going to the Phillippines! and need ideas
Nicole Willoughby
My father has decided to pay for a trip to the Phillippines with him and my step mom for myself and my 7 year old. Im so excited! Ill get to meet my little sister and it will be a fantastic experience for Courtney and I.
I also have a 3 and will be 5 when we leave that I have to find care for while my husband is at work. The 5 year old is severly autistic, dosent speak, screams a ton, loves to bite people and loves to strip. ( Im sorry he does have good qualities too Im just pulling my hair out with him )
We just moved to a new place so I dont know anyone yet. The few friends/ family that are even remotely close either cant handle or dont want to care for him .
So any ideas on who to call? What to do?
Also ..........my 7 year old is still debating on going to school or not....I think she has decided on not becasue its much more fun to go to work with daddy and play at the park than sit in school ......but on the remote chance that she decides its school she wants Im wondering how to handle the absences issue.
Nicole
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I also have a 3 and will be 5 when we leave that I have to find care for while my husband is at work. The 5 year old is severly autistic, dosent speak, screams a ton, loves to bite people and loves to strip. ( Im sorry he does have good qualities too Im just pulling my hair out with him )
We just moved to a new place so I dont know anyone yet. The few friends/ family that are even remotely close either cant handle or dont want to care for him .
So any ideas on who to call? What to do?
Also ..........my 7 year old is still debating on going to school or not....I think she has decided on not becasue its much more fun to go to work with daddy and play at the park than sit in school ......but on the remote chance that she decides its school she wants Im wondering how to handle the absences issue.
Nicole
---------------------------------
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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Melissa
Well, I'm in Oklahoma...if you want to drop them off ;-)
We joke that our house isn't just babyproofed, it's autie proofed,
six years after Bre's regression we have nothing breakable and no
expectations for things to stay clean LOL!
What we usually suggest is to contact the local autism society and
ask about respite care workers...you could also contact local
psychologists or other experts and see if they have suggestions. Like
here we have the JD McCarty center, where many of the OT's and PT's
moonlight as respite care workers. You could also contact the local
universities special ed departments, there are often students who
have some education and interest about different abilities, and would
like more experience.
Sooner is better than later, so they can get to know your children,
visit during the day and see the routine, etc.
HTH
Melissa
Mom to Josh (11), Breanna (8), Emily (7), Rachel (6), Sam (4), Dan
(2), and Avari Rose
share our lives at
http://360.yahoo.com/multimomma
We joke that our house isn't just babyproofed, it's autie proofed,
six years after Bre's regression we have nothing breakable and no
expectations for things to stay clean LOL!
What we usually suggest is to contact the local autism society and
ask about respite care workers...you could also contact local
psychologists or other experts and see if they have suggestions. Like
here we have the JD McCarty center, where many of the OT's and PT's
moonlight as respite care workers. You could also contact the local
universities special ed departments, there are often students who
have some education and interest about different abilities, and would
like more experience.
Sooner is better than later, so they can get to know your children,
visit during the day and see the routine, etc.
HTH
Melissa
Mom to Josh (11), Breanna (8), Emily (7), Rachel (6), Sam (4), Dan
(2), and Avari Rose
share our lives at
http://360.yahoo.com/multimomma
On Jul 16, 2006, at 12:03 AM, Nicole Willoughby wrote:
> My father has decided to pay for a trip to the Phillippines with
> him and my step mom for myself and my 7 year old. Im so excited!
> Ill get to meet my little sister and it will be a fantastic
> experience for Courtney and I.
>
> I also have a 3 and will be 5 when we leave that I have to find
> care for while my husband is at work. The 5 year old is severly
> autistic, dosent speak, screams a ton, loves to bite people and
> loves to strip. ( Im sorry he does have good qualities too Im just
> pulling my hair out with him )
> We just moved to a new place so I dont know anyone yet. The few
> friends/ family that are even remotely close either cant handle or
> dont want to care for him .
>
> So any ideas on who to call? What to do?
>
> Also ..........my 7 year old is still debating on going to school
> or not....I think she has decided on not becasue its much more fun
> to go to work with daddy and play at the park than sit in
> school ......but on the remote chance that she decides its school
> she wants Im wondering how to handle the absences issue.
>
> Nicole
>
>
>
> ---------------------------------
> How low will we go? Check out Yahoo! Messenger�s low PC-to-Phone
> call rates.
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>
>
>
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Nicole Willoughby
What part of Oklahoma are you guys in? We are currently about 4 miles from the border but we hope soon to move closer to dh's work. Maypearl, just south of dallas.
We joke that our house isn't just babyproofed, it's autie proofed,
six years after Bre's regression we have nothing breakable and no
expectations for things to stay clean LOL!
Feel free to e-mail offlist but how severe is her autism? Do you ever feel like it gets in the way of unschooling her and/or the other kids?
Sometimes I feel like Im spending so much time working with NAte, cleaning up after Nate etc that Im pushing my girls to the side. Courtney made me kinda sad tonight when I asked her something and she said maybe later then said mom you say that ( maybe later) so much. ITs true but Im not sure how to change it when Im in the middle of dealing with her brother who has either gotten ahold of the peanut butter yet again or is in the middle of a raging fit.
Nicole
---------------------------------
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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
We joke that our house isn't just babyproofed, it's autie proofed,
six years after Bre's regression we have nothing breakable and no
expectations for things to stay clean LOL!
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>Sounds like my kinda house! DH is talking about how we are scraping to get a house asap and is sad that it will be a while before we can get any furniture. Im thinking furniture! who needs it .....cant we just cover the walls with some sort of easily cleanable plastic , then throw lots of pillows everywhere. When we get more money a ballpit and swing would be good. Oh yes and playground balls ...must have 3-4 of those.
Feel free to e-mail offlist but how severe is her autism? Do you ever feel like it gets in the way of unschooling her and/or the other kids?
Sometimes I feel like Im spending so much time working with NAte, cleaning up after Nate etc that Im pushing my girls to the side. Courtney made me kinda sad tonight when I asked her something and she said maybe later then said mom you say that ( maybe later) so much. ITs true but Im not sure how to change it when Im in the middle of dealing with her brother who has either gotten ahold of the peanut butter yet again or is in the middle of a raging fit.
Nicole
---------------------------------
Yahoo! Music Unlimited - Access over 1 million songs.Try it free.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Melissa
Nicole,
I wanted to reply to this onlist, because I think it's a good
discussion to have for everyone. I think unschooling is about the
best thing that has ever happened to our kids, autistic or not. We
spent five years in the public school arena, and what we saw was as
expectations got higher, the supports for her did not get any better,
and her stress levels were greatly increased. As those levels
increased, her coping mechanisms decreased, and it made her syndrome
appear much more severe. Her SIB's (self-injurious behaviors) were
much more violent, and her stims were more frequent. I would say
she's moderate. She's functionally nonverbal, she's echolalic, she
engages in a lot of selfstim throughout the day. She has no social
skills or imaginative play. She hurts herself quite severely,
although once she was out of school that got to a point where she was
no longer making herself bleed.
We have made some big adjustments. We lived for so long believing
that for Breanna to be 'healed' we had to do 40 hours of intervention
every week, sitting at the table, managing and teaching her stuff.
I'm sure that just increased her stress levels. WHen I finally
reached the point where I decided that her autism was not as
important as who she is and the family, things got better. We still
have expectations for her, the same ones as for everyone else. She
might need more help getting there, and we provide a lot of supports.
We realized it wasn't important for her to be able to imagine, if she
wasn't disabled we would just say she prefers to engage in other
things, right? And as an adult, how many people sit around playing
dolls, so how functional is it to teach her that? lol! We've accepted
her for what she is, and what she can do, and once we did that, she
started doing more. Instead of sitting at a table all the time, she's
learning real world stuff.
You know, things will get better. I know that when Breanna was
younger a lot of time went to her because she was still learning.
She's probably still getting more on her bad days that the other kids
do. My kids understood a lot because we talked a lot one-on-one (when
dh would watch the kids and I could take one out on a date) about
autism, about Breanna, about how they felt their lives were going,
etc. They knew that even though she was getting bigger, her brain was
still like a baby. So that helped, I don't know if you've done that,
but there are some good things online if you google 'kids autism'.
That one on one time is important, so try to set that up where
someone can just keep Nate, and you can take Courtney out to even
just get a soda and fries. Throughout the day I make sure Breanna is
set up with something she likes, and then be sure to spend that time
connecting. One thing to do is have a dry erase board, so when your
girls ask about something, be sure to say something positive, instead
of the maybe later, say THat sounds like a great idea. Lets write
that down and we'll do it as soon as Nate is settled. Then give him a
tray with peanut butter to play in. It'll be messy, yeah, but he'll
be happy and you'll get that time you need for the girls. Or even ask
how can Nate play this *with* us, and give him a role to play,
because everyone needs to know he is part of the family too,
including Nate!
HTH, maybe we can talk more....
Melissa
Mom to Josh (11), Breanna (8), Emily (7), Rachel (6), Sam (4), Dan
(2), and Avari Rose
share our lives at
http://360.yahoo.com/multimomma
I wanted to reply to this onlist, because I think it's a good
discussion to have for everyone. I think unschooling is about the
best thing that has ever happened to our kids, autistic or not. We
spent five years in the public school arena, and what we saw was as
expectations got higher, the supports for her did not get any better,
and her stress levels were greatly increased. As those levels
increased, her coping mechanisms decreased, and it made her syndrome
appear much more severe. Her SIB's (self-injurious behaviors) were
much more violent, and her stims were more frequent. I would say
she's moderate. She's functionally nonverbal, she's echolalic, she
engages in a lot of selfstim throughout the day. She has no social
skills or imaginative play. She hurts herself quite severely,
although once she was out of school that got to a point where she was
no longer making herself bleed.
We have made some big adjustments. We lived for so long believing
that for Breanna to be 'healed' we had to do 40 hours of intervention
every week, sitting at the table, managing and teaching her stuff.
I'm sure that just increased her stress levels. WHen I finally
reached the point where I decided that her autism was not as
important as who she is and the family, things got better. We still
have expectations for her, the same ones as for everyone else. She
might need more help getting there, and we provide a lot of supports.
We realized it wasn't important for her to be able to imagine, if she
wasn't disabled we would just say she prefers to engage in other
things, right? And as an adult, how many people sit around playing
dolls, so how functional is it to teach her that? lol! We've accepted
her for what she is, and what she can do, and once we did that, she
started doing more. Instead of sitting at a table all the time, she's
learning real world stuff.
You know, things will get better. I know that when Breanna was
younger a lot of time went to her because she was still learning.
She's probably still getting more on her bad days that the other kids
do. My kids understood a lot because we talked a lot one-on-one (when
dh would watch the kids and I could take one out on a date) about
autism, about Breanna, about how they felt their lives were going,
etc. They knew that even though she was getting bigger, her brain was
still like a baby. So that helped, I don't know if you've done that,
but there are some good things online if you google 'kids autism'.
That one on one time is important, so try to set that up where
someone can just keep Nate, and you can take Courtney out to even
just get a soda and fries. Throughout the day I make sure Breanna is
set up with something she likes, and then be sure to spend that time
connecting. One thing to do is have a dry erase board, so when your
girls ask about something, be sure to say something positive, instead
of the maybe later, say THat sounds like a great idea. Lets write
that down and we'll do it as soon as Nate is settled. Then give him a
tray with peanut butter to play in. It'll be messy, yeah, but he'll
be happy and you'll get that time you need for the girls. Or even ask
how can Nate play this *with* us, and give him a role to play,
because everyone needs to know he is part of the family too,
including Nate!
HTH, maybe we can talk more....
Melissa
Mom to Josh (11), Breanna (8), Emily (7), Rachel (6), Sam (4), Dan
(2), and Avari Rose
share our lives at
http://360.yahoo.com/multimomma
On Jul 16, 2006, at 1:22 AM, Nicole Willoughby wrote:
>
> Feel free to e-mail offlist but how severe is her autism? Do you
> ever feel like it gets in the way of unschooling her and/or the
> other kids?
> Sometimes I feel like Im spending so much time working with NAte,
> cleaning up after Nate etc that Im pushing my girls to the side.
> Courtney made me kinda sad tonight when I asked her something and
> she said maybe later then said mom you say that ( maybe later) so
> much. ITs true but Im not sure how to change it when Im in the
> middle of dealing with her brother who has either gotten ahold of
> the peanut butter yet again or is in the middle of a raging fit.
>> .
>
>
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Nicole Willoughby
One thing to do is have a dry erase board, so when your
girls ask about something, be sure to say something positive, instead
of the maybe later, say THat sounds like a great idea. Lets write
that down and we'll do it as soon as Nate is settled. Then give him a
tray with peanut butter to play in. It'll be messy, yeah, but he'll
be happy and you'll get that time you need for the girls. Or even ask
how can Nate play this *with* us, and give him a role to play,
because everyone needs to know he is part of the family too,
including Nate!
Peanut butter on a try ??..........................oh No ! with him that would be peanut butter in the carpet, on the walls, his clothes, hair etc .
I havent seen my new place yet . Will tomorrow. DH found it . But Im very happy dh says it has a fenced in backyard and a concrete slab in back of the house. Of course we'd have to be careful of how hot the concrete gets but Im thinking yes! the perfect place that I can give him whipped cream , pudding, peanut butter etc to play in.
Lol! Im sure the neighbors will think Im crazy when they see him and more than likely my 3 year old covered in peanut butter on a regular basis.
Sigh but if they only knew how much it reduces the amount of poop I have to clean off my walls! ( sorry to all those non autistic parents :)
Courtney seems to really be leaning towards going to public school this year....at least for a while she says . I really wish she wouldnt but I feel like I need to give her room and let her go if thats what she really wants.
I think part of it *is* her needing more of a break from her brother and thats ok I understand.......Id just like to find a different way. She is so sensitive to loud noises and Nate does these high pitched screams most of the day. I dont seem to be able to make him stop.
We have made some big adjustments. We lived for so long believing
that for Breanna to be 'healed' we had to do 40 hours of intervention
every week, sitting at the table, managing and teaching her stuff.
I'm sure that just increased her stress levels. WHen I finally
reached the point where I decided that her autism was not as
important as who she is and the family, things got better>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
I certainly dont want this to sound like Ive given up on him. I wont ever and Im always searching for ways to help him . I do want to learn more about using aba.........Id love to see him get potty trained. However I came to the conclusion quickly after his diagnosis that I was much more interested in helping him be happy and content with himself and his own life than trying to force him to live up to society's standards.
Nicole
---------------------------------
See the all-new, redesigned Yahoo.com. Check it out.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
girls ask about something, be sure to say something positive, instead
of the maybe later, say THat sounds like a great idea. Lets write
that down and we'll do it as soon as Nate is settled. Then give him a
tray with peanut butter to play in. It'll be messy, yeah, but he'll
be happy and you'll get that time you need for the girls. Or even ask
how can Nate play this *with* us, and give him a role to play,
because everyone needs to know he is part of the family too,
including Nate!
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>I will defiently try the dry erase board! :) Courtney being an aspie likes that sort of visual plus youre right it will be more positive.
Peanut butter on a try ??..........................oh No ! with him that would be peanut butter in the carpet, on the walls, his clothes, hair etc .
I havent seen my new place yet . Will tomorrow. DH found it . But Im very happy dh says it has a fenced in backyard and a concrete slab in back of the house. Of course we'd have to be careful of how hot the concrete gets but Im thinking yes! the perfect place that I can give him whipped cream , pudding, peanut butter etc to play in.
Lol! Im sure the neighbors will think Im crazy when they see him and more than likely my 3 year old covered in peanut butter on a regular basis.
Sigh but if they only knew how much it reduces the amount of poop I have to clean off my walls! ( sorry to all those non autistic parents :)
Courtney seems to really be leaning towards going to public school this year....at least for a while she says . I really wish she wouldnt but I feel like I need to give her room and let her go if thats what she really wants.
I think part of it *is* her needing more of a break from her brother and thats ok I understand.......Id just like to find a different way. She is so sensitive to loud noises and Nate does these high pitched screams most of the day. I dont seem to be able to make him stop.
We have made some big adjustments. We lived for so long believing
that for Breanna to be 'healed' we had to do 40 hours of intervention
every week, sitting at the table, managing and teaching her stuff.
I'm sure that just increased her stress levels. WHen I finally
reached the point where I decided that her autism was not as
important as who she is and the family, things got better>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
I certainly dont want this to sound like Ive given up on him. I wont ever and Im always searching for ways to help him . I do want to learn more about using aba.........Id love to see him get potty trained. However I came to the conclusion quickly after his diagnosis that I was much more interested in helping him be happy and content with himself and his own life than trying to force him to live up to society's standards.
Nicole
---------------------------------
See the all-new, redesigned Yahoo.com. Check it out.
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