frozenandcold

I just had to respond to this issue on food because I had a real life
experience yesterday that I thought I would share. We (my family) are
fairly healthy eaters; mostly vegetarian with lots of vegetables,
beans, and whole grains. My sister, who we are staying with at the
moment (Robin, not Ren), survives on frozen dinners, chips, sugary
cereal, etc. Let me preface though that even though we mostly eat
healthy I always keep chips, soda, poptarts, etc in my pantry for the
kids if they want it. Since being at my sisters I haven't stocked her
fridge like I normally stock mine. Yesterday Calista (7 years old)
came to me because she was hungry looking for something to eat so I
gave her the choices that were in the cupboards and fridge. She burst
into tears and said, "Mom, I want something HEALTHY!!!" They are
tired of eating processed food and her body is screaming at her to
stop!


I don't monitor my kids choice of foods AT ALL! We talk about what
food does after you swallow it and how it might make you feel but I
have plenty of junk food in my house. I also have very healthy food
out that is easy to get to; often leaving plates of fruits and
vegetables out on the table to nibble on all day along with the M&M's
and soda. Most of the time the fruits and vegetables disappear and
the M&M's are still there. They do learn to listen to their bodies
but sometimes it takes a little bit of time to figure it out.

I remember one time we made homemade dougnuts and Kevin ate 8 or 9 of
them and spent most of the night puking. He hasn't gorged on anything
since. He knows that if he wants more of something he can have it
tomorrow, he doesn't need to eat it ALL today.

Heidi

John and Amanda Slater

I have a food question: How do you let the children choose their food, and still sit down to dinner together. My 5 yo ds will sit and eat, normally, but 3 yo ds will not. Occasionally he will and just not have what we are. Last night ate a pint of strawberries while we had spaghetti. Tonight he was asleep. I do not stress food times, selection, or quantity during the day, but I don't know how to encourage him to sit with us at the table. We do not expect them to sit for more than 5-10 minutes, but I would like it to be a habit. His appetite is so small that anything will ruin it. I have tried to have him wait and sit down with us, but that often doesn't work.

Amanda


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Amy Mason

Thanks again to everyone for your input...so much has made sense to me
and given me hope. My kids were utterly delighted today when I told them
they could start cooking on the stove and making their own meals if they
wanted to.
Amy in WV

Michelle/Melbrigða

On 8/4/06, John and Amanda Slater <fourslaterz@...> wrote:
>
> Last night ate a pint of strawberries while we had spaghetti.


Strawberries are so good! They are sweet and filled with vitamin C and tons
of fiber. Not a bad dinner :)

Tonight he was asleep. I do not stress food times, selection, or quantity
> during the day, but I don't know how to encourage him to sit with us at the
> table. We do not expect them to sit for more than 5-10 minutes, but I would
> like it to be a habit. His appetite is so small that anything will ruin
> it. I have tried to have him wait and sit down with us, but that often
> doesn't work.


He's 3. That is so little. The thing that I believe is important to you
about "dinner time" is that it is the mainstream "family time." In an
unschooling household that doesn't have to be that way. As he gets older
and he sees those that want to sit at the table enjoying a family activity
he may sit with you at the table. He might not. He might eat with you and
again he might not. Forcing him there even for 5 or 10 minutes may be very
difficult for him. If being together as a family is important then find
other ways that you can do that at other times. It doesn't have to be at
meal time.

And maybe I'll beat Ren to this :) but isn't eating *anything* "ruining your
appetite?"





--
Michelle
aka Melbrigða
http://eventualknitting.blogspot.com
[email protected] - Homeschooling for the Medieval Recreationist


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Melissa

Our three yo sits long enough to play in the food and run. We do plan
a family meal time, i make one big meal with several options. Almost
every meal is one that the majority likes. Those who don't like it
are free to make something else.

If the goal is just to get the kid at the table, not about eating,
then toys, coloring, books, are all options for home, just like
they'd be at a restaurant. Something that we have done...when we got
our new table, we took the old one and cut about six inches off of
it. So that table is also in our dining room, and it has thomas legos
on it, and there's also a pile of baby toys beside it so that the
little ones can get down and play.We usually all come to the table,
say a blessing, share out what we want, and then the meal is really
about being together because daddy just got home from work. The
little ones are still in the area and part of the discussion.


Melissa
Mom to Josh (11), Breanna (9), Emily (7), Rachel (6), Sam (5), Dan
(3), and Avari Rose

share our lives at
http://360.yahoo.com/multimomma



On Aug 4, 2006, at 8:15 PM, John and Amanda Slater wrote:

> I have a food question: How do you let the children choose their
> food, and still sit down to dinner together. My 5 yo ds will sit
> and eat, normally, but 3 yo ds will not. Occasionally he will and
> just not have what we are. Last night ate a pint of strawberries
> while we had spaghetti. Tonight he was asleep. I do not stress food
> times, selection, or quantity during the day, but I don't know how
> to encourage him to sit with us at the table. We do not expect them
> to sit for more than 5-10 minutes, but I would like it to be a
> habit. His appetite is so small that anything will ruin it. I have
> tried to have him wait and sit down with us, but that often doesn't
> work.
>
> Amanda
>
>
> ---------------------------------
> Talk is cheap. Use Yahoo! Messenger to make PC-to-Phone calls.
> Great rates starting at 1¢/min.
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>
>
>



[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Angela S.

<I have a food question: How do you let the children choose their food, and
still sit down to dinner together.>



One way would be to have dinner when the kids are hungry and join them. But
I think more importantly, why do you feel the need to eat dinner together
every day? All those studies done on families who eat dinner together
getting better grades, doing less drugs, or what-have-you are based on
schooled kids who have limited time to spend talking with their parents. It
is the kids who have some type of connection and communication with their
parents who are less apt to do drugs as an escape and who are more apt to
work hard for good grades because their parents value it and they know that.
As an unschooled family we spend TONS of time together. We connect in
various ways through out the day. I listen to my kids while we play a game
or groom our horses or watch TV. Dinner time isn't the only time we come
face to face and talk and connect.



The reason that I write this is because I too felt the need to have family
dinners and have everyone sit down at one point. I think it was those
studies lurking somewhere in my head combined with the importance my family
or origin placed on dinner time. I didn't stop to think that those things
didn't apply to my family and I stressed a lot about it. When I let that
go and stopped worrying about who ate what at what time and if they'd be
hungry for dinner, it made my home a more joyful place. When I cook dinner
most often everyone sits down to eat it. Sometimes they don't and that's
ok. If they were busy on the computer someone might take theirs in to the
computer room to eat. Sometimes I will too and sometimes one of the kids
will ask me to eat with them. I always do if they want to. I put the left
overs in the fridge and I'll happily get some for anyone who wants some
later on. (if I am not exhausted and heading up to bed.sometimes then I do
it a little grumpily, but I'm working on that.)



Angela

game-enthusiast@...



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