Solé

Hi again,

there is another question I asked on the AU List, but I didn't get
many answers. I dunno if it was unwelcome or just drowned by so many
other postings (it's too much for me, I quit for the moment! :-)) and
if it is unwelcome here then just disregard (though maybe tell me
it's unwelcome so I know :-)) And since nothing has been going on
here the past few days you are surely all eager to finally reply to
*something* so here it comes ;-)

I have a hard time letting my friends know that I don't feel
"superior" just because I choose unschooling, on the other hand
knowing for myself that I can only do what I think is "best" for my
children and that I of course will choose this if I think it is
"better" than other "methods" (though I feel that unschooling is not
really a "method"). But my friend insist (and I feel that she has a
point there somehow) that I was saying that I'm superior
("supermom"), because "raising our kids with love and respect" is
something she says she is *of course* doing, even though she chooses
coercive methods; but that I, or unschoolers in general, by saying
that our relationships with our children will (probably, as a side
effect) turn out to be *more* respectful, that they trust *more* and
that they will be *happier* and that our kids are "free" (implying
that all other kids are "in prison" which of course is bad) quite
gives the impression as though we felt superior. Just *accepting* or
*tolerating* that others choose different things doesn't mean we
think what they're doing is "equally right" than what we are doing.

How can we avoid feeling this ourselves and far worse, that our
children grow up with this feeling of superiority (my parents did the
best, we are doing the "best" kind of education.. being "too" self-
confident)? Or maybe my question is, how can I avoid thinking that
*I*'m superior just because I choose unschooling? How do you avoid it
– is there a need to avoid it at all? Can you all say for yourself
that you *really* don't think unschooling is "better", thus, you are
kind of "superior"?

I don't think this is always a bad thing! It's just that people don't
want to hear that other people feel superior than they are. We all
choose to live (or should choose to live) the way we think is "best"
for us. And this same issue arises when it comes to religions, people
choose a religion and stick to it because they feel it's "better" or
"superior"(?) than others. If it didn't really matter, because all
religions are "equal" then we could choose whatever, maybe switching
each day! I feel like "of course I do what *I* find "best" and I
explicitly *don't* live by different principles, because *of course*
I find them inferior. Why would I choose something I don't like/find
"wrong"? you know what I mean?

Is it wrong at all to feel superior, as long as we don't try to
impose our values onto others? Does not everyone who is confident
with what he's doing feel kind of "better"?

Where am I thinking wrong? (I kind of don't feel OK thinking that
way, as I said I have a hard time saying I'm not superior, at the
same time feeling it a tiny bit o:-) )

I hope you understand what I'm trying to say...

Greetings
Johanna

[email protected]

-----Original Message-----
From: solelokuai@...

I have a hard time letting my friends know that I don't feel
"superior" just because I choose unschooling, on the other hand
knowing for myself that I can only do what I think is "best" for my
children and that I of course will choose this if I think it is
"better" than other "methods" (though I feel that unschooling is not
really a "method"). But my friend insist (and I feel that she has a
point there somehow) that I was saying that I'm superior
("supermom"), because "raising our kids with love and respect" is
something she says she is *of course* doing, even though she chooses
coercive methods; but that I, or unschoolers in general, by saying
that our relationships with our children will (probably, as a side
effect) turn out to be *more* respectful, that they trust *more* and
that they will be *happier* and that our kids are "free" (implying
that all other kids are "in prison" which of course is bad) quite
gives the impression as though we felt superior. Just *accepting* or
*tolerating* that others choose different things doesn't mean we
think what they're doing is "equally right" than what we are doing.

-=-=-=-

I agree with your friend. I DO think that what I'm doing is better.
That my way is superior.

If *she* doesn't think *her* way is superior to my way, why is she
doing her way? Why won't she change?

-=-=-=-=-

How can we avoid feeling this ourselves and far worse, that our
children grow up with this feeling of superiority (my parents did the
best, we are doing the "best" kind of education.. being "too" self-
confident)? Or maybe my question is, how can I avoid thinking that
*I*'m superior just because I choose unschooling? How do you avoid it
– is there a need to avoid it at all? Can you all say for yourself
that you *really* don't think unschooling is "better", thus, you are
kind of "superior"?

-=--=-=-=-

Why do you feel the need to be less than?

If you find another way to rear children that is better, PLEASE let us
know. I bet we would all jump on THAT bandwagon! I certainly want to
give my children the *best*---not second- or third-best!

