Joanne

We have a gecko and fish currently. I have always enjoyed going into
pet stores and when my son and I are in the vicinity of one we do so
together. My husband is furious as he feels I am only encouraging my
son and he feels "set up".

My son expresses to me but not his dad that he would like another
pet. He seems to enjoy other kids pets and yearns for a pet to
cuddle. I ask him why he doesn't also talk about it with his dad
but never answers that question.

My son had a reaction a couple of times and he was tested for
allergies. He came back positive for both cats and dogs but since
that time he has been around both many times with little to no
reaction. He does have bad skin rashes but does so with or without
contact with animals. He refuses to put on the cream that the
doctor has offered. So I let it go and offer form time to time
figuring if he gets uncomfortable enough he might be willing to try
the cream again. (We have tried various creams and lotions and he
just hates the feel of them on his skin.)

My husband has been quite clear he doesn't want another pet in the
house. He has had surgeries and doesn't feel up to taking care of
it. He doesn't want a pet pooping inside our fence since my son runs
barefoot and he also has his garden. He doesn't want an inside cat
or rabbit. He actually doesn't seem open to exploring any options.

From an unschooling perspective how can I respect my dh's
preferences without giving up what my son and I
would enjoy?

Any suggestions would be appreciated.

Joanne (43)
dh: Charlie (50)
ds: Kevin (6)
Lake Carmel, NY

[email protected]

-----Original Message-----
From: oh.kneel@...

My husband has been quite clear he doesn't want another pet in the
house. He has had surgeries and doesn't feel up to taking care of
it.

-=-=-=-=-

Would he have to? Can you and your son cover everything? Can you
"guarantee" that?

-=-=-=-

He doesn't want a pet pooping inside our fence since my son runs
barefoot and he also has his garden.

-=-=-==-

Scoop the poop immediately afterwards. Every time. Every day. Son
agrees to wear shoes.

I keep my garden separate from the dogs because I don't want my beans
and asparagus and cukes and tomatoes peed on. I understand! <G> My dogs
know the command, "GETOUTTAMYGARDEN!" <g>

-=-=-==-

He doesn't want an inside cat
or rabbit. He actually doesn't seem open to exploring any options.

-=-=-=-=-

How about an outside rabbit? Ours lives outside. She has a *huge* (by
rabbit standards) above-ground cage. Bunnies can handle extremely cold
temperatures, as long as they have straw and and shelter and covering.
They canNOT handle heat. Clover is in a smaller "show bunny" cage this
week in the kitchen. When the temperature gets over 90 degrees, I bring
all the critters inside. I *could* put her in the garage, which is
tolerable, but I feel better when she is more comfortable.

But an outside bunny is a possibility, NO? OH! And tell him: bunny
poop is GREAT for the garden! <bwg>

-=-=-=-=-

From an unschooling perspective how can I respect my dh's
preferences without giving up what my son and I
would enjoy?

-=-=-=-

I think that if one person is truly against it, that may be the way it
needs to be to keep peace. That said, I'm a bit of an animal freak, and
am willing to look into options. <g>

Working at the wildlife rescue? they can't come home with him, but he
can go daily to care for/feed/rehabilitate them. You're not allowed to
get *too* attached, because they need to be released.

Help a local dog breeder. He could scoop poop and clean runs and take
care of the dogs when the breeder is gone on show weekends. He could
learn how to care for and groom and whelp even! Or go to shows as the
gopher. I always had a couple of girls (8-12 yo) tagging along with me!

I'm sorry there's no consensus on the pet issue, but that's a BIG one!



~Kelly

Kelly Lovejoy
Conference Coordinator
Live and Learn Unschooling Conference
http://liveandlearnconference.org

School's goal is to prepare them to be anything they want. But the
process is so dullifying and kids haven't explored the possibilities of
what they could be that many set their sites as low as possible. They
go to college to get a job to buy stuff. ~Joyce Fetteroll





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camden

Hi Joanne,

Have you considered the many pets that can be kept "caged" but still are accessible to Kevin ? Alex has a guinea pig and she loves to play out of her cage. Her mess is confined to the cage. You can get a baby yard to bring outside if Kevin wishes to bring her/him outside & you'll never notice the poop. Ours loves playing in the grass.

I don't have one but I've heard rats are great pets. What about a bird? You can train them to perch on your hand or shoulder.

Good luck,

Carol

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

[email protected]

-----Original Message-----
From: ccoutlaw@....

I don't have one but I've heard rats are great pets.

-=-=--

OOOH! Yes!

Rats are the best of the rodents! Smart. Clean. Friendly. Come when you
call! <G>

Don't get rats bred for snake food though! Get rats bred as show rats,
handled since birth, and well-socialized.

Be sure to get at least two---not just one. They're *very* social and
need a ratty partner.

We're down from four to one now. :-(


~Kelly

Kelly Lovejoy
Conference Coordinator
Live and Learn Unschooling Conference
http://liveandlearnconference.org

School's goal is to prepare them to be anything they want. But the
process is so dullifying and kids haven't explored the possibilities
of what they could be that many set their sites as low as possible.
They go to college to get a job to buy stuff. ~Joyce Fetteroll


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Michelle/Melbrigða

On 7/19/06, Joanne <oh.kneel@...> wrote:
> My husband has been quite clear he doesn't want another pet in the
> house.

