mooosey3

Hi...I just joined a little bit ago. I feel the need to connect with
other unschoolers, to be inspired and to get support.

Some of you might remember me from WAY back when there were message
boards at unschooling.com. I posted a few times at unschooling.info but
haven't done much posting anywhere for the last year or two. I'm
Heather Hongslo (the one who usually had tons of questions) from Alaska
and I have 3 kids, Tanner 10, Hunter 7 1/2 and Haley 5. I recognize
many of the names on posts here so hi everyone!

To be truthful...I'm not sure what I have been doing. Most days lately
it seems like we are totally unschooling. We are doing interesting
things, living our lives, kids are learning...doing...playing... A few
years ago I thought I finally got unschooling but the last few years we
had craziness going on with selling our house, moving, having a home
built and moving again. I pretty much did nothing with the kids. Sure
they learned first hand about putting a house up for sale and all the
things that go into building a house but we had hardly any time for
anything else, or I didn't feel up to anything else because those were
stressful times.

Tanner had to have state assessments for the past 2 years and both times
passed Below Proficiency. (He is required to take the testing so we
can get an allotment each year.) So because I had my issues and
doubts...Last fall I ordered some curriculum(ugh!) but that was short
lived when I realized what a mistake I had made and put most of it away.
Hunter loved the Phonics Set and for awhile we played with that every
day...but the rest was a big waste of money from my parental panic
attack! I feel I am horribly failing because I should have presented
Tanner different opportunities or ways to grasp the things he'd be
tested on. He hasn't been able to grasp different concepts because he
has never had the need to grasp them or they haven't come up for him in
his life. I feel that is my fault. Some of my stress I feel on this is
because when I'm around other homeschoolers I feel like I am not doing
enough compared to them. I know I shouldn't compare myself to them or
my kids to their kids but it makes me wonder...and then all the what ifs
come up. My dh seems to think testing results matter more than I do so
that has caused a little stress for me. Although my dh doesn't put me
to blame he just thinks we need to do more with Tanner. Which I agree.
But I want to do it in a way that is something fun, exciting, something
Tanner wants to do on his own not because we are telling him to do
something...basically in an unschooling sort of way. I'm looking for
ideas on spelling and writing. I've read over and over that spelling
and writing happens from reading. Tanner doesn't like to read on his
own. He however likes me to read to him and for now that is what I
have been doing. Actually... I have been doing this for years with
Tanner. Patiently waiting.

Maybe it is not Tanner. Maybe it is me. Maybe I need to get rid of all
my doubts, concerns, issues. I guess as I am writing this I am getting
some of my answers. Still I'd love to get some responses, ideas,
suggestions...sorry I got this so long for my first posting.



Heather







[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

[email protected]

-----Original Message-----
From: mooosey3 <hongslo@...>

Tanner had to have state assessments for the past 2 years and both
times
passed Below Proficiency. (He is required to take the testing so we
can get an allotment each year.)

-=-=-=-=-

Thats why it's good to stay away from state-supported homeschooling!
<g> That money looks really swell!

Forget the assessments!

Is he bright? Is he learning? How can you tell? By talking with him?
By watching him tackle something new?

-=-=-=-=-

Although my dh doesn't put me
to blame he just thinks we need to do more with Tanner. Which I agree.

-=-=-=-=-

It's *always* good to do more! <g>

But what will more testing, more workbooks, more requirements actually
accomplish?

How about just doing more WITH him? BEing WITH him? Going for walks
and bringing home new things and talking about new ideas and eating new
foods. DO more!

-=-=-=-

But I want to do it in a way that is something fun, exciting, something
Tanner wants to do on his own not because we are telling him to do
something...basically in an unschooling sort of way.

-=-=-=-

But with schoolish results?

-=-=-=-=-

I'm looking for
ideas on spelling and writing. I've read over and over that spelling
and writing happens from reading.

-=-=-=-

Some people *like* to write. Some don't.

Some people are natural spellers. Some aren't.

Why are these sticky points for you?

-=-=-==-

Tanner doesn't like to read on his
own. He however likes me to read to him and for now that is what I
have been doing. Actually... I have been doing this for years with
Tanner. Patiently waiting.

-=-=-=-

Not very patiently. He's only ten.

I'd suggest to quit waiting. Enjoy reading to him. He won't always
*want* you to read to him. Enjoy it while you've got it; you're going
to miss it when it's gone! <g>

If you're waiting, you're not being patient! <g> You're sitting on the
edge, biting your fingers until he takes the lead.

Plunge ahead, he'll follow!

-=-=-=-=-

Maybe it is not Tanner. Maybe it is me. Maybe I need to get rid of all
my doubts, concerns, issues.

-=-=-=-

Yeah---maybe! <g>

~Kelly

Kelly Lovejoy
Conference Coordinator
Live and Learn Unschooling Conference
http://liveandlearnconference.org

"The hardest problem for the brain is not learning, but forgetting. No
matter how hard we try, we can't deliberately forget something we have
learned, and that is catastrophic if we learn that we can't learn."
~Frank Smith


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[email protected]

>>Tanner had to have state assessments for the past 2 years and both times passed Below Proficiency. >>

That just means below an average procificiency arbitrarily set for kids in a certain grade. It has nothing to do with Tanner or what he knows or who he is or what he's going to do in the future.

>>He hasn't been able to grasp different concepts because he
has never had the need to grasp them or they haven't come up for him in his life. I feel that is my fault.>>

There is no fault here. The test doesn't matter if he's not in school. He's got plenty of time to learn. He's got his whole life. I'd drop the allottment program. It seems like it's causing more harm thatn it's worth.

>>Maybe it is not Tanner. Maybe it is me.>>

Maybe. :o) I know what I think. What does your heart tell you?

--
~Mary
http://zenmommasgarden.blogspot.com/

"The miracle is not to walk on water. The miracle is to walk on the
green earth, dwelling deeply in the present moment and feeling truly
alive."
~Thich Nhat Hanh