I DON'T avoid it. I KNOW in my heart that this is the best I can strive
for.

-=-=-=-

I don't think this is always a bad thing! It's just that people don't
want to hear that other people feel superior than they are.

-=-=-=-

Then they can change and be better. I'm not responsible for *their*
feelings!

-=-=-=-

We all
choose to live (or should choose to live) the way we think is "best"
for us. And this same issue arises when it comes to religions, people
choose a religion and stick to it because they feel it's "better" or
"superior"(?) than others. If it didn't really matter, because all
religions are "equal" then we could choose whatever, maybe switching
each day! I feel like "of course I do what *I* find "best" and I
explicitly *don't* live by different principles, because *of course*
I find them inferior. Why would I choose something I don't like/find
"wrong"? you know what I mean?

-=-=-=

Uh huh! <g>

-=-=-=-

Is it wrong at all to feel superior, as long as we don't try to
impose our values onto others? Does not everyone who is confident
with what he's doing feel kind of "better"?

-=-=-=-

I can't change others. Only myself. I know I'm a better parent than my
own parents. I know I'm better than mainstream parents. I also know
where I'm lacking! <G> I revere Rue and Deb and Joyce as parents. I
wish they'd been *my* mothers! <g>

-=-=-=-=-

Where am I thinking wrong? (I kind of don't feel OK thinking that
way, as I said I have a hard time saying I'm not superior, at the
same time feeling it a tiny bit o:-) )

-=-=-=-

Step OUT of the socialist box! <G> Some things ARE better than others.
You feel guilty for having chosen a better path?

Shed the guilt. Be happy and confident in your decision. It'll
show---and when it does, it'll shut those detractors down!

~Kelly


________________________________________________________________________
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Solé

Hm, I don't know if this answer satisfies me. If everyone is doing
"the best they can", than nobody should be "superior".

> I agree with your friend. I DO think that what I'm doing is better.
> That my way is superior.
>
> If *she* doesn't think *her* way is superior to my way, why is she
> doing her way? Why won't she change?
>
>
I think she thinks her way is neither inferiour nor superior – she
thinks it's equally valid and who am I to say MY way is better. It's
like when someone is saying he knows "THE TRUTH" about all what life
is or God or religion. Who can know really what is "best" and what is
"the truth". I'm not convinced that people who are "hurt" by what
unschooling says, are "actually only hurt because deep inside they
know that what they are doing is wrong". I think some of them might
be really convinced that what they are doing is best for their
children and their family but just don't like the "arrogant"
behaviour of people who dare to talk as though they were superior.
They like to think – and I like to think – that we all are equal...
something like that :-)

> Then they can change and be better. I'm not responsible for *their*
> feelings!
>

Hm... it's just that unschoolers are kind of saying that it would be
best for ALL children (not only "I do what's best for MY children/OUR
situation") – and so implying that what they are doing is really
wrong. I don't think they FEEL inferiour, they just don't like people
who feel superior – I hope you see the difference! It makes us kind
of arrogant – daring to say we are doing it better ("I'm a better
parent than you are" is something that nobody would really say
because... I don't know it's just unfriendly, disrespectful? but by
talking about unschooling we sort of imply that we are better parents
so we say it anyway!)
>
> Step OUT of the socialist box! <G> Some things ARE better than others.
> You feel guilty for having chosen a better path?
>
No, for feeling superior although I can't say for sure I am – who
knows? How can you face someone you think is inferiour to yourself
and not feel strange? I don't like to be with people who are or who
think they are superior to me unless I admire them so much. I don't
like it because it feels strange, I cannot explain. Maybe because I
feel they won't respect any of what I might have to say. And just as
i want to respect my children's choices I want to respect all of
other people's choices but how can I then? How can I NOT make people
feel uncomfortable around me just because I think I'm "better" – I
cannot be that from now on, I can only surround myself with people
who think the same as I do!

> Shed the guilt. Be happy and confident in your decision. It'll
> show---and when it does, it'll shut those detractors down!
>
yeah I hope so – right now I'm feeling a bit discouraged again – it's
so hard. But I can't go back anyway ;-) (my daughter would certainly
not go back with me ;-) and I know better now, I don't want to. It's
still hard)

Johanna

Vickisue Gray

In my forty-some years, I have found it's best to keep my mouth shut about the choices I make (but fail to take my own advise since I'm speaking , lol). I nursed my first born for the first four months of her life. I worked full-time and had to express at work. The men were all kind and supportive. The ladies mean and vicious and extremely rude. The doctor told me to stop due to the large amount of hair I was shedding. He said it was due to stress. What persuaded me the most, was the hair was everywhere. When I started to have to untwine it from my daughters fingers, I was done. Fast forward seven years. When I had my son, I was lucky enough to be a stay home mom. I nursed him for eighteen months. Talk about people getting in your business. Understand, he was naturally weaning and down to one feeding at like five am. People really don't like when you do things 'different' then the crowd.

