Sabrina Hill

Hello all,

I have been a lurker on this board for some time now and I just had
to tell you that the post you made about force feeding our children
literally brought me to tears! It moved me soooo much! Let me tell
you a little background.
I had been a (non-certified) teacher in an elementary parochial
school off and on for about 15 yrs. My 5th grade ds was having some
anger management and emotional problems so the school (public)
recommended I have him evaluated. The "doctor" said he was
disturbed and showed signs of trauma and psychosis! He had never
been traumatised by anything that I could think of! WELL, unless you
count being accidentally left on the playground at the head-start
program he attended for preschool or being accidentally locked in
the bathroom AND left there while everyone else in the class went
outside -TWICE - once in kindergarten and again in 2nd grade! I was
floored -my sweet little boy psychotic? NO WAY! So I tried to get
the schools assistance with this! What a waste of everyone's time!

So, after doing some research and deciding that the system was
failing my son, I decided to homeschool him, surely I could do
better. I figured with what they were doing to him that even if I
never taught him a thing he would be better off than he was in their
not so capable hands! With my (now admitted) holier than thou
teaching background I was the last person to think that
homeschooling was a good idea - I thought only extremist wackos did
that! ((((BOY I'M GLAD I WAS WRONG AND GLAD TO ONE OF THEM!)))) So,
I withdrew him from school and loved having him home so much that I
soon withdrew my 2nd grade dd. I took my now 12 yo ds out of PS a
little over a year ago, then a few months later my 7 yo dd. I still
had one dd in HS (10th grade - she did not want to leave her
friends). So, against MY better judgement, I left her there. Since
then we have moved to another state and she decided to hs. YAY!!!

I have looked into unschooling (obviously since I am on this board)
since the beginning but my husband is TOTALLY not into the whole
idea of homeschooling much less unschooling. He has NO desire to
read ANYTHING or at the very least talk about the issue! I have had
to fight every step of the way. I even had to take them out of ps
without his blessing (I don't ask permission for ANYTHING - lol!).
Needless to say that was a rough patch to get through - but here we
are none-the-less! I tried the school at home thing for a while -
mostly to please dh, but seeing the frustration in all of us
returning started to back off and just have fun. "If" learning
happened great! We really only did "school" when dh had a day off.
Then we found out we had to move and with getting ready for that
move - shucks - there was just no time for "school". It has now been
about 7 months since the move and I just keep putting off school. I
keep finding excuses not to start. Thinking to myself that we will
just stay like this and lean more towards unschooling.

BUT,
(you knew this was coming didn't you?)
lately I have been getting worried about my dd and going to college.
I talked to her about it today and she says that she wants to go to
college because "she knows she should". I told her that she didn't
necessarily HAVE to if her interests took her elsewhere (and now I
feel like I am being selfish and almost trying to talk her out of
it!). She is very interested in art, especially photography. A local
photo shop owner has offered to show her how to develop her own B/W
film and I am going to arrange a volunteer position at our local
little theater working behind the scenes (she says she is too shy
for anything to do with acting). When I told her about the
opportunities she was really enthusiastic and said she wanted to do
it! I know her attitude towards college comes from my dh. Who by the
way went to college for four years, has two degrees and a
certificate, none of which are worth the paper they are printed on
because he doesn't use them or the "education" they came with in any
way and never has (whew!). But anyway, I am just so scared that with
only 2 years left (technically speaking), if I don't "school" her
she won't be able to get into art school or college at all.

Get ready for this! ------

I was looking into getting a unit studies curriculum to begin in the
fall. I am so confused right now from reading so much info that my
head is spinning.

Then I read your post!

Thank you for your analogy - I was moved to tears because I
really do feel exactly that way inside but these superficial fears
and of course my husband breathing schooling down my neck are about
to drive me insane!!! It feels like a huge weight has been lifted
off my shoulders and boy does it feel liberating! Now that I've
taken this first step I can't wait to see what the future holds for
all of us! I am most excited for my youngest son who, with the
grace of god, will never have to do "school". Unless of course that
is what he chooses for himself!

Oh and by the way - my ds is no longer "psychotic", "angry"
or "disturbed" in any way!(in my eyes never was) I believe
wholeheartedly it was the school which made him act like he was -
they are the ones responsible for inflicting the "trauma"!
Temporary insanity if you will - brought on by a system which was
stifling, abusive and oppressive.

Ok, so there you have it. So sorry for such a long post but it has
been a long time coming! Thanks to all who have listened. Your
thoughts, feelings, comments, advice and suggestions are highly
valued and encouraged!!!!

Sabrina Hill
Loving mom to 4 great kids
Kira,15; Ian,12; Zoe,8 and Quinten,2

Michelle/Melbrigða

On 6/13/06, Sabrina Hill <sbrehill@...> wrote:
>
> > I have looked into unschooling (obviously since I am on this board)
> since the beginning but my husband is TOTALLY not into the whole
> idea of homeschooling much less unschooling. He has NO desire to
> read ANYTHING or at the very least talk about the issue!

I went through a similar thing with my co-parent when we first started
out on this venture. My response to him was, "If you aren't going to
read anything about home/unschooling then you have no say in what we
do." I figured if he was not going to be the one who was home with
them all day, taking care of them all day, being the one that was
going to have to deal with the state, and do all the toting and
running and planning *and* if he wasn't going to take a vested
interest in how they were educated (by not informing himself) then he
had NO say in how I went about it. Since then he has seen the
positive aspects of unschooling and has taken the time to read about
unschooing in small doses. An article here an e-mail there, etc until
now he is a major unschooling supporter! He still hasn't read a book,
but he has purused Sandra Dodd's website, articles and e-mails from
Ren, Rue, Kelly, Pam and Mary (and me) and he has even listened to
part of a podcast!


