Ren Allen

~I feel the struggle and tension in my body which I feel all my
life, when I am lost, out of connection with my heart, my breath...~

You just hit the nail on the head. Your own being "out of connection".
So the real question is, how do you connect with your own heart, your
breath? How do YOU feel connected the whole that is life once again?

In the "Mindful Parenting" talk last year, I quoted this from
"Wherever You Go There You Are":
"All of Walden Pond is within your breath. The miracle of the
changing seasons is withing the breath; your parents and your children
are within the breath; your body and your mind are within the breath.
The breath is the current connecting body and mind, connecting us
with our parents and our children, connecting our body with the outer
world's body. It is the current of life. There are nothing but
golden fish in thsi stream. All we need to see them clearly is the
lens of awareness."

For me, if I'm feeling out-of-whack, it's my clue to stop and evaluate
what is doing that. Am I feeling disconnected from those I love? Am I
ignoring some area of my life that needs attention? Do I just need to
slow down, be more aware?

Sometimes, a simple task like cleaning the kitchen can make me feel
better. It's silly, but at an internal level it's something I can
control when life feels uncontrollable.
If cleaning something, or taking a walk, or painting can make you feel
better, then do it.

These changes are so simple, yet so difficult. Keep walking towards
the things that bring joy into your life, and all will be well. Pay
attention to that which brings you joy...true joy!
What colors or textures or objects grab your attention...notice them.
What feels good for your body? Jumping, walking, a warm bath, a cool
swim, a hike? Do those things.
What activities bring you joy? Painting, watching a movie, having
friends over, going to a wine tasting, playing tag, creating a
book....pay attention to the things you love.

I think as parents, we get hyperfocused on what our kids need, what
our kids "have to" learn, how to keep them healthy and we forget
ourselves in the process. But the most effective parents, are
following their bliss, with their children right alongside them, both
worlds as one.

It doesn't mean we follow our bliss instead of being present for our
children, one can be present AND doing the things we love. Your
children deserve to know the very BEST of you and be invited to join
you in that pursuit of joy. Let them dabble in and out of your
activities as they grow. Bring in things that help them explore the
world. There is a lovely rhythm and pulse in the family where all
members are doing that which they love!

Ren
learninginfreedom.com

Eugenie van Ruitenbeek

Hi Ren,

You wrote: There are nothing but golden fish in this stream. All we need to
see them clearly is the lens of awareness."

I struggled today... I feel so lonely... I am living woth the kids for
almost three weeks now. My dh is working many, many hours and I start to
feel so sad without real connections with adults. The care of the children,
which means that I don't find time to write, which is what I like most, is
knocking me down today.

I am sick and sad of trying to solve this problem, which I have to face for
so many years. We meet other people with which we can connect for a short
time but after awhile people go away because we are too radical. Too
different. We live in a neighbourhood where all children go to school and
they act like that. Children who are very aggressive or very polite and
doing whatever the adults wants. Jesse is different. He is asking questions.
"Why can't we play together?" Because you played with each other yesterday.
"And what is important about that? We like to play now".
"If I say no, than it is no".

I feel isolated, down and so sad. I sit here, waiting for my dh to come
home. I can write with all of you but you are not here. And apparently I
need people around me who I can "play" with, with who I can connect, learn,
talk....

To me this is the hardest part of radical unschooling.... being so
overwhelming alone.... It hurts badly...

Maybe I am blind. But than I am too blind to see where I am blind...

Eugenie

Ren Allen

"I feel isolated, down and so sad. I sit here, waiting for my dh to come
home. I can write with all of you but you are not here. And apparently I
need people around me who I can "play" with, with who I can connect,
learn,
talk...."

There's lots of us at the conference!!:)
I know that's a very long ways for you, but is there any chance you
all could move somewhere that more alternative types exist? Is there a
possibility that some are in your area and you just haven't found them
yet?

Ren
learninginfreedom.com

Brian & Alexandra Polikowsky

You must have said it and I missed it but where are you at?
Alex in MN

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

mooosey3

>
> "I feel isolated, down and so sad. I sit here, waiting for my dh to
come
> home. I can write with all of you but you are not here. And
apparently I
> need people around me who I can "play" with, with who I can connect,
> learn,
> talk...."

Sounds to me you just need a good girl friend!! ;) Some of my closest
friends, do not unschool. They don't even homeschool. But they are
people I can connect with.

You might just need to find some homeschooling families. They might
surprise you!! Usually when I am around other homeschoolers, I
usually mention we unschool unless I really get to know them. The
other day I was talking to a mom, her kids and my kids play together
quite a bit and I mentioned unschooling and explained it a little.
She said that was kind of what they did. But she called it organic
learning. She said she does use workbooks sometimes but she doesn't
believe in forcing her kids to do things when they don't want to.
Just that little conversation I found someone very similar, we already
got a long great and now we have this new connection. Cool.

It just takes time. Hang in there...:)

Heather
www.myeclectic.blogspot.com

Eugenie van Ruitenbeek

I don't know, Ren. I don't know people who are living radical unschooling
lives... Does anybody know people in the Netherlands who do live this kind
of life?

And do you guys have many people around you that are unschooling?

Warmly,
Eugenie

Eugenie van Ruitenbeek

The Netherlands, Europe

Eugenie


-----Original Message-----
From: [email protected]
[mailto:[email protected]] On Behalf Of Brian & Alexandra
Polikowsky
Sent: Thursday, July 06, 2006 8:54 PM
To: [email protected]
Subject: Re: [unschoolingbasics] the first days of vacation


You must have said it and I missed it but where are you at?
Alex in MN

Momma

I don't have anyone either. I can't even seem to find any other
homeschoolers much less unschoolers (we live in a rural area). I can
understand exactly where you are coming from. It gets lonely sometimes. My
dh works long hours and has an hour commute each way so we don't see him
much during the week either.

Too bad we live an ocean apart!

Dawn





I don't know, Ren. I don't know people who are living radical unschooling
lives... Does anybody know people in the Netherlands who do live this kind
of life?

And do you guys have many people around you that are unschooling?

Warmly,
Eugenie

.


<http://geo.yahoo.com/serv?s=97359714&grpId=12789513&grpspId=1600081972&msgI
d=15416&stime=1152217459>




[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Melissa

I know lots of homeschoolers, but sometimes that is just as bad as
not knowing any. While it gives me a grownup to meet up with during
the day, sometimes they think I am crazy! There is an unschooling
group here in our state as well, but very few of those are radical
unschoolers, and I feel even more uncomfortable with them because
when THEY start to talk about curriculum or 'sneaking' in educational
opportunities, it makes me feel even stranger. Like maybe I'm too
radical. KWIM?

I have a few homeschooling friends that I'm very comfortable with,
but I have other things in common, such as one family is from church.
THey are extremely different than us...flirted with unschooling but
then enrolled their kids in a part time christian classical academy.
And then another family that we're close to because they hold similar
philosophical bent on religion and medication, but they were strict
school at homers (although I think we're rubbing off on them!) I've
met online a few local unschoolers, but only we've met in person once
or twice because even in the same state it's hard to mesh schedules,
yes?

Most of my friends are adults that are at the places my kids love to
go, librarians, stock clerks at the pet store, the comic book store
owner. One cashier at McDonald's LOL!

Almost all of my support is online
Melissa
Mom to Josh (11), Breanna (8), Emily (7), Rachel (6), Sam (4), Dan
(2), and Avari Rose

share our lives at
http://360.yahoo.com/multimomma

>
> I don't know, Ren. I don't know people who are living radical
> unschooling
> lives... Does anybody know people in the Netherlands who do live
> this kind
> of life?
>
> And do you guys have many people around you that are unschooling?
>
> Warmly,
> Eugenie
>
> .
>
> <http://geo.yahoo.com/serv?
> s=97359714&grpId=12789513&grpspId=1600081972&msgI
> d=15416&stime=1152217459>
>
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>
>
>



[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Michelle/Melbrigða

On 7/6/06, Eugenie van Ruitenbeek <emmvr@...> wrote:
> I don't know, Ren. I don't know people who are living radical unschooling
> lives... Does anybody know people in the Netherlands who do live this kind
> of life?
>

Eugenie, look to see if there is a La Leche League near you. I know
there are LLL groups in the Netherlands. Even if you aren't
breastfeeding, they might have a playgroup you could join in on. LLL
folks tend to be a little more "crunchy" than your regular folks and
are more open to ideas such as homeschooling and unschooling even if
they don't do those things themselves. Go to the parks during school
hours and see who else is hanging out with their school aged children.
Heck, go anywhere during school hours and see who else is hanging out
with their school aged children. :-) Search on the internet for
homeschooling groups. Get in touch with the NVVTO (found that by
googling Netherland homeschooling, but you will probably get better
hits on google.nl than in regular ole google) and see if they have
some resources for other homeschoolers. You may not find many
unschoolers, but then again you might!

> And do you guys have many people around you that are unschooling?
>

Hmmm. There are a few unschooling families in our resource group, but
few actually show up to our resource days. Most of the families at
our resource days do some sort of structured organized even forced
curriculum. But we get along.

--
Michelle
aka Melbrigða
http://eventualknitting.blogspot.com
[email protected] - Homeschooling for the Medieval Recreationist