My own niece and nephew tried insulting my kids over the fact, they felt they where superior to my kids as they went to private school. Funny. My kids were also in private school. Later, my sister-in-law learned that her kids had actually been behind the public school system. I had switched my kids into the middle school gifted. My oldest is now taking six college level courses in eleventh grade. We also no longer socialize with them as their kids continue to try to act superior and my kids want nothing to do with them because of this.

The path my oldest is taking (currently learning her fourth language) is right for her but completely wrong for her sister, who is very musical. Both girls thrive in public school with lots of friends. My son? Three years of trying three different school types has lead to homeschooling and unschooling. He is back to being a happy kid. My eight year old is a reader. He reads everything he can get his hands on. He has a high IQ and is a quick learner. I found that it's best not to mention what he's learning when we get together with other homeschoolers. It's best (for us) to just get together for the friendship and avoid comparisons as that prevents anyone from feeling challenged, superior, or better-then-thou. I made the mistake of asking if my son could join the homeschool chess group (for 11+) and got snubbed for the effort. The fact that he has been playing for years and is rather good, did not make up for the fact he is numerically challenged. Go figure.

Well, I don't know if this answers your question. Even in my own home, people all have opinions on how things should be done. My spouse is against "unschooling" even though it works well. He was also against ever sending the youngest to school. My linguists thinks her brother will become a freak homeschooler and should just go to public school and learn to fight. My musical one, (my favorite opinion) says it's better for him not to have to suffer what he did in school and when he's ready to go back, if ever, he will ask.




Hi again,

there is another question I asked on the AU List, but I didn't get
many answers. I dunno if it was unwelcome or just drowned by so many
other postings (it's too much for me, I quit for the moment! :-)) and
if it is unwelcome here then just disregard (though maybe tell me
it's unwelcome so I know :-)) And since nothing has been going on
here the past few days you are surely all eager to finally reply to
*something* so here it comes ;-)

I have a hard time letting my friends know that I don't feel
"superior" just because I choose unschooling, on the other hand
knowing for myself that I can only do what I think is "best" for my
children and that I of course will choose this if I think it is
"better" than other "methods" (though I feel that unschooling is not
really a "method"). But my friend insist (and I feel that she has a
point there somehow) that I was saying that I'm superior
("supermom"), because "raising our kids with love and respect" is
something she says she is *of course* doing, even though she chooses
coercive methods; but that I, or unschoolers in general, by saying
that our relationships with our children will (probably, as a side
effect) turn out to be *more* respectful, that they trust *more* and
that they will be *happier* and that our kids are "free" (implying
that all other kids are "in prison" which of course is bad) quite
gives the impression as though we felt superior. Just *accepting* or
*tolerating* that others choose different things doesn't mean we
think what they're doing is "equally right" than what we are doing.

How can we avoid feeling this ourselves and far worse, that our
children grow up with this feeling of superiority (my parents did the
best, we are doing the "best" kind of education.. being "too" self-
confident)? Or maybe my question is, how can I avoid thinking that
*I*'m superior just because I choose unschooling? How do you avoid it
– is there a need to avoid it at all? Can you all say for yourself
that you *really* don't think unschooling is "better", thus, you are
kind of "superior"?

I don't think this is always a bad thing! It's just that people don't
want to hear that other people feel superior than they are. We all
choose to live (or should choose to live) the way we think is "best"
for us. And this same issue arises when it comes to religions, people
choose a religion and stick to it because they feel it's "better" or
"superior"(?) than others. If it didn't really matter, because all
religions are "equal" then we could choose whatever, maybe switching
each day! I feel like "of course I do what *I* find "best" and I
explicitly *don't* live by different principles, because *of course*
I find them inferior. Why would I choose something I don't like/find
"wrong"? you know what I mean?

Is it wrong at all to feel superior, as long as we don't try to
impose our values onto others? Does not everyone who is confident
with what he's doing feel kind of "better"?