--
Michelle
aka Melbrigða
http://eventualknitting.blogspot.com
[email protected] - Homeschooling for the Medieval Recreationist

Pamela Sorooshian

On Jun 13, 2006, at 9:25 PM, Sabrina Hill wrote:

> WELL, unless you
> count being accidentally left on the playground at the head-start
> program he attended for preschool or being accidentally locked in
> the bathroom AND left there while everyone else in the class went
> outside -TWICE - once in kindergarten and again in 2nd grade!

Wow. this happened to Roxana (now 18) TWICE, as well. Poor kid,
sitting in the toilet stall. The janitor opens the door, sticks his
head in and says, "Anybody here?" in a booming, loud voice. SHE
cringes and says nothing - how the heck does SHE know who he is and
why this loud strange man is entering the girls bathroom, etc. He
turns off the light and locks the door - from the outside. She was
trapped in there for 45 minutes the first time - it was in the fall
of 1st grade. The teacher finally noticed she was missing and went
looking for her. She would NEVER use the bathroom at school, after
that, until, believe it or not, at the very end of 1st grade, I was
working in the classroom after school, with her teacher, and she got
desperate enough to absolutely HAVE to go to the bathroom. But all
the building bathrooms were locked up already - so she went to the
after-school daycare program and asked to use their bathroom. She
went inside the bungalow where the bathroom was and they forgot she
was there and they locked up the bungalow and left. When I went
looking for her, I could hear her crying, but I couldn't get in to
let her out. They had to call for the janitor to come back to the
school to get her out.

-pam

Unschooling shirts, cups, bumper stickers, bags...
Live Love Learn
UNSCHOOL!
<http://www.cafepress.com/livelovelearn>





[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Sabrina Hill

--- In [email protected], "Michelle/Melbrigða"
<pamperedmichelle@...> wrote:


My response to him was, "If you aren't going to
> read anything about home/unschooling then you have no say in what
we
> do." I figured if he was not going to be the one who was home with
> them all day, taking care of them all day, being the one that was
> going to have to deal with the state, and do all the toting and
> running and planning *and* if he wasn't going to take a vested
> interest in how they were educated (by not informing himself) then
he
> had NO say in how I went about it.

I have said similar things to my dh and I guess that's the reason
for the shutdown on his part. He pretty much just pretends the
situation doesn't exist. Ok by me, for now anyway! I have said to
him "Hey listen to this..." and read him an email, post or article
on the subject. He listens and then just quietly walks away. I
have stopped pushing mostly because he has stopped griping! We all
live in our own little worlds I guess, but whatever works for now is
fine with me. Hopefully he will come around. We have already seen
so many positive changes in our children, which is probably why he
has been so quiet. He doesn't want to admit that I was right and
unschooling actually works! The only time he says anything now is
when my kids are figuring out some sort of math problem they have
encountered. My dh is a math whiz. He was in Mu Alpha Theta and
took honors calculus in HS. He gets very frustrated when he sees
the kids having trouble with simple math that they were doing with
no problem while in PS. Math is a very high priority for him. I
was so traumatised by math as a child that I was lucky to pass
general math classes in hs and even had to take a remedial math
class in order to go to college. But other than my needing to use a
calculator, I think I am doing fine without knowing how to do calc!

Sabrina Hill
Mom to 4 great kids
Kira,15; Ian,12; Zoe,8; Quinten,2

Sabrina Hill

--- In [email protected], Pamela Sorooshian
<pamsoroosh@...> wrote:

She would NEVER use the bathroom at school, after
> that, >

One of the reasons I had to take my ds to doctors was because he had
a wetting problem. NEVER wet the bed or at home but CONSTANTLY wet
at school. I didn't realize how much of a problem it was for a very
long time. He would occasionally come home wet but told me it
happened on the bus. The only time the school ever called me to
bring him a change of clothes was on the last day of school (1st
grade). That is when I found this out! I had meetings with
teachers and found out that he was not using the toilet at all. He
would just go in his pants. Now the first locked bathroom
incident happened in kindergarten - this had been happening the
whole time. He didn't have a wetting problem at home at that time
just at school. However it did evolve into an everyday problem.
Doctors told me there was nothing physically wrong with him - it was
psychological. My fault - he was looking for attention because
before the problem started I was always there (room mom) and then I
had to go back to work. It's funny how even with the knowledge of
what had happened it was still my fault. Institutions like to stick
together! Thank God I didn't accept any of this! If you can
believe it my ds is 12 now and just recently has stopped wetting.
Still has the occasional accident but 99.9% improved. I am so
grateful for the opportunity to be able to have my kids at home with
those who truly love and care for them and have a vested interest in
their well being!
>
Sabrina Hill
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>

Michelle/Melbrigða

On 6/14/06, Pamela Sorooshian <pamsoroosh@...> wrote:
> She
> went inside the bungalow where the bathroom was and they forgot she
> was there and they locked up the bungalow and left. When I went
> looking for her, I could hear her crying, but I couldn't get in to
> let her out. They had to call for the janitor to come back to the
> school to get her out.

Ya know, this would make *me* want to never go to the bathroom
anywhere but my own home! Poor kid!


--
Michelle
aka Melbrigða
http://eventualknitting.blogspot.com
[email protected] - Homeschooling for the Medieval Recreationist