OT- having more children
Misty
Well I've been no mail for a while and was looking up an old message
in the archives when I spotted this thread. As usual this group
always seems to be right on target with what's happening in my
life. Dh and I were just trying to figure out whether we still want
another one. I even posted a question on our local unschoolers
group, but didn't quite get the info I was looking for. Hopefully I
can clarify and get a better answer here. Of course now I have more
questions to ask. So here's the situation.
We have 1 dd now 2.5 my original plan was to wait until she was 3 so
that I could have 1 on 1 time with the second child when she was in
preschool. Now that I've decided to unschool that's out the
window. I still was waiting until she turned 3 in hopes that she
would be weaned and in her own bed by the time I got pregnant
again. At 2.5 she has slowed a bit in any of these areas, and
though I know this could change in 6 mo. I also realilze I shouldn't
count on it. So my original question was regarding concern for the
safety of a newborn sleeping in the bed with us and a toddler. We
have a king size tempurpedic, and currently dd sleeps in the middle
btwn dh and I. I'm afraid dd won't want to give up her spot which
leaves me the option of having the baby btwn me and her or having
the baby btwn me and a toddler rail. I'm also concerned b/c dd
still nurses pretty much continuously through the night. Any
thoughts on this?
Here's our other thought dh and I are wondering for sure whether we
even want to have a second. So are there any of you out there who
unschool only 1 child? You'd think it would be easier, but I'm
afraid it would be more difficult. Right now my dd constantly needs
my attention. I know it's pretty normal for the age, but she always
needs me or someone to play with her. I've actually hired a
mother's helper to come in once or twice a week to help take the
pressure off. So my concern with just one is that with her being at
home all the time she'll need my companionship longer and more
frequently than I can give it. So please respond if you've had a
single child that you've unschooled since birth.
You guys have always given me great food for thought to help me
grow, so I'm hoping you'll give me some things to ponder to help in
my decision. Looking forward to your responses.
Misty
in the archives when I spotted this thread. As usual this group
always seems to be right on target with what's happening in my
life. Dh and I were just trying to figure out whether we still want
another one. I even posted a question on our local unschoolers
group, but didn't quite get the info I was looking for. Hopefully I
can clarify and get a better answer here. Of course now I have more
questions to ask. So here's the situation.
We have 1 dd now 2.5 my original plan was to wait until she was 3 so
that I could have 1 on 1 time with the second child when she was in
preschool. Now that I've decided to unschool that's out the
window. I still was waiting until she turned 3 in hopes that she
would be weaned and in her own bed by the time I got pregnant
again. At 2.5 she has slowed a bit in any of these areas, and
though I know this could change in 6 mo. I also realilze I shouldn't
count on it. So my original question was regarding concern for the
safety of a newborn sleeping in the bed with us and a toddler. We
have a king size tempurpedic, and currently dd sleeps in the middle
btwn dh and I. I'm afraid dd won't want to give up her spot which
leaves me the option of having the baby btwn me and her or having
the baby btwn me and a toddler rail. I'm also concerned b/c dd
still nurses pretty much continuously through the night. Any
thoughts on this?
Here's our other thought dh and I are wondering for sure whether we
even want to have a second. So are there any of you out there who
unschool only 1 child? You'd think it would be easier, but I'm
afraid it would be more difficult. Right now my dd constantly needs
my attention. I know it's pretty normal for the age, but she always
needs me or someone to play with her. I've actually hired a
mother's helper to come in once or twice a week to help take the
pressure off. So my concern with just one is that with her being at
home all the time she'll need my companionship longer and more
frequently than I can give it. So please respond if you've had a
single child that you've unschooled since birth.
You guys have always given me great food for thought to help me
grow, so I'm hoping you'll give me some things to ponder to help in
my decision. Looking forward to your responses.
Misty
Misty
Well I've been no mail for a while and was looking up an old message
in the archives when I spotted this thread. As usual this group
always seems to be right on target with what's happening in my
life. Dh and I were just trying to figure out whether we still want
another one. I even posted a question on our local unschoolers
group, but didn't quite get the info I was looking for. Hopefully I
can clarify and get a better answer here. Of course now I have more
questions to ask. So here's the situation.