Where am I thinking wrong? (I kind of don't feel OK thinking that
way, as I said I have a hard time saying I'm not superior, at the
same time feeling it a tiny bit o:-) )

I hope you understand what I'm trying to say...

Greetings
Johanna


Yahoo! Groups Links












---------------------------------
Get your own web address for just $1.99/1st yr. We'll help. Yahoo! Small Business.

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Ren Allen

"and I like to think – that we all are equal...
something like that :-)"

That's a really bad idea...equality that is.
If we're all equal, I'm sure the guy missing two legs or the lady that
is a paraplegic would like to know exactly HOW they are equal to me,
with full body health.
Equal isn't some ideal that should be upheld. Equal isn't even good.
If we were all equal, how would we all have our own purpose, our own
talents and skills?

Just because we idealize having "equal" rights or "equal" respect
doesn't even mean all humans deserve THAT. I don't think the guy that
is willing to kill and rape should have the same rights I have as a
law abiding citizen.

Feeling that one is making the very BEST choice in their life means
they believe their choice is better. Period. Not for everyone else,
but definitely the better choice. If you don't believe your choice is
best for you, then why did you choose it?

I don't think my choices are best for other humans, but I DO believe
they're best for ME. I don't think the parent hitting their kid or
being mean to their spouse or drinking too much is making better
choices than I am. Judgement can be a useful tool...it isn't there to
help us act like we're better than other people even if we think our
choices are better. Big difference to me.

If all choices are equal, then why not send your kid to school and hit
her? All choices are not equal, all human beings are not equal. That's ok.

Ren
learninginfreedom.com

Joanne

Hello Johanna,

>>>> my question is, how can I avoid thinking that *I*'m superior
just because I choose unschooling? How do you avoid it – is there a
need to avoid it at all?>>>>

The way we live is best for us...and only us. Our dynamics are
unlike anyone else. Yes, I think unschooling is a great way to live
and I gladly talk about it with someone if they want. When I hear a
parent complaining about school, I'll let them know that there's
another way, but will only go into details if they ask.

~ Joanne ~
Mom to Jacqueline (8), Shawna (11) & Cimion (13)
Adopted into our hearts October 2003
************************************
Unschooling Voices ~ Add Your Voice
www.foreverparents.com/UnschoolingVoices.html

[email protected]

-----Original Message-----
From: solelokuai@...

Hm, I don't know if this answer satisfies me. If everyone is doing
"the best they can", than nobody should be "superior".

-=-=-=-=-

Sorry my answer doesn't satisfy. I'll try agan.

-=-=-=-

I think she thinks her way is neither inferiour nor superior – she
thinks it's equally valid and who am I to say MY way is better.

-=-=-=-

And yet your subject line is "superiority"---why? And why the question
at all?

Do you not think what you're doing now is superior? If not, then why
change how you were raised?

Some people never feel the need to be better than they are. They will
sit right there and be happy with...whatever. Others see that they
*can* change, that they *can* be better---better parents, better
spouses, better people. THOSE are the people that will be looking for a
better way. For a superior way.

-=-=-=-=-

It's
like when someone is saying he knows "THE TRUTH" about all what life
is or God or religion. Who can know really what is "best" and what is
"the truth". I'm not convinced that people who are "hurt" by what
unschooling says, are "actually only hurt because deep inside they
know that what they are doing is wrong". I think some of them might
be really convinced that what they are doing is best for their
children and their family but just don't like the "arrogant"
behaviour of people who dare to talk as though they were superior.
They like to think – and I like to think – that we all are equal...
something like that :-)

-=-=-=-=-

We're not all equal.

This is funny---here you're saying we're all equal; but in the other
thread, you say we don't have equal opportunities.

I think the opposite. We're each individuals---very different---with
equal opportunities. <G>

If you're not comfortable questioning long-held "truths," you will
never outgrow those "truths." They will keep holding you back. Sme
people would rather hold on to old thinking than to bother to think at
all. They won't grow and change. AND they will keep thinking that the
old way is just as good---if not better than---some new way. Theres no
room in those heads for thought.

-=-=-=-=-


> Then they can change and be better. I'm not responsible for *their*
> feelings!
>

Hm... it's just that unschoolers are kind of saying that it would be
best for ALL children (not only "I do what's best for MY children/OUR
situation") – and so implying that what they are doing is really
wrong.

-=-=-=-

I think it would be best for all children. Not all parents
unfortunately. Coercing children to learn (something that is totally
natural) IS wrong! For all cildren.

