Ren Allen

"Is there a step where you are *liberated* enough inside of your head
to treat your children as they deserve to be, no matter how short
the night, how hot the weather, how stressed the mum ? Is there
something you can do to help getting over all these bad reactions
you might have without even thinking ?"

I'm certainly not that mum!!:) Let's face it, we're all affected by
moods, hormones, life changes, rough circumstances and just plain
annoying shit!:)

BUT, a practice of mindfulness has helped me step back and sort of
"disconnect" from the intense emotions in many situations that would
have made me crazy years ago. As I trust my children to learn and grow
in their own way, it frees me to let go of MY expectations and simply
enjoy what IS.

Breathing deep, observing my own reactions/emotions and reading from
other mindful Mums has really changed my life. An attitude that ALL of
my life is a choice, that I can approach activities with gratitude and
that each moment I live will never be again, helps me live for NOW.

I look at my children and realize that they (or I) may die tomorrow. I
look around at my friends and all of the humans around me and realize
that all of us are just passing through. None of us will be here one
day. The complete fragility and preciousness of life causes me to LIVE
for the moment and take stock of what really matters.

We just got back from the Lovejoy's house this afternoon. We were
saying goodbye to some of her crew that was heading to a big music
festival (Bonnaroo) and when I hugged Cameron (her 18y.o.) he said
"hope I see you again". I laughed and said "SOON!" and he replied
something about "you never know, I might not see you again"

He reminded me that EVERY goodbye could be our last. He reminded me to
really NOTICE the details around me and how beautiful it all is.

Every day is a gift. If we can frame it in the very fragile light that
this life is, we will be more capable of not letting unimportant
annoyances bog us down.

It's also ok to accept those moods and feelings!! I get pissed. I get
cranky and I don't handle things great all the time. I've decided to
not beat myself up over this any longer. My kids have leeway to screw
up and be supported unconditionally....I choose to give myself that
leeway too!!

I warn people when I need some space, I communicate my own needs and
try to breathe and remember that this moment will pass and there is
always chocolate and paint.
There aren't many things in my life that chocolate or paint can't fix.:)

Ren
learninginfreedom.com