We have 1 dd now 2.5 my original plan was to wait until she was 3 so
that I could have 1 on 1 time with the second child when she was in
preschool. Now that I've decided to unschool that's out the
window. I still was waiting until she turned 3 in hopes that she
would be weaned and in her own bed by the time I got pregnant
again. At 2.5 she has slowed a bit in any of these areas, and
though I know this could change in 6 mo. I also realilze I shouldn't
count on it. So my original question was regarding concern for the
safety of a newborn sleeping in the bed with us and a toddler. We
have a king size tempurpedic, and currently dd sleeps in the middle
btwn dh and I. I'm afraid dd won't want to give up her spot which
leaves me the option of having the baby btwn me and her or having
the baby btwn me and a toddler rail. I'm also concerned b/c dd
still nurses pretty much continuously through the night. Any
thoughts on this?
Here's our other thought dh and I are wondering for sure whether we
even want to have a second. So are there any of you out there who
unschool only 1 child? You'd think it would be easier, but I'm
afraid it would be more difficult. Right now my dd constantly needs
my attention. I know it's pretty normal for the age, but she always
needs me or someone to play with her. I've actually hired a
mother's helper to come in once or twice a week to help take the
pressure off. So my concern with just one is that with her being at
home all the time she'll need my companionship longer and more
frequently than I can give it. So please respond if you've had a
single child that you've unschooled since birth.
You guys have always given me great food for thought to help me
grow, so I'm hoping you'll give me some things to ponder to help in
my decision. Looking forward to your responses.
Misty
in the archives when I spotted this thread. As usual this group
always seems to be right on target with what's happening in my
life. Dh and I were just trying to figure out whether we still want
another one. I even posted a question on our local unschoolers
group, but didn't quite get the info I was looking for. Hopefully I
can clarify and get a better answer here. Of course now I have more
questions to ask. So here's the situation.
We have 1 dd now 2.5 my original plan was to wait until she was 3 so
that I could have 1 on 1 time with the second child when she was in
preschool. Now that I've decided to unschool that's out the
window. I still was waiting until she turned 3 in hopes that she
would be weaned and in her own bed by the time I got pregnant
again. At 2.5 she has slowed a bit in any of these areas, and
though I know this could change in 6 mo. I also realilze I shouldn't
count on it. So my original question was regarding concern for the
safety of a newborn sleeping in the bed with us and a toddler. We
have a king size tempurpedic, and currently dd sleeps in the middle
btwn dh and I. I'm afraid dd won't want to give up her spot which
leaves me the option of having the baby btwn me and her or having
the baby btwn me and a toddler rail. I'm also concerned b/c dd
still nurses pretty much continuously through the night. Any
thoughts on this?
Here's our other thought dh and I are wondering for sure whether we
even want to have a second. So are there any of you out there who
unschool only 1 child? You'd think it would be easier, but I'm
afraid it would be more difficult. Right now my dd constantly needs
my attention. I know it's pretty normal for the age, but she always
needs me or someone to play with her. I've actually hired a
mother's helper to come in once or twice a week to help take the
pressure off. So my concern with just one is that with her being at
home all the time she'll need my companionship longer and more
frequently than I can give it. So please respond if you've had a
single child that you've unschooled since birth.
You guys have always given me great food for thought to help me
grow, so I'm hoping you'll give me some things to ponder to help in
my decision. Looking forward to your responses.
Misty
Misty
Well I've been no mail for a while and was looking up an old message
in the archives when I spotted this thread. As usual this group
always seems to be right on target with what's happening in my
life. Dh and I were just trying to figure out whether we still want
another one. I even posted a question on our local unschoolers
group, but didn't quite get the info I was looking for. Hopefully I
can clarify and get a better answer here. Of course now I have more
questions to ask. So here's the situation.
We have 1 dd now 2.5 my original plan was to wait until she was 3 so
that I could have 1 on 1 time with the second child when she was in
preschool. Now that I've decided to unschool that's out the
window. I still was waiting until she turned 3 in hopes that she
would be weaned and in her own bed by the time I got pregnant
again. At 2.5 she has slowed a bit in any of these areas, and
though I know this could change in 6 mo. I also realilze I shouldn't
count on it. So my original question was regarding concern for the
safety of a newborn sleeping in the bed with us and a toddler. We
have a king size tempurpedic, and currently dd sleeps in the middle
btwn dh and I. I'm afraid dd won't want to give up her spot which
leaves me the option of having the baby btwn me and her or having
the baby btwn me and a toddler rail. I'm also concerned b/c dd
still nurses pretty much continuously through the night. Any
thoughts on this?