But many parents are incapable of change. Or are abusive or mean. Or
are too controlling. Or think children's world's should be smaller, not
bigger. Those children are better off in school---away from such
parents.

-=-=-=-=-=-

I don't think they FEEL inferiour, they just don't like people
who feel superior – I hope you see the difference!

-=-=-=-

I don't. I think they DO feel inferior. I think they feel inferior in
the the eyes of those they see as different/superior. OR they feel
superior to the others who they think are wrong.

Does she really feel that your way is *equal* to hers? Or does she feel
that *you* are wrong ---and *she* feels superior to your flawed
thinking?

-=-=-=-=-

It makes us kind
of arrogant – daring to say we are doing it better ("I'm a better
parent than you are" is something that nobody would really say
because... I don't know it's just unfriendly, disrespectful? but by
talking about unschooling we sort of imply that we are better parents
so we say it anyway!)

-=-=-=-=

Sorry---*I* say it! <G> Im just careful *where*I say it! <BWG>

I KNOW its better. If I didn't, I'd be looking for a better way. I
*still* work at being a better parent every day. I'm not prefect, but I
am striving to be!

Aren't you?

Many people think that, if they're at *least* as good as their parents
(after all *they* turned out OK, right???), then they're doing just
fine. I want to be so much better than my parents were. I have a friend
who is a much better mom than her mom ever attempted to be, but she
still falls waaaay short of what she *could* be. She can't see it
because her sights were set lower than they could have been. But she's
happy with her level. Too bad for her kids. Hopefully, her kids will
strive a little more with *their* kids who'll strive a little harder
with their kids, and so on...but the whole process could be so much
further along had she cared enough to make some major changes.

-=-=-=-=-

No, for feeling superior although I can't say for sure I am – who
knows? How can you face someone you think is inferiour to yourself
and not feel strange?

-=-==-=-

I do feel strange, so I choose not to associate with folks like that
too much. It's infuriating when someone can't make that leap---no---who
WON'T make that leap---especially when its staring them in the face.

I much prefer to hang with other peaceful, gentle parents. I have a
pretty nice group pf them now! <G> Unfortunately, they live all over
the globe and not right next door! But we see each other as much as we
can.


-=-=-=-=-=-=-

I don't like to be with people who are or who
think they are superior to me unless I admire them so much. I don't
like it because it feels strange, I cannot explain. Maybe because I
feel they won't respect any of what I might have to say.

-=-=-=-

Oh--now, see...I prefer to hang out with people who are further along
than I am! I learn new stuff so much more quickly! But if you're on the
same path, people will fall over themsleves to help you get there---no
matter *WHAT* the issue! Parenting or politics or pizza-tossing!

-=-=-=-=-

And just as i want to respect my children's choices I want to respect
all of
other people's choices but how can I then?

-=-=-=-

Not all choices are worthy of respect. You respect the child molestor
and the rapist----because....?

If you really DO respect someone's choices, WHY? Why NOT?

-=-=-=-=-

How can I NOT make people
feel uncomfortable around me just because I think I'm "better" – I
cannot be that from now on, I can only surround myself with people
who think the same as I do!

-=-=-=-=-

Don't bring up the subject. Avoid talking about your choices. Avoid
talking about theirs.

-=-=-=-=-

> Shed the guilt. Be happy and confident in your decision. It'll
> show---and when it does, it'll shut those detractors down!
>
yeah I hope so – right now I'm feeling a bit discouraged again – it's
so hard. But I can't go back anyway ;-) (my daughter would certainly
not go back with me ;-) and I know better now, I don't want to. It's
still hard)

-=-=-=-=-=-=-

When we know better, we DO better. But to know better, we need to
question what we've been doing.

You're feeling discouraged because you're questioning?

That's a good sign! <bwg>

Keep questioning. My guess is that you'll be back to being encouraged
before too long. That's the problem with those that DON'T question:
they never have to worry about their decisions! <G>

~Kelly










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Check out the new AOL. Most comprehensive set of free safety and
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Michelle Leifur Reid

On 10/3/06, kbcdlovejo@... <kbcdlovejo@...> wrote:

> If you're not comfortable questioning long-held "truths," you will
> never outgrow those "truths." They will keep holding you back. Sme
> people would rather hold on to old thinking than to bother to think at
> all. They won't grow and change. AND they will keep thinking that the
> old way is just as good---if not better than---some new way. Theres no
> room in those heads for thought.
>

This is SO true. I also think for some people it is frightening to
think about things differently and to tempt a change would be
unbearably horrifying. I had someone ask me once why I worked so hard
to try to change something. "Why not just leave things the way they
are? Is this way really so awful that it needs changing?" She could
agree with me philosophically, but the action of that change was more
than what she could bear to comprehend.

I've met quite a few people who will listen to the theory of
unschooling and think that it is wonderful and "idealistic" but would
never attempt to unschool (themselves or their children) because it
wasn't the status quo. Thinking outside the box is sometimes easier
than acting outside the box.

Michelle - quite lost outside the box :-D

Lesa

>>>I've met quite a few people who will listen to the theory of
unschooling and think that it is wonderful and "idealistic" but would
never attempt to unschool (themselves or their children) because it
wasn't the status quo. Thinking outside the box is sometimes easier
than acting outside the box.<<<


That describes my mother perfectly! Argh!

Lesa
http://lifeacademy.homeschooljournal.net

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

[email protected]

In a message dated 10/3/2006 1:37:54 P.M. Eastern Daylight Time,
kbcdlovejo@... writes:

How can I NOT make people
feel uncomfortable around me just because I think I'm "better" – I
cannot be that from now on, I can only surround myself with people
who think the same as I do!

-=-=-=-=-

Don't bring up the subject. Avoid talking about your choices. Avoid
talking about theirs.



*************

I have run into this a bit. In a way, it is like not discussing religion or
politics with people that are your friends but hold different beliefs. My
social group where I live are nice enough people, but mostly into coercive
parenting and schooling. They currently have no desire to do differently. I
just don't talk about parenting with them and if the subject comes up, I change
the subject or find a reason to do something else (got to check on the
kids!).

If asked directly, I will talk about it, but that almost never happens. I
usually say something like "I've found what works for us!" I learned to
validate my children, and I've learned to talk to my friends in a non-judgmental
way. "Oh, that must be hard for you that Susie is flunking math, I hope that
works out well for everyone."

When people are ready, they will ask. I nursed my children for a long time,
and I was always supportive of my friend's choices to wean. Later, more
than one person told me that my example was what led them to nurse into
toddlerhood, even though they had weaned earlier babies. Sometimes, people just need
to know things are possible.....hey, Leslie has great kids and she isn't
always yelling at them....maybe I could learn how to do that, too. Leslie
homeschools her children and they seem fine, maybe I could do that, too.

I try not to think of myself as "superior". I believe we are all here
learning what we are supposed to be learning. But, of course, anytime you make a
deliberate choice, you are intentionally making the "better" choice for you.
So it is a little mixed up! And since we are trying to be better parents,
that does make us better than someone who is doing the same old thing. But I
*have* to be here doing this, it is the only thing that made sense to me. My
drive to be a better parent is undeniable! Someone else whose drive is to
make the environment clean might feel superior to me. That's cool, I'm glad
they are doing their thing.

So, do what is right for you and your kids. You might find your group of
friends changing a bit. That is OK. Wish them well, you might be their
inspiration to be a better parent. :)

Oh, and come here when you want to talk about how amazing unschooling life
is!

Take care, Leslie in SC


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Schuyler Waynforth

--- In [email protected], "Ren Allen"
<starsuncloud@...> wrote:
>
> "and I like to think – that we all are equal...
> something like that :-)"
>
> That's a really bad idea...equality that is.


One of my favorite images of equality is based on a story Kurt
Vonnegut wrote called Harrison Bergeron (its here:
http://instruct.westvalley.edu/lafave/hb.html). It's about a society
for whom equality is mandatory. If you are skilled or talented you
must be handicapped so as not to make others feel bad about their own
skills or lack thereof around you.

I think, as Kelly said, that equal opportunities are something to
aspire to, but equality, actual equalness among people, that isn't
real nor is it ideal.

Schuyler
www.waynforth.blogspot.com

Johanna

Translating one of Joyce's texts, I found this:

>>>As adults we think we know what's better because we're older. But
that superior attitude affects kids emotionally the same way it would
affect us as adults if someone felt their choices were superior to
ours and we knew they were judging us and our choices.<<<

That was what I meant with the superiority issue a few weeks ago! It
does affect adults as well when a friend suddenly thinks s/he is
superior. The difference though is, that parents who limit their
children's freedom not only judge and feel superior, they also
enforce what they think is best – which I don't do with my friends
(and not with my children anymore). It still feels bad for them.

Greetings
Johanna
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