What about a hand tamed hamster? I have a friend whose son has had
one for just over 2 years (it died this past weekend and lived a full
happy life). Hand tamed hamsters tend to love their owners. They like
sitting in their pockets and riding around on their shoulders. They
can be set lose in a "rodent ball" and are quite entertaining. Easy
to care for and as long as they eat the right kind of foods (and a
variety) their poop is fairly unsmelly and easy to clean up. Maybe a
compromise between dad and son. Perhaps if your son can show
responsibility for his hamster in a few years when the hamster goes to
the big hamster wheel in the sky dad may be a bit more open to a
larger pet with a longer life span.

--
Michelle
aka Melbrigða
http://eventualknitting.blogspot.com
[email protected] - Homeschooling for the Medieval Recreationist

jlh44music

> Rats are the best of the rodents! Smart. Clean. Friendly. Come when
you call! <G> Don't get rats bred for snake food though! Get rats bred
as show rats, handled since birth, and well-socialized.
Be sure to get at least two---not just one. They're *very* social and
need a ratty partner.>>>

I second the rats as great pets! We used to have 5 (boys and girls,
of course, 2 big cages!). They're very sweet, but they don't live
long (all of ours only lasted about 2 years each). I cried
everytime we lost one, but they were WONDERFUL! I just can't handle
losing them, so we didn't get any more. We're down to a cat (who
thinks she's a dog!), which is easy to have someone come in to feed
her when we go camping. Goldfish are really easy too!
Jann

D Smith

Don't get rats bred for snake food though! Get rats
bred as show rats, handled since birth, and
well-socialized.

Because snake food also tends to bite, and are usually
kept in crammed quarters.


Be sure to get at least two---not just one. They're
*very* social and need a ratty partner.

Just be sure they are of the same sex. lol At one time
I had 34. Not a good choice to have babies.

We're down from four to one now. :-(

~Kelly, I am so sorry. They just don't live long
enough. I had Jake for a long time in rat years. He
was such a sweetie, not that my other ones we not. But
he gave kisses. He will forever be missed in my heart.




If we took a holiday... Took some time to celebrate... Just one day out of life... It would be so nice...
Danie

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Malinda

>What about a bird? You can train them to perch on your hand or
shoulder>

A few notes about birds, although they can be terrific pets! They can
be incredibly messy and loud, depending on the bird you get. We had a
cockatiel...THE sweetest bird in the world (loved to be cuddled), but
she screamed bloody murder all day, every day if she wasn't with you.

Also, please never, ever train a bird to sit on your shoulder. It can
be very dangerous. My little cockatiel loved to sit on my shoulder
and nestle in my hair. Lots of fun and very sweet. She pecked at my
eye nearly a year ago, however, and I am still having to take regular
trips to the eye doc and have to medicate it daily because of that one
incident. If she had been a larger bird she would have done much more
damage.

Malinda

D Smith

Also, please never, ever train a bird to sit on your
shoulder. It can
be very dangerous. My little cockatiel loved to sit on
my shoulder
and nestle in my hair. Lots of fun and very sweet. She
pecked at my
eye nearly a year ago, however, and I am still having
to take regular
trips to the eye doc and have to medicate it daily
because of that one
incident. If she had been a larger bird she would have
done much more
damage.

Not only should birds not sit on your shoulder because
of that danger, but because then the bird thinks it is
the boss. It's all about being higher than you and
therefor the alpha bird so to speak.
I've had so many pets. Which is why I've chimmed in. I
also worked in a pet store and took my duty to gain
knowledge to actually help customers very seriously.
It's been handy. I have a son, who'd love to have
every pet, I'd love it too. If only we could afford
it.


If we took a holiday... Took some time to celebrate... Just one day out of life... It would be so nice...
Danie

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Michelle/Melbrigða

On 7/20/06, Malinda <saprswife@...> wrote:
> >What about a bird? You can train them to perch on your hand or
> shoulder>
>
> A few notes about birds, although they can be terrific pets! They can
> be incredibly messy and loud, depending on the bird you get. We had a
> cockatiel...THE sweetest bird in the world (loved to be cuddled), but
> she screamed bloody murder all day, every day if she wasn't with you.
>

Birds can also have extremely long life expectancies. Even parakeets
can live for 10+ years and larger birds like Cockatiels and parrots
can live for 50+ years. Many larger birds outlive their owners so it
is best to make sure that if you get a larger bird that you make
provisions for it in your will. We had a birdier in our group for a
while and she had several parrots that she had adopted because their
owners had passed on.

--
Michelle
aka Melbrigða
http://eventualknitting.blogspot.com
[email protected] - Homeschooling for the Medieval Recreationist

Beth Fleming

Michelle/Melbrigða <pamperedmichelle@...> wrote: On 7/20/06, Malinda <saprswife@...> wrote:
> >What about a bird? You can train them to perch on your hand or
> shoulder>
>
Another idea....hermit crabs! My kids each just got a small one (they're very cheap!) and we've learned so much about them. They're quite easy and very cute and interesting. And once they get used to you, there's really no fear of pinching. We found this to be one of the best web sites for a very infatuated hermie owner!
http://www.hermit-crabs.com/ we've already had two molts (this happens a lot when they're little)....it's very cool. I may just become a fanatic about hermit crabs, too!
Best of luck!
Peace,
Beth









Unschooling Mom to Frances (9), Will (7), Catherine (2), and Grace (6 months)
www.6uvus.blogspot.com

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