Here's our other thought dh and I are wondering for sure whether we
even want to have a second. So are there any of you out there who
unschool only 1 child? You'd think it would be easier, but I'm
afraid it would be more difficult. Right now my dd constantly needs
my attention. I know it's pretty normal for the age, but she always
needs me or someone to play with her. I've actually hired a
mother's helper to come in once or twice a week to help take the
pressure off. So my concern with just one is that with her being at
home all the time she'll need my companionship longer and more
frequently than I can give it. So please respond if you've had a
single child that you've unschooled since birth.
You guys have always given me great food for thought to help me
grow, so I'm hoping you'll give me some things to ponder to help in
my decision. Looking forward to your responses.
Misty
in the archives when I spotted this thread. As usual this group
always seems to be right on target with what's happening in my
life. Dh and I were just trying to figure out whether we still want
another one. I even posted a question on our local unschoolers
group, but didn't quite get the info I was looking for. Hopefully I
can clarify and get a better answer here. Of course now I have more
questions to ask. So here's the situation.
We have 1 dd now 2.5 my original plan was to wait until she was 3 so
that I could have 1 on 1 time with the second child when she was in
preschool. Now that I've decided to unschool that's out the
window. I still was waiting until she turned 3 in hopes that she
would be weaned and in her own bed by the time I got pregnant
again. At 2.5 she has slowed a bit in any of these areas, and
though I know this could change in 6 mo. I also realilze I shouldn't
count on it. So my original question was regarding concern for the
safety of a newborn sleeping in the bed with us and a toddler. We
have a king size tempurpedic, and currently dd sleeps in the middle
btwn dh and I. I'm afraid dd won't want to give up her spot which
leaves me the option of having the baby btwn me and her or having
the baby btwn me and a toddler rail. I'm also concerned b/c dd
still nurses pretty much continuously through the night. Any
thoughts on this?
Here's our other thought dh and I are wondering for sure whether we
even want to have a second. So are there any of you out there who
unschool only 1 child? You'd think it would be easier, but I'm
afraid it would be more difficult. Right now my dd constantly needs
my attention. I know it's pretty normal for the age, but she always
needs me or someone to play with her. I've actually hired a
mother's helper to come in once or twice a week to help take the
pressure off. So my concern with just one is that with her being at
home all the time she'll need my companionship longer and more
frequently than I can give it. So please respond if you've had a
single child that you've unschooled since birth.
You guys have always given me great food for thought to help me
grow, so I'm hoping you'll give me some things to ponder to help in
my decision. Looking forward to your responses.
Misty
Kristie Cochran
Hi Misty,
We knew we wanted at least 2 kids, but I seriously had doubts because my
1st was so high needs. I night-weaned him at 21 mo and he continued to
nurse until 29mo, when he stopped cold turkey. Luckily for me, I
couldn't get pregnant until he fully weaned, so I was able to get
pregnant 2mo later. There is a 3.5yr age difference and it has been
wonderful. Jared was old enough to understand about being gentle and
didn't really have too many jealousy issues. It was hard on him, and
probably took us 6 ~ 8mo to really get on track with the two kids, but
it has been worth it. Jared also co-sleeps with us. What we did was to
sidecar the crib to our bed (we also have a king, and a memory foam
mattress) and Jared slept (and still sleeps) in the crib and Chase
sleeps in the middle or between me and the crib. It works great for
us. So, if you have room (and have a crib), you might want to try that
arrangement, or you could look into getting a toddler bed for your room
(let her pick it out and the sheets and stuff to go with it).
Preschool was a bust for me. Jared didn't really like it and I
*thought* it would give me more time with Chase. It was actually
worse. I had to get the baby up early and take him out in the cold to
take Jared to preschool, then had to interrupt his naptime because I
then had to pick Jared up again. Preschool was only 3hrs, so it really
didn't give me much time to get anything done. It was really more of a
hassle. I finally took Jared out after Spring Break and things have
been so much calmer in our household.
