluto is no
longer considered a planet). He says this:

"...such exercises have stunted the curiosity of an entire generation
of children by suggesting that memorizing a sequence of names is the
path to understanding the solar system."
Neil deGrasse Tyson
Discover Magazine November 2006 page 41

Anyway - you might want to get a copy of of that magazine because
there is all kinds of good stuff -- the article is called:
"Rethinking the Planets: Bye Bye Pluto, We Hardly Knew Ye."

-pam


Unschooling shirts, cups, bumper stickers, bags...
Live Love Learn
UNSCHOOL!
<http://www.cafepress.com/livelovelearn>





[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Pamela Sorooshian

On Oct 31, 2006, at 7:39 AM, Rachel Skaggs wrote:

> His writing isn't anywhere near what a 7 yr old in school would be,

Neither are most 7 year olds who are IN school.

FEW of them are actually writing - they copy and they often can't
even do that very well.

Many 9 year olds, in school, aren't reading yet.

Just because something is "taught," doesn't mean kids are actually
learning it.

-pam

Unschooling shirts, cups, bumper stickers, bags...
Live Love Learn
UNSCHOOL!
<http://www.cafepress.com/livelovelearn>





[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]