Hope this helps some!
Kristie
Misty wrote:
We knew we wanted at least 2 kids, but I seriously had doubts because my
1st was so high needs. I night-weaned him at 21 mo and he continued to
nurse until 29mo, when he stopped cold turkey. Luckily for me, I
couldn't get pregnant until he fully weaned, so I was able to get
pregnant 2mo later. There is a 3.5yr age difference and it has been
wonderful. Jared was old enough to understand about being gentle and
didn't really have too many jealousy issues. It was hard on him, and
probably took us 6 ~ 8mo to really get on track with the two kids, but
it has been worth it. Jared also co-sleeps with us. What we did was to
sidecar the crib to our bed (we also have a king, and a memory foam
mattress) and Jared slept (and still sleeps) in the crib and Chase
sleeps in the middle or between me and the crib. It works great for
us. So, if you have room (and have a crib), you might want to try that
arrangement, or you could look into getting a toddler bed for your room
(let her pick it out and the sheets and stuff to go with it).
Preschool was a bust for me. Jared didn't really like it and I
*thought* it would give me more time with Chase. It was actually
worse. I had to get the baby up early and take him out in the cold to
take Jared to preschool, then had to interrupt his naptime because I
then had to pick Jared up again. Preschool was only 3hrs, so it really
didn't give me much time to get anything done. It was really more of a
hassle. I finally took Jared out after Spring Break and things have
been so much calmer in our household.
Hope this helps some!
Kristie
Misty wrote:
>
> We have 1 dd now 2.5 my original plan was to wait until she was 3 so
> that I could have 1 on 1 time with the second child when she was in
> preschool. Now that I've decided to unschool that's out the
> window. I still was waiting until she turned 3 in hopes that she
> would be weaned and in her own bed by the time I got pregnant
> again. At 2.5 she has slowed a bit in any of these areas, and
> though I know this could change in 6 mo. I also realilze I shouldn't
> count on it. So my original question was regarding concern for the
> safety of a newborn sleeping in the bed with us and a toddler. We
> have a king size tempurpedic, and currently dd sleeps in the middle
> btwn dh and I. I'm afraid dd won't want to give up her spot which
> leaves me the option of having the baby btwn me and her or having
> the baby btwn me and a toddler rail. I'm also concerned b/c dd
> still nurses pretty much continuously through the night. Any
> thoughts on this?
>
> .
>
>
[email protected]
Misty to respond to both of your questions...
The bed situation all depends on the sleepers. IF you have a toddler who
would roll on the baby then some other plan needs to be worked out. I have 4 and
there is 2 years between each of the last 3(that wasn't planned). I nursed
each baby longer then the other with the last still nursing.
Nicholas was sleeping in our bed but at some point we moved a toddler bed in
here. Some nights he goes to the toddler bed and some nights he falls asleep
with daddy and then is moved across the room. In the am if he wakes along
with Cameron they play on the bed together, it's nice. Cassidy used to sleep in
here but opted for a room with tv access any hour.
As for one child... My oldest is 14.9 and I was single for the first 4 years
so not the same situation though I'll throw out some thoughts. You can get
to the point where the child isn't so needing of you by offering creative self
play toys. Time and age will change things but not fully. Bringing in a
helper sounds wonderful but I wonder when that helper leaves if you then are
entertainer bc now you might have a child we doesn't like to be alone. Or if you
do naturally have a child who seeks a playmate then I would consider a
sibling.
My son seemed ok when we lived in an apartment and I was single but once I
moved into a house and met someone he was asking for siblings. It was almost
too late bc by then he was nearly 6. Sure they play together now but the
competitive situations are challenging.
In the end each situation is manageable.. one child or 4 (or more).
In relation to unschooling hands on/involved parenting is major. Sure we can
skip preschool but the true test I see is when a families children reach
school age. I see loads of infants and toddlers at the playground but when the
kids hit age 5-6 strangely those families who hung with the homeschoolers opt
for silent soap opera days while their children are in school. My point is
with one child I think you are going to feel the pressure to do school out of
fear that the child would be lonely or that you would need to be the playmate.
I can tell you I have 4 and I am still all of their playmates more for each
than I was when I only had one.
I'm not saying you can't unschool a single child my thoughts lay more on you
comments about needing assistance for one while considering another. I can
tell you it will all work itself out if you work with it as it comes. The
future for you and your family is wide open. Embrace your hopes and dreams and
make them a reality because 10 years from now you may wish you had.
Laura
Mom to Dustin 14.9, Cassidy 6.5, Nicholas 4 & Cameron 2
Unschoolingmaine.com
Drewsbrittanys.com
Some days we may appear to be doing nothing but day dreaming.
America was built on dreams. Dream on my friend, dream on.........LLD
<<Here's our other thought dh and I are wondering for sure whether we
even want to have a second. So are there any of you out there who
unschool only 1 child? You'd think it would be easier, but I'm
afraid it would be more difficult. Right now my dd constantly needs
my attention. I know it's pretty normal for the age, but she always
needs me or someone to play with her. I've actually hired a
mother's helper to come in once or twice a week to help take the
pressure off. So my concern with just one is that with her being at
home all the time she'll need my companionship longer and more
frequently than I can give it. So please respond if you've had a
single child that you've unschooled since birth.
You guys have always given me great food for thought to help me
grow, so I'm hoping you'll give me some things to ponder to help in
my decision. Looking forward to your responses.
Misty>>
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
The bed situation all depends on the sleepers. IF you have a toddler who
would roll on the baby then some other plan needs to be worked out. I have 4 and
there is 2 years between each of the last 3(that wasn't planned). I nursed
each baby longer then the other with the last still nursing.
Nicholas was sleeping in our bed but at some point we moved a toddler bed in
here. Some nights he goes to the toddler bed and some nights he falls asleep
with daddy and then is moved across the room. In the am if he wakes along
with Cameron they play on the bed together, it's nice. Cassidy used to sleep in
here but opted for a room with tv access any hour.
As for one child... My oldest is 14.9 and I was single for the first 4 years
so not the same situation though I'll throw out some thoughts. You can get
to the point where the child isn't so needing of you by offering creative self
play toys. Time and age will change things but not fully. Bringing in a
helper sounds wonderful but I wonder when that helper leaves if you then are
entertainer bc now you might have a child we doesn't like to be alone. Or if you
do naturally have a child who seeks a playmate then I would consider a
sibling.
My son seemed ok when we lived in an apartment and I was single but once I
moved into a house and met someone he was asking for siblings. It was almost
too late bc by then he was nearly 6. Sure they play together now but the
competitive situations are challenging.
In the end each situation is manageable.. one child or 4 (or more).
In relation to unschooling hands on/involved parenting is major. Sure we can
skip preschool but the true test I see is when a families children reach
school age. I see loads of infants and toddlers at the playground but when the
kids hit age 5-6 strangely those families who hung with the homeschoolers opt
for silent soap opera days while their children are in school. My point is
with one child I think you are going to feel the pressure to do school out of
fear that the child would be lonely or that you would need to be the playmate.
I can tell you I have 4 and I am still all of their playmates more for each
than I was when I only had one.
I'm not saying you can't unschool a single child my thoughts lay more on you
comments about needing assistance for one while considering another. I can
tell you it will all work itself out if you work with it as it comes. The
future for you and your family is wide open. Embrace your hopes and dreams and
make them a reality because 10 years from now you may wish you had.
Laura
Mom to Dustin 14.9, Cassidy 6.5, Nicholas 4 & Cameron 2
Unschoolingmaine.com
Drewsbrittanys.com
Some days we may appear to be doing nothing but day dreaming.
America was built on dreams. Dream on my friend, dream on.........LLD
<<Here's our other thought dh and I are wondering for sure whether we
even want to have a second. So are there any of you out there who
unschool only 1 child? You'd think it would be easier, but I'm
afraid it would be more difficult. Right now my dd constantly needs
my attention. I know it's pretty normal for the age, but she always
needs me or someone to play with her. I've actually hired a
mother's helper to come in once or twice a week to help take the
pressure off. So my concern with just one is that with her being at
home all the time she'll need my companionship longer and more
frequently than I can give it. So please respond if you've had a
single child that you've unschooled since birth.
You guys have always given me great food for thought to help me
grow, so I'm hoping you'll give me some things to ponder to help in
my decision. Looking forward to your responses.
Misty>>
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
ANGELA BERRY
Misty,
I have been in your shoes before my second dd was born. We had a first very loving dd, who slept with us and nursed still all night! We started talking about adding another and that month I was preggo! I couldn't believe it happened so fast as my first dd took some work. So I ended up with the same due date as my first dd. Well surprising to me I lost most of my milk supply right away with the pregnancy and she slowed way down on nursing and just ate more food. Poor thing! Then two months before my due date she did not ask for it at night and that was that! But she started sleeping 12 hours at night about July (I was pregnant in June) and weaned her bed time nursie in December. I don't know if they just sense the changes coming and grow each day or what because when I look back we thought three years was so young to have a baby! How could I do it and still be with her! But it was fine. Plus a baby needs our skin and smell but for the first months it sleeps
alot! SO that I think gives us time and dd to adjust too. She slept with me and dh in our King bed right in the middle. We talked all the time about the baby coming and how she needs to help guard the baby and we get to all sleep together. IMO if your dd was to "like" sleeping in her big bed she will notice that the baby is with you and she may feel "left out" even more. As far as safety we were worried too so I slept with the baby (Rylee) in another room for three nights and Jenna and dh slept together. Then I joined them and at night we would look and talk about the baby and how Jenna was this small one time and all the things she use to do..... I really think the more Jenna heard her name in the stories as we amazed ourselves over the "new" life we created she was fine with this little person. I slept between the kids so Jenna could not roll on her. I feel it is important not to have the kids next to each other until the baby can crawl. Then he/she will be
strong enough to tell you and if you didn't hear be strong to get up.
It is weird now that Jenna is 6 she is missing my time with her (alone) because for the first time she has been saying things like " I wish Rylee was not with us anymore, I am done playing with her". It is sooooo sad!
Now we are trying for baby #3 and worried for being out numbered with only having two hands! Ya know! ;o)
Misty it so works out and its amazing to me how we analyze it and the work it takes to raise this amazing creatures but when they arrive it seems so worth all that hard work of night wakings and such. I am so happy to hear and talk to others who co-sleep and nurse past age one. ;o) Best wishes to you and your journey.
smiles~Angela
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
I have been in your shoes before my second dd was born. We had a first very loving dd, who slept with us and nursed still all night! We started talking about adding another and that month I was preggo! I couldn't believe it happened so fast as my first dd took some work. So I ended up with the same due date as my first dd. Well surprising to me I lost most of my milk supply right away with the pregnancy and she slowed way down on nursing and just ate more food. Poor thing! Then two months before my due date she did not ask for it at night and that was that! But she started sleeping 12 hours at night about July (I was pregnant in June) and weaned her bed time nursie in December. I don't know if they just sense the changes coming and grow each day or what because when I look back we thought three years was so young to have a baby! How could I do it and still be with her! But it was fine. Plus a baby needs our skin and smell but for the first months it sleeps
alot! SO that I think gives us time and dd to adjust too. She slept with me and dh in our King bed right in the middle. We talked all the time about the baby coming and how she needs to help guard the baby and we get to all sleep together. IMO if your dd was to "like" sleeping in her big bed she will notice that the baby is with you and she may feel "left out" even more. As far as safety we were worried too so I slept with the baby (Rylee) in another room for three nights and Jenna and dh slept together. Then I joined them and at night we would look and talk about the baby and how Jenna was this small one time and all the things she use to do..... I really think the more Jenna heard her name in the stories as we amazed ourselves over the "new" life we created she was fine with this little person. I slept between the kids so Jenna could not roll on her. I feel it is important not to have the kids next to each other until the baby can crawl. Then he/she will be
strong enough to tell you and if you didn't hear be strong to get up.
It is weird now that Jenna is 6 she is missing my time with her (alone) because for the first time she has been saying things like " I wish Rylee was not with us anymore, I am done playing with her". It is sooooo sad!
Now we are trying for baby #3 and worried for being out numbered with only having two hands! Ya know! ;o)
Misty it so works out and its amazing to me how we analyze it and the work it takes to raise this amazing creatures but when they arrive it seems so worth all that hard work of night wakings and such. I am so happy to hear and talk to others who co-sleep and nurse past age one. ;o) Best wishes to you and your journey.
smiles~